


Don't Make Me Love You

by TrueromanticXO



Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: Angst, F/M, Falling In Love, Season/Series 01, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-07 22:23:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 97,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21465490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrueromanticXO/pseuds/TrueromanticXO
Summary: A different take on seasons 1 & 2 of Dawson's Creek. This is a Pacey/Joey fic :)
Relationships: Andie McPhee/Pacey Witter, Dawson Leery/Jen Lindley, Jack McPhee/Joey Potter, Joey Potter/Pacey Witter
Comments: 7
Kudos: 67





	1. Progress

Joey pretended to listen to Pacey’s story (something about Doug and decoupage) but her attention was on the rows of books. Dawson and Jen had disappeared behind one of the shelves ten minutes earlier.

She didn’t even want to think about what they were doing back there.

“Are you even listening to me, Potter?” Pacey asked, sounding bitter when he realized she was distracted.

Joey snapped back to reality and scowled at her present company. “Oh, you mean you were forming actual words? Wow, Pacey, I’m proud of you. You’re showing some real progress. Who knows, by the end of the school year you might even be able to enunciate.”

Pacey leaned over the table a little, his mouth curling into a knowing smirk. “Blushing cheeks followed by a sarcastic remark. Oh, I get it. You were wondering what Wonder Boy and New York girl are doing behind the bookshelves, no?” 

“Bite me, Witter.” She hated the fact that Pacey, of all people, knew her deepest darkest secret and was never one to miss an opportunity to torture her with the knowledge.

“It’s okay, Joey, they’re probably not too far along, whatever they’re doing. They’ve only been back there, oh, about ten minutes.” He then thoughtfully rubbed at his chin and narrowed his eyes, “then again, there’s a lot you can do in ten minutes, trust me. Dawson may already be rounding third base by now. Now, that would be what I call progress.”

Joey glared at him. “I loathe you.”

“Then go sit somewhere else,” he retorted, leaning back in his seat. “I’m too pretty for you, anyway.”

“Pretty? A Julius Caesar haircut and a black-and-blue nose doesn’t exactly qualify as pretty.”

“Jealousy isn’t pretty on you, Potter.”

“You know, Pacey, I’m ending this conversation right here, because I’m not going to give you the satisfaction of responding to your dimwitted, nonsensical, and fallacious remarks.”

Pacey only laughed. “Josephine, you are way too transparent. You may need to work on that before our friend Dawson finally opens up his eyes and realizes you’re in love with him.”

Joey crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. Sometimes she really hated Pacey. “I am not in love with Dawson.”

“Right. You just don’t want him talking to anyone else, or touching anyone else, or kissing anyone else…“

“I hope you fall in the creek and drown.”

Pacey chuckled as he went back to the homework he was halfheartedly working on. “Joey loves Dawson,” he taunted under his breath.

“You might want to consider moving that pencil away from me. I may become tempted to jab it into your eye,” Joey warned with a sneer. 

“Shh! I’m trying to read.”

“Trying being the operative word. I didn’t know your parents finally put you on Hooked-on-Phonics.”

Pacey shot her an unamused look before looking back down at his work.

Joey frowned a little when he didn’t provide her with a smart-ass retort. Had she finally hit a nerve?

“I’m so bored!” Abby Morgan suddenly announced from the upstairs level as she turned away from the clock, seeing that they still had hours to go.

“Well, where’s your ecstasy, Abby? You and I can just go on down to the boy’s locker room and… you know.”

Joey smirked, glad that Pacey’s attention was on someone else.

“I don’t have any left, and even if I did, I wouldn’t waste it on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” Abby retorted.

“What, you’re not gonna let Rudolph join in any of your perverted, reindeer games?” Pacey asked, feigning sadness, even sticking out his bottom lip a little.

Joey coughed into her fist, hiding a giggle. It would be a cold day in hell when she’d allow Pacey the satisfaction of knowing she thought he was sometimes funny. Sometimes. 

“Hey, now there’s an idea!” Abby exclaimed. “We could play a game!”

“Really? What do you wanna play? Pin the tail on the hoe bag?” Pacey asked with a grin.

“We could always hang you from the ceiling and hit you like a piñata,” Joey suggested, smirking at him.

“You just wanna beat me long and hard until sweet stuff explodes out of me,” Pacey replied with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.

“You’re disgusting!”

“And you’re a prude.” 

“We could play truth or dare,” Abby said, ignoring the two brunettes who were scowling at each other. “Please!”

“No way,” Dawson suddenly groaned from the other side of the bookshelf.

“Jen?” Abby asked. “You’re from New York, and I know you’re far from innocent. You want to play, don’t you?”

“Well, it could be fun,” Jen said after a beat.

Somehow, minutes later, they were all crowded behind the bookshelf that Dawson and Jen had disappeared behind. It relieved Joey to see that they had just been sitting and talking. Nothing else.

She shot Pacey a hard look when she realized he was smirking knowingly at her.

“Okay, I’ll go first,” Abby announced to the less-than-cheerful participants. “Dawson, you can ask me anything you want. I’ll tell the truth,” she said, giving him her scout’s honor.

“Forget it, Abby,” Dawson said. “I’m not playing.”

“Come on, Dawson, isn’t there anything you’ve ever wanted to ask me?”

“Yeah, are you really an alien, and what planet are you from?”

“Oh, nice,” Pacey commented.

“No, and earth,“ Abby said. “Okay, my turn.”

“Wait a minute,” Dawson interjected.

“No, that was your question.”

“That wasn’t a question, that was a joke!”

“Yeah, Dawson rarely tells jokes, Abby. Let him have this one,” Pacey teased.

“Look, there are rules to this game, and his turn is over. Now it’s my turn,“ Abby explained. “Okay, Pacey. Truth or dare?”

“Alright, Abby,” Pacey warned. “Just remember, I’m next.”

“Oh, I’m so scared. Truth or dare, Pacey,” Abby said with a roll of her eyes.

“Dare, truth, I don’t care,” Pacey said with a shrug as he shuffled a little.

“Okay, truth. Pacey, why are you in detention? Just tell us already.”

Joey leaned into Pacey a little and lifted her eyebrows with an interested smirk. She loved watching Pacey squirm, even if it rarely happened.

“Well, I… uh… did I say truth? Because I meant dare.” 

“Oh, come on, Pacey! Just tell us,” Joey exclaimed.

“Hey, I said I want a dare!” Pacey defended, sending her a death glare.

“You are such a wuss,” Abby sighed. “Fine, dare. I dare you to kiss, on the lips for ten seconds,” she paused and looked around at the three of them. She then smiled, deciding to throw a wrench into the creepy little group’s dynamic. “Jen.”

“What? No!” Dawson exclaimed, his eyes wide.

“Come on, Jen. Better do what she says,” Joey said with a small devious smile. “It’s the rules.”

Dawson glanced down at Jen, his eyes pleading. “Jen, you can’t kiss Pacey.”

“She kissed half of the United States already, what’s the difference?” Joey mumbled, getting a glare from both Dawson and Jen, and an amused snort from Pacey.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jen asked, looking hurt.

“Forget it,” Joey muttered with a wave of her hand. “It was a joke. Calm down.”

“Come here, Lindley,” Pacey said as he stepped forward, intent on getting back at Dawson for messing up his face with that basketball. “Let me show you how a real man kisses.”

“Jen? You’re really going to do this?” Dawson asked when Jen reluctantly moved closer to Pacey.

“Dawson, it’s just a game,” Jen mumbled.

“Yeah, come on, man! Where’s your truth or dare spirit?” Pacey asked.

“Fine,” Dawson finally relented, even though he looked anything but happy.

Pacey and Jen laughed awkwardly before leaning in.

Dawson’s face went hard as he watched Pacey and Jen kiss in front of him. He scoffed before looking away.

Joey watched the tentative kiss with a smirk, loving how Jen had seemed so eager to play the game just then. She then looked at Dawson and was disappointed to see that it obviously upset him.

Pacey pulled away from the kiss first and smiled as he tenderly wiped his bottom lip with the back of his hand. “Not bad, Lindley. Not bad.”

Dawson narrowed his eyes at Pacey, suddenly wishing he had another basketball to throw at his face.

“What’s the matter, Dawson?” Abby asked with fake sweetness, loving the drama.

“How could you kiss him?” Dawson asked. “He’s my best friend.”

“Relax, Dawson, before you hurt yourself. It’s just a game,” Joey snapped as she crossed her arms over her chest, irritated that he was acting so jealous over a stupid little kiss.

“Joey, stay out of this,” Dawson warned.

“Dawson, it’s just for fun,” Jen assured him before Joey could retort.

Dawson couldn’t help but remember the conversation he and Joey’d had earlier that day; about girls not wanting a romantic guy, but a guy with bigger biceps. He also couldn’t help but realize how long it had taken him to get a kiss out of Jen, and Pacey had gotten one without even trying.

“Okay, Pacey, your turn,” Abby pointed out, eager to bring out the dirt. “You can ask anyone.”

“Okay,” Pacey said, looking between his potential victims as he rubbed his hands together. “Mmm… Joey!”

Joey scowled. “No way! You said you would pick Abby!”

“Yeah, well, I changed my mind,” Pacey retorted. “Truth or dare, Potter.”

“Fine. Truth,” she said, instantly regretting her choice when she saw his grin widen.

“Okay…” Pacey began, pausing for a beat before asking, “Joey, who do you like?”

“What?” Joey asked, her heart dropping to the bottom of her stomach. “I, um, like a lot of people.”

“No,” Pacey corrected. “Who do you love? Who do you have dreams about? Who do you wish would open his eyes already and realize what’s been in front of him this whole time?”

Joey’s eyes skidded to Dawson to find him frowning.

“Joey, you like someone?” Dawson asked. “I’m confused.”

“No,” Joey blurted. “I don’t like anyone.”

“Liar, liar, Joey’s pants are on fire,” Pacey mumbled.

“My answer is no one,” Joey defended. “Now it’s my turn.” She ignored Pacey’s shit-eating grin. “Abby.”

“Dare,” Abby said with a grin.

“I dare you to, um, go flash Ms. Tringle.”

“That’s all you got?” Abby said with a smirk. “You can do better than that.”

“Yeah, we don’t want Ms. Tringle having a stroke at the sight of Abby’s saggy boobs,” Pacey pointed out.

“For your information, my boobs are perfect! And let’s just say I’ve heard through the grapevine that you’re less-than-average in the below-the-belt department,” Abby finished, holding her pinky up for emphasis.

“Hey, Abby, I have a dare for you,” Pacey said. “Kiss my ass.”

“Now, Abby, we all know you’re lying,” Joey said. “Ms. Jacobs isn’t the type to spread rumors,” she said, sending Pacey a smirk.

“You can kiss my ass, too, Potter.”

“Come on, let’s play,” Abby whined. “Fine, let’s skip me. I’ll go. Joey.”

“Hey, how come it’s okay for you to break the rules!” Dawson exclaimed, sounding like the fifteen-year-old he was.

“Because it was my idea to play,” Abby defended with a sneer. “Joey, truth or dare.”

Joey wanted to stay far away from the truth. “Dare.”

Pacey gasped and held a hand to his chest. “Josephine Potter picking a dare? Now that’s progress.”

Joey sent him a baleful glare.

Abby watched the two, smiling knowingly as they exchanged their banter. “Okay, Joey. I dare you to kiss, on the lips for ten seconds… Pacey.” 

Abby’s words hung in the air as they all seemed to freeze.

“What!” Joey asked, looking away from Pacey, her mouth dropping.

“No way,” Pacey said, shaking his head. “Ain’t gonna happen.”

“I am not kissing him, so get that idea out of your head,” Joey said, crossing her arms over her chest stubbornly.

“Oh, come on!” Abby exclaimed. “It’s just a game, remember?”

“A game that I’m no longer playing,” Joey snapped. “I am not kissing that neanderthal. End of story.”

“Come on, Joey,” Dawson said. “It’s just a game. You said so yourself. Jen and Pacey had to kiss. It’s only fair.”

Abby grinned, suddenly liking Dawson Leery at that moment. “We gotta keep things interesting.”

Joey stared at Dawson, hurt that he would be so willing to watch her and Pacey kiss, and sickened at the way he was smiling down at Jen.

She wanted to wipe that smile off of his face.

“Fine, come here, Pacey,” she finally spat, shocking all of them. If Dawson was so adamant about watching her kiss another guy, then kiss another guy she would do… and good. 

Maybe he’d finally show some jealousy.

“Wait… what?” Pacey asked, confused. 

“Pacey, get over here and let’s get this over with,” Joey hissed, not believing she was about to kiss Pacey Witter.

Pacey reluctantly made his way over to her. “Fine, whatever. I don’t care,” he said nonchalantly, even though his heart was thumping in his chest.

Joey grabbed a handful of his orange sweater and tugged him towards her. She suddenly realized how close he was and wondered what the hell she was doing; wondered why she would kiss Pacey just to make Dawson jealous. She really was crazy. She glanced over at Dawson and watched as he smiled softly, seemingly unaffected and waiting.

“I’ll keep the time,” Abby said with a devilish grin as she lifted her watch.

Joey slowly lifted her eyes to Pacey’s and sighed.

“Go,” Abby instructed.

Pacey leaned down hesitantly and pressed his lips softly against Joey’s.

Joey froze as soon as his mouth touched hers, and she decided that it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. She slowly began to respond to the kiss, wanting to give her good friend Dawson a show. She hesitantly wrapped her arms around his neck, stepping on her tiptoes slightly, and pressed against him as the kiss deepened.

Pacey’s large hands gripped her small waist as he angled his head to deepen the kiss. He gently grabbed the material of her yellow sweater at the small of her back, holding her to him. He bravely snuck his tongue between her lips and was surprised when she let him do that.

“Ten,” Abby announced, having let the time drag out to at least seventeen seconds, but no one seemed to notice.

Joey pulled away from Pacey and looked at him for a split second before looking away. She stepped back and turned slightly, suddenly feeling shy.

What the hell was that?

Pacey slowly brought a hand to his mouth and gingerly wiped at his bottom lip as he looked at her.

Joey finally glanced at Dawson and saw that he was no longer smiling. In fact, he looked anything but happy.

“Whoa, that was intense!” Abby exclaimed.

“It was just a kiss,” Pacey said with a shrug.

“I don’t want to play this game anymore,” Joey said, her body still shaking slightly from the unexpected reaction to the kiss.

“Me neither,” Dawson mumbled, looking distracted suddenly.

“Oh, boo! You guys are no fun,” Abby said with a pout.

~

A little while later, after everyone had moved to separate parts of the library, Jen found Dawson sitting at a table, a book open in front of him.

“Hey.”

Dawson looked up, his face expressionless. “Hey.”

Jen sat down and sighed. “Look, Dawson, I hope you’re not mad at me. It was just a stupid little dare and…”

“A dare you accepted a little too willingly,” Dawson pointed out.

“Dawson.”

“Look, Jen, I want to be alone right now, okay?” Dawson asked, not wanting to deal with any of it, especially the fact that he was equally upset about the kiss between Pacey and Joey. He had no idea what that could mean.

“Okay,” Jen said, standing up. She then looked over and saw Pacey walk over to Joey. She ignored the twitch in her gut and went to see what Abby was up to.

~

Joey looked up when a shadow fell across the table she was sitting at. She sighed. “What do you want, cretin?”

“I’m bored,” Pacey said as he sat down across from her. “What are you reading?”

“Nothing you’d be able to understand,” Joey shot back, hiding any kind of sign that she was still reeling from the unexpected spark she had felt from the kiss.

It was a momentary lapse in judgment. She had gone temporarily insane, or something, because there was no way in hell she had felt something the moment Pacey Witter’s lips had touched hers. It was just out of the question. 

“Look, Joey, about what happened,” Pacey began.

“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” Joey interrupted. “It never happened. It was just a stupid game, a stupid dare, and it won’t be mentioned again, got it?”

“Heard you loud and clear.”

“Good.”

Pacey stood up but left her with a few parting words. “For the record, Jo… he was sick with jealousy. I could tell.” He smiled softly before walking away.

Joey watched as Pacey stopped at the table Abby and Jen were sitting at. He said something to them which earned him a foul look from Abby. He laughed before walking away, leaving Abby fuming in his wake.

She couldn’t help but notice Jen watching after him. She then glanced over at Dawson to see his attention was on a book.

She sighed before going back to her own book, suddenly forgetting where she had left off.

~

As soon as detention let out, Joey had to be at the Ice House to start her shift.

“You’re late,” Bessie pointed out.

“By ten minutes,” Joey retorted as she tied her apron around her waist.

“It’s bad enough you had to be in detention all day, now you’re late,” Bessie said with a sigh. “I’m raising a delinquent.”

Joey rolled her eyes and walked away from her sister right then, not in the mood to argue. She had enough things to think about.

She turned around and frowned when she saw Pacey standing behind her. “What did you do, follow me?”

“Yeah, Jo, I’m stalking you. Ya caught me,” Pacey replied sarcastically. “I’m actually here to get something to eat. The chances of me going home to a hot meal on the table is slim to nil. Besides, my parents probably didn’t even know where I was today.”

Joey sighed as he slipped into a booth. She knew she was stuck with him for at least an hour, and Pacey wasn’t exactly the easiest customer to get stuck with.

“What do you want?” she asked dejectedly.

“Is that any way to treat a paying customer?”

“Pacey,” Joey warned before slipping into the booth across from him. She glanced around to make sure Bessie wasn’t around. She then looked at Pacey, her expression softening.

Pacey chuckled. “Before you even ask… yes, he was jealous.” 

“I wasn’t going to ask that.”

“Yes, you were. You forget that I know you, and I know what your ‘Dawson’ face looks like.”

Joey rolled her eyes and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Why does it matter? Even if he was jealous, he has Jen.”

“Yeah, well, the way she shoved her tongue down my throat… he probably won’t have her too much longer,” Pacey said as he scanned his menu. 

“Wait, what? You think Jen has the hots for you?”

Pacey shrugged. “Who doesn’t?”

Joey smirked. “You’re deluded. Isn’t that the attitude that caused Dawson to throw a ball at your face? You thinking you’re hot stuff and every girl wanting you?”

“No. Dawson threw a ball at my face because he’s a twat.”

Joey rolled her eyes.

“So, are we okay? You know, about what happened?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Joey said as she stood up to leave.

Pacey chuckled. “Oh, right, I forgot. We’re not talking about that incredibly hot kiss we shared.”

“It was not hot, Pacey. It was actually sickening.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Potter,” Pacey said with a laugh. “I’m just throwing this out there, but if you ever want to make Dawson jealous some more, you know where to find me.”

Joey didn’t know if he was joking or not, but she shrugged it off. “I’d rather swallow a rusty nail and have it come out sideways.”

Pacey shrugged. “The offer’s always on the table. I love watching Oompa Loompa squirm.”

“As much as I enjoy engaging in half-witted conversation with you, I have to get to work before Bessie throws a fit.”

“Well, I’ll take my order to go. I have to be at Screen Play in about an hour. Nellie covered the first part of my shift since I was in detention.”

Joey nodded. “You want the usual?”

“You know it,” Pacey said with a grin and inspected her ass when she walked away.

“Pacey, stop looking at my ass,” Joey warned without even turning around.

~

After work, Joey walked to Dawson’s house with a smile on her face. For the longest time she had wanted Dawson to show jealousy, any kind of sign of emotion towards her, and today he had.

Finally.

If she would have known all she had to do was kiss Pacey Witter to get Dawson to notice her, she would have done it a long time ago.

She also thought about the fact that Jen may have a thang for Pacey. It was perfect. New York Whore would dump Golden Boy for Relentless Sidekick, and she’d get Dawson all to herself.

Dawson wouldn’t have been able to write that script better if he tried.

She reached the ladder and climbed up it, the smile still on her face. For the first time in a long time, she felt hope. Maybe there was a future for her and Dawson.

She ducked into Dawson’s room, looking forward to relaxing and watching a movie with him, but she froze when she saw what was happening on the bed.

Jen was on her back and Dawson was above her. They were engaged in a passionate kiss, and Dawson’s hand was under her shirt.

Joey panicked and ducked back out of the window, wanting to get as far away from that room, and him, as possible. She nearly fell off the ladder as she made her hasty retreat. She ran to her boat and rowed home as fast as she could until her arms burned and tears streamed down her face.

When she reached her house, she couldn’t bring herself to go inside. She didn’t want Bessie asking her questions she didn’t feel like answering right then.

She began walking with no particular destination in mind. She found herself at Screen Play a little while later. She sighed, knowing she didn’t really have anywhere else to be. The sad reality of it was that Pacey was the only person she could go to about this.

Pacey looked up from the movie he was watching behind the counter. “Well, look what the cat dragged in. What do you need? The English Patient? I think we have a copy with your name on it.”

“No,” Joey said with a sigh as she stopped in front of the counter. “I was just out for a walk and…”

“Have you been crying?” Pacey asked, the teasing tone gone.

“No,” Joey lied. “Yes.” She then groaned. “God, Pacey, I am such an idiot. To think Dawson was actually jealous and that he would break up with Jen. Maybe I’m just as oblivious as he is sometimes.”

“I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to be as oblivious as him,” Pacey pointed out. “What happened?”

“I went to his house, you know, to watch a movie like always and,” she paused, “they were on his bed. Making out.”

“Sounds about normal so far.”

“He had his hand up her shirt!”

Pacey eyed her. “That sometimes happens when you’re making out. Joey, please tell me you’re not that big of a prude.”

Joey glared at him. “I know couples make out, Pacey. I… it just hurt to see it, that’s all.” 

“What did you think would happen?”

“I… I don’t know what I thought.” 

“You just thought Dawson would see you kiss me, realize he’s in love with you, drop Jen cold, and set sail with you into the sunset?”

“I don’t know what I thought,” Joey repeated miserably.

“Why do you let him do this to you, Potter? You’re miserable all the time, and it’s always because of him.”

“I’m not miserable all the time,” Joey retorted.

“What is it about him? Is it the mullet? The obsession with Spielberg? The big forehead, the crossed eyes? Huh?”

“Well, when you describe him like that…” 

They both smiled. 

Joey sniffled and turned her attention to the television. “What’re you watching?” she asked as she leaned against the counter.

“Never Been Kissed,” Pacey answered. “Doug recommended it, but I’m finding it all pretty lame. It’s about the search for the perfect kiss and the strangest of places where you can find it. Or so Doug says.”

“Never seen it,” Joey said. “Besides, I don’t believe in the perfect kiss. In fact, I don’t believe in romance at all.”

“Joey Potter, the eternal cynic.”

“You think you found the one, and suddenly a blonde bimbo from the big city with a C-cup comes to town, and it’s all shot to hell.”

“I never saw that one,” Pacey joked. “Wait, was it a porno?”

Joey smirked. “I gotta go before Bessie sends out a search party.”

Pacey nodded, sort of sad to see that she was leaving. “See ya, Potter.”

Joey moved to leave but hesitated before turning around to eye him. “Hey, Pace? Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah?”

“Why were you in detention today?”

Pacey grinned after a beat. “Masturbating in the locker room.”

“Charming,” Joey replied sarcastically before turning her back to him and walking to the door, not daring to let him see her smile.

She walked home, feeling a little better as she thought about her and Pacey’s conversation and the fact that it had been semi-civil.

Now, _that_ was progress.


	2. Hero

Jen stared at the golfball-sized hickey on her neck that stared back at her in the mirror. She groaned and let her hair fall back into place, hiding it mostly. She hoped Grams wouldn’t notice. The last thing she needed right now was a lecture on fortification and the condemnation of God. 

It was just way too early in the morning for that. 

At first, she had considered wearing a turtleneck but then realized the wardrobe she had brought with her from New York wasn’t exactly littered with turtlenecks and cardigans. She would just have to pray that Grams's eyesight wasn’t as good as it used to be. 

She then smirked at the thought of her praying about anything. 

She sat down on the edge of her bed to slip on her shoes and sighed, thinking back to two nights before. She had gone over to Dawson’s house to talk about what had happened between her and Pacey in detention that day. Before she knew what was happening, Dawson claimed she didn’t want him sexually, and then she was on the bed and Dawson was on top of her. 

She hadn’t wanted things to be like that with Dawson; she hadn’t wanted to go so fast. Dawson had seemed different at first, romantic and innocent, but it seemed ever since he found out about her past, he’d been pushing it. 

They had been so close to going all the way, but Gail had interrupted by knocking on the door. 

Now, she knew she’d have to face him at school soon and, knowing from the little she knew about Dawson, he’d want to talk about it. At length. 

She then thought back to the kiss she and Pacey had shared. She couldn’t deny the fact that she’d liked it. She had always been a little curious about Pacey. He had been the first one she was attracted to as soon as she stepped out of that taxi, but Dawson had made the first move. 

She liked Dawson; she did. She liked his sweetness and innocence. She liked the way he looked at her as if she were a goddess. She liked the way he was content, or had been at first, to just hold her hand. She even found his obsession with movies to be kind of endearing. He was so different from the guys she had known in New York and that was exactly what she needed. 

But he sure as hell didn’t kiss like Pacey. 

Now she had to go to school and face her boyfriend (whom she had almost had sex with out of obligation) and the guy who was his best friend, whom she maybe wanted to have sex with out of curiosity. 

And she had thought New York was complicated. 

~ 

“Bodie!” Joey yelled. “I need to dry my hair!” She then growled a little and made her way to the mirror. She began angrily pulling a brush through her wet, tangled hair. “I’m going to be late for school!” 

Bessie made her way over as she tried to put an earring in. “Move it,” she said, bumping Joey with her hip. 

“This is my mirror,” Joey snapped. 

“I need to use it for one second,” Bessie said. “I can’t get it in the hole.” 

“Sounds like a personal problem,” Joey muttered. 

Bessie smirked. “Jo, I don’t know what’s been going on with you the past couple of days, but you’re even more miserable than ever. Smile once in a while. You’re young, be happy.” 

Joey thought about the past two days, about what she had seen on that bed, and the fact that she had been avoiding Dawson and his phone calls all weekend. She wasn’t particularly excited about having to face him at school and was vaguely considering skipping it. 

“What’s there to smile about, Bessie? I hardly got any sleep last night, thanks to Rosemary’s baby over there.” 

Baby Alex gurgled from his crib, almost as if he knew he was being talked about. 

“My room is now, somehow, public territory. I need to blow dry my hair, and Bodie’s been in there for twenty minutes doing God knows what,” she trailed off. 

Bessie rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m sorry your life is just so complicated, Joey. You know, I wish I had your problems.” 

“You don’t know anything about my problems,” Joey snapped. “Look, forget it. I have to go or I’m going to be late for school.” She grabbed her backpack, knowing there was no talking to Bessie. 

She left the house, slamming the screen door shut behind her. She was somewhat satisfied when she heard Alex wail. 

Serves Bessie right. 

~ 

Joey hooked her thumbs through the straps of her backpack as she made her way down the crowded hallway. She avoided looking directly at anyone, as she always did, intent on getting to homeroom and getting the day started and over with. 

When she finally reached her homeroom, however, Dawson and Jen were standing a few feet away from the doorway of that room, engaged in what looked to be an intimate conversation. 

Go figure. 

She turned and hurried in the opposite direction, slamming into someone as she rounded a corner. 

“Whoa, Potter, what’s your hurry?” Pacey exclaimed as he straightened himself from the collision. He then eyed a nearby stairwell. “Wait, were you trying to push me down the steps?” he asked, half-serious, hooking a thumb over his shoulder. 

Joey rolled her eyes, not in the mood for Pacey Witter just then. “Pacey, if you know what’s good for you, you’ll get out of my way.” 

“Hey, isn’t your homeroom back that way?” he asked, ignoring her comment. 

Joey pushed him against the wall, her anger getting the best of her. “I warned you, Witter.” 

The wind was knocked out of him. He regained his composure and hurried after her, not one to let Joey Potter get away with anything. 

“What happened, Jo?” Pacey asked, trying to keep in step with her, nearly running into a group of girls in the process. He cocked his head back to check them out before turning his attention back to her. 

Joey halted and faced him. “God, you’re like one of those mutt dogs that follow you around the neighborhood, hoping you’ll drop them a scrap.” 

Pacey grinned. “An adorable mutt dog, you have to admit.” 

Joey rolled her eyes, suddenly forgetting why she was upset. Then she remembered. “Look, it’s nothing I want to talk about, okay? Especially with you.” 

“In other words, Dawson screwed up again, and now you’re gonna hold everything in and descend into a long, cold, downward spiral.” 

Joey glared at him before turning and continuing on her way, not exactly sure where she was going. Before she knew it, she was standing at the exit of the school. 

“Thinking of skipping?” Pacey asked. “Wow, Potter, I’m impressed. First, you picked a dare in detention, and now you’re thinking about skipping school. This is the best week ever.” 

Joey thought about it. It would be so easy to walk through that door and get away from everything; away from Dawson and Jen’s googly eyes, away from Pacey’s annoying, insistent questions, from the hordes of Satan’s disciples that littered these hallways…

“Do it, do it,” Pacey chanted behind her, leaning in closer to her ear. “Come on, Joey, throw caution to the wind. Take those three steps forward towards your freedom. Forget about biology and English and social studies. Think about freedom! The thought of being caught. Let your heart thump wildly in your chest as you spend this weekday morning in a new exciting way, with no pencils, books, or rulers.” 

Joey turned around to eye him, taken back by how close he was. 

Pacey chuckled nervously and took a step back. “I’m disappointed, Jo. I really thought you had it in ya,” he muttered before turning and heading down the hallway. 

Joey watched after him until he disappeared into the masses. She then turned back and eyed the door. 

A few minutes later, she slipped into her seat in homeroom. 

~ 

Dawson stood in the lunchroom and looked through the crowd, trying to find Jen. After a bumpy start at the beginning of the day, they had come to an understanding. What had happened the other night had been a momentary lapse in judgment. It shouldn’t have gotten that far, not yet at least, and they both agreed on that. 

Still, even though things were okay with Jen, and he was beyond happy that she wanted him sexually, he couldn’t get the image of Pacey and Joey kissing out of his head. 

Why had it bothered him so much? It was just an innocent, stupid game. Besides, Pacey and Joey were his best friends, and they kissed. Shouldn’t he be thrilled that they at least showed some sign of getting along? 

He didn’t find Jen but instead found Joey sitting by herself, her eyes scanning over a book as she half-heartedly picked at her food. 

“I’m getting the vague impression that you’re trying to ignore me.” 

Joey’s head snapped up at the sound of his voice. She shifted a little in her seat. She then smirked. “Wow, Dawson, you’re not completely oblivious. I’m surprised.” 

Dawson sighed as he sat down. “Joey, what’s that supposed to mean?” 

Joey sighed and tucked a chunk of hair behind her ear. “Nothing, Dawson. It’s nothing. I wasn’t ignoring you, I just… had to work this weekend,” she said, lying. 

“So, we’re okay?” Dawson asked with a smile. 

“Yeah, we’re okay,” Joey said, even though she knew that was far from the truth. She would just have to swallow her pride and let Dawson live his life the way he wanted. She concluded that she’d have to accept Jen, eventually. 

Suddenly, Jen spotted them through the crowd and made her way over. 

“Hey, guys,” Jen said as she sat down next to Dawson, leaning in to peck him chastely on the cheek. 

“Hey,” Joey mumbled as she sipped her apple juice. 

“You guys wanna do something tonight?” Dawson asked as he opened his milk carton. “Maybe get together and watch some movies?” 

“Yeah, sounds like fun,” Jen said before looking at Joey, hoping the other girl would accept. The idea of being alone with Dawson again so soon after what happened the other night didn’t exactly appeal to her right then. 

“I can’t,” Joey lied. “Um, I promised I’d watch Alexander tonight. Bessie and Bodie are going out to the Realto. They haven’t had a date night in a while, so I couldn’t refuse.” 

“Oh,” Dawson said, disappointed. “Well, we can always come over to your house while you babysit and watch movies?” 

“Yeah, we can bring the popcorn,” Jen said with a small, friendly smile. 

Joey held back a grimace. “Um, I don’t think so,” she said, trying to come up with something else. 

Just then, Pacey came over and slid into the chair next to Joey. “What’s going on?” he asked as he began shaking his juice carton. 

“I’m trying to get Joey to have a movie night tonight with me and Jen, but she’s not budging,” Dawson answered, still a little pissed at Pacey for kissing his girl. Both of them. 

“Oh, well,” Pacey began as he eyed Joey. “She can’t. You’re helping me with that homework thing, aren’t you?” 

Joey looked at him, suddenly thanking God for Pacey Witter right then. “Oh, yeah,” she said, looking at Dawson. “I forgot. I’m helping him with history.” 

“With Science,” Pacey said at the same time. He then eyed the weird looks Dawson and Jen were giving him. “The, uh, history of science.” 

Dawson looked between the two of them, wondering what was going on, and why they were acting so strange right then. “You’re working on the history of science?” 

“Yeah, I have to write an essay on it,” Pacey said before sipping his drink. 

“Kind of a broad subject, don’t you think?” Dawson asked. 

Pacey waved a dismissive hand. “Nah.” 

“I completely forgot,” Joey said, locking eyes with Pacey. “Thanks for reminding me,” she said, thanking him for saving her. 

“I gotta go,” Jen said, breaking the silence as she stood up. “Mr. Hampton is letting me use the computer room before the fifth period.” 

Dawson stood up as well. “I’ll walk with you.” He threw a curious look back at Pacey and Joey before following her. 

When they were out of earshot, Joey slouched in her seat. “That was close.” She then looked at Pacey as he obnoxiously chomped on a fry. “Thanks for saving me there. Spending the evening with Dawson and Jen is right up there with me wanting to go swimming in a pool of lava.” 

“No problem, Potter,” Pacey insisted, “but you owe me,” he said, waving the fry at her. 

Joey frowned. “What do you mean I owe you?” 

“What? You thought I was going to do something nice for you and not want something in return? Damn, Jo, I’m hurt. Don’t you know me at all?” 

“That’s the problem, Pacey,” Joey said, “I know you too well. That’s why I don’t like you.” She then stood up, grabbed her tray and looked down at him. “Okay, I owe you,” she finally relented. 

Pacey grinned. 

“But I swear to God if you come up with something sexual, I’ll strangle you with my shoelace.” 

“I love you, too, Jo!” he called out as she walked away. He chuckled to himself as he went back to his fries. 

~ 

Pacey looked up when the bell above the door chimed. 

“Hey, Dawson, I thought you were off tonight.” 

“I am,” Dawson said as he moved towards the counter. “I’m actually here to pick up a movie for me and Jen to watch tonight, though the last thing I want to do is watch a movie with her if you know what I mean.” 

“Yeah, after what Joey said she saw the other night, I definitely know what you mean,” Pacey immediately stopped talking. “Uh… shit.” 

Dawson’s face fell. “Wait, what? What did Joey see?” 

Pacey shifted uncomfortably. “Nothing, man,” he mumbled. “Forget I said anything.” 

“No, Pacey,” Dawson replied, “You implied that Joey said she saw something. What did she see?” 

Pacey sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “All right, but this is between us, okay?” 

“Pacey, just tell me,” Dawson warned. 

“Alright, Joey saw you and Jen making out the other night and, apparently, you two were going at it heavy. It freaked her out a little.” 

Dawson sighed. “So that’s why she’s been acting so weird around me the past couple of days.” He then frowned when realization set in. “Wait, she told you about it?” 

“Yeah,” Pacey said with a shrug. 

“Since when does Joey go to you about stuff?” 

Pacey looked at him and then shook his head with a mirthless laugh. “Dawson, did you ever just sit back and look at things, I mean really look?” 

Dawson narrowed his eyes in confusion. 

Just then, a group of laughing teenagers walked in, heading straight towards the New Release section. 

“I have to go,” Dawson said, running a hand through his hair. “I’ll see you later.” He left, not even bothering to grab a movie. The very idea of Joey going to Pacey about something like that made him uneasy. He had to get to the bottom of it.

~ 

Joey groaned as she made her way over to a table that was littered with trash. She picked up the lousy three dollar tip and shoved it into her apron pocket. 

“Hey.” 

Joey looked up to find Dawson standing beside her, his eyes squinting against the glare of the sun. “Hey, Dawson. Look, I can’t talk right now. We are so busy. Besides, I’m not in a very good mood. I just had to put up with the most obnoxious bunch of customers, and they left me a three dollar ti-“ 

“Joey, what’s going on with us?” Dawson asked, interrupting her. 

“Now’s really not the time to analyze our friendship.” 

“Well, I just got done talking to Pacey, and he shared with me a particular emotion a particular someone has been feeling after a particular situation.” 

“Dawson, quit talking in particulars and get to the point,” Joey sighed, not in the mood. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you saw me and Jen making out?” 

“I’m going to kill him,” Joey mumbled under her breath as she turned and continued cleaning up the table. 

“And why did you go to Pacey instead of coming to me?” Dawson asked, sounding hurt. 

“It’s kind of hard to come to you for anything these days, Dawson, your tongue is always shoved down Jen’s throat,” Joey spat. 

“Joey, that’s not true.” 

“Look, I don’t want to talk about this right now.” 

“What’s going on with us? I just feel like you’re pushing me away for some reason. Ever since Jen came around, you’ve been acting so different.” 

Joey laughed but found nothing funny. “I’ve been acting differently?” 

“Yes!” 

Joey wanted to grab Dawson right then and shake him, yell at him and tell him to open his eyes already. “Maybe we’re just growing apart, Dawson,” she finally said with a sigh. “Did you ever think of that?” 

“But I don’t want to grow apart. You’re my best friend,” Dawson insisted, “and I want you to come to me, not Pacey when something is bothering you.” 

Joey sighed. “You’re my best friend, too, Dawson, but there are just some things I can’t talk to you about.” 

Dawson opened his mouth to say something more but was interrupted when Bessie came over. 

“Joey, are you blind? Can’t you see we’re packed and there are people who need their orders taken? You can talk to Dawson later.” 

Joey sighed and eyed Dawson apologetically before going back to work. 

~ 

“Hey, Ice Queen.” 

Joey turned around to eye Pacey, her hair a mess. “Oh, thank you, Satan, for completing this night of horrors by sending one of your disciples to finish me off.” 

“It’s nice to see you, too, Jo.” 

Joey faced him fully and tilted her head. “You know, you’re lucky I don’t have a sharp object in my possession right now.” When he frowned, she continued, “Thanks for opening your big fat mouth and telling Dawson what I told you.” 

“Hey, he forced it out of me!” Pacey defended. 

“Somehow I doubt that,” she snapped before continuing to the next table. 

Pacey followed. “Um, what are you doing tonight?” 

“Well, I’m going to go home and hope I can work through the pile of homework I have, and pray that Alexander stays asleep for longer than an hour. Then I’m going to go to bed, wake up, and start the whole miserable process over again.” 

Pacey clapped his hands once and nodded. “How about a party instead?” 

“Oh, gee whiz, Pacey! As much fun as that sounds, I just can’t,” Joey said, rolling her eyes. 

“Come on, it’ll be fun,” Pacey assured her as he continued following her around. “When was the last time you went out and had some fun? You know, let your hair down, threw caution to the wind…” 

Joey sighed and wiped sweat from her forehead when they reached the counter, her rounds done for the moment. “I don’t know what fun is.” 

“Well,” Pacey began tentatively, thinking how cute she looked right then, with her face all flustered, and her ponytail a mess. “Let me show you some fun.” 

Joey scowled. “Somehow I don’t think your definition of fun is the same as mine. Fun for me consists of painting and writing. Fun for you consists of boinking your English teacher and stealing your dad’s jeep.” 

Pacey’s smile faded at the mention of Tamara, but he quickly recovered, not wanting Joey to see she had gotten to him. “Did you just say boinking?” 

Joey rolled her eyes. 

“Come on, Jo, what’s it gonna hurt? The worst that can happen is you won’t have fun. Besides, you owe me, remember?” Pacey reminded her with a grin. 

“Pacey.” 

“And we don’t quite hang out enough, you and I.” 

“You’re supposed to be giving me pros, not cons.” 

Pacey reached forward and rustled her hair. “You’re so cute.” 

“Touch me again and you’ll have a bottle of ketchup shoved in an unusual place.” 

“I love when you get kinky.” 

Joey thought about the fact that she had nothing else to do that night, considering Dawson would once again be preoccupied with Jen. The thought of sitting at home with a bitchy Bessie and a wailing baby didn’t exactly sound like fun. 

“Fine, I’ll go,” she said with a sigh before pointing a finger into his chest. “But the moment I stop having fun, I’m leaving.” 

Pacey grinned. “Well, okay then. Pick you up at eight,” he said as he began walking backward. “Oh, and Jo?” 

Joey crossed her arms and arched her brows, waiting. 

“Wear something slutty.” 

~ 

They stood on a balcony overlooking the beach, each of them holding a plastic, red cup in their hands. 

“Where’s the fun?“ Joey asked. “Did I miss it?” 

Pacey rolled his eyes as he brought his cup to his mouth. “Come on, Jo, you’re not having even a little fun?” 

Joey watched as a group of jocks attempted to pick one of their friends up over the keg, only allowing him to fall to the ground before they all laughed hysterically. “Oh, yeah. Tons.” 

“Yeah, this sucks,” Pacey said, looking around. He didn’t know anyone there, the beer was horrible, and the music was even worse. Still, anything was better than sitting at home with his parents. “I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go get another beer and then we can get going.” 

Joey nodded and watched as he made his way through the crowd towards the keg. She would never admit it to Pacey, but she wasn’t having a horrible time. In fact, she enjoyed being somewhere different; she enjoyed having a cup of alcohol in her hand. She enjoyed doing something out of the ordinary. 

She brought her cup back to her mouth and took another gulp of her beer. Already on her third cup, she was feeling a little warm and dizzy, but she liked it. 

Pacey returned a few minutes later, carrying two cups. He offered her one and was surprised when she accepted. 

“Thanks.” 

“You know, I’m liking you a little drunk, Jo. You’re almost human.” 

Joey just gave him the signature roll of her eyes. 

Pacey’s eyes narrowed as he scanned the beach. “There’s Kristy Livingstone,” he pointed out. “Maybe this party isn’t so bad.” 

Joey followed his stare and spotted Kristy down on the beach. “Sorry, Pace, but you don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell with someone like Kristy.” 

Pacey frowned, her comment cutting deep, but he wouldn’t let her know that. 

“Please, I could have Kristy in the palm of my hand without even trying,” he said matter-of-factly as he sipped his beer, even though he knew he was full of it. 

Joey couldn’t help but laugh. “Is that so?” she asked before hiccuping. “You’ve had a thang for Kristy for years. If you’re so sure you can have her, why don’t you go for it?” 

Pacey shrugged. “I’m just biding my time, waiting for the perfect opportunity.” 

“You’re so full of shi-“ 

Pacey covered her mouth with his hand. “Before you finish that sentence, just let me point out that you have no right criticizing me about not going after someone I want.” 

Joey frowned, Pacey’s words cutting. She slapped his hand away. “I hate you,” she mumbled into her cup before downing the rest of its contents. 

“Maybe you should slow down, Potter. I don’t really feel like carrying you later,” Pacey warned. 

“And maybe you should mind your own business,” Joey shot back, her good mood gone after the mention of Dawson. “Why don’t you just leave me alone? Go talk to Kristy or something.” She waved her hand as if she were shooing a fly. 

“You’re a mean drunk,” Pacey said, feigning hurt. “Fine, whatever. I’ll catch up with you later.” He left her then, weaving his way through the crowd. 

Joey watched after him, not thinking he’d leave her there. “Oh well,” she mumbled. She began making her way in the keg's direction but was stopped by a guy with long blond hair. 

“Hey,” the guy said, leering at her. 

“I didn’t know Hanson performed at high school parties,” Joey said sarcastically, trying to make her way around him. 

“I’m Brett,” he said, holding out his hand. 

“And _I’m_ heading away from you,” Joey said. 

“Want me to get you another beer?” Brett asked. 

“Yeah, and take the chance of you slipping something in my drink? No, thank you.” She tried to move around him, but he blocked her path. 

“You’re cute.” 

“And your breath reeks,” Joey retorted, smelling vodka on him. “Let me through.” 

“What’s wrong with you? I’m just trying to talk,” Brett said, his voice tight. “Why are you being such a bitch?” 

Joey was getting scared as his tone changed. She looked around nervously, realizing no one was even paying attention to them. She reached out and grabbed ahold of the railing beside her, suddenly becoming dizzy as the three beers she had consumed began to take effect. 

“Leave me alone,” she spat, her voice almost breaking. 

Brett grabbed her arm, not roughly but hard enough to scare her. 

“Excuse me.” 

Brett turned around and glared at Pacey. “No, excuse you. Can’t you see I’m trying to have a conversation here?” 

“I believe she asked you to leave her alone,” Pacey spat, fuming. The guy was almost twice his size, but he was also twice as drunk as Pacey. 

Brett glared down at Pacey as he stumbled a little. “Whatever, I don’t have time for this shit.” He then looked back at Joey. “Bitch,” he muttered. When he turned back to face Pacey, he got a fist in his jaw. He stumbled backward, nearly falling. 

“Uh, let’s go,” Pacey said, grabbing Joey by the elbow and leading her through the crowd, intent on leaving before the guy gained his composure. 

They ran and, once they reached his jeep, he turned to make sure they weren’t being followed. 

“You okay?” he asked her, knowing she was a little shaken. 

“Yeah,” Joey said as she wiped the hair from her sweaty face. “Thanks, Pacey.” 

Pacey only nodded. “Well, I think we had enough fun for the night. Let’s get you home, Potter.” 

“I can’t go home,” Joey insisted. “It’s still early and Bessie will be up. She’ll kill me if she knows I’ve been drinking.” 

“No, she’ll kill me if she knows you’ve been drinking,” Pacey corrected. “Well, uh, where do you wanna go? There’s not much to do in Capeside this time of night.” 

“I don’t know,” Joey answered, still surprised by recent events, namely Pacey coming to her rescue. “We could just walk, I guess.” 

Pacey nodded, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Let’s walk then, Potter.” 

Joey finally went home an hour later, relieved to see that Bessie and Bodie were sound asleep. She plopped down on the couch and buried herself under the covers, her head still spinning slightly, and not just because of the alcohol. 

She thought over the past couple of days; her realizing how serious Dawson was with Jen, the strange friendship she seemed to be forging with Pacey, and the thought that maybe, even though things weren’t turning out exactly as she had planned, she was going to be okay. 

Maybe it was okay to grow up, to grow apart. 

Maybe it was okay to let go of the fantasy and start living in reality.


	3. Carnival

A few nights later, Joey had a night off from work. After being caught up with homework and chores, she realized she had nothing to do. 

She finally stopped delaying the inevitable. Every time Dawson asked her to stop by and watch a movie or hang out, she had made up an excuse. She was running out of them. 

She slowly climbed up the ladder, remembering what she had seen the last time she had visited her best friend, and prepared herself for the worst. 

This time, however, Dawson was alone and lounging in his desk chair, his legs propped on the bed and the TV remote in his hand. 

“Joey, hey,” Dawson said, looking generally surprised to see her as he sat forward. 

“Hey, Dawson,” Joey said, sitting down on her side of the bed. After a few beats of awkward silence, she asked, “How come Jen’s not over here stuck to your face?” 

“She went to some church function with her grandmother, unwillingly of course. I was actually just thinking about calling you to see if you wanted to watch a movie. They’re running a Hitchcock marathon on USA.” 

“Calling me because Jen isn’t around? Nice,” Joey said, trying to sound nonchalant, even though it hurt a little. 

Dawson sighed. “Come on, Joey, I’ve been asking you to hang out for days now.” 

Joey leaned back against the headboard and eyed the movie on the television. “I’ve been busy.” 

Dawson watched her. “Busy hanging out with Pacey?” 

Joey rolled her eyes. “When someone follows you around and annoys the heck out of you, it’s not called hanging out, Dawson. It’s called I can’t get rid of him. Besides, I haven’t spoken to him since that party the other night.” 

“Well, I… wait, back up,” Dawson said, leaning forward in his chair. “When did you and Pacey go to a party?” 

“The other night,” Joey answered with a dismissive wave of her hand. “It was lame, anyway. We were only there maybe an hour.” 

“Since when do you go to parties? With Pacey, no less.” 

“Since the other night,” Joey intoned. “What’s the big deal, Dawson? Weren’t you just complaining not too long ago about how Pacey and I don’t get along?” 

“Yeah, but,” Dawson began. 

“So what’s the big deal if we hang out one night?” Joey asked, tucking hair behind her ear, secretly delighted that Dawson was showing concern. 

“I just don’t like the idea of you two doing stuff without me, I guess,” Dawson mumbled, sitting back in his seat. 

“You do stuff with Jen without me all the time.” 

“Yeah, but Jen’s different,“ Dawson defended. “She’s my girlfriend.” 

Joey cringed inwardly. “And Pacey’s my friend.” 

Dawson looked back at the movie, his mind swimming. First, they kissed. Then she told Pacey a secret. Then they went to a party together, a party they didn’t even consider inviting him to. 

Joey watched him, knowing his mind was working overtime. She glanced back at the movie, a slow smile tugging at her lips. 

If the thought of her hanging out with Pacey Witter upset Dawson that much, she’d have to do it more often. 

They watched the rest of the movie in silence, neither of them knowing what else to say to each other. 

~ 

The next morning at school, Dawson found Jen at her locker. He snuck up behind her, leaned in, and kissed her softly on the cheek. 

Jen smiled up at him as she grabbed a book from her locker. “Hey, Dawson.” 

Dawson smiled back as he hefted his backpack higher on his shoulder. “Hey, I called you last night, but you didn’t answer.” 

Jen shut her locker, and they started down the hall together. “Yeah, we didn’t leave the church until late.” 

“How was it?” 

“Torture, but it made Grams happy, so it was worth it.” 

Dawson eyed her, thinking how cute she looked right then. “So, um, the carnival’s in town tonight.” 

“Is it?” 

“Yeah, I was thinking maybe you and I could go. Make it a date.” He then stopped walking and continued when she turned to face him. “I don’t know what happened between us, Jen, but for the past week, it just feels like something has changed. I don’t know what, but everything just feels… different.” 

Jen sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. She couldn’t deny that things were awkward between her and Dawson. She didn’t know if it was because of her secret attraction to Pacey or her guilt for not wanting Dawson as much as she should. 

“I know. I feel it, too.” 

“So, let’s move forward,” Dawson suggested. “Let’s go to the carnival tonight, have fun and get things back to the way they were before life got in the way and complicated things.” 

Jen smiled and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. “Sounds like fun.” 

They continued walking. Dawson grabbed her hand, thinking maybe things would be okay. He then looked down the hall and almost froze in his step when he caught sight of Pacey standing at Joey’s locker. 

Jen noticed the halt in his step. “What’s wrong?” She followed his gaze and watched as Joey laughed at something Pacey said. 

“Nothing,” Dawson said with a sigh. Here he was with a beautiful, sexy girl by his side who wanted him, and he couldn’t help but be jealous of the fact that his two best friends were laughing in the middle of a crowded hallway. 

Jen looked at him, realizing he wasn’t happy. She narrowed her eyes in confusion. “Is the fact that Pacey and Joey are spending more time together bothering you?” 

Dawson finally looked away and made a face. “No,” he replied. “No. I’m just… surprised, that’s all.” He looked back towards his friends in time to see them turn in the opposite direction and head down the hallway. 

Jen sighed as she watched Dawson’s brows furrow together in hurt and confusion. She suddenly knew exactly what had changed. 

~ 

“You have to admit it’s kind of funny.” 

Joey didn’t bother to look at him as she rummaged through her locker with a frown. “Funny? I don’t find anything particularly funny about it, Pacey. Enlighten me.” 

“Well, you know, the fact that you and I can’t stand each other, yet Mr. Rand found it necessary to pair us together for a week-long biology project,” Pacey explained as he hooked his thumbs through the straps of his backpack. “About the mating habits of snails, no less.” 

Joey shut her locker and turned to him with a scowl. 

“Come on, not even a little amusing?” Pacey asked, holding his thumb and finger apart a mere inch. 

“No, not when my grade is dependant upon a remedial underachiever.” 

“You wound me, Josephine,” Pacey said, grabbing at his chest dramatically. He fell into step with her when she began heading down the hall. “So, how are we going to do this? I can come to your house after school. I would invite you to my place, but my family isn’t exactly the Huxtables.” 

Joey sighed, not looking forward to having to spend the next week doing homework with Pacey, but knowing she had no choice. “I work right after school today, but I get off at eight.” 

“Okay, I’ll be over then.” He began walking backward. “Have dinner ready would ya, something of the meat variety?” 

“You’ll be lucky if I offer you Chex Mix.” 

~ 

Pacey looked at the variety of books spread out in front of them. “Wow, this is interesting.” 

Joey sighed as Pacey interrupted her in mid-sentence. So far, they had been studying for almost an hour and had gotten nothing done, mainly because Pacey raided the fridge twice and took three bathrooms breaks. 

“I’m sorry there are no cartoons to make it interesting for you, Pacey,” she said with a sigh. “It’s not supposed to be interesting.” 

Pacey grabbed the remote from the coffee table and turned on the television. “Matlock is on.” 

Joey grabbed the remote from him and turned the TV off. “God, I swear Alexander has a wider attention span than you do.” 

“Look, I’m sorry my ADHD is such a problem for you, but I thought we would play with snails or something! I mean, who wants to read?” 

“We have to do the research first, Pacey, before dealing with the actual snails.” 

“How about you do the research and I watch TV?” he said, grabbing the remote from her and turning the TV back on. 

Joey slammed the book she had on her lap shut and threw it on the table. “You are impossible. We’re never going to get this done.” 

“Hey look, the carnival’s in town!” Pacey exclaimed, ignoring her as a flashy advertisement for the carnival flashed on the screen. 

How ironic, seeing as how the carnival is going to be your only career option,” Joey retorted. 

“We should go,” Pacey suggested. 

“How about we don’t? Pacey, we have to get at least some work done tonight. This project is going to count for thirty percent of our final grade.” 

“You know, I know you’re talking, but all I hear is blah-blah-blah-I’m-no-fun-blah-blah…”

“And to think you’re going to be sixteen in a few months,” Joey said with a shake of her head. 

“Okay, Jo… do you want to be reading a book or playing Whack-a-Mole?” 

“I’d rather be playing Slap-a-Pacey.” 

“That was cute,” Pacey muttered. “Come on, Potter, let’s go. It’ll be fun.” 

“Last time you said that I got drunk and was assaulted by one of the Nelson twins.” 

Pacey leaned towards her and gave her a puppy dog face. 

“Pacey,” Joey sighed. “That’s not going to work with me. You forget that I enjoy seeing you in pain and misery.” 

“Come on, Potter, I’ll even buy you a hot dog. Well, let’s not get too crazy. I’ll buy myself a hot dog and let you have a bite.” 

Joey rolled her eyes. 

“Come on, you know you wanna.” 

A little while later, they arrived at the carnival. 

“I knew you couldn’t resist me,” Pacey said as he surveyed the crowd. 

Joey eyed him warily. 

“Hey, there’s Dawson and Jen!” he exclaimed. 

“Great,” she muttered. “Just the perfect way to cap off the night.” 

“Come on,” Pacey said as he mindlessly grabbed her hand and tugged her through the crowd. 

Dawson and Jen turned just as they reached them, the smiles slipping from their faces. 

“Hey,” Dawson said, surprised to see them there, together. He then noticed that they were holding hands and, suddenly, any fun he had been having with Jen minutes before disappeared. 

Jen grinned at Pacey as she held up the small stuffed animal Dawson had won her. “Hey, guys, look what Dawson won me.” 

Joey looked away. 

Pacey leaned towards the stuffed animal and squinted his eyes. “Where? I don’t see it.” 

Joey realized she and Pacey were still holding hands and pulled her hand away as if she had touched fire. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her coat. 

“I didn’t know you guys would be here,” Pacey said, breaking the awkward silence. 

“We actually just got here a bit ago,” Jen responded, trying to keep the tension light. 

“You guys came together?” Dawson asked, looking specifically at Joey. 

“Yeah,” Joey answered, seeing something flash in Dawson’s eyes right then. “We had to work on a project for biology together, but we decided to stop by and check it out.” 

“Hey, Pace, wanna ride the Whip with me?” Jen asked. 

“Lead the way, Lindley,” Pacey said as he followed her. 

Dawson and Joey stood awkwardly once they were alone as the crowd moved around them. 

~ 

“So,” Jen began once she and Pacey were on the ride. “You and Joey seem to be spending a lot of time together recently.” 

“Not by choice,” Pacey responded. “Ever since Dawson and you started dating, she’s become more pathetic than before. I feel kind of bad for her,” he teased. 

Jen laughed, detecting a trace of his cologne. “So, there’s nothing going on between you two?” she asked, more out of her own curiosity than anything else. 

Pacey looked at her as if she had grown two heads. “Something between me and Joey?” He reached over and placed a hand to her forehead. “You do feel a little warm.” 

Jen swatted his hand away. “What? You can’t deny there’s some weird tension between the two of you, the way you constantly bicker and tease each other.” 

“Yeah, it’s called hatred.” 

“I think it’s called denial,” Jen replied. She then eyed Pacey, noticing he had suddenly gotten quiet. 

~ 

Dawson and Joey sat down on a nearby bench and watched as the crowd migrated before them. 

“Joey, what’s going on?” 

Joey sighed. “Dawson, we just came here together for something to do. It’s not a big deal.” 

“I was talking about us,” Dawson replied. “Something’s changing and I feel as if we’re powerless to stop it.” 

Joey looked at him. 

“We’re changing.” 

“Dawson.” 

“I feel like we don’t know each other anymore,” Dawson said with a sigh. “We barely see each other anymore-“ 

“We’re getting older, Dawson, we’re changing. You have a girlfriend now.” 

“But that doesn’t mean you can’t be my best friend.” 

“Maybe you can’t have both,” Joey mumbled. 

“It shouldn’t have to be that way,” Dawson exclaimed. He watched as she turned her face away from him and he realized just how beautiful she was. “Joey.” 

Joey turned to look at him just as Pacey and Jen came walking up. 

“Come on, Dawson,” Jen said, holding out her hand. “Ride the ferris wheel with me.” 

“Jen, you know how spinny rides make me woozy,” Dawson whined, sounding like the fifteen-year-old that he was. 

Joey watched as Dawson took Jen’s hand and headed reluctantly towards the ferris wheel. 

Pacey sat down next to her and bumped his shoulder against hers. “You okay?” 

“Not really,” Joey mumbled. “Something’s different with us, I don’t know what it is. Growing up sucks,” she muttered. “I never once considered that growing up would have to equal growing apart. I just automatically assumed nothing would change between us, or if it did, it would be for the better.” 

Pacey sighed as he looked out at the crowd. “Maybe growing up doesn’t have to equal growing apart. Maybe it just means growing closer to what’s meant for you. If you and Dawson are meant to be, it’ll happen. You just have to let fate run its course and hold on for the ride.” 

Joey looked at him, the corner of her mouth tugging upwards. “That was profound. Did you come up with that all by yourself?” 

Pacey smiled back and then shrugged. “Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a complete moron.” 

“No, I guess you’re not. There’s some hope for you after all, Witter.” 

Pacey looked at her for a beat longer before saying, “You know, Potter, I think it may just be fate that we’re sitting here together on this bench.” 

The smile slipped from her face as she looked into his eyes, suddenly remembering the kiss they had shared in detention for some odd reason. “Why’s that?” 

“Because I’m mad hungry for a hot dog and there’s a hot dog stand right there,” he said, pointing a few feet away. “You can’t tell me that’s not fate!” 

Joey watched as he stood up and headed towards the stand, confused by the moment that had just passed between them. She then rolled her eyes and got up to follow him. 

~ 

“It bothers you, doesn’t it?” 

They were stopped at the top of the ferris wheel. “No.” 

Jen looked away and sighed. “Yes, it does.” 

Dawson rubbed a hand over his face. “Okay, it bothers me, but it’s not what you think.” 

Jen smiled softly. “Dawson, it’s okay to be upset about it. I understand. You’re feeling a little left out and it’s okay to feel that way. Just let them both know how you feel. Having a fourth person enter this little dynamic you three had going on surely isn’t easy on either of them. Everything will work itself out.” 

Dawson nodded, knowing there was a little more to it than that. 

He forced a small smile a second later when Jen pulled away from a kiss and rested her head on his shoulder. The smile soon slipped from his face when he realized the magic wasn’t there anymore. 

~ 

“Congratulations, pick a prize,” the man behind the Whack-a-Mole stand declared unenthusiastically. 

“Pick one, Potter,” Pacey insisted. 

“You don’t have to do that.” 

“Just pick one. What am I going to do with a stuffed animal?” 

“Actually, I’d rather not know.” 

Pacey gave her a look to show that he wasn’t amused. 

“Um, I guess I’ll take the purple elephant.” 

The man behind the booth handed Joey the giant stuffed animal before turning to the next customer. 

“There, now you have a date for the next school dance,” Pacey teased as they started walking. 

Joey smirked, although she was secretly touched that Pacey had won her a stuffed animal. 

“Wanna go?” 

“We can’t,” Joey said. 

“And why’s that?” 

“We didn’t ride the ferris wheel yet,” Joey pointed out, not ready to leave just yet. “It’s a tradition. You can’t go to a carnival without riding the ferris wheel,” she said as if it were a scientific fact. 

“Hm, me on a ride that periodically stops fifty feet in the air? It would be so easy for you to push me out and for them to rule it as an accident.” 

Joey rolled her eyes. “For your information, if I was going to kill you, I would have done it a long time ago.” 

“That somehow doesn’t put my mind at ease.” 

“Come on, doofus.” 

Once they were on the ferris wheel and stopped at the top, Joey’s elephant between them, Pacey sighed. “I think your elephant is trying to hit on me.” 

“A stuffed animal is about the only thing you can get, Pace, so I’d take it if I were you,” Joey said as she looked down, suddenly tensing. 

“What’s the matter, Jo? You scared?” Pacey asked. He began to rock the cart they were in back and forth. 

“Pacey!” 

Pacey laughed and stopped. “You know, Jo, this is kind of romantic. Too bad there’s a big purple elephant between us, or I might just feel you up.” 

“The only thing you’re going to be feeling is my foot in your ass.” 

“Ouch.” 

Joey eyed him as he surveyed the ground below them. She smiled softly, thinking maybe Pacey Witter wasn’t so bad to be around. 

~ 

After searching for Jen and Dawson and not finding them, Pacey and Joey decided they had had enough excitement for one evening and left. 

Pacey parked the jeep in front of the Potter house and cut the engine. “Well, this is the part where you tell me you were confused, surprised, and attracted and then lean in and give me a kiss,” he teased. 

“No, this is the part where I exit the car,” Joey said as she opened the door. She hesitated before getting out. She looked back at him, smirking. “I was confused and surprised though.” 

“Attracted?” Pacey asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Definitely,” she said as she grabbed her purple elephant. 

The smile slipped from Pacey’s face and he frowned, surprised. 

“You know how I get around purple elephants,” she said and then got out, closing the door behind her. 

Pacey couldn’t help but laugh as he watched her disappear into the house.


	4. Realizations

“Thank you, come again!” Pacey said, giving the customer his most charming smile. “Be kind, rewind!” he called out as an afterthought. 

Just then, Dawson came rushing into the store, his hair a mess, and his eyes wide. 

“Hey man, you’re late,” Pacey said as he leaned back in his chair and propped his feet on the counter, resuming his regular position. 

Dawson dropped his backpack behind the counter before glancing at Pacey. “This coming from the guy who is barely ever on time?” 

“I was on time today and you were late, let me enjoy this rare blunder in the perfect life of Dawson Leery. It’s not every day I get to see you screw up.” 

Dawson sighed. “My life is far from perfect, Pacey.” 

“Come on, Dawson, are you serious, man?” Pacey asked, slightly irritated. “You have a hot girlfriend, good grades in school, decent parents.” 

“I’m just dealing with some stuff, okay?” Dawson snapped. 

Pacey frowned before realizing the reason for Dawson’s attitude. “This particularly snarky attitude wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that Joey and I have been a little more friendly towards each other lately, would it?” 

“Well, since you brought up the subject, yes,” Dawson said, crossing his arms and glaring at his best friend. “It does bother me.” 

Pacey laughed mirthlessly and shook his head. He then crossed his arms across his chest. “This should be good,” he mumbled before saying, “And why’s that, Dawson? Why does it bother you?” 

“I just don’t get it,” Dawson sighed. “Why the recent desire to be buddies with each other, when, not too long ago, I couldn’t even get you guys to sit still long enough to film a scene for my movie. How getting you two to even be in the same room together was like pulling teeth.” 

“So, shouldn’t you be happy, Dawson, that your two best friends are attempting to get along? Isn’t that what you wanted?” 

Dawson’s mouth set in a line as he thought it over. “Yes,” he answered after a beat. 

“So, what’s the problem?” Pacey asked. He then snapped his fingers. “I know! Could it be the fact that you hate that Joey Potter is showing attention to another member of the male species? That maybe her life doesn’t revolve around you?” 

Dawson frowned. “What are you trying to imply, Pacey?” 

“Think about it, Dawson, I mean really think about it. You’re not upset because Joey and I might become friends and leave you out. You just don’t want anyone else having Joey.” 

“That’s ridiculous.” 

“Is it?” 

“Look, I don’t care who Joey hangs out with or what she does. I just don’t get it, that’s all. I don’t get why I suddenly don’t seem to factor into the equation anymore.” 

“So, you don’t like Joey Potter? You don’t want her for yourself? You’re just upset because we may be forming a friendship outside of you?” Pacey asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yes,” Dawson said. 

“So, you would be perfectly okay with it if I were to ask Joey Potter out on a date?” Pacey asked for educational purposes. The expression on Dawson’s face right then was answer enough. 

“You want to ask Joey on a date?” 

“Yeah,” Pacey answered, “or do you have a problem with that? Because, if you do, all you have to do is say the word.” 

Just then, as if on cue, Joey entered the store, her eyes tired. “Please tell me you have the English Patient in stock.” She walked to the counter and laid her head down on crossed arms. 

Dawson looked at Joey before looking back at Pacey who was smirking. 

“We have one copy left with your name on it, Potter.” 

Joey looked at Pacey and exhaled a sigh of relief. “Pacey Witter, sometimes I think I might love you.” 

Dawson huffed. “I’m gonna go sift through the returns,” he muttered before disappearing into the back. 

Joey frowned. “What’s up his butt?” 

“I think Dawson’s finally starting to figure some things out,” Pacey said as he rang up the video and handed it to her. 

“Like what?” Joey asked with a frown. 

“Oh, I’m guessing you’ll find out soon enough,” Pacey said as he eyed her. 

Joey sighed and brushed a chunk of hair from her face. “I gotta get going. Hopefully, Alexander will fall asleep soon so I can get some homework done. I’ll see you at school.” 

Pacey watched after her and sighed before going back to the movie he’d been watching, for the first time wondering where his place would be in all of it when Dawson finally figured it all out. 

~ 

“And we’re done,” Joey said as she dropped her pen and flexed her fingers. She picked up the paper and inspected it with a smile. “I can’t believe we did it. I didn’t think we were ever going to get finished.” 

“Trust me, Potter, the end didn’t exactly seem near to me either,” Pacey said as he leaned back into the couch and stretched his arms with a yawn. 

“Well, we would have gotten done a lot sooner if you hadn’t put three carnivorous snails together in an attempt at a ménage à trois and killed them all.” 

“How was I supposed to know they wanted to eat each other?” Pacey asked, his voice screeching. 

“Does the word carnivorous mean anything to you?” 

Pacey shrugged. “Yeah, it means they were purchased at a carnival.” 

“No, Pacey, it means-“ She paused. “Nevermind. Trying to argue a point with you is useless.” 

“Does this mean you’re going to stop talking, because I wasn’t listening anyhow,” Pacey said as he channel-surfed. 

Joey shoved their essay neatly into a folder and looked at him. “You know, Pacey, repeat this to anyone and I will castrate you, but… it wasn’t so bad spending a week with you. It was actually somewhat mildly entertaining. Then again, any recent entertainment I’ve had comprised of a nagging older sister and a newborn, so I guess anything seems better in comparison.” 

“Thanks?” Pacey said with a frown. 

Joey laughed before standing up to finish clearing off the coffee table. 

Pacey watched her. “What do you say we go out and celebrate our triumph? One last hoorah before we go back to hating each other.” 

“I wasn’t aware that we had stopped hating each other,” Joey joked, half-smiling to let him know she was joking. 

“I’m serious, let’s go grab a pizza or something. I’m starving since you’re a terrible hostess and never offered me any food.” 

“I offered you Chex Mix.” 

“Chex Mix isn’t food. It’s the thing you eat to get your stomach prepared for food,” Pacey pointed out. “Like stretching before exercising, or foreplay before sex.” 

“Well, I guess you do learn something new every day,” Joey retorted. 

“Grab your coat, Potter.” 

“As fun as it sounds to be seen with you in public, I can’t,” Joey said as she shoved her books into her backpack. “Dawson called earlier and asked me if I could come over later. He wants to talk to me about something. I guess Jen had other plans.” 

“Oh,” Pacey replied, wondering why that bit of information was like a knife twisting in his gut. “He wants to talk, huh?” 

“Spielberg probably got nominated for an award or something,” Joey said as she sat back down next to him. “Or Jen didn’t kiss him last night before leaving his house and he needs my advice.” 

“So, he didn’t tell you what he wanted to talk to you about?” 

“No, why?” Joey asked, giving him a look. “Do you know something that I don’t know?” 

Pacey shrugged and nonchalantly went back to flipping through the channels. “Nope.” 

“I have a vague feeling that you’re lying, but I’m too exhausted to argue,” Joey said before leaning back into the couch. 

Pacey was aware of how close she was and abruptly sat forward. “I should get going. I’m technically grounded.” 

Joey looked at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“I threw a lit bag of dog crap on Mr. Hudson’s porch yesterday. Needless to say, my pops found out,” Pacey explained as he stood up. 

“Ah, the day in the life of Pacey Witter.” 

“See ya, Jo,” Pacey said as he slipped his jacket on. 

“See ya,” Joey replied and watched as he left. She then groaned and stood up, preparing herself to go see Dawson and listen to whatever problem was plaguing his life now, no matter how much she didn’t want to hear it. 

~ 

Dawson stared at the television screen, but his mind was not on the movie, no matter how much he had been looking forward to watching Amistad. 

Pacey’s words were haunting him and he couldn’t understand why. Joey was his best friend, his soul mate, his conscience. He didn’t have romantic feelings for her; she was like a sister to him. 

Then why was the idea of her and Pacey spending time together killing him? Why did it irritate him to no end that Joey had gone to Pacey and not him the night she had found him and Jen making out? Why did his stomach drop when Joey had said, jokingly, that she loved Pacey? 

Why was the magic with Jen suddenly gone? Had it ever really existed, or had it been a figment of his wild imagination? 

He had so many questions with no answers, so he had called Joey to see if she wanted to come over and talk. 

Of course, she had to work on her project with Pacey first before anything, which had worsened his mood even more. 

He then thought about Pacey. What right did Pacey have assuming he knew how Dawson felt? Pacey may have been around since the beginning, but he did not understand the extreme connection between him and Joey. For Pacey to assume he had a grasp on that connection annoyed him more than anything. 

Just then, there was a sound at the window. He smiled. 

Joey came climbing through the window and threw him a crooked smile. “I’m getting too old to climb through that thing,” she said as she rubbed at her sore leg. 

Dawson’s smile faltered slightly, the thought of Joey not climbing up that ladder and through his window anymore cutting him. 

Joey sat down on the bed and glanced at the television. “Amistad? Dawson, this movie sucked the first time.” 

“Every movie deserves a second look,” Dawson defended. 

“Yeah, well, trust me… it’s gonna suck the second time, too,” Joey said, tucking a chunk of hair behind her ear. 

Dawson watched her, thinking how cute she looked right then. He looked away with a frown. Since when did he think about the way Joey looked? 

“So,” Joey began, rubbing the palms of her hands against her jeans. “What did you want to talk about, Dawson?” 

Suddenly, Dawson didn’t know what to say. He had wanted to discuss their friendship and the changes they were going through, but he didn’t know where to start, because he wasn’t even sure their friendship was the concern anymore. 

Instead, he had a whole new mess of things to think about, like why he suddenly found her smirk so endearing, or how wide her eyes got when she was curious, or how she chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully as she watched TV. 

For the first time in a long time, Dawson was speechless. 

“Earth to Dawson,” Joey said, amused. “Come in, Dawson.” 

Suddenly, everything seemed so clear to him; why he was so upset about Joey and Pacey, why the sparks with Jen were gone, why their friendship was changing. 

He had feelings for Joey Potter; his best friend, his soul mate, his conscience. 

“Joey, I think there’s something we need to talk about,” Dawson began, his head swimming. 

“Hence why I’m here,” she intoned, jokingly. 

Dawson ran a hand through his hair, not knowing where to start. 

Joey turned serious then. “What’s wrong?” 

“I…” Dawson began and then stopped, not knowing how to go about telling your best friend in the entire world that you now had a thang for her. 

Just then, there was a knock on the door. “Dawson?” Jen said from the other side of the door. “Can I come in?” 

Dawson sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he continued looking at Joey. A part of him wanted to tell Jen to go away, but he knew he couldn’t do that. “Yeah,” he called out as Joey stood up. 

“I should get going,” Joey said as Jen came in. 

“Oh, hey, Joey,” Jen said as she looked between the two of them. “Was I interrupting anything?” she asked, slightly annoyed. 

“No,” Joey said, tucking hair behind her ears. “I was just going, anyway. I haven’t gotten much sleep in the past week and the couch is calling my name.” She looked at Dawson apologetically, getting the feeling that he had been about to tell her something important. 

“Oh, okay,” Jen said, watching as Dawson stared at Joey. 

“See ya,” Joey said before ducking out of the window. 

“Maybe I should have called first,” Jen said when they were alone. 

Dawson sighed. “You don’t have to call, Jen.” 

Jen sat down on the bed. “I have a feeling I was interrupting something.” 

“It’s nothing we can’t talk about later,” Dawson said as he turned his attention to the movie. He shut it off, realizing the movie sucked no matter how many times he watched it. 

~ 

The next day, Pacey walked into the Ice House and looked around before spotting Joey by the register. 

“Hey, Ice Queen.” 

Joey didn’t bother looking up as she counted her tips. “Hey, Jail Bait,” she said, not missing a beat. She then sighed. “Four hours of slaving for a bunch of ingrates, and all I get is seventeen dollars in tips.” 

Pacey slid onto a stool and watched her. “Maybe you need to gain a sunnier persona.” 

Joey smirked at him. “Pacey, I refuse to take advice on character form from you.” 

“See now, if I order something, don’t expect a tip,” he teased as he grabbed a menu. 

“Yeah, and don’t expect to not find a loogie in your burger,” Joey said with a scowl. “You want the usual? Double cheeseburger, extra everything, cheese fries, onion rings, and a Diet Pepsi?” 

“Eh, let’s get a little crazy today and make it an orange soda.” 

“Great change of pace, Pace,” Joey mumbled before shouting his order back to Bodie. “Don’t you have a home to go to?” 

“Yeah, but I’d much rather be here annoying you.” 

“Yay me,” Joey mumbled. 

Pacey shifted on his stool and grabbed some sugar packets. “So, uh, did you get to have your heart-to-heart with Wonder Boy last night?” he asked as he ripped the sugar packets open and dumped the contents onto the countertop, forming a small, white mound. 

Joey leaned against the counter and sighed. “No,” she said, “I have a feeling he was going to say something important, but Wonder Bra showed up, so I left.” 

“Something really important, huh?” Pacey asked as he grabbed more sugar packets. 

“Yeah,” Joey said, tucking a stray chunk of hair that had fallen from her ponytail behind an ear. “He got all tense and serious.” 

“You have any idea what it could be about?” Pacey asked, trying to be nonchalant as he continued building his small mountain of sugar. 

“No,” Joey said as she propped her chin in her hand and mindlessly watched him make a mess in front of her. “I’ve been trying to reconnect with him and get him to open up about some stuff, and I feel like we were close to getting that last night but, of course, Jen ruined it like she does everything.” 

“Maybe you should be a little easy on Jen,” Pacey said, grabbing for even more sugar packets. “You have to take into consideration that she has no idea about your weird, ass-backward feelings for our friend Dawson.” 

Joey rolled her eyes and straightened up. “For the last time, I don’t have feelings for Dawson.” She swept a hand across the counter and dusted his sugar mountain to the floor. 

Pacey’s jaw dropped in feign horror. “You witch!” 

Joey smiled before heading off to a group of customers that just walked in. 

Pacey turned on his stool and watched as she forced a smile and greeted the customers. He turned back towards the counter, grabbed more sugar packets and didn’t realize he was smiling as he began the process all over again. 

No, he couldn’t think of anywhere else he’d rather be right then than sitting there and annoying her. 

~ 

Later that night, Dawson looked up to find Pacey walk in. “What are you doing here?” he asked, realizing his tone was a little hard, but Pacey didn’t seem to notice. 

“Came to pick up some movies,” Pacey said as he scanned the New Release section. “You know, something scary since tomorrow is Friday the 13th and all.” 

Dawson sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I have some good horror movies in my pick section. Carrie, IT, Psycho… all the classics.” 

Pacey grabbed ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’ and walked to the counter with it. “I’ll just get this.” 

Dawson frowned. “Pacey, that movie sucked.” 

“Yeah, but Jennifer Love is in it and, well, let’s be honest, she has great tits.” 

“Well, it’s nice to know you consider movies by content,” Dawson said with a smirk, realizing how much he’d missed Pacey’s friendship and realizing how stubborn he’d been lately. He didn’t want his newfound feelings for Joey to put a wedge between their friendship. And, he had to be honest, he wasn’t really all that threatened by Pacey as far as Joey was concerned. He knew there was no chance in hell Joey would ever feel anything real for Pacey Witter. 

“Yeah, that Kevin Williamson is a genius.” 

“Who?” Dawson asked as he began sifting through some returned videos. 

“Nevermind,” Pacey said. “So, what are you planning for Friday the 13th, Dawson? Corpses falling out of our lockers, plastic fingers strategically placed in our french fries?” 

Dawson sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I haven’t really thought about it,” he said. “My mind’s been on other things lately,” he said, wanting to tell Pacey about his feelings for Joey, but wanting to figure everything out first. 

He was glad Jen had interrupted him because it had given him more time to think things through. He wanted to be sure of his feelings before he even thought of bringing them to Joey’s attention. 

“Alright, man, I gotta go. I’m grounded and only snuck out of the house to run down here.” 

“See ya, Pace,” Dawson said. “Hey, Pace?” he then called out just before Pacey was about to leave. “Maybe the four of us can get together tomorrow night and do a horror movie night, or something. We haven’t done anything just the four of us in a while. It’ll be fun.” 

“Sounds good, man,” Pacey said with a nod. 

“Maybe we can even scare Joey a little,” Dawson said. “You know how easily she scares.” 

Pacey smiled before nodding again. “Sounds like a plan.” 

Dawson smiled back and turned back to his movie when Pacey left, already thinking up ways to scare his friends the next night.


	5. Scared

The next afternoon, Pacey and Joey lazily lounged on the Potter’s porch, enjoying the unseasonably warm weather, their books laying open on their laps. 

“So, let me get this straight,” Joey said as she finished writing in her notebook. “Dawson wants us to get together tonight for some horror movie marathon, just you, me, him and Jen?” 

Pacey nodded as he shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “Yeah, that’s pretty much what I just said,” he replied as he chewed. 

Joey pretended to shudder. “Sounds scary already.” 

Pacey eyed her as she went back to writing. It had surprised him when she’d offered for him to come over after school to work on homework together. He chalked it up to her being lonely since Dawson wasn’t around as much. 

“Are you going?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Joey answered after a beat. “I mean, the idea of being in an enclosed space with Dawson and Jen while they make googly eyes at each other and engage in random smooch fests for two to four hours doesn’t exactly appeal to me.” 

“A simple ‘I don’t know’ would have sufficed.” 

Joey rolled her eyes. 

“Okay, all that aside, consider the fact that you have no life and have nothing better to do on a Friday night,” Pacey said, grabbing another handful of popcorn. 

Joey grabbed the bowl off of him before he could curl his fingers around the intended handful. “And for that, you get no more snacks.” 

Pacey sighed. “Would it make a difference if I said I meant that comment in the nicest way possible?” 

Joey pretended to think about it. “Nope.” She then looked at him sideways as he went back to his own writing. “Are you going?” 

“I was thinking about it,” Pacey said, not looking up as he erased what he had written. “Why?” 

Joey chose her next words carefully. “Because I may consider going if you go. I don’t want to be alone with them.” 

“So, you want it to be like a double date?” 

“I take it back,” Joey said, slumping in her chair. “That’s scary.” 

Pacey smirked. “Don’t lie, Potter. You want me there so you have someone to grab onto when you get scared.” 

“Oh, Pacey, you caught me,” Joey retorted with a sneer. 

She went back to her homework as silence fell around them, suddenly wondering who she would hold on to if she got scared. 

~ 

Dawson smiled when he heard Joey’s laughter on the other side of the door. When the door opened, however, and he saw that Joey had arrived with Pacey and was laughing at something he said, his good mood dissipated. 

“Hey, Dawson,” Joey said after slapping Pacey hard on the arm. 

“Hey,” Dawson intoned, watching as Pacey laughed and rubbed his sore arm. “Did you guys come together?” 

“Yeah,” Joey said as she sat down on her side of the bed. “We were doing homework, and then Bessie had the bright idea to let him stay for dinner.” 

Pacey plopped down in Dawson’s desk chair and instantly went for the model airplane that was sitting there. “You know I can’t pass up free food, no matter how bad it is.” 

“It wasn’t too bad, you scarfed down three helpings.” 

“Yeah, even though it was bad, it doesn’t compare to the slop my mom shoves in my face every night,” Pacey retorted. 

Dawson frowned, once again feeling like a third wheel. He was disappointed, hoping that he’d get Joey alone before Jen and Pacey came over. He never expected her to come with Pacey. 

Joey rolled her eyes at something Pacey said and then looked at Dawson. “Where’s Slutty McSlutterson?” She then made an innocent face. “Oops, I mean Jen.” 

Dawson sighed. “She should be here shortly. And be nice.” 

“Dawson, man, I gotta say,” Pacey began as he stood up and walked to Dawson’s movie collection. “I was a little disappointed today when I didn’t find a corpse in my locker or a finger in my fries. I mean, you’re really slacking on the whole scare tactics this year.” 

“We’re getting a little old for practical jokes, aren’t we?” Dawson asked, trying to hide a smile. 

“I guess so,” Pacey said as he bent down to inspect the movie titles. “So, what’re we-“ He let out a yelp and jumped back in surprise. 

Joey squinted her eyes and then smirked. “Screaming like a little girl over a fake spider, Pace?” 

Dawson laughed, his foul mood forgotten. 

“What fake spider?” Pacey said, squaring his shoulders and playing it cool. “I got a glimpse of Dawson’s picture over there. Scared the crap out of me.” 

“Sure, Pacey. Admit I got you,” Dawson said. 

“You should look into getting reconstructive surgery, D. That forehead of yours is massive, man.” 

“Kind of like your nose,” Joey teased before Dawson could defend himself. 

“And unlike your chest,” Pacey said back, without missing a beat as he picked up a video and inspected it. 

Joey looked down at her chest and frowned, his comment cutting her. But she would never let him know that. 

“Yeah, I guess I am kind of meager in that department, kind of like you in the genitalia department.” 

Dawson listened to their banter, annoyed that he didn’t seem to be included. 

Pacey scoffed. “Please. I’ve had no complaints about my genitalia.” 

“Well, Ms. Jacobs was, like, fifty,“ Joey said. “She probably didn’t have her bifocals on.” 

The door opened and Jen walked in, taking away the opportunity for Pacey to retort. Instead, he sneered at Joey before going back to the videos in his hand. 

“Hey, Jen,” Dawson said with a small smile, glad to have someone there that was on his side. 

“Hey, Dawson,” Jen said as she walked to the bed. She sat down next to him and leaned over to peck him on the cheek. “When I told Grams I was coming over to watch movies all night, she about had a breakdown, but I insisted Pacey and Joey would be here.” 

“What’s the matter, doesn’t your grandmother trust you?” Joey asked with fake sweetness. 

Pacey smirked and Dawson glared at her. 

Jen didn’t know any better, thinking Joey was being nice. “I don’t know, I guess not.” 

“Well, why not?” Joey asked, tucking a chunk of hair behind her ear. She loved watching Jen squirm just as much as she loved watching Pacey squirm. Almost. 

“Let’s get to the movies,” Dawson said, wanting to demolish any chance of an argument. 

“What’s the matter, Dawson? I’m just trying to have a conversation with Jen here,” Joey said with a fake smile in Jen’s direction. “She is an integral part of your life now.” 

The smile slipped from Jen’s face then, finally realizing Joey’s intentions to make her look stupid. 

“Look, Joey,” she began, wanting to tell the other girl off. If this was New York, Joey would have been on the floor with a black eye, but she wasn’t in New York anymore, and she wasn’t that girl anymore. So she bit her tongue. Again. “Let’s just watch a movie.” 

Joey sat back against the headboard and smirked. 

“Hey, man, let’s watch the Mighty Ducks!” Pacey said, holding up the video in excitement. “This movie is classic! So funny.” 

“Are you kidding me?” Dawson said, laughing. “That movie was a poor excuse for a film. It had no depth, no direction-” 

“Yet it’s in your collection,” Pacey muttered. 

“Dawson, it’s a Disney film, what do you expect?” Joey said. “Besides, I thought it was good,” she finished matter-of-factly. “Not every movie has to be life-altering.” 

“You only liked it because you had the hots for Charlie!” Dawson exclaimed. 

Joey’s mouth fell open. She then shrugged. “Well, he was cute.” 

Jen laughed from beside Dawson and reached into the bowl of popcorn. “You know, now that I think about it, Pacey kind of looks like that Charlie kid.” 

Joey squinted her eyes and looked at Pacey. “I don’t see it.” 

“Psh!” Pacey said. “I’m way better looking than that Charlie guy.” 

“Okay, we are not watching Mighty Ducks. Come on, guys, it’s Friday the 13th. We have to watch something scary,” Dawson said. 

“Let’s watch a home movie of yours, Dawson. Those are usually scary,” Pacey joked. 

“The only thing scary around here is your face,” Joey said as grabbed a handful of popcorn. She then looked down when her hand touched something slimy in the bowl. “Ew, Dawson!” she yelled, throwing the offensive fake finger at him. 

“Got ya,” Dawson said, locking eyes with Joey. He smiled softly. 

Joey smiled back before looking away. 

Jen noticed the exchange and shifted uncomfortably. “Just put something in, Pacey.” 

“Bet she says that to a lot of guys,” Joey murmured which earned a death glare from Jen. 

“Texas Chainsaw Massacre?” Pacey asked. 

“No,” Joey said. “Too bloody.” 

“Psycho?” 

“No, too creepy.” 

“Okay, Potter, what are you not scared off?” Pacey asked, irritated. 

“I’m not scared,” Joey defended. “I just don’t feel like watching a movie I’ve seen ten times already.” 

“Hey, check my closet,” Dawson said, “I think there might be some movies lying around in there.” 

Pacey sighed as he made his way to the closet. “Dawson, man, no offense, but you suck at-” He paused mid-sentence and took a surprised step back when a fake corpse fell out of the closet, complete with Joey’s fake head from the movie. 

He caught the corpse, his arms wrapped around its waist and Joey’s fake face staring right into his. 

“Now, that’s scary,” Pacey said. 

~ 

After arguing for a while longer, they settled on Vertigo. Dawson sat on the bed with Jen between his legs leaning back against him. Pacey and Joey had moved to the floor, right in front of the bed. 

“Pacey, move your fat head,” Jen said from the bed, throwing a kernel at him. 

“Well, if you two didn’t hog the bed, I wouldn’t have to sit on the floor,” Pacey retorted. 

“Dawson, your feet stink,” Joey snapped, hitting Dawson’s socked feet with a pillow. 

“Guys, come on,” Dawson whined. “The movie’s starting.” 

The opening credits began to eerie music. “So, um, what’s the movie about, anyway?” Joey asked. 

“Why?” Pacey asked as he leaned over towards her, the blue light from the TV screen dancing across his face as he grinned. “Are you scared?” 

Joey sneered at him. “No, I’m not scared,” she whispered harshly. 

“Good,” Pacey whispered back before getting a hushing from Dawson. “Because I wouldn’t want you to jump in surprise and accidentally hold on to me, or something.” 

“Pacey, if anything you’d be the one I’m running from,” she whispered back. 

Pacey, who was still leaning inches from her, smiled before pulling away. He greedily grabbed popcorn from the bowl sitting on his lap and shoved a handful into his mouth. 

Joey looked away from him with a smirk that looked more disgusted than it was and focused her attention on the movie. After a little while, she started getting into the movie, even taking turns with Pacey grabbing popcorn from the bowl. 

“Scared yet?” Pacey whispered. 

“No,” she whispered back flatly right before a scary part flashed on the screen. She gasped lightly, hating the fact that she was so easily scared. 

Pacey chuckled. “Wuss.” Still, he leaned over a little so that his shoulder barely touched hers. 

“Shut up, Pacey,” Joey muttered, even though his closeness made her feel a little better. 

Just as she reached in to grab more popcorn, Pacey had the same idea and their hands touched. She pulled her hand away from his as if she had touched fire. 

Pacey didn’t look at her. He kept his eyes on the movie as he pulled his hand out of the bowl and then clasped his hands in his lap. 

Joey watched him out of the corner of her eye, watching as his Adam’s apple bobbed nervously. She looked back at the movie, confused by the spark of something that had rushed through her when their hands had touched. 

~ 

The movie ended, the lights came on, and they all stretched and yawned. 

“I should get going,” Jen said as she stood. “It’s getting late and I really don’t want to hear a lecture from Grams tonight on the ramifications of teenaged fornication.” 

“Okay,” Dawson said, feigning disappointment. He was glad that she was leaving, hoping he’d get some alone time with Joey. Finally. 

“Yeah, I gotta get going too,” Pacey said. “My parents think I’m working. I’m grounded and my shift supposedly ended a half an hour ago.” 

Joey smirked. “When aren’t you grounded, Pacey?” 

“When don’t I do something bad?” Pacey countered, holding her gaze longer than intended. 

“Joey?” Dawson said, hope in his voice. “You going to stick around?” 

“Um,” Joey began, trying to think of an excuse, not in the mood to sit and dissect their friendship tonight. “Yeah, I can stay for a bit,” she finally said, unable to think of an excuse quick enough. 

“Walk me out, Pacey?” Jen asked after giving Dawson a quick kiss. 

“Why? You want to pull me into a nearby bush and have your way with me?” Pacey joked, not knowing how much that may be true. 

Dawson scoffed. 

“Chill, Leery,” Pacey said. “It was a joke.”

“All right, see you guys later,” Dawson said. 

“See ya,” Pacey said to Dawson before sneaking a look at Joey. “Sweet dreams, Potter,” he said. “Don’t forget to check under the couch before you go to bed.” 

“Bite me,” Joey retorted. 

“You know, you keep saying that enough, it may come true,” Pacey joked as he slipped his coat on. He held the door open for Jen and gave them another look before closing the door behind them, wondering why he suddenly felt sick at the thought of Dawson and Joey being alone together. 

Pacey and Jen walked in silence until they got to her porch. “Well, Lindley, here we are.” 

Jen turned to him and smiled. “Thank you, Pacey.” 

Pacey shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked on his heels. “Admit it, you were scared and needed big bad me to walk you to your door.” 

Jen laughed. “You caught me, Pacey.” 

Pacey smiled down at her. 

Jen wrapped her arms around herself and looked out towards the creek. “Pacey, you’re the only friend I have here.” 

Pacey laughed. “What’re you talking about? You have Dawson and… well, Dawson.” 

“No,” Jen said. “Joey hates me and Dawson… I don’t even know about him anymore. I mean, at first, everything was great. He treated me nice…”

“He worships the ground you walk on,” Pacey pointed out. 

“He did,” Jen said. She then sighed. “Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but I just don’t think he feels that way about me anymore. I mean, I see the way he looks at Joey and…” 

Pacey nodded and looked down at his feet. “I think everyone sees it but him… and Joey.” 

Jen eyed him. “What’s the point of staying in a relationship because it’s safe and comfortable when you know the other person is in love with someone else? I mean, at what point do you stop fooling yourself and just call it quits?” 

Pacey looked at her, his eyebrows knitting together in a frown. “What are you saying here, Jen? Are you breaking up with Dawson?” 

Jen shrugged as her gaze shifted to Dawson’s house. “I think I have to.” 

Pacey sighed, knowing it would crush his friend. “Why are you telling me this, Lindley?” 

“Like I said, you’re my only friend here.” 

Pacey ran a hand over his face and groaned. “What do you want me to do here? That guy is my best friend. I mean, what’s stopping me from turning around right now, going back up to his room, and telling him everything you just told me?” 

“Because I know you won’t,” Jen said, her voice soft. “Because I know you’re a nice guy and you don’t want to get involved.” 

Pacey sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Jen.” 

“Pacey, I’m going to tell him, okay?” 

“When?” 

“Soon.” 

“He’s going to be crushed,” Pacey said more to himself than to her. “Dawson, he’s an eternal optimist. He lives for this, for romance. You were his dream girl.” 

Jen smiled softly. “Exactly. I was his dream. Joey is his reality.” 

Pacey eyed her, thinking about her words and wondering why he didn’t like them much. 

Jen leaned up and kissed him softly on the cheek, her lips lingering. “Goodnight, Pacey,” she mumbled before turning around and disappearing into the house. 

Pacey sighed before turning back to gaze at Dawson’s house. A big part of him wanted to march right in there and tell Dawson that Jen was planning on crushing his heart. 

Instead, he walked down the steps and headed towards the Witter Wagoneer, once again feeling like the third wheel in a situation he didn’t want to be in. 

~ 

“So, did you like the movie?” Dawson asked, not able to think of anything else to say, which was odd to him, considering they used to talk about everything. 

“It was okay,” Joey answered, tucking hair behind her ear. 

Dawson sighed. “Look, Joey, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.” He then stopped talking when he realized he didn’t know how to say it. “I-“ 

“Just spit it out, Dawson,” Joey said dejectedly. “You’re starting to sound like Pacey, unable to form coherent thoughts.” 

Dawson frowned at the mention of Pacey’s name. “Nevermind,” he said. “Forget it.” 

Joey sighed as she stood up. “Look, Dawson, I’m tired. I’ll just talk to you tomorrow, okay?” 

“Tomorrow, yeah,” Dawson said. He then watched as she ducked out of the window, closing it behind her, but not before letting in a cold draft. 

Joey made her way down the ladder and then began heading across the lawn. She looked over and stopped when she spotted Pacey walking to his jeep. 

She hesitated for only a second before heading over towards him, wrapping her arms around herself as she did so. “Hey.” 

Pacey looked up, slightly taken back to see her. He then sighed. “Hey, Potter, how come you’re not upstairs in Kevin’s bedroom, reliving the Wonder Years?” 

Joey smirked. “I don’t feel like reliving anything right now.” 

“You want a ride?” Pacey asked, exhausted and eager to get home. 

“Sure,” Joey said as she walked around to the passenger side door. “Just don’t kill me.” 

“I can’t promise you anything,” Pacey said as he got in. He turned the heat on and then rubbed his hands together, blowing into them. 

Joey watched him, smirking at the way his hair was sticking up in every which way. “So, tonight was… weird, huh?” 

“You have no idea,” Pacey muttered, thinking about his conversation with Jen. “Jo, can I ask you something?” 

“If it has anything to do with Adam Sandler or foosball, then no.” 

“If someone you considered a friend told you something that you know in your gut you should tell another friend, but the first friend asked you not to tell the other friend, would you tell that friend or keep your word to the first friend therefore not having to hurt the other friend?” 

“Okay, Pacey, I know it’s rare when I understand anything you say, but that made no sense to me at all,” Joey said with a frown. “Can you now speak slowly and enunciate?” 

Pacey sighed as he threw the truck into drive. “Forget it, Potter. You’re useless.” 

“That’s laughable, Pacey. You calling me useless?” 

“Hey, watch it, Potter, or I’ll make your ass walk.” 

“I’ve walked before, Pacey,” Joey retorted. 

“Yeah, but think about all those big, bad, mean monster guys lurking behind every shadow,” Pacey said before sneaking her a look. He smiled when he saw her gazing out of the window at the dark, passing scenery. 

“Just drive.” 

“That’s what I thought.


	6. Wild & Crazy

Joey ducked through Dawson’s window and made sure he was alone first before entering fully. “Hey.” 

Dawson shifted his gaze towards her fleetingly, not wanting to take his eyes off the movie. “Hey.” 

Joey frowned at the television screen as she made her way to her side of the bed. “What’re you watching?” 

“Some Kind of Wonderful. You know, Eric Stoltz and Mary Stuart Masterson?” Dawson answered before finally looking at her. 

Joey laughed through a frown. “Isn’t this an 80s movie?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I thought you hated 80s movies, Dawson, particularly of the John Hughes variety? I thought you said they were too cliched, too cheesy, too-“ 

“They are,” Dawson interjected. “This one is kind of good though.” 

Joey leaned back against the headboard, crossed her arms over her chest, and raised questioning, yet teasing, eyebrows. “And what’s it about, Dawson?” she asked, glad that they seemed to be back to their normal, playful repartee. 

“Well, it’s about this girl, she’s a tomboy named Watts. She’s head-over-heels in love with her guy best friend, but he’s in love with someone else. He doesn’t even throw his best friend a glance because she’s like a sister to him.” 

The smile slowly melted off Joey’s face as she listened. 

“So, he goes after this other girl, this amazing girl, and she’s everything he could ever want in a girl, but only ends up realizing what he wanted was in front of him the whole time, he just didn’t see it,” Dawson finished. 

Joey opened her mouth to speak, not knowing what to say. 

Was it possible that Dawson finally knew of her feelings for him and was using the sappy synopsis of the movie as a clever way to let her know? 

“Pacey recommended it to me,” Dawson added as an afterthought. 

“Pacey recommended this particular movie to you?” 

“He told me it was imperative that I watched it. Even told me to tell you about it, thinking you’d get a kick out of it.” 

Joey’s eyes narrowed as murderous thoughts filled her head. She was going to kill Pacey when she saw him, in the slowest, most painful way possible. 

“So, what are you doing here?” Dawson asked, once again looking back at the movie, apparently still as oblivious as always. “I mean, not that you ever need a reason to be here.” 

Joey tucked her hair behind her ears. “I was bored,” she said. “I came over in the off chance that Jen wouldn’t be attached to your face, and you’d be able to finally talk to me about what’s been bugging you.” 

Dawson let out a huff. He wanted so badly to tell Joey the thoughts he’d been having about her, about them, but he couldn’t find the words no matter how much he thought about them. Besides, he had a girlfriend to think about and he wasn’t sure what he was going to do about that yet either. 

He liked Jen; he did. He liked the way she smelled, the way she looked, the way she glanced into his eyes right before they kissed. He liked the way her small hand fit into his and the way her skirts hugged her in just the right places. She was the epitome of anything he could want in a girl, the very essence of his wet dreams. 

But she wasn’t Joey. 

“Dawson, are you spacing out on me again?” Joey asked, leaning over to wave a hand in front of his face. “Earth to Dawson.” 

Dawson grabbed her hand playfully, and they began wrestling on his bed, much like they always had. He pinned Joey down as per usual; she yelped with laughter right on cue, but something was different this time. 

He stared down at her as their actions stopped, Joey beneath him staring up at him in wide-eyed confusion. 

“Joey,” Dawson mumbled, feeling like he wanted to kiss her right then. He was vaguely aware of voices coming from the movie, of two best friends finally realizing what they meant to each other. 

“Dawson,” Joey mumbled, suddenly feeling uncomfortable under his stare. Finally, Dawson moved off of her and she sat up slowly, confused by current events. 

“What was that?” she asked, her voice breathy. 

“I don’t know,” Dawson mumbled, looking away and running a hand through his hair. 

“Well, you better know in about two seconds,” Joey snapped, her heart thumping in her chest. 

Just then, Gail opened Dawson’s door, unaware of what she was interrupting. “Oh, Joey, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were here. Are you staying for dinner?” 

“Mom, learn how to knock!” Dawson whined. 

“It’s okay and no,” Joey said, standing up, wanting to get away from that room as soon as possible. “I was just going.” 

“Joey,” Dawson called out desperately. “We need to talk about this.” 

“I’ll see you later, Dawson,” Joey called back as she exited out of his window. 

She didn’t remember climbing down the ladder and rushing to her boat. She didn’t remember not going to her house. She didn’t know how or why she ended up where she was, but there she was. 

Screen Play Video was surprisingly empty for a Saturday night, and Pacey was behind the counter, reclining back in his chair, his legs propped on the counter, soft snores falling from his open mouth. 

Joey glared at his sleeping form before picking up a video and slamming it down on the counter. 

“What?!” Pacey exclaimed, jolting awake. 

“Some assistance, please!” she growled as he sleepily rubbed his eyes. 

“Aw, man, Jo! Can’t you see I’m taking a nap?” Pacey asked as he shifted in his seat to get comfortable, preparing to go back to sleep despite his company. 

“You should be working, and you should be counting your lucky stars that I don’t get on the phone with Nellie’s father right now and tell him that, maybe, he should start watching the surveillance tapes once in a while so he can see just what kind of immature, juvenile, dilatory slacker he hired,” Joey ranted in one breath, her anger and confusion getting the best of her. 

Pacey dropped his legs from the counter to the floor and sat forward with a frown. “What the hell crawled up your butt and died?” he asked. 

“You did,” Joey snapped. 

“I would have remembered being up there.” 

“Pacey!” 

“Alright, Jo, what the hell’s the matter with you? Last night I took you home from Dawson’s Fantastic Night of Horrific Fun and we were fine, tonight you’re acting like a complete psycho.” 

Joey rubbed at her face before sighing. “I went to Dawson’s earlier, to hang out, and he was watching this movie.” She looked at him pointedly. 

Pacey sat back in his seat, realization setting in. “A movie, huh?”

“Yeah, a movie! A movie you had so kindly recommended to him. Thanks, by the way,” Joey spat. 

“So I recommended a movie to Dawson? I’m still failing to see why you’re so upset,” Pacey said, trying to hold back a smirk. Oh, he’d known exactly what he was doing when he had suggested that particular cinematic brilliance. 

“Pacey, don’t play with me,” Joey snapped. “You knew damn well what you were doing.” 

Pacey shrugged his shoulders and looked at her sideways, feigning innocence. 

“That movie mirrors my life and you knew Dawson was going to watch it and that I’d be upset!” She slammed the palms of her hands down on the counter. 

“Look, Jo-“ 

“You know what, Pacey, do me a favor and stay out of my life. You know nothing about me, my life, or my problems, so just keep your sick jokes to yourself, because I don’t find them funny at all. It’s all just some big joke to you. You know, maybe if your one and only relationship wasn’t with a woman who was as old as your mom, I’d take your advice on relationships seriously. So, until you find someone your own age, which is highly doubtful, leave me the hell alone.” 

Pacey’s smile faded when he realized she was on the verge of tears. He jumped up from his seat when she turned on her heel and headed towards the door. He lept in front of her and placed his hands on his shoulders. 

“Okay, Joey, how about you tell me now what’s really upsetting you, because I really don’t think some harmless joke I played on you is upsetting you this much, and if it is, you got much bigger problems.” 

Joey angrily brushed at tears that were slipping down her cheeks, not wanting Pacey to see her cry. 

Pacey hunched down a little so that his face was level with hers. “What? Dawson watched the movie and still didn’t realize what an asshat he is?” 

“No,” Joey finally said through a watery sigh. “He almost kissed me.” 

Pacey dropped his hands from her shoulders and took a step back, that piece of information nearly knocking the wind out of him. 

Joey let out a puff of exhaustion and wiped at her face. 

Pacey didn’t know why that detail bothered him so much. For months he watched as Joey wallowed in self misery, just wishing and waiting for Dawson to open his eyes. He should be happy for her, happy for them both, but he wasn’t. He knew the moment Joey and Dawson realized what they felt, all would finally be right in their world, and he’d be left in the dust. 

“What happened?” he willed himself to say, not really wanting to know. 

“We were wrestling around like we always do. He pinned me down to the bed and started tickling me. Suddenly, he just stopped, and he was looking at me… he never looked at me like that. I swear he was about to lean down and kiss me, but Gail walked in.” 

“And what did you do?”

“I freaked out and left,” Joey exclaimed. “I mean, shouldn’t I be happier about this, Pacey?” 

“Why aren’t you?” 

“I… I don’t know! I mean, I’ve wanted this… I’ve wanted this for so long, but there’s Jen. He has a girlfriend and maybe it’s happening all too fast. Or maybe I’m just imagining something that wasn’t even there. Maybe he got sick or something. Maybe I had mistaken his look of nausea for a look of lust.” 

Pacey smiled softly at the sudden change in her tone. “Maybe you just mistook his actual facial features- big forehead, pointed nose, bushy eyebrows- for a look of desire.” 

Joey let out a watery laugh as she wiped at her tears. “Pacey, you have no room to talk about anyone’s eyebrows,” she teased. 

“Look, Jo, you won’t know anything until you talk to him,” Pacey said, trying to be the friend she had come to know in the past few weeks. 

“I can’t talk to him now,” Joey sighed. “It’ll be too weird!” 

“You can’t ignore him forever,” Pacey pointed out. “Maybe you’ll find out that the things you want are the same things he wants. Who knows,” he added sadly, “maybe he’ll finally realize what the rest of us had already known,” he finished, his words holding a deeper meaning than Joey would be able to understand, his words only meaning something to him. 

“I’m sorry I flipped out on you,” Joey said, looking a little embarrassed. 

“Yeah, you did kind of go all crazy psycho chick on me.” 

“Pacey,” Joey chided. 

Pacey threw his hands up defensively. “Hey, I never said that was a bad thing. In fact, it’s kind of hot.” 

Joey rolled her eyes. “You’re deluded.” 

“And you’re a drama queen.” Pacey smiled down at her softly before frowning. “Hey, you really think my eyebrows are bad?” he asked, gingerly reaching up to touch one. 

“Yes.” 

Pacey sighed. “That’s okay, your boobs are still small.” He began walking back towards the counter, Joey in tow. “So, besides near earth-shattering moments, what else do you have planned for this beautiful, Saturday night? Bottle-feeding Alex? Homework? Working on your bitch complex?” 

Joey sighed as she leaned against the counter. She watched as Pacey sorted through some videos. “I don’t know. It’s sad, I’m a perfectly healthy, normal fifteen-year-old girl, and here I am with nothing to do on a Saturday night. I’m pathetic.” 

Pacey nodded in agreement and then laughed when she threw a video case at him. “Hey, watch it, Potter. You break it, you buy it.” He bent down to pick up the case. “Pretty in Pink.” 

Joey groaned. 

“Hey, isn’t this the one where the geeky sidekick best friend is in love with the girl, and she’s completely infatuated with someone else?” 

“Please, Pacey. I really don’t feel like analyzing anymore John Hughes movies tonight.” 

Pacey shrugged and tossed the movie aside. “Ah, it was crap, anyway. She should have ended up with Ducky. It was sad how much he stuck by her and she didn’t even appreciate him.” 

“What’s sad is that you seem to know every John Hughes movie like the back of your hand.” 

“I do have three older sisters,” he defended. 

Joey smirked at him and then laughed when he gave a defeated sigh. 

“You’d be surprised, Potter, I’m quite the romantic.” 

“Romantic wasn’t exactly the adjective I was going for.” She then watched as he began shuffling through more videos. “Let’s do something tonight, Pacey, something wild and crazy. Let’s throw caution to the wind and… and forget about the fact that we have to grow up.” 

Pacey looked at her with an arched brow. “Something wild and crazy, huh?” 

“Something,” Joey said, throwing her hands in the air. “I’m sick of living in a cookie-cutter world, doing what’s expected of me, and waiting for my life to change. I want to forget about everything for one night. Can we do that, please?” 

“Are sex and drugs out of the question?” 

Joey smirked. 

Pacey thoughtfully rubbed at his chin. “Well, what did you have in mind, Potter? You wanna go knock up a couple liquor stores, maybe a few banks?” 

Joey smirked. “I don’t know. Let’s take a road trip or something.” 

“At eight o’clock at night?” Pacey asked, eyeing her warily. 

Joey leaned forward and smirked. “Eight o’clock on a Saturday night. Come on, Pace, don’t tell me you’re all talk and no play?” 

Pacey laughed as he leaned back in his chair and placed his hands at the back of his head. He propped his feet up on the counter. “My shift ends at eight, Potter. Be ready.” 

Joey smirked before pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’m ready.” 

Pacey shook his head as he watched her leave, knowing that she had no idea what she had just agreed to. 

~ 

Bessie frowned when she heard a horn honking and pulled the curtains back. “What’s Pacey doing here?” 

Joey grabbed a flannel shirt and put it on. “We’re going out.” 

Bessie lifted an interested eyebrow. “You and Pacey Witter are going out on a Saturday night? Why does that sound like a date?” 

Joey rolled her eyes as she pulled her hair up into a ponytail. “Don’t even go there. It’s not like that,” she retorted. “We’re just going for a drive.” 

“A drive? A drive to where?” 

Joey shrugged as she opened the door. “Around the block.” 

Bessie sighed, not liking the idea of Pacey and Joey going driving. “Okay, but be home by ten.” 

Joey eyed her. 

“Eleven.” 

“Bess, It’s a Saturday night!” 

“And you’re fifteen. Continue arguing with me and it’ll go back down to ten.” 

Joey scowled. “Fine, I’ll be home by eleven.” She slammed the door shut behind her. It was always amusing to her that Bessie never trusted her when it came to everything else, but when it came to thrusting the life of her baby in Joey’s hands, she was all for it. 

Pacey mumbled a greeting after she hopped into the Witter Wagoneer and slammed the door shut behind her. 

Joey immediately reached forward and turned down the Led Zeppelin song blasting from his stereo. “How can you listen to this crap?” 

Pacey looked at her in horror. “Crap? Led Zeppelin is crap? Oh, poor, poor Joey. Please tell me the current pop trend has not corrupted your mind.” 

Joey rolled her eyes and changed the station to an adult contemporary station. “This is more like it.” 

Pacey listened to the words before turning the music off. “Okay, I can’t listen to that garbage. You, Joey, have a lot to learn.” 

“Whatever,” Joey spat. She then fastened her seatbelt. “So, where are we going?” 

Pacey chuckled. “You’ll see.” 

“Pacey,” Joey warned. 

“Hey, you said you wanted to do something wild and crazy.” 

“Yeah, so why can’t I know where we’re going?” 

“Potter, just sit back, relax, and let yourself be surprised.” 

“I hate surprises, especially surprises from you. Surprises from you usually consist of fake puke and dog poop.” 

“Yeah, well, this surprise is good.” 

“For who, you or me?” 

“Both. Just trust me, Potter, would ya?” 

“Trust you? Trust you! This coming from the guy who used to call me onto my porch and throw water balloons at me. The guy who wrote me a note in the seventh grade, pretending to be Bobby Tanner, who I had a massive crush on, by the way, asking me to the dance?” 

Pacey laughed. “That was pretty funny. You were so crushed when you found out he hadn’t really asked you.” 

Joey crossed her arms over her chest and sulked. “It was mean.” 

“It was classic,” Pacey chuckled before sneaking a playful look in her direction. “Then I asked you to the dance myself to make up for it.” 

Joey shook her head. “Like that made things any better. I think I actually felt worse.” 

Pacey watched as she looked out of the window, her words pouring salt into his already open wound. He remembered that night. He had foolishly expected her to say yes to his invitation to the dance. He had already begged his mom to let him buy a new suit, and he had even planned to buy her flowers, but she had turned him down, telling him she would rather get hit by a truck than go anywhere with him. “Yeah,” he mumbled, gruffly. “Hey, you weren’t so nice to me either, Jo.” 

“What have I ever done to you?” 

“You’re kidding me, right?” Pacey asked, his voice rising comically. “You used to give me the salt instead of the sugar and then watched me as I took the first gulp of the kool-aid. One time, you fell and cut your knee and I went to make sure you were okay and you tripped me and I fell into the creek.” 

Joey shrugged. “It was harmless fun.” 

“I sprained my ankle!” Pacey exclaimed. 

Joey smiled softly. “Okay, so maybe I wasn’t exactly pleasant.” 

Pacey scoffed. “That’s an understatement.” 

Joey continued to eye him for a moment longer before saying, “Truce?” 

“A truce?” Pacey asked as he stopped at a red light. “A truce between Pacey Witter and Joey Potter?” 

Joey tilted her head, smirking. 

“I don’t know if the world is ready for that.” He smiled softly at her, their eyes locking for a moment. He turned his attention back to the street and continued driving when the light turned green. A few blocks later, he pulled to a curb and parked. “Here we are.” 

Joey looked around. “Downtown? Your big idea was to come downtown?” 

Pacey sighed. “No, smartass.” He opened his door and got out. They met on the sidewalk. “This was my big idea,” he said, pointing to a bar. 

Joey looked at the bar. She then turned and frowned at him. “You do realize this is a bar, right?” 

Pacey squinted his eyes and nodded slowly. “Yeah, thanks to the big neon sign.” 

“And you do realize we’re fifteen, right?” 

Pacey placed his hands on her shoulders. “First, calm down. I do know this is a bar and I know we’re fifteen. Second, you said you wanted to do something wild and crazy-“ 

“Wild and crazy like staying out past eleven, not getting arrested for underage drinking!” Joey exclaimed, her arms flying all over. 

“Okay, Jo, we’re not going to get arrested. I’ve been coming here for three months now, they don’t card you. Tamara brought me here.” 

“You know, my fondness for her is growing more and more with every story you tell,” Joey said dryly. 

Pacey rolled his eyes. “She only brought me here once, and I only had one beer.” 

“That makes it so much better.” 

“Okay, I’m going inside because it’s not particularly warm out here. You coming in or walking home?” Pacey asked, blowing air into his cuffed hands. 

Joey eyed the bar, only half of its neon sign lit. Faint laughter and music could be heard behind the rusty metal door. This was different, wild, and especially crazy… everything she had asked for but never expected. 

Kinda like her near kiss with Dawson earlier. 

“Okay,” she finally said, her heart thumping in her chest. “I’m in.” 

~ 

Dawson sighed as he pressed the receiver to his ear, listening to the ringing on the other end. Finally, someone answered and his heart rose to his throat. 

“Hello?” Bessie answered, sounding out of breath. 

“Hey, Bessie, may I speak to Joey?” 

“Dawson?” Bessie asked. “Oh no, Joey’s not here. She went driving with Pacey. She should be home around eleven.” 

“Driving with Pacey?” Dawson asked, his heart falling to his stomach. 

“Do you want me to tell her you called?” 

Dawson gripped the phone tightly, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. “No,” he said flatly. “I’ll just talk to her tomorrow.” 

“Okay, goodnight,” Bessie said before hanging up the phone. 

Dawson stared at the phone before placing the receiver back on its cradle. He laid back down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling, all kinds of scenarios rushing through his head as he thought about the fact that his two best friends were out without him. 

~ 

The bar was filled with cigarette smoke, the old rock music was too loud, and fat lazy older men were lined at the bar, cold drafts placed in front of them. The bar was small, with only five tables and one pool table, which was currently occupied. 

Joey instinctively held onto the sleeve of Pacey’s denim jacket as they made their way further into the joint. They found the only available booth in a back corner and slipped into the empty seats. 

“Isn’t this place great!” Pacey yelled above the music. 

“No!” Joey yelled back as she waved the smoke away from her. She eyed the patrons of the bar, noticing the strange looks they were getting. She leaned across the table. “Pace, maybe we should go. We’re never going to get away with this!” 

“Just wait,” Pacey said before standing up. 

“Where are you going?” Joey hissed, not wanting to be left alone. “Pacey!” she yelled, but he kept walking. She looked around and sank further into her seat. She was regretting her decision to come in with every stare in her direction. 

Pacey returned a few minutes later with two beers in his hands. “Here you go,” he said as he sat down and slid one over to her. 

Joey took the beer and frowned at him. “You mean it was that easy? Pacey, no offense, but it’s obvious you barely hit puberty. How could they not know you’re underage?” 

“Please, the bartender knows me and my family. Thank God she hates all the rest of them,” he said as he downed half his beer in one gulp. 

Joey eyed the bar warily as she opened her own beer. She took a hesitant sip before meeting his eyes across the table. 

Pacey smiled at her before sipping his beer. “Feeling wild and crazy yet?” 

Joey gave him a lopsided grin. “Almost.” 

“My first choice had been late-night skinny-dipping, but I didn’t think you’d be up for that.” 

Joey rolled her eyes and sipped her beer. 

“See, Potter, you just gotta learn to relax sometimes, throw caution to the wind and let loose. Live once in a while. You can’t be scared all the time, you might miss something worthwhile.” 

Joey took another big gulp of her beer as she watched him. 

~ 

A little while later, Joey had almost three beers in her and was feeling more relaxed. She and Pacey had finally gotten hold of the pool table and she was beating him, much to Pacey’s dismay. 

Pacey took another shot and missed it. “I don’t get it,” he exclaimed. “A drunken female is kicking my ass.” 

“I am not drunk, Pacey,” Joey pointed out. “And you’re lucky I don’t kick your ass about that female comment.” She bent down to line up her shot. 

Pacey watched in horror as she made it in. “Okay, I quit.” 

“Witter the Quitter lives on.” 

Pacey sighed at the nickname he had earned in the third grade. “I resent that. I quit one game of kickball during recess and I never lived it down.” 

“Pacey, you got hit in the head with the ball and cried, then you stomped off and quit,” Joey said, lifting her bottle up to her mouth with an amused smirk. 

“Damn that Will Krudski.” 

“Come on, Pace, one more game,” Joey pleaded, starting to feel a little woozy as she finished her third beer. 

“Okay, Potter,” Pacey said as he chalked the end of his stick. “One more game, but there has to be some stakes.” 

“What kind of stakes?” Joey asked hesitantly. 

“If you win, I will be your personal chauffeur for the next week. I’ll take you anywhere you wanna go.” 

Joey placed a hand on her hip and tilted her head, the idea of a personal chauffeur appealing to her. “And if by some small miracle you win?” 

Pacey centered the balls in place. “Then you gotta kiss me.” 

The smirk slipped off Joey’s face, never expecting that to fall from Pacey Witter’s lips. 

Pacey straightened up and smirked at her. “But you won’t have to worry about that right? Since I suck so bad.” 

“Right,” Joey said. 

“Rack 'em, Potter,” he said and watched as she moved around the table to stand in front of the balls. “Hit them balls good.” 

Joey smirked before bending down and breaking the balls, sending them scattering across the table. She then blew on the chalky end of her pool stick. “You’re stripes.” 

Pacey watched her as she lined her shot, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He couldn’t remember a time when he had seen Joey so carefree, so full of life, so fun. She smiled and laughed more tonight than he could remember, and he liked it. 

He was almost sorry he had to beat her. After all, no matter how friendly they had gotten in the past couple of weeks, he wasn’t about to lose to Joey Potter. Besides, he had a wager to win. 

“Nice shot, Jo,” Pacey said as her shot went in. 

“I hope your gas tank is full,” Joey taunted as she made another shot. 

Pacey laughed as he moved towards her and placed a hand on her bare shoulder. She had removed her flannel top almost an hour ago and was only wearing a tank top. “I’ll be back, you want another beer?” 

“Yes, please,” Joey said before making another shot in. 

Pacey left and came back with two more beers, seeing that it was his turn. He leaned down right in front of her and eyed his shot. He got the ball in easily. He turned and eyed her surprised expression. He cleared the table in mere minutes, leaving five of Joey’s balls still on the table. 

Joey stared at him in frustration. 

“Looks like I won.” 

“You played me, Pacey!” she exclaimed. 

Pacey shrugged. “You fell for it. Joey, you’ve known me for almost ten years now. I’m hurt that you don’t know I’m an excellent pool player.” 

Joey scowled. “I hate you.” 

“So, I guess that means you won’t be enjoying our little kiss later?” Pacey asked, leaning on his pool stick. 

“I am not kissing you, Pacey, so get that thought out of your head,” she insisted as she turned and headed back to their table. 

“Come on, Potter, a bet’s a bet!” 

“We never shook on it,” Joey said as they both slid into their seats. She opened her beer and guzzled half of it, hating the way he was looking at her right then. 

Pacey couldn’t remember a time when she had ever looked prettier. Her ponytail was messy, she had a dot of chalk on her left cheek from where he had playfully poked her earlier, and her cheeks were flushed from the alcohol she had consumed. He looked away quickly as he took a chug of his beer. 

“I should get home,” Joey said as she focused her blurry vision on her watch, seeing that it was already almost eleven. 

“Yeah,” Pacey said, disappointed that their night was over already. They left the bar, not having money for a tip, Pacey having spent most of his Screen Play paycheck on drinks, pool, and Joey’s jukebox choices, all of which he didn’t approve of but it had seemed to make her happy. 

They started their walk home, both of them knowing it wouldn’t be wise to drive since Pacey had had almost five drinks himself and was barely walking in a straight line. They walked in silence for a few blocks. 

“I need to sit down,” Joey said, the alcohol finally getting to her. They made their way to a nearby bench and sat down. 

They were sitting so close that their shoulders and knees were touching, but neither seemed to notice. 

Pacey rested his head back and groaned. 

Joey looked at him. “Despite how I’m feeling now, Pace… I had a lot of fun tonight.” 

Pacey lifted his head and looked at her with a faint smile. “I know you did.” 

Joey looked away from his intense stare and looked at the deserted street that lay before them. 

“Joey, do you,” Pacey began and then stopped. “Nevermind.” 

“What?” Joey asked, tucking a chunk of hair behind her ear. 

“Are you just hanging out with me because Dawson has Jen, and you feel left out?” Pacey asked, letting the alcohol get the best of him. He hadn’t realized he had been thinking such things until it came out of his mouth. 

Joey shuffled uncomfortably and stared down at her hands. “I don’t know,” she mumbled. “I guess, yeah.” 

Pacey nodded and looked away, suddenly feeling nauseated. 

“At first, maybe,” she continued. “I mean, Dawson had Jen and didn’t really have time for me anymore so I just gravitated to you, I guess.” She looked at him. “But it’s not like that now, at least… I don’t want it to be.” 

Pacey looked at her, surprised. “You want us to be friends?” 

“Yeah, I mean, aren’t we?” 

Pacey thought about this. “Yeah, I guess we are.” 

Joey looked away, and they were silent for a long time. “Scary, huh?” she said, breaking the tension. 

Pacey chuckled and rubbed a hand over his face. 

“Can I ask you a question, Pace?” 

“Sure, why not,” Pacey said, throwing a hand in the air. “Might as well be honest while our buzz lasts so we can blame it on alcohol in the morning.” 

Joey gnawed on her bottom lip before looking at him in all seriousness. “Do you really think my boobs are small?” 

Pacey looked at her before erupting into laughter, followed by hers. “Sometimes, I don’t know about you, Potter.” 

Joey smiled and leaned back against the bench, feeling content right then with beer in her belly and a friend at her side. 

“And no,” he said after a beat as he rubbed the back of his neck. “They’re actually quite nice.” 

Joey smiled softly as she continued to stare at the street. 

“Come on, Perky Potter, I gotta get you home,” he said before standing up and holding out a hand. 

Joey groaned before slapping her hand into his and standing up. 

“You think you feel bad now, wait until the morning,” Pacey insisted as they started their walk home. 

“Shut up, Pacey,” Joey mumbled. 

Somehow, they managed to find their way home half an hour later. The lights were all out except for the porch light. 

“Well, looks like Bessie passed out, thank God,” Joey said as they quietly walked up the porch steps. “She would kill me right now if she knew we went to a bar.” She turned towards Pacey and watched as he yawned. 

“I gotta head home and crash. I got an early shift tomorrow,” Pacey said as he ran a hand through his hair. 

Joey wrapped her arms around herself and nodded. “Thanks, Pace, for tonight. I really needed it.” 

“Me too,” Pacey said. 

Joey hesitated before asking, “So, do you think I was wild and crazy tonight?” 

Pacey laughed lightly. “Yeah, more than I’ve ever seen you. I just wish you’d be more like that on your own.” 

Joey frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“You know, do something wild, crazy, and spontaneous without having someone to push you to do it,” Pacey answered tiredly. 

“I can be wild and crazy on my own,” Joey defended. “And spontaneous.”

“Sure, Potter,” Pacey teased. 

“Whatever, Pacey,” Joey spat, irritated. 

“It’s okay, Jo, really,” Pacey insisted. “Some people aren’t meant to be wild.” 

Joey didn’t even think as she grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to her. He stumbled against her and their lips met in a soft, wet kiss. She pulled back a few seconds later and opened her eyes to find that his eyes were still closed. 

“Night, Pacey,” she said nonchalantly even though her heart was pounding in her throat. She opened the door and slipped inside, leaving him standing on the empty porch. 

Pacey turned and stared at the closed door, his mind racing to catch up with everything. He then smiled, finally, and headed off the porch to head to his own home. 

Maybe Joey Potter did have a few surprises up her sleeve.


	7. The Kiss

“I come bearing breakfast,” Pacey announced as he walked into Screen Play the next morning, in a better mood than usual, even though he had gotten little sleep the night before, thanks to Joey’s little impromptu kiss. “Actually, I stole a few donuts from Dougie’s dozen, but it’s the thought that counts, right?” 

Dawson barely glanced up from the paperwork he was doing. “Thanks,” he mumbled. 

“Why so down, Dawson?” Pacey asked as he placed the bag of donuts down on the counter and slipped on his smock. 

Dawson finally looked at his best friend, wondering why he was in such a good mood, but then deciding he didn’t want to know. After a beat, he asked, “How was your drive last night with Joey?” 

Pacey’s smile faded. “You heard about that, huh?” 

“Yeah, I tried calling Joey last night and Bessie said she was with you,” Dawson explained as he picked up a few video boxes and began walking towards their intended shelf. 

“Oh yeah,” Pacey began, waving a dismissive hand. “It was a spur-of-the-moment type thing. We were bored, ya know? No big deal.” 

Dawson nodded as he worked. “Didn’t think to stop and ask if maybe I wanted to come, or don’t I figure into your little equation anymore?” 

It suddenly irritated Pacey that Dawson assumed that he and Joey couldn’t do anything without him. “So, Joey and I hung out for one night, what’s the big deal, D?” he asked as he walked around the counter and sat down. 

“It’s not a big deal,” Dawson lied. “It would just be nice to be included sometimes.” 

Pacey didn’t miss the flat tone to Dawson’s voice. “So, it’s dropped then, right?” 

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Dawson retorted, going back to his work. 

Pacey sighed and grabbed the bag of donuts, wondering if he was still in the mood to share. 

Just then, Jen came walking in, a movie in her hand. She seemed to pause slightly when she locked eyes with Pacey. She then regained her composure and stopped next to Dawson. 

“Hey, you,” Dawson said, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m returning the movie you lent me the other night,” Jen said, handing the movie to him. 

“You mean the movie I lent you two weeks ago?” Dawson asked, amused. 

“Yeah, somehow it got pushed under my bed. Maybe it was from the sheer force of suckage the movie radiated.” 

Dawson’s jaw practically dropped. “Are you suggesting The Goonies sucked?” 

“Majorly,” Jen answered, not afraid of Dawson’s wrath. 

“Uh oh,” Pacey muttered under his breath as he claimed his seat behind the counter. He leaned back in his chair and prepared to watch the show. 

“Jen, how could you say that?” Dawson nearly squealed. “What’s not to like about it? Aside from the fact that Spielberg wrote it, it had a treasure hunt, secret caves-“ 

“Booby traps,” Pacey chimed in. “Can’t forget the booby traps.” 

“Booby traps, Sloth!” Dawson finished. “It’s a classic children’s adventure years ahead of its time. It’s brilliant.” 

“Dawson, you officially scare me,” Jen teased. She then turned serious. “Um, what are you doing later tonight?” 

“After work I have to head to the library for a bit, but then I’ll be home. Why?” Dawson asked, staring down at the cover of his beloved movie. 

“There’s something I need to talk to you about,” she replied. 

“Okay,” Dawson said with a smile. “I’ll be there.” He leaned down and kissed Jen quickly on the lips. 

“Alright, see you then,” Jen said before throwing a quick glance at Pacey, both of them knowing exactly what she had to talk to Dawson about. 

Pacey decided to have a little fun when he and Dawson were alone. He thought it was funny that he knew something about Joey and Jen that Dawson didn’t know. 

Finally, the sidekick gets the upper hand. 

“So, you have any idea what she wants to talk to you about?” Pacey asked. 

Dawson shrugged as he straightened a movie display. “No.” 

Pacey sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and nodded his head. “You, uh, do anything interesting last night?” 

Dawson froze, thinking back to his near-kiss with Joey. No, Pacey couldn’t know about that. Joey wouldn’t tell him that. 

Pacey slowly smiled at Dawson’s stiff posture. 

Dawson turned to Pacey and eyed him warily. “No, why?” 

Pacey shrugged. “No reason.” He chuckled to himself when Dawson went back to his work. Man, he loved how oblivious Dawson was sometimes. 

~ 

“Joey, table six needs their drinks!” Bessie yelled. 

Joey rolled her eyes but continued on her way. She dropped table eight’s order off before heading towards Bessie. “Bessie, you fail to notice that we have fifteen full tables and I am one person.” 

Bessie sighed as she went over receipts. “Can’t handle it?” 

“I can handle it just fine without you breathing down my neck,” Joey retorted as she placed table six’s drink orders on her tray. She turned around quickly and nearly ran into a passing customer, spilling a diet Coke down the front of her as she did so. 

She was about to explode. 

“Bessie,” she snapped through gritted teeth, on the verge of tears. Not only was Bessie overworking her, but she was feeling the ramifications from her night of drinking from the night before. Her head was pounding, her stomach hurt, and her annoyance tolerance was at an all-time low. 

“Fine, go take a ten-minute break,” Bessie said with a sigh. “But I need you back, we’re getting swamped!” 

“Gee, you think?” Joey snapped as she took off her apron and threw it on the counter. She weaved her way through customers and headed towards the only empty table in the place. She slumped down in the chair and laid her throbbing head down on folded arms. 

“Having a bad day?” 

Joey’s head snapped up at the sound of Dawson’s voice. “Dawson.” 

Dawson smiled warmly as he sat down across from her. He then looked around the busy restaurant. “Wow, you guys are busy.” 

“Keen eye, Dawson,” Joey said dryly as she eyed him, the events from the night before still fresh in her mind. She knew she would have to face Dawson eventually, but she never thought he’d make the first move, especially so soon. “What’re you doing here?” 

“I’m on break from the video store. I’m working with Pacey today, so naturally, I’m doing all the work. I needed to get out,” Dawson explained. 

Joey nodded, suddenly feeling guilty at the mention of Pacey’s name, almost as if Dawson could sense what had happened between the two of them the night before; the kiss. A kiss she hadn’t thought about doing but a kiss that had kept her awake most of the night thinking about. 

Funny how that worked. 

What the hell had she been thinking kissing Pacey like that? Granted, he had won the pool game, and he had been teasing her about not being spontaneous enough, and they had been having such a great time. She chalked it up to harmless fun, an impulse that was better left in the past. 

Dawson sighed, and she knew what was coming. “Joey, I don’t want things to be weird between us.” 

Joey tucked a chunk of hair behind her ear. “Me neither,” she replied, which was the truth. She didn’t want some almost-kiss to ruin their friendship, because she knew Dawson hadn’t meant it; he couldn’t have. It was another one of those damned sudden impulses. 

“Good, so friends?” Dawson asked, having decided to take back the almost-kiss he and Joey had almost had the night before. He knew it was for the best because he still wasn’t sure about everything, about his feelings for Joey or Jen. He wanted to be sure before he did anything drastic and the last thing he wanted to do was scare Joey away. 

“Friends,” Joey replied with a half-smile, slightly relieved and only a little disappointed. 

“I better get going,” Dawson said as he stood up, “before Pacey burns the place down.” 

“He’s probably sleeping, so I think you’re safe,” Joey replied with a soft smile. 

Dawson smiled back before leaving. 

Joey sighed as she watched after him, knowing she was in the clear with one kiss, but still had to face another. 

When had boys become so complicated? 

~ 

When Joey was walking home later that night, her ten-hour shift finally over, Pacey rode up next to her on his bike. 

“Oh, look it’s ET.” 

Pacey looked down at his red hoodie and sighed. “I’m a glutton for punishment.” He hopped off his bike and began walking it alongside Joey. “What’re you doing tonight?” 

“Well, let’s see, I’m not going on any more drinking binges with you, that’s for sure,” Joey said matter-of-factly. 

“I wasn’t going to suggest that,” Pacey answered. “I wouldn’t want you going all crazy and kissing me again.” 

And there it was; the mention of the kiss in the form of a joke, Pacey-style. 

Joey couldn’t help the edges of her mouth curling upwards. She bent her head and stared down at her feet as she walked. 

Pacey smiled as he watched her, and that was the end of that. The kiss wouldn’t be mentioned again. Unless, maybe, she wanted to mention it again… 

“So, what were you going to suggest, Pacey?” Joey asked, her arm bumping against his briefly as they walked. 

“Guess who’s joining the Miss Windjammer Pageant?” Pacey asked, stopping and puffing his chest out. 

Joey eyed him. “Someone with half a brain and absolutely no morals?” 

“No,” Pacey said. “Me.” 

“Isn’t that what I just said?” 

“Haha.” 

Joey laughed at his affronted expression. “You’re joking, right? You’re joining the Miss Windjammer Pageant?” 

“Yes,” Pacey answered. “Sign-ups are tomorrow and I will need you tonight to help me with some things.” 

They continued walking again. “Pacey, you realize it’s called the Miss Windjammer Pageant, don’t you? Now unless you have something between your legs that I’m unaware of…” 

Pacey grinned at her suggestively. 

Joey rolled her eyes. “Are you delusional? You can’t sign up for Miss Windjammer!” 

Pacey frowned. “Why can’t I?” he asked, his voice comically rising. 

“Okay, let me put this in terms only you can understand,” Joey said. “Pageant for girl, you boy.” 

“Who says pageants can only be for girls, huh?” Pacey asked. “Why can’t a male get the chance of winning a thousand bucks and the title of being the fairest in the land? I have talent, I have style and grace!” 

Joey shook her head, knowing there was no point in arguing with Pacey once he had his mind set on something. “Well, I, for one, want to be there when you make a fool of yourself.” 

“They can’t turn me down, that’s sexual discrimination.” 

“When did you start using big words?” 

Pacey pinched her cheek. “You’re too cute, Potter, but seriously, I really need the cash. The quarter or two they throw at me at Screen Play isn’t cutting it, especially since I want to save up to get out of my Pop’s house.” 

Joey sighed. “Fine, I’ll do it. I have nothing better to do.” 

“Hey, maybe I’ll even give you a cut of my winnings. Ten percent?” 

Joey smirked. “I won’t hold my breath.” 

“Why’s that, Potter?” 

“Because if, by some slim chance, you are allowed to enter, you’d never win,” Joey said matter-of-factly. “Your calves are too big and your boobs aren’t big enough.” 

Pacey laughed and playfully grabbed her ponytail and shook it. “Way to ruin a guy’s self-esteem, Jo.” 

~ 

Dawson looked up from Law & Order when Jen came walking in. He smiled softly, slightly annoyed that she hadn’t bothered knocking. “Hey.” 

“Hey,” Jen said with a small smile. “I can’t stay long, Grams is dragging me to Bingo.” 

“Oh, okay,” Dawson said, surprised that he wasn’t that disappointed. There was a time, not too long ago, weeks ago in fact, where all he wanted to do was spend time with the girl in front of him, all he wanted to do was kiss her, hold her hand. 

“Dawson, we need to talk,” Jen said, her voice soft. 

Dawson nodded and turned the television off, giving her his full attention. 

Jen slowly walked to the bed and sat down. She chose her words carefully, not wanting to hurt him. After all, she did care about Dawson, just not enough to stay and watch him love somebody else. 

“Jen, what is it?” Dawson asked, his tone suddenly serious. “It’s something bad, isn’t it?” 

Jen looked at him, her eyes sad. 

“It is, isn’t it?” 

“Dawson-“ 

“Jen, just tell me.” 

“Dawson, things haven’t been the same between us lately. We’ve changed… something’s changed.” 

“No,” Dawson said, finding himself arguing the fact even though he knew it was true. He had felt the change for weeks. Suddenly, he realized what he had with Jen had been a fantasy and when that fantasy he had built in his head came true and he got her, he didn’t want it anymore. 

He didn’t want her anymore. 

“You know it, too. You feel it. Open your eyes. We’re not good for each other, we never were. I was lonely in a new place, and you were looking for someone so you could be their boy adventure. But I’m okay now and… you’re somebody else’s boy adventure now.” 

Dawson frowned, not knowing what she meant by that. 

“We’re okay now, Dawson, we don’t need each other anymore,” Jen said, her voice cracking slightly. She hated breakups, no matter how right they were. 

“You think we were together because we needed each other?” Dawson asked, his voice sad. “That’s the only reason?” 

“No, it’s not the only reason, but-“ 

“But what, Jen?” 

“Dawson, open your eyes,” Jen said, wanting to take his head, shake it, and scream it to him. “You don’t want me, you never did. You wanted the fantasy of me. You want her, the real her.” 

“Her?” Dawson asked. “Jen?” 

“I have to go, Dawson,” Jen said, turning to leave. 

Dawson stood up. “Jen, you can’t leave like this. This can’t end this way, it can’t be over.” 

Jen turned back to him. “It is. It’s time to go back to reality, Dawson.” 

Dawson stood there and watched as she left the room, closing the door behind her, ending the fantasy. 

~ 

The coffee table was scattered with, according to Pacey, the four food groups; Oreos, Doritos, Twizzlers, and Ho-Hos. The radio was turned to an alternative rock station, low enough not to wake Alexander, and they were reclined back on the couch. 

“Okay, so you can’t sing, you can’t dance,” Joey said, counting off each option on her fingers. “What can you do?” 

Pacey rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I’ve been told I’m good at sex.” 

Joey whacked him on the head with a throw pillow. “Moron. I somehow don’t think the judges would be too pleased to find you fornicating on their stage.” 

Pacey sighed as he thoughtfully chewed on a Twizzler. 

“Can you tap dance?” Joey asked, trying not to smile. 

“Oh yeah, let me just run on home and get my tapping shoes.” 

“Magic?” 

“I can burp the alphabet.” 

“Charming. Ballet?” 

“That’s more Dougie’s forte.” 

Joey sighed and threw her hands in the air. “Pacey, I can’t help you. How do you ever expect to win this thing if you don’t even know what you’re good at?” 

“Oh wait, I am good at cunnilingus.” 

Joey frowned. “What’s that?” 

Pacey smiled. “What me to show you?” 

“Tell me what it is first.” 

“Let’s just say you’d be a very happy girl afterward.” 

“Pacey,” Joey warned. 

“You’re such a prude.” 

“And you’re a pig.” 

Pacey held the end of his Twizzler to his mouth and flicked the end with his tongue. 

Joey watched him, feigning disgust although she was vaguely interested. “I feel sorry for that Twizzler.” 

Pacey shrugged before biting into it. “Your loss, but just remember… the offer’s always on the table.” 

Joey opened her mouth to retort but was interrupted when the doorbell rang. She groaned as she stood up, her muscles aching from sitting so long. 

Pacey grabbed a handful of Doritos, admiring her ass as she headed towards the door. Yeah, she would definitely be a happy girl afterward. 

“Pacey, quit looking at my ass… and your tongue will never get anywhere near me,” Joey retorted without even looking back as she opened the door. 

The look on Dawson’s face showed that he had heard the comment. “Hey,” he said hesitantly. 

“Dawson,” Joey said, immediately blushing from embarrassment. “We, uh, we were just fooling around. I mean, we weren’t actually fooling around. We were joking around.” 

Dawson looked inside to find Pacey lounging on the couch as if he owned the place. “Pacey’s here,” he stated rather than asked. 

“Yeah,” Joey said, scrambling for an explanation, feeling she needed one. She knew how left out Dawson felt those days, and she knew this only made it worse. “You wanna come in?” 

Dawson thought about it, wondering what he had been interrupting. Since when did Pacey and Joey hang out in the Potter living room with Dave Matthews playing in the background? 

“Uh, I was hoping you’d be alone.” 

“Oh, well, come in,” Joey insisted. “It’s only me and Pacey… and Alex, of course. Bessie and Bodie went out for the night.” 

“Okay,” Dawson said as he stepped inside. 

“Hey, D,” Pacey said, secretly disappointed that Dawson had arrived. He and Joey had been having a good time. He knew the jokes were over now that Dawson was there. Dawson never seemed to get their jokes. 

“Pacey,” Dawson greeted, nodding his head curtly. He hated the way Pacey was sprawled out, a handful of chips in his hand, his feet propped on the coffee table, as if he belonged there. 

“Pacey, um, thinks he can join the Miss Windjammer Pageant,” Joey explained, wanting to break the tension. She laughed. “Ridiculous, huh?” 

“Yeah… ridiculous,” Dawson said morosely. 

“What’s ridiculous will be you when you’re on your knees after I win, apologizing,” Pacey said to Joey as he chomped on his chips. 

“In your dreams, Witter.” 

“Every night.” 

“Joey, I really need to talk to you,” Dawson said impatiently. “Alone.” 

Joey saw the desperation in his eyes and couldn’t deny him that favor. She glanced over at Pacey. “Alright, let’s go in the kitchen.” 

Pacey watched as Dawson and Joey headed towards the kitchen, the smile slipping from his face. He wasn’t great at math, but knowing Jen had most likely dumped Dawson and now he wanted to talk to Joey alone, he could put two and two together… and he didn’t think he would like the outcome very much. 

“What’s wrong?” Joey asked once they were alone in the kitchen. 

Dawson ran a hand through his hair. He wanted to cry, scream, throw a fit, anything. “Jen dumped me,” he finally blurted. 

The news surprised Joey. She definitely had not been expecting that. Jen and Dawson breaking up was something she had been waiting for, ever since the two had started dating. She didn’t actually think it would happen, not this soon at least. 

“I’m sorry, Dawson,” was all she could think to say because right then, she didn’t know quite how she felt about it. A part of her was glad, knowing Dawson and Jen weren’t good for each other. Another part was relieved because she no longer had to fight for Dawson’s attention. Another part, the confusing part, was that she was scared. Scared of what, she didn’t know. 

“I just… I don’t know what happened,” Dawson said, his voice catching. “I thought we were doing okay. I mean, things weren’t great, but they were okay.” 

Joey pulled Dawson into a hug. “I really am sorry, Dawson,” she said, and she was. She was sorry he was hurting. 

Dawson hugged her back tight and, suddenly, he didn’t feel so bad anymore. He took in her scent, a scent that had always been so familiar but was suddenly so new and exciting. 

Joey pulled back and looked at him, surprised at how intently he was looking at her. 

“I guess I should have known things were going to end sooner or later,” Dawson said, his voice softer as he stared down at her. “I knew things were different, things were changing, I just wasn’t sure why that was.” 

Joey stared back at him, unable to speak or look away. For so long she had wanted this, she had wanted Dawson to look at her like this, to talk to her like this, to hold her like this. Now, it didn’t seem right. It seemed forced. Wrong.

“Dawson-“ 

“I know now, Joey. I was so stupid, so blind. I didn’t see it… I didn’t see what had been in front of me this whole time.” 

“You-“ 

“You’ve been there, Joey, through everything. You’re my best friend, my soul mate, my inspiration. You know me better than anyone.” 

“Dawson, we-“ 

“When I’m with you, everything just seems to fit, and I never realized why that was.” He reached up and touched her cheek gingerly with the back of his hand. “I… I love you, Joey.” 

Those four words hit Joey like a mack truck, stealing her breath away, in not the best way. For so long she wanted to hear that coming from him, but not like that; not after being dumped. She stepped away from him then, suddenly angry. 

“Dawson, what’re you doing?” 

Dawson looked as if she had slapped him across the face. “What?” 

“Jen dumps you and you suddenly come running to me confessing your love?” Joey exclaimed. “I don’t buy it, Dawson,” she said, her voice shaking. 

“No, Joey, it’s not because Jen dumped me. It’s what tore Jen and me apart, in the first place. My feelings for you.” 

“Stop saying that,” Joey demanded. “Dawson, I suggest you leave right now before anything else is said and done, and I may consider forgiving you in the morning.” 

“Joey-“ 

“God, I can’t believe you, Dawson! How could you-“ 

Dawson stepped forward and cupped his hands around her face. He tilted her mouth up towards his, kissing her. 

Pacey stood in the kitchen's doorway unnoticed and watched as Dawson and Joey shared their first kiss. Something inside of him broke right then, and he knew why he was so scared of Dawson and Joey finally realizing their feelings for one another. It wasn’t because he wouldn’t have Dawson anymore. It was because he wouldn’t have Joey anymore. 

He thought back over the past few weeks, all the time they had spent together laughing, talking, having fun, and he realized right then that it had meant nothing to her. He was simply a stopover until Dawson figured out what he wanted. 

He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked out of the Potter house, closing the door silently behind him, leaving behind the half-eaten snacks they had shared, the music they had listened to and critiqued, the couch they had sat on, occasionally hitting each other with couch cushions. She had laughed like he’d never heard her laugh before. 

But it had all been an act, an evening to get her mind off Dawson. 

And he had fallen for it. 

He’d fallen for her. 

~ 

Joey pulled away from Dawson seconds after he had kissed her. She touched her forehead to his. She had always imagined what it would be like kissing Dawson. It had always been something like kissing her prince; the kiss being perfect and magical, everything falling into place and then they would live happily-ever-after. 

The kiss definitely didn’t live up to the fantasy. His kiss was too sloppy, his breath wasn’t exactly minty-fresh, and a chunk of her hair had gotten caught in the middle of their mouths when he had pulled her in so quickly. And, on top of that, it had been like kissing a brother, or maybe a second cousin twice removed, but awkward still. 

She pulled away and looked up at him. “Dawson.” 

“Joey,” Dawson replied and leaned down to kiss her again. He was surprised when she pulled away. 

“What was that?” 

“A kiss,” Dawson replied. She realized his eyes were crossed as he looked down at her. Or had they always been like that? 

“Dawson, you and I don’t… we don’t just kiss,” Joey stammered. 

“Joey, I meant what I said,” Dawson replied. “I love you.” 

Joey pulled away from him and turned her back to him. She walked over to the counter and leaned against it, wondering what the hell she would do now. What do you do when the fantasy turns out to be crap and you want your best friend back, but he just told you he loved you? 

She suddenly found the whole thing amusing. She had wanted Dawson for so long. She had imagined what it would be like for Dawson to want her. She had cried over it, lost sleep over it, agonized over it until it consumed her life. Now that it was in her reach, she didn’t want it. 

Funny how one kiss could change everything you’d thought you knew. 

“Now would be a good time for you to say something,” Dawson said, breaking the silence. 

Joey finally turned to him, willing herself to invoke all of those feelings that had been so strong, the feeling of being head-over-heels ass-backward in love with him, but she couldn’t. All she saw was the reality; Dawson, her best friend. 

Dawson’s face fell, reading her expression like an open book. “I always knew what you were thinking without having to ask,” he said sullenly. 

Joey knew that wasn’t true. If it was, he would have known how she felt before this. “Dawson,” she said, not wanting to break his heart. She wondered if anything would be the same after this. “I’m so sorry.” 

The situation seemed surreal to her, and she wondered if she was living in a dream. Here she was, turning Dawson down. 

“It’s Pacey, isn’t it?” Dawson asked, his voice taking on an accusatory tone. 

Joey frowned. “What? Pacey? No. What’re you talking about?” 

“Nothing. Forget it,” Dawson snapped. “I’m gonna go.” He turned to leave the kitchen. 

“Dawson, don’t go like this,” Joey pleaded as she followed him. She instantly realized Pacey wasn’t there anymore. 

“Look, Joey,” Dawson said, turning to face her once they reached the door. “I can’t be here right now.” 

“Just let me know you’re gonna be okay, Dawson. You’re my best friend and I don’t want you to be hurt,” Joey rambled, her voice sympathetic. 

Dawson scoffed. “It’s a little late for that,” he said. 

Joey watched as the door was closed in her face. She let out a heavy breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding. She walked over to the couch and plopped down, eyeing the vast array of goodies in front of her. An old Hootie song played in the background. He sang about heartache, regret, and longing. 

Joey got up and turned the radio to a different station, a happier station, before resuming her seat on the couch, suddenly feeling alone. 

~ 

Pacey wandered into Screen Play, intent on grabbing a movie to watch since he had nothing better to do anymore. It surprised him to see that Jen had the same idea. 

“Lindley?” 

Jen looked up from the video she was surveying and smiled when she saw who had spoken her name. “Witter?” 

“So this is where the lonely souls come to dwell?” 

“It would appear so,” Jen said, placing the movie back on the shelf. She turned to him, shoving her hands inside her coat pockets. “I broke up with Dawson earlier. It was easier than I expected,” she said. “Probably because we both knew it was coming.” 

Pacey nodded as he ran a hand through his hair, deciding not to tell Jen that Dawson wasn’t heartbroken but moving on to the next victim. 

“And why are you lonely?” Jen asked. “Where’s Joey?” 

“What makes you assume I’d be with Joey?” Pacey asked, slightly irritated. 

“Well, you two have been spending a lot of time together lately,” Jen replied. “It’s been getting under some people’s skin.” 

“Whose, Dawson’s?” Pacey retorted as he picked up his usual rentals; the classic Majors: Major Payne and Major League 2. 

“Dawson’s,” Jen answered, eyeing him. “And mine.” 

Pacey looked at her as the words registered. Their eyes locked. “Yours?” 

Jen smiled softly, telling him all he needed to know with a look. 

Before either of them knew what was happening, their movie rentals were forgotten, and they were in the backseat of the Witter Wagoneer, their tongues tangling, and their hands groping. 

Jen was finally getting what she had been so curious about, and Pacey was getting what he wanted; the chance to forget about and move on from Joey Potter.


	8. About Last Night

When Joey arrived at school the next morning, laden with Monday morning blues, she walked toward Dawson’s locker, hoping he’d be there so she could talk to him, to make sure he was okay; make sure they were okay.

He wasn’t there. 

She sighed before heading towards her own locker. She had been up the entire night, replaying in her head everything that had happened in her kitchen the night before. It all still seemed so surreal to her. 

Dawson kissed her finally, after months and months of pining, and she had felt nothing. There were no fireworks, no butterflies in her stomach, no popping of the leg. 

Nothing. 

How can they go back after that? How can they go back to the way things were when he had laid his heart on the line and she denied him? 

She lazily dialed her combination and opened up her locker. Movement from the corner of her eye caught her attention, and she looked down the hallway to Jen’s locker. 

Pacey was standing there with Jen, their heads bent together in what looked to be an intimate conversation. 

Joey frowned as she watched them, wondering what Pacey and Jen could be so secretive about. She slammed her locker shut, wondering why it even bothered her. 

~ 

Pacey hesitated before walking up to Jen, the events of night’s past still fresh on his mind, with the hickey above his nipple to remind him. He cleared his throat when he was behind her. 

Jen turned to him, smiling coyly. “Hey.” 

“Hey,” Pacey said, tucking his books under his arm as he shifted his weight to his other foot. “So, uh, how are you?” 

Jen laughed. “We can cut the pleasantries, Pacey. Do you wanna talk about last night?” 

“Well, that depends.” 

“On?” 

“If you wanna talk about last night.” 

Jen shut her locker and turned fully towards him, hugging her books to her chest. “There’s nothing much to talk about. It was simply two friends making out in the backseat of a car.” 

“Oh, Lindley, you’re adorable. You are,” Pacey said. “But you know in our screwed-up little universe it’s much more than that.” 

“How so?” 

“For one, what we did last night? We never did that before. For two, we have to consider Dawson’s feelings,” Pacey said, motioning with his free hand. 

“And Joey’s?” Jen asked without thinking. 

“Joey has nothing to do with this,” Pacey insisted dryly. 

Jen sighed as she ran a hand through her hair. She watched as Joey walked past them down the hallway, not bothering to look in their direction. She looked back at Pacey to find him waiting for an answer. 

“Okay, what do you think about last night?” Jen asked. 

“I asked you first,” Pacey answered. 

He had never expected to spend almost an hour in the backseat of his jeep making out with Jen Lindley, rounding third base and almost making it to home plate, though the thought had crossed his mind before. He was, after all, a hot-blooded teenaged boy. It had almost felt like he had been betraying Dawson, even though he knew Dawson wasn’t exactly heartbroken. Still, he wanted to consider his feelings. 

“Okay, Pacey, I’m gonna be honest with you here,” Jen began. “I maybe sorta wanted that to happen.” 

Pacey sighed, even though it didn’t surprise him. He’d sometimes caught Jen giving him the eye. “I can’t say I blame you there, Lindley.” 

Jen playfully hit him on the arm. “Your turn.” 

“Well, you do give good tongue,” Pacey answered, giving her a smile. “And hand.” 

Jen smirked. “So, what do we do now?” 

“What do you wanna do now?” 

“I asked you first,” Jen said. 

“I hate this game,” Pacey answered. 

Jen eyed him. “I wouldn’t exactly mind for it to continue. We’re two highly sexual, lonely souls in need of some good company.” 

Pacey nodded as he thoughtfully rubbed his chin. “You do make an interesting point.” 

He suddenly thought about Joey and the fact that she was probably looking for Dawson at that moment, a giddy smile on her face after getting what she had always wanted. 

He pushed through his sadness and turned his attention back to Jen. “Can I get back to you on that?” 

Jen nodded with a slight smile. “Sure thing, Pace.” 

“I like those choice of words.” 

“I knew you would,” Jen said with a flirty smile. 

Pacey smiled and ruffled her hair before brushing past her. “I’ll see ya.” 

Jen turned and watched after him, that not being the goodbye she had been expecting or hoping for. 

~ 

Joey walked into the cafeteria and surveyed the crowd for Dawson, itching to talk to him. She didn’t find him, so she headed towards an empty table. 

She sat down swiftly and began shaking her apple juice as her eyes skimmed the crowd, suddenly wondering where Pacey was. She hadn’t seen him since he had been talking to Jen that morning, which was odd considering he made it a point to show up randomly and annoy her. 

“Hey, do you mind if I sit with you?” 

Joey looked up and was surprised to find a kid she didn’t know, had never even seen before, standing in front of her, a backward baseball cap on his head and a coy smile plastered on his face. It wasn’t often people came up to her asking to sit with her. 

Especially cute guys. 

“Um, go ahead,” Joey said, not in the mood to converse with strangers, but she figured it would be better than eating alone. 

“Thanks,” the guy said, falling into the seat across from her. He dropped his backpack on the ground beside him and immediately grabbed his fork. “I’m starving.” 

Joey eyed him, finding him peculiar, but then again she found everyone peculiar. “Do I know you?” she asked, wondering if she sounded rude but then didn’t care. 

“Oh,” the guy said around a mouthful of food. He dropped his fork and reached over to hold out his hand. “I’m Jack McPhee,” he said. 

Joey shook his hand. “Joey Potter.” 

“Nice to meet you, Joey,” Jack said with a smile as he picked his fork back up. “I just moved down here from Providence.” 

“Oh, so you’re the new guy I’ve been hearing about all morning,” Joey inquired. 

Jack shuddered. “I hate that term,” he said. “I’ve heard it about twenty times today. Why can’t I be just Jack? I hate labels.” 

“Okay, Just Jack,” Joey said, suddenly feeling at ease with the boy. She liked his sense of humor and quirkiness.

“So, hear anything bad?” Jack asked as he dug into his mashed potatoes. 

“Just that you’re from Rhode Island and you have a sister,” Joey said. 

“Yeah, Andie,” he said. “She should be here soon.” 

Joey nodded as she sipped her juice. She looked up in time to see Pacey enter the lunchroom, a tray in his hands as he studied the crowd. 

Jack followed her stare with a mouthful of food. “Is that your boyfriend?” 

Joey laughed. “Hardly. Pain in my ass is more like it.” 

Jack nodded, wondering if he should tell her the look on her face seconds before told him otherwise. Instead, he figured he didn’t know this girl well enough, and he didn’t want to scare her off. 

Pacey spotted her and walked over, hesitating slightly when he noticed the guy sitting with her. 

Who the hell was this schmuck? 

“Hey,” he said when he reached them. Wait, this wasn’t right. Shouldn’t Joey be sitting with Dawson? 

“Hey,” Joey said, eyeing him. “Pacey, this is Jack. He’s new here. Jack, this is Pacey, the proverbial thorn in my side.” 

Pacey sat down in the vacant seat and reluctantly shook Jack’s hand. Who wore their baseball cap backward? What was with this guy? 

“Hey, what happened to you last night?” Joey asked despite their company. “You just left without saying goodbye.” 

Pacey shrugged. “Three’s a crowd. My presence was no longer needed,” he mumbled before eyeing Jack warily, who was none the wiser as he continued ravishing his food. 

Joey frowned, wondering why he was being so distant. “Oh,” she said, looking down at her untouched food. 

“You gonna eat that?” Jack asked, pointing towards her hot dog. 

Joey pushed her tray towards Jack. “By all means, be my guest.” 

Just then, a pretty blond stopped next to their table; a pretty blond that, Joey noticed, caught Pacey’s attention immediately. 

“Andie, hey,” Jack said. 

Andie smiled as she held her books against her chest. “Nice to see you’ve made some friends, Jack,” she said, her eyes lingering on Pacey a little longer than they had on Joey. 

Joey rolled her eyes as she watched Pacey grin at her. Well, she thought, maybe she should give him some credit, at least the girl was his age. 

Pacey pushed the chair next to him out, motioning for Andie to sit down. 

“Thank you,” Andie said, her voice bubbly. “What a gentleman.” 

Joey scoffed before sipping her juice and then smiled sweetly when Pacey shot her a look. 

“This is my sister, Andie,” Jack said. “Andie, this is Joey and Petey.” 

“Pacey,” Pacey corrected with a hint of irritation in his voice. 

“Pacey,” Andie singsonged. “I like it, it’s different.” 

“That’s Pacey,” Joey chimed in. “Different.” 

Pacey frowned at her, wondering what her problem was. Shouldn’t she be in a way better mood thanks to her one and only soulmate finally returning her feelings? 

“Someone obviously didn’t get laid last night despite the prerequisite foreplay,” Pacey muttered under his breath as he chewed on a fry. 

Joey frowned. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” she asked, her tone hard. Had Pacey seen something he wasn’t supposed to see or heard something that shouldn’t have been heard? 

“You’re a smart girl, Jo, I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” Pacey tossed back. 

Jack looked between them with raised eyebrows as he held a fry to his mouth in midair. “Should we leave you two alone?” he asked. 

“No,” Pacey and Joey said at the same time. 

Jack and Andie shared a look before they all went back to their food in silence. 

~ 

Later that afternoon, Joey walked into Screen Play and was surprised to find that Pacey was doing work. 

“Okay, Pace, what was your problem earlier?” 

Pacey barely glanced up from the movies he was rearranging. “What do you mean?” he snapped. 

“I’m talking about the major stick you’ve had up your butt all day,” Joey corrected. 

“You mean the one that’s usually shoved up your butt?” 

“How mature.“ Joey sneered. “Can we just have an adult conversation for once?” 

Shortly after their blowout at lunch, Pacey had excused himself and left, leaving behind an uncomfortable silence, in which Jack and Andie then left. To top all of that off, she hadn’t seen Dawson, so their friendship still hung in the balance, and she ran into Pacey later on that day during school and he had completely brushed her off. 

Pacey sighed before heading towards the counter to take his seat. He ran a hand over his face. “Jo, I’d really rather not do this now.” 

Joey crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re not getting off the hook that easy, Witter. What’s going on with you? Last night, everything was good.” 

And it had been. She was having a great time lounging around with Pacey, listening to old songs and pigging out, even gossiping a little. 

Today, he acted as if he wanted nothing to do with her. 

“Why are you even here?” Pacey asked, narrowing his eyes. “Shouldn’t you be over at Dawson’s right now playing house?” 

Suddenly, Joey knew exactly what was wrong with him. “What are you talking about?” 

Pacey sighed. “Jo, I may joke around with you, but I know you’re not that daft.” He watched as she eyed him, waiting. “Let’s just say I witnessed something I probably shouldn’t have witnessed in your kitchen last night.” When she frowned, he added, “A little tongue hockey action?” 

“Pacey,” Joey began, feeling the need to explain it to him; how she had pulled away from the kiss seconds after it started, how she had felt nothing, how she and Dawson were far from being a couple. She didn’t even know if they still had a friendship. 

Just then Abby Morgan walked in, making Joey’s day worse. 

“Oh, look, it’s Sam and Diane.” 

“Great,” Pacey muttered under his breath. “Sorry, Abby. No animals allowed.” 

Abby smirked at Pacey. “That’s funny, considering they hired a dog to work for them.” 

“Hey, don’t talk about Dawson while he’s not here. Have some respect,” Pacey shot back, even though he knew damn well she was talking about him. 

Abby rolled her eyes as she headed towards the New Release section. “I’m done tossing one-liners with you, Witter. I wouldn’t want to stoop to your level.” 

“That’s funny, Abby,” Pacey replied. “I heard stooping was what you were good at.” 

Abby made a sound, something between disgust and defeat. She then looked at Joey. “So, Joey, did you see the new guy? Isn’t he yummy?” she then paused. “Oh, wait, I forgot I was talking to a lesbian.” 

“Go to hell, Abby,” Joey snapped. 

“You guys are lame,” Abby said with a laugh before leaving without even renting a movie. Sometimes Pacey thought she showed up simply to start trouble. 

Joey looked back at Pacey. “I swear she’s Satan’s spawn.” 

“Well, according to you, that would make her my sister,” Pacey said, and they both finally smiled, the tension practically gone between them. 

Joey sighed. “Look, Pace, what you saw in the kitchen last night, it’s not what it looked like.” 

“Jo, you don’t have to explain anything to me,” Pacey assured. “It’s between you and Dawson. I have nothing to do with it.” 

“I know,” Joey said, wondering why she even bothered explaining it at all. 

Pacey nodded and looked around, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. 

“You wanna know what happened, anyway,” Joey stated, knowing he was waiting. 

“Oh yeah,” Pacey said, nodding his head. “I mean, I’ve been around for all the buildup, I wanna know how it finally ended.” 

“That’s exactly what happened,” Joey said, tucking a chunk of hair behind her ear. “It ended before it even began.” 

Pacey frowned, not expecting that. “What? You and Dawson didn’t confess your love and go sailing off into the sunset?” 

Joey smirked. “Hardly. It was more like he confessed his love, I turned him down cold, and he left through my front door.” 

Pacey rubbed his chin, trying to piece it all together. “Let me get this straight; the boy you’ve been in love with since either of us can remember finally kissed you and you turned him down?” 

Joey nodded. 

“Well, okay then.” Pacey sat back in his chair, not knowing what to say or think. She didn’t look particularly heartbroken about it. Wait, why not? “Can you now explain to me why you turned Dawson down?” 

“I just didn’t feel it,” Joey said, burying her face in her hands and sighing. “God, I am such an idiot. I spent so much time and energy on wanting him, I didn’t stop to think that maybe I didn’t actually want him, that maybe I just thought I did. I always envisioned the kiss, but I never really thought past it.” 

Pacey nodded, listening. 

“If I would have truly sat back and thought about it, I would have known we wouldn’t have worked out. We know each other too well, everything is comfortable, safe and familiar, nothing is new and exciting. I should never have let him kiss me.” She stopped rambling and looked at him. “It was like kissing a brother.” 

“Ouch,” Pacey said. He then stood up. 

Joey wiped at a tear that was making its slow descent down her cheek. She didn’t want Pacey to see her cry. “It’s just, I know I hurt him, and I don’t think anything’s gonna be the same after this. He probably hates me.” 

Pacey sighed as he stopped in front of her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and hunched down a few inches so they were at eye level. 

“Dawson doesn’t hate you, Jo. Yeah, he’s probably a little hurt right now, but you two are gonna be fine.” Before he knew what he was doing, he pulled her in for a hug. “C’mere.” 

It was his first time hugging her, which was strange considering they’d known each other since kindergarten. 

Joey reluctantly wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him back, needing the comfort right then; needing someone to tell her everything was going to be okay, even if it was Pacey. She buried her face against his chest and sighed.

Just then, the bell chimed above the door and they pulled apart quickly as if they were guilty of something. When they saw it was Dawson standing in the doorway, the guiltiness intensified. 

“Dawson,” Joey spoke first, surprised to see him. “I was just about to stop by your house to talk to you.” 

“Had to make a stop first?” Dawson asked, his eyes briefly focusing on Pacey before looking back at Joey. 

“I was here renting a movie,” Joey said, hating having to lie to him. 

Dawson looked at her, knowing when she was lying but decided not to press the issue. “I have to start my shift now,” he said, averting his eyes to the floor. “So I can’t talk.” He brushed past her and headed towards the back of the video store. 

Pacey ran a hand through his hair. “Talk about bad timing.” 

Joey looked at him, her eyes sad. “I gotta go,” she said, turning and heading towards the door, feeling on the verge of tears at how heartless Dawson had seemed. 

No, they weren’t going to be okay, and her little hug with Pacey had helped nothing. 

“See ya, Jo,” Pacey called out as the glass door shut. He sighed before walking back towards the counter just as Dawson came out of the backroom. 

“Look, Dawson-“ 

“Save it, Pacey,” Dawson said with a sigh. “I’m not in the mood.” He then looked at his best friend. “And I’m assuming Joey already filled you in on everything, so you don’t have to bother asking why.” 

Pacey looked at him with a blank expression. 

“She did, didn’t she?“ Dawson asked, his breath hitching. “She told you?” 

“Dawson, man-“ 

“Alright, Pacey, what’s going on between you two?” Dawson asked. “As my two best friends, I have a right to know if there’s something going on.” 

“Dawson, there’s nothing going on between me and Joey,” Pacey assured. “We’re just friends.” 

“Right,” Dawson said with a huff. 

“Look, D, I’m sorry you’re hurting, but don’t take this out on me,” Pacey said, getting angry. Every time Dawson had a problem, it was always someone else’s fault and not his own… or Joey’s. “I can’t control what she does, Dawson, any more than you can.” 

“Yeah, but you can have an influence on what she does, Pacey,” Dawson bit back. 

Pacey frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Suddenly you’re her best friend, hanging at her house, listening to music, suddenly you’re her confidante. Since when does she tell you things? Since when do I walk into work to find the two of you in the middle of an embrace?” 

“Maybe since your head became lodged up Jen’s ass,” Pacey snapped. “Look, Dawson, I’m sorry things played out this way and I’m sorry you feel like you’re losing Joey, but it’s not because of me. Joey and I are friends, Dawson, whether you like it or not. I suggest you accept it and, while you’re at it, get over yourself.” 

Dawson watched as Pacey walked around the counter and sat down, reaching over to turn on the small TV propped on the counter. He scoffed and looked away. 

~ 

Joey wiped at the table angrily, cursing whoever had squirted ketchup all over the place. 

“Joey?” 

Joey looked up, blowing a stray chunk of hair out of her sweaty face, and saw Jack standing there. “Jack?” she asked, smiling through a frown. 

“Hey,” Jack said with a laugh. “You work here?” 

“More like I’m a slave here,” Joey said with a sigh. “My family owns this place,” she then added. “What’re you doing here? Do you need a menu?” 

“No,” Jack said. “I’m actually here for an interview. I’m looking for Becky.” 

“Bessie,” Joey corrected. “She’s my sister. I’ll go get her for you.” 

“Thanks,” Jack said, smiling at her. 

Joey smiled back, thinking he had a nice smile. She turned and went in search of her older sister. She then thought about what a small world it was, Jack applying at the Ice House of all places but, then again, it was Capeside. 

~ 

Pacey knocked on the door before taking a step back. He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels as he waited for the door to open. It was well past nine o’clock, and he prayed to God Mrs. Ryan didn’t answer the door and scold him for showing up at such an unreasonable hour. 

The door opened, and he was glad to see Jen, regardless of the news he had to tell her. 

“Pacey, hey, what’re you doing here?” Jen asked as she stepped onto the porch, closing the door behind her. She then noticed the look on his face. After a beat, she asked, “You come bearing bad news, huh?” 

Pacey sighed and rubbed at his eye before continuing. “Look, I know I’m probably gonna end up regretting this, turning down a sexy vixen such as yourself, but… I just can’t do it, no matter how tempting it sounds.” 

Jen wrapped her arms around herself and nodded, looking disappointed. She absentmindedly looked towards Dawson’s house before looking back at him. “He is your best friend, Pacey, and I understand. It just sucks.” 

Pacey nodded and placed his hand on her shoulder. “He is my best friend, no matter how big of an asshat he is, and I don’t want to betray him like that. There’s, um, one more thing. Someone, uh, opened my eyes up to something today. That maybe before acting, you should take a step back and look at the big picture, not just what you think you might want.” 

Jen watched him, listening. 

“Because what you think you might want might be the opposite and it could be too late before you realize that,” Pacey finished. “So you don’t want me, Jen. I know I’m unbelievably sexy and my ass is to die for, but you don’t want me, you only think you do. And I don’t want to hurt other people and then find out it was all for nothing.” 

Jen sighed and ran a hand through her curls. “Maybe you’re right, Pacey,” she said. “We never would have worked out. You talk way too much.” 

Pacey laughed, wondering briefly if he was making a mistake. After all, Jen was beautiful, smart, funny; she just wasn’t for him. He pulled her into a friendly hug. 

“At least we got one fun night out of it,” he said with a chuckle. 

“Sure you don’t wanna make it two?” Jen joked. 

Pacey pulled away and chuckled. “That’s just wrong.” 

~ 

Joey climbed up the ladder, surprised to see that it was still there. She tested the window, seeing that it wasn’t locked and took that as a good sign. She ducked into Dawson’s bedroom. 

Dawson didn’t bother looking away from the model airplane he was painting. 

Joey stood there, her thumbs looped through her belt loops. “Hey, Dawson.” 

“Hey,” Dawson said, not looking up. 

“Do you want me to leave?” Joey asked. 

“Do whatever you want,” Dawson intoned. 

Joey sighed and turned back towards the window, her eyes watering with unshed tears. 

“I just don’t get it, Joey,” Dawson finally said and watched as she stopped before ducking out of the window. “I thought I was what you wanted.” 

Joey slowly turned around to face him. “You were, Dawson, for so long.” 

“Then what changed?” Dawson asked, his model forgotten. “How could you want me one minute and not the next? I just don’t get it.” 

Joey tucked her hair behind her ears, trying to find the right words. She knew she was treading on dangerous ground. “It’s complicated, Dawson.” 

“That doesn’t answer my question.” 

“I don’t know what to say,” Joey said, her voice quivering. “I don’t know what changed, or why it changed, it just did. For so long, Dawson, all I wanted was you, all I dreamt about was you. All I ever wanted was for you to look at me like you looked at Jen.” 

Dawson looked away from her, his own eyes watering. 

“I finally got what I wanted. You kissed me, Dawson.” 

“And it wasn’t what you expected, right?” Dawson asked, his voice soft, still unable to look at her. “You realized you didn’t want me.” 

Joey was crying. “I’m so sorry, Dawson. I wish I could have felt something, I want nothing more than to have felt something when you kissed me, but you can’t force yourself to feel something that isn’t there.” 

Dawson finally looked at her. 

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled before turning to the window once again. 

“I didn’t feel it either, Joey,” he blurted. 

Joey froze, his words sinking in. She turned back to look at him, her cheeks stained with tears. She was suddenly filled with something like relief. “What?” 

“I’m not gonna lie, Joey, and say I haven’t been feeling certain things towards you. I finally saw you in a different light and it confused me. I started pulling away from Jen because a part of me wanted to explore those feelings. I kissed you, Joey, not just because it was something I wanted, but I thought you wanted it, too.” 

Joey wiped at her cheeks. “What are we supposed to do now?” she asked, her voice small. “How can we move past all of this?” 

Dawson sighed and leaned back in his chair. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.” 

Joey walked over to the bed and sat down. “Can we watch a movie or something? I wanna escape reality for a bit.” 

Dawson nodded and stood up. “I think that can be arranged.” 

Joey forced a small smile and looked down at her hands. 

If Dawson, the guy she had always thought was her destiny, wasn’t the one for her, then who was?


	9. Confrontations

The next morning, Dawson rounded the corner, already late for his first-period class. He ran headfirst into someone and books went flying, papers scattering across the hall, making his morning even worse. 

Already, he had woken up late, his toothbrush had fallen in the toilet, and he realized he’d forgotten to do his English assignment. And this was just icing on the cake. 

“Dawson,” Jen said, which was the first word she had said to him since their breakup. 

Dawson looked at her, filled with anger and, surprisingly, regret. He made a noise somewhere between a sigh and a grunt before bending down to collect his books. 

Jen bent down with him and began helping him gather his books. “Aren’t you ever going to talk to me again?” she asked. 

Dawson remained silent as he went about his business, cursing his shaky hands and wanting the moment to be over with. 

“I’ve been trying to call you,” Jen continued as she collected her own books. “I even stopped by yesterday and your mom said-” 

“Maybe you should learn to take a hint,” Dawson interrupted before standing up. He shot her one last, emotionless look before brushing past her and heading down the hallway. 

Jen watched after him with a sigh. 

Just then, Pacey came up from behind her, having witnessed the whole thing. “I take it he’s not taking the breakup well?” 

Jen turned to him, looking anything but happy. “Has he said anything about me?” 

Pacey sighed as they started heading down the hallway. He was slightly surprised that they had fallen back into their platonic routine, unscathed by recent events. 

“Dawson doesn’t exactly spill his guts to me anymore,” he answered. “And when he does, it’s about-” he paused, mentally kicking himself for being such a tactless ass. 

“It’s about Joey, right?” Jen finished for him. “God, he is such an ass, making me feel like dirt when we both know I was right to break things off. I just beat him to the punch.” 

“I’ve been friends with Dawson for ten years now, and I’ve stopped trying to figure out how his mind works,” Pacey said with a shrug. His smile then slipped off his face as his eyes narrowed down the hallway. 

Jen followed his stare and saw Joey standing at her locker with a guy she’d never seen. “Who’s that with Joey?” 

“That would be John, Jack, Jake,” Pacey said with a shrug. “Who the hell cares what his name is. He’s new and, apparently, a new friend of Joey’s.” 

Jen eyed him, knowing jealousy when she saw it but deciding not to call him out on it. She decided it was more fun that way. “He’s cute,” she said. “They’d make a cute couple.” 

Pacey scoffed and made a face. “Please, the guy is lame.” 

They continued walking until they reached Joey and John, Jack, Jake, whatever. 

Joey stopped talking when she realized they had company. Her eyes immediately went to Jen, wondering what kind of nerve she had coming to converse with her after only days of breaking up with Dawson. 

“Hey, kids,” Pacey said. 

“Hey,” Joey said, shooting Pacey a look. 

Pacey ignored it. “Aren’t you gonna introduce Jen to your new friend, Potter?” 

Joey tucked a chunk of hair behind her ear, uncomfortable with the whole situation. “I really have to get to class,” she mumbled before walking away, leaving the three of them staring after her. 

“I’m Jack,” Jack interjected, holding his hand out to Jen. 

Jen smiled back at him as she shook his hand, realizing how cute he was up close. “I’m Jen. Nice to meet you.” She then looked at Pacey. “I think Joey hates me.” 

“When hasn’t Joey hated you?” Pacey asked as he hooked his thumbs through the straps of his backpack. “Well, hate to leave you kids alone, but I have to get to class.” 

“Since when do you care about being on time to class?” Jen asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Lindley, I’m hurt,” Pacey said as he began walking backward, a hand clutched to his chest. 

“So, you’re the new kid, huh?” Jen asked when they were alone. 

“Yep, that’s me,” Jack said. 

“Welcome to hell.” 

~ 

Pacey walked into the lunchroom and surveyed the crowd. There was no Joey to be found. He sighed and walked into the masses, trying to find a place to sit and eat. 

He spotted Andie, the only friendly face in the crowd, and made his way over to her. 

“Would a lovely lady such as yourself like some company?” Pacey asked, finding it slightly odd that she had her face buried in a book during lunchtime. 

Andie looked up and grinned. “I don’t mind at all.” 

Pacey slid into an empty chair and let his backpack fall to the ground. “What’re you reading?” he asked, not really caring but not knowing what else to say. 

“Lord of the Flies.” 

“What class is that for?” Pacey asked. 

“No class. I’m reading it for fun,” Andie answered bubbly. 

Pacey forced a smile and then rolled his eyes when she looked away. He leaned against the table on crossed arms. “So, Andie, how’s Capeside treating you so far?” 

Andie looked up and locked her eyes with his, taken back by how intense his eyes were. “Right now, I’d say perfectly,” she said with a small smile. 

Pacey smiled back, thinking maybe he could get used to her; strange, weird book obsession aside. After all, Pacey Witter wasn’t one to give up getting to know a beautiful stranger. 

Just then, Jack came walking over. 

Pacey sighed, silently wondering if the guy was stalking him. 

Seriously, were there like ten of him? 

“Hey,” Jack said as he took the empty seat. His eyes immediately went to Pacey, wondering what the guy was doing talking to his sister. 

“Oh crap,” Andie barked, standing up and grabbing her books. “I have to go to the computer room to finish up something for my English paper, I completely forgot. I’ll see you guys later.” 

Pacey watched in disbelief as Andie left, hurrying through the crowd, leaving him and Jack alone. 

“That’s Andie for you,” Jack said as he bit into his hamburger. “It’s all about school with her.” 

Pacey forced a chuckle as he bit into his own burger, trying to think of a polite way to leave. 

“So,” Jack began, shifting slightly in his seat. “What’s up with Joey?” 

Pacey thoughtfully chewed on his burger. “I don’t really know,” he said, “I’m still trying to figure that one out.” 

Jack frowned, thinking the kid had an odd sense of humor. “No, I mean… is she seeing anyone?” 

Pacey nearly choked on his food. “What?” 

Jack eyed him strangely. His face then softened. “Oh, is there something going on between you two? If so, let me know. I don’t want to step on your toes.” 

Pacey thought about that, thinking the guy had some nerve. “Uh, no, there’s nothing going on between us.” 

“No boyfriend?” 

“No,” Pacey answered, suddenly wondering why his appetite was gone, which was rare for him. 

Why the hell did this guy want to know about Joey? 

“So, I’m in the clear to ask her out?” 

“No,” Pacey answered quickly. 

“No?” Jack asked, frowning. “Why not?” 

“She’s uh,” Pacey began, struggling to come up with an excuse. He didn’t want this tool asking Joey out. “She’s a… she’s a lesbian.” 

Jack’s frown deepened. “A lesbian?” 

“Yeah, you know… she enjoys the womanly goods,” Pacey explained, trying to keep a straight face. “She’s heading down a one-way street. She prefers melons over hotdogs.” 

“Oh,” Jack said, mulling that over in his head. “Oh, I didn’t know.” 

They continued to eat in silence, Jack not noticing the smile Pacey was trying to hold back. 

Damn, new kids were so gullible. 

~ 

Pacey walked into the Ice House and surveyed the crowd before finding Joey near the back, taking orders. He slipped into an empty booth and waited. 

As expected, Joey gave him a scowl when she noticed him sitting there. 

“Only you have the ability to make my day more miserable. Pacey, can’t you see I’m busy here? I have enough things to do without having to wait on your picky ass.” 

“My ass is anything but picky. Perky maybe, but not picky,” He then realized she was in no joking manner. “What? A growing boy’s gotta eat.” 

“There’s a dumpster out back,” Joey retorted. She sighed before sliding into the seat across from him, looking around first to make sure Bessie wasn’t around. 

Pacey looked at her, thinking how cute she was when she was all sweaty and frustrated. “Where were you today? I was looking for you at lunch.” 

“Yeah, they let me use the computer room to finish up an essay for Peterson,” Joey answered, brushing her hair away from her face. “So,” she began, shifting a little in her seat, “what are you and Jen all chummy about? I would have figured since she just broke up with your best friend, you’d show some more consideration on his part.” 

Pacey smirked as he leaned forward. “Come on, Jo. You and I both know Dawson wasn’t exactly heartbroken over losing Jen.” 

Joey shrugged. “Still.” 

“He talked to Tamara after we broke up.” 

“She was his teacher!” 

“Still,” Pacey said. “Besides, Dawson and I aren’t exactly best friends nowadays.” 

“Why do you say that?” 

“Well, he thinks there’s something going on between-” He paused, thinking better of it. “Nevermind.” 

“What?” Joey asked, frowning. 

“He thinks something’s happening between… me and you,” Pacey finished with a chuckle. 

Joey sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Yeah, he’s mentioned something about that to me, too. It’s ridiculous.” 

“Absurd,” Pacey added. 

“Laughable.” 

“I mean, you and me… we can’t stand each other. We annoy each other. In fact, it’s what we do best,” he said matter-of-factly. 

“Right,” Joey said with a curt nod of her head. 

“I mean, the idea of me liking you or you liking me is just…“ 

“Unfathomable,” Joey finished. “We’re just friends and, sometimes, even that’s a stretch.” 

“Glad we’re on the same page, Potter.” 

Joey nodded and stood up. “I better get back to work before Bessie sees me. She’s already in a foul mood.” 

“See ya,” Pacey said. He waited for a beat before calling out, “Hey, Jo?” 

Joey turned around impatiently. 

“Nice ass.” 

The corner of her mouth twitched upward, and she shook her head before going on her way. 

The smile slipped from his face as he realized they weren’t on the same page at all. 

He then watched as Jack came out from the kitchen, wearing an apron and carrying a bin for dirty dishes. 

Pacey rubbed a hand down his face and sighed, any bit of a good mood he’d had that day vanishing. 

~ 

Dawson looked up from his homework when someone knocked on his door. “Come in,” he said, figuring it was his mother announcing dinner. 

“Hey,” Jen said, standing awkwardly in the doorway. 

Dawson sighed when he saw who his company was. “I told my mom I wasn’t accepting visitors,” he intoned. 

“Dawson, we need to talk,” Jen began. 

“You gave up that option the other night when you broke up with me.” 

“Just because we’re not together, doesn’t mean we can’t be friends,” Jen pointed out. “I never thought you’d act this way towards me. I thought you were better than this.” 

“I thought you were better than that, too, Jen,” Dawson replied, knowing he sounded like a little kid but not caring. 

“Dawson, what are you upset about?” Jen asked, “That I broke up with you, or that I broke up with you first, because we both know it was gonna happen, eventually.” 

“I’m mad about a lot of things, Jen,” Dawson answered, his voice flat, wanting the last word. “Things I’d rather not discuss right now. Just go.”

Jen’s face fell. “Pacey told you, didn’t he?” 

Dawson looked up at her, those words confusing him more than anything. “What?” he asked. He then cleared his throat. “Told me what?” 

“Nothing,” Jen blurted, realizing her mistake. 

“You implied Pacey told me something, Jen. Told me what?” Dawson asked, his voice quivering slightly, hoping it had nothing to do with Joey. 

Jen sat down on the edge of Dawson’s bed. 

“Jen, your silence speaks volumes.”

“Dawson, we didn’t mean for it to happen,” Jen finally said. “And I want to be honest with you because I care about you and our friendship.” 

“What are you talking about?” Dawson asked, frowning. 

“Don’t blame Pacey, it was my fault. I… I kissed him first and we… “ 

“You and Pacey kissed?” Dawson exclaimed. He stood up from his desk chair. “When?” 

Jen stood up as well. “Dawson-“ 

“Jen, when?” Dawson demanded. 

“A few days ago… after we broke up.” 

Dawson let out a sound, something between a scoff and a laugh. He ran a hand through his hair as anger and betrayal coursed through him. Here he’d thought Pacey was going after Joey and the whole time he had wanted Jen. 

“Man, it didn’t take him long to move in on you, did it?” 

“I kissed him first, Dawson.” 

“Jen, your words don’t provide me any solace!” Dawson yelled. “I can’t believe this. I mean, I expected it from you, but not from him.” 

Jen’s heart sank to the pit of her stomach at Dawson’s harsh words. “What do you mean you expected it from me?” 

Dawson turned to her, his face unreadable. “I want you to leave.” 

“Dawson.” 

“Jen, leave right now before I say something I might regret later,” Dawson answered, turning away from her and burying his hands in his hair. 

Jen stared at his back before turning and leaving, shutting his bedroom door behind her. 

Dawson flung himself backwards on his bed and stared up at the ceiling, unshed tears burning his eyes. 

He laid there for what seemed like forever, trying to piece everything together in his head, trying to recall times when Pacey and Jen had seemed strange to him. All this time he had thought something was going on with Pacey and Joey… 

Suddenly, he was angry; angry at Pacey for defying his trust, angry at Jen for moving on so quickly after dumping him, angry at himself for being so blind to it all. 

He stood up and left his room, intent on confronting his so-called best friend. 

~ 

Joey slumped into a nearby chair and brushed her hair away from her forehead. Every bone in her body ached, including ones she never even realized she had. 

Jack came over and plopped down in the chair next to hers. “Is it always this busy?” he asked. 

“You thought today was busy?” Joey asked with a smirk. “Today was a slow day.” 

Jack groaned and shifted the backward cap on his head. 

Joey laughed and stretched out her legs. “You did good today, aside from the ten glasses you broke and the salt you spilled all over the place.” 

“Yeah, I guess I should have mentioned in my application that I wasn’t the most coordinated person in the world.” 

Joey laughed at that. 

Jack eyed her, wondering what he could say to her. He wasn’t exactly Casanova when it came to girls. 

“So, um, I was talking to Pacey earlier.” 

“So I guess it’s safe to assume you’re now missing some brain cells?” Joey asked with a laugh. 

Jack laughed back, deciding he liked her laugh. In fact, he liked everything about her. “He, uh, told me about your situation. I just wanted to let you know I’m completely cool with it. I mean, whatever floats your boat, whatever tickles your fancy, you know? Right on.” He pumped his fist in the air for emphasis. 

Joey frowned. “Jack, what are you talking about? What exactly did Pacey tell you?” 

Jack shifted uncomfortably. “You know, about your… situation.” 

“You obviously don’t know Pacey well enough yet. Never, ever believe anything that comes out of Pacey Witter’s mouth.” 

“Wait, so you’re not a lesbian?” 

Joey’s mouth dropped. “What? No!” She then slumped in her seat. “I’m gonna kill him,” she mumbled. 

“Wait, you don’t like girls?” 

“No.” 

“Well… good.” 

“Why is that good?” Joey asked, amused. 

“Because I may just have to ask you out sometime,” Jack answered with a hint of a smile. 

Joey stared back at him, completely surprised. It wasn’t every day a cute boy wanted to ask her out. He was clumsy, goofy, and a bit odd, but cute. 

“Would that be okay?” Jack asked, suddenly serious. 

Joey looked away from him, not knowing what to say. Sure, he seemed like a nice guy, funny and smart, but something was holding her back. “Hey, anything’s possible,” she said with a nervous laugh. 

Jack nodded, seeming nervous himself. “I guess I’ll take that.” 

Joey tossed him a small smile before looking down at her hands. 

~ 

Joey walked into Screen Play and walked up to the counter. “So, aside from me being an Ice Queen, a prude, and a wench, I’m a lesbian now, huh?” 

Pacey looked up from the comic book he was reading, narrowing his eyes. “Oh, you heard about that, huh?” 

Joey rolled her eyes. “You’re lucky we’re in a well-lit area, Witter.” 

“Why? Because you might be tempted to throw me down and ravish me?” 

“More like throw you down and strangle you,” Joey corrected. “Why in the world would you tell Jack I’m a lesbian? It’s bad enough he’s bound to hear about my past, I don’t need him thinking I’m butch.” 

“Well, the way you dress probably clued him in before I even said anything,” Pacey said, motioning towards the flannel shirt she wore over a tank top. 

“You have no right critiquing the way anyone dresses.” 

“I don’t like how you dress, you don’t like how I dress. I say we just get naked and solve both our problems.” 

“I’d rather chew on razor blades,” Joey said with a scowl. “And, trust me, I’m far from a lesbian, Pacey.” 

“Are you saying you like male genitalia?” Pacey asked, loving how much of a prude she was. 

Oh, he’d love to show her what she was missing. 

Just as Joey was about to retort, the bell above the door chimed. 

“Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Pacey said when he saw Dawson heading towards the counter. Instead of stopping in front of it, Dawson walked around and shoved Pacey, nearly knocking him off his stool. 

“Dawson, what the hell!” he exclaimed, regaining his balance. 

Dawson stared at him, his dark eyebrows knitted together, and his nostrils flaring. 

“Come on, Pacey, you’re man enough to move in on my girl, be man enough to stand up to me.” 

Pacey stood up and faced Dawson. “What the hell are you talking about?” 

“Dawson,” Joey exclaimed, her heart racing in her throat. She had never, in all her years knowing Dawson, seen him that angry. 

“Stay out of this, Joey!” Dawson spat. 

“Hey, man,” Pacey said, not liking the way he was talking to her. 

Dawson pushed Pacey again, causing him to stumble back a step. “I thought you were my best friend, Pacey.” 

“What? I am!” Pacey yelled back, holding back the urge to deck Dawson. 

“I’m finding that a little hard to process right now,” Dawson said, his eyes flashing with anger. 

“Will you two please stop?” Joey pleaded. 

“No, Joey, he started this,” Dawson said, glaring Pacey in the eyes. “He started this when he went after my girl.” 

“Dawson, for the last time, there’s nothing going on between me and Pacey!” Joey wailed.

“I’m not talking about you, Joey!” Dawson exclaimed, still not looking away from Pacey. “I’m talking about Jen. He went after Jen.” 

Suddenly, everything became clear to Pacey, and he closed his eyes on a sigh. 

Joey frowned. “Jen?” she asked, her eyes then moving back to Pacey. His expression told her it was true. “What? You and Jen?” 

Dawson was shaking with anger, his breathing ragged. “Here, I thought you were moving in on Joey, but you weren’t, were you, Pacey?” 

“Dawson,” Pacey began, not knowing how to get himself out of the situation. He looked over at Joey and was confused to see she looked… hurt. He waited for her to look him in the eyes, but she didn’t. 

“So, how long did it take you to move in on Jen after we broke up, huh?” Dawson asked. “An hour, a day?” 

“It’s not how you think it was,” Pacey said, his voice tired. 

“Like hell, Pacey, I know exactly how it was! You’ve wanted her. You’ve wanted her since the moment she got out of that cab, and it killed you because I got her first,” Dawson spat. “You always want what you can’t have, Pacey, and it bothered the hell out of you. So what perfect opportunity to move in on her when I was no longer in the picture.” 

Pacey looked at Dawson with a frown. “Do you really think that?” 

“I know it,” Dawson said matter-of-factly. 

Joey remained quiet, her eyes focused on the floor, and an unknown pain settled in the pit of her stomach. 

“Well, if that’s what you think then, Dawson, I guess we have nothing left to say to each other,” Pacey said, his voice flat. 

Dawson stared at Pacey indignantly before scoffing and turning away. 

Pacey watched as he walked through the door. He swallowed the lump in his throat before daring to look at Joey. 

Joey stared back at him, not daring to let him see that she was upset. “Jen, huh? You’ve wanted her this whole time.” 

“Joey-“ 

“What is it about her, huh?” she interrupted. “Is it the boobs, the hair, the checkered sexual past? What is it about her that makes you guys fall all over yourselves?” 

“It’s not what you think. She kissed me and I… I didn’t stop her. I didn’t mean for it to happen.” 

Joey held up a hand, not wanting to hear anymore. She tilted her face upwards defiantly and drew her lips into a thin line. “You know what, it doesn’t matter what I think.” 

Pacey sighed, knowing she wouldn’t listen to anything he had to say. 

“I just… I guess I just thought-“ 

“Thought what?” Pacey asked, his voice small, catching the quiver in her voice. He felt numb and taken back when he noticed her eyes brimming with tears. 

“Nothing,” Joey mumbled before turning and heading towards the door, needing to be alone, needing to be away from him right then. 

“Joey,” Pacey called out, but she didn’t turn around that time. He edged his way back onto his stool and laid his head down on folded arms.


	10. Fallout

Joey slowly climbed up the ladder, wiping at her face, not wanting Dawson to know she had been crying. She didn’t want to have to explain something she didn’t even understand herself. 

So Pacey and Jen had kissed, who cares? So Pacey liked Jen, whatever. But she cared. For some reason she couldn’t fully grasp, she cared. Maybe it was because of her hatred for Jen that it irritated her to see the girl happy. Or maybe it was because she knew Pacey could do better than that, no matter how much she joked. Maybe it was because the whole thing had upset Dawson. Whatever the reason, she hated it. 

She drew in a deep breath and released it, composing herself before opening the window and slipping inside. 

Dawson was lying on his bed, staring blankly up at the ceiling. 

“Hey,” Joey said, her thumbs hooked through the belt loops of her jeans. “Are you okay?” 

Dawson remained silent as he kept staring into space. 

“Look, Dawson, I’m sorry about all of this.” She waited and got nothing. “Come on, say something. Anything.” 

“I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe they did this to me, especially him,” Dawson said, his voice not sounding like his own. “You know he and I have been best friends for almost ten years?” 

Joey nodded. “Yeah. We all have.” 

Dawson let out a shaky breath. “I hate him for doing this, and I hate her. I hate myself for even caring. I shouldn’t care. They can have each other, for sex or whatever it is they want from each other.” 

Joey looked down at the floor then, his words causing that unfamiliar pain to take refuge in the pit of her stomach again. 

He finally looked at Joey, showing her that he’d been crying. “What I hate the most is…” he trailed off before looking away. He scoffed and then angrily wiped at his cheeks. 

“What, Dawson?” Joey asked, her voice small. 

“I accused you of having something with Pacey, and I’m sorry, Joey. I should have believed you when you told me nothing was happening between you two. You wouldn’t lie to me.” He then scoffed. “You’re the only real friend I have left.” 

Joey looked down at her shoes again. “It’s okay, Dawson,” she mumbled. 

Dawson got off his bed then and started pacing the floor, his hands in his hair. “I don’t know what to do about this.” He then abruptly turned to her, his eyes wild. “What do I do? Act as if nothing happened?” 

Joey lifted a shoulder, not knowing what advice to give him. “Maybe… maybe it’s the only thing you can do, Dawson. Pacey and Jen are old enough to make their own decisions.” 

Dawson sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands. “I was so stupid. I couldn’t see what was right in front of me the whole time, the way they looked at each other, how she would always bring him up in conversation. God, what did I need, a big, flashing neon sign to tell me?” 

He laid back on the mattress and resumed staring at the ceiling. “Worst of all, I thought I was over her. I really, really thought I was over her, but I’m not. Just knowing she kissed Pacey is killing me.” 

“Dawson.” 

“I want her back, Joey.” 

Joey then decided that Dawson was the most confusing, complicated person in her life, and that was saying a lot considering everyone in her life was wacko. 

“You don’t want her, you just don’t want Pacey to have her,” she said before wondering for the first time if Pacey and Jen’s kiss went beyond a kiss. Were they a couple? Did Pacey have her? 

“No, Joey,” Dawson said, “I want her. I’ve just been so confused by the past couple of weeks. I mean, the situation with you and how I felt nothing when we kissed and now this, finding out she kissed Pacey.” He then sighed. “Joey, do you think maybe I could be alone right now?” 

Joey was taken back by the comment, not remembering a time when Dawson had wanted to be alone, instead of analyzing something to death. 

He didn’t need her, not for that, maybe not for anything. 

That was when Joey finally felt it, her and Dawson growing away from each other for good. The kiss between them had only made it clear they weren’t meant to be together romantically, but now she knew they were growing apart, in every sense. 

“Sure, Dawson.” 

“Thanks,” he said and watched as she turned towards the window. “Bye, Joey.” 

“Bye, Dawson,” she said before dipping out of his window. She stood on his roof and wrapped her arms around herself, shielding her body from the cold. She stared out at the creek, wondering when everything started to change, and she was aware that it was because of one person. That time, she didn’t think it was because of Jen. 

~ 

The next morning, Pacey spotted Joey at her locker and stopped walking, contemplating going up to her. He weighed his options mentally, either go up to her and risk getting punched in the nose, or worse, kicked in the balls, or turn the other way and wallow in his emotional pain instead. 

“Hey, move it, buddy.” 

Pacey turned around and found Andie standing behind him. He offered her a small, friendly smile, glad to have at least someone on his side that morning. He had already seen Dawson, but his best friend had abruptly turned around and headed in the other direction. 

“You’re blocking the hallway,” Andie said, her voice perky, and her smile infectious. 

Pacey stepped to the side and made a sweeping motion with his arm. “After you, m’lady.” 

Andie beamed up at him, her heart skipping a little in her chest. She usually didn’t like goofy, conceited, slacker types… but this guy made her knees weak for some reason. 

“I have a better idea,” she said. “Why don’t you walk me to class? You’re going that way anyway, aren’t you?” 

“Uh,” Pacey said, glancing over his shoulder to see that Jack had made it to Joey first. He watched as Joey laughed at something Jack said, her laughter hitting his ears even from that distance. He looked back at Andie and forced a grin. “Sure, why not,” he said with a shrug. 

“Don’t sound so enthused, Pacey.” 

“I get to escort a beautiful woman to her first-period class, what’s not to be enthused about?” Pacey replied, his voice dripping with charm even though he was dying a little on the inside. 

~ 

“Hey.” 

Joey’s head shot up, Jack’s voice bringing her back to reality. “Uh, hey.” 

“See something interesting in there?” Jack asked, nodding towards her locker. At Joey’s frown, he continued, “You were staring into your locker for about five minutes.” 

Joey looked at her locker before looking back at him. “Oh,” she said with a nervous laugh. “Just thinking about some things.” 

Or someone. 

“I hope it has nothing to do with what I said yesterday,” Jack said. “I mean, it was just a hypothetical question, nothing to be weirded out about.” 

Joey shut her locker and turned fully toward him, unable to stop the corner of her mouth from lifting. 

“If you ever wanted to go out on a date, all you’d have to do is say the word, but no pressure or anything,” Jack rambled. “But if you don’t, I’ll understand. I mean, yeah, it would be awkward at first, you know, since we work together and e-“ 

“Jack?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I’ll go out with you,” Joey said, wondering after the words left her mouth what she was saying. 

What would be so bad about going out on a date with Jack? He was cute, funny, loved art as much as she did. Besides, she needed to be around a male she hadn’t known most of her life right now. 

And it wouldn’t hurt anyone. 

Jack grinned. “Great. I mean, okay. Good. How about tonight?” 

“Yeah, well, I work until eight, but yeah,” Joey said, realizing she’d never been on an actual date before. She then realized she’d never had a boyfriend before. Suddenly, she was regretting her decision. 

“Okay, I’ll pick you up from work?” he asked as he started walking backward, a grin spread across his face. 

“Sounds good,” Joey said with a forced smile. 

“Good,” Jack said, smiling back. “Well, I better head to class. See you tonight, Joey.” 

“Yeah, see you, Jack,” she replied and then watched as he walked away. She looked down the hallway and watched as Pacey and Andie headed in the opposite direction together. She didn’t miss the way Andie smiled up at him or the way Pacey playfully bumped his shoulder with hers. 

No, it wouldn’t hurt anyone at all. 

~ 

Jen spotted Pacey at his locker and walked over to him. “You hate me, don’t you?” 

“Hate’s such a strong word when you really think about it,” Pacey said as he rummaged through his messy locker, not bothering to look at her. “Maybe we’ll go with dislike, repulsion, resentment, detestation-“ 

“I didn’t mean to tell him, it slipped,” Jen explained. 

Pacey sighed, not able to stay mad at anyone for too long, especially pouty females. “I’ll get over it,” he said. “But for future reference, next time we have a secret, try to keep it a little more under wraps, even when it strongly involves a mutual friend, especially someone as emotionally inept as Dawson.” 

Jen nodded as she hugged her books to her chest. “I’m sorry.” 

“No matter how many times I try to tell them we’re-” 

“Them?” 

“Joey and Dawson.” 

Jen frowned but remained silent. 

“Yeah, well, they pretty much hate me right now,” Pacey said as he closed his locker and turned to her. “Dawson won’t even look at me, let alone talk to me, and I think Joey’s avoiding me. I almost ran into her in the stairwell a bit ago and she practically threw herself down the steps in the opposite direction to get away from me.” 

Jen frowned. “I understand Dawson getting upset, but why Joey?” 

Pacey shrugged and ran a hand over his face. “I’m guessing because we betrayed her best friend. Why else would she be so upset?” 

“Pacey, doesn’t it make you wonder why Joey got so upset about us kissing? Or why she’s been attached to your side for the past few weeks?” 

“Lindley, I know where you’re going with that, and you can just stop right there,” Pacey said with a sigh. 

“I’m just saying,” Jen said with a shrug. “She’s getting a little worked up over a kiss that had nothing to do with her, don’t you think?” 

Pacey thought about that. Could she be right? Could Joey be upset about him kissing Jen for a reason that had nothing to do with Dawson? 

Just then, Dawson rounded the corner and halted in his steps when he saw Jen and Pacey together. He abruptly turned and went back the way he came. 

“Dawson, man!” Pacey yelled, hurrying to catch up with him. “Would you talk to me?” he exclaimed. 

Dawson turned around suddenly, nearly causing Pacey to run into him. “I have nothing to say to you,” he spat. “You’re nothing to me. You’re nothing to everyone. Do you really think Jen wants you for you? You’re just a screw to her, a conquest. Once she’s through with you, she’ll end it, and you’ll be alone.” 

Pacey was taken back by Dawson’s comments and was aware when students turned to watch around them. “Dawson-“ 

“You two can have each other,” Dawson spat, his eyes averting to Jen who was standing behind Pacey. 

“Dawson, for the last time, it’s not what you think,” Pacey assured. 

“Save it, Pacey.” 

“Alright, you know what, Dawson? Screw you! I’m done kissing your ass. You gave up claims on Jen that night you ran to Joey and kissed her,” Pacey spat before he could think about what he was saying. “So, if Jen and I kissed or had sex, it’s between us. I’m sorry the saga of Dawson and Joey didn’t pan out the way you wanted it to but don’t put your hang-ups on us!” 

He looked over Dawson’s shoulder to see that Joey was now standing there, a sad look on her face. 

“What?” Jen asked, her voice small. “You kissed Joey?” 

Dawson opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out, completely at a loss for words. 

Pacey ran a hand over his face, wishing he could rewind life. When he looked back up, Joey was gone. 

Dawson said nothing as he turned and left. 

Pacey turned back to look at Jen, knowing he was now added to someone else’s shit list. 

“Why didn’t you tell me Dawson kissed Joey?” Jen asked, her voice hurt. 

“It wasn’t my place to,” Pacey explained, not knowing what else to say. 

“So, here I was feeling horrible about kissing you, and he kissed her,” Jen said. “When?” 

“Jen.” 

“When, Pacey?” 

He sighed and ran a hand over his face, wishing the ground would open up beneath him and swallow him whole. “The same night you broke up.” 

Jen nodded slowly, her pain written across her face. “Thanks a lot, Pacey,” she mumbled before turning and walking away, leaving Pacey behind to stare after her. 

~ 

“Joey, table seven is waiting,” Bessie called out. 

Joey sighed and ran a hand over her sweaty forehead, wanting her shift to be over already. She didn’t know how much more she could take. 

When she saw exactly who was sitting at table seven, any chance of her day getting better vanished. 

She watched as Pacey scanned over the menu, knowing it was an act because he already knew what he was getting. 

“What’s wrong with you today?” Bessie asked from behind her. “You seem out of it.” 

“I just have some stuff I’m dealing with.” 

“Lemme guess; he has blond hair, and his name starts with a D,” Bessie said. 

Joey wished it was that simple. She turned to Bessie with pleading eyes. “Can you please take table seven for me, I’m begging you.” She rarely ever begged Bessie for anything, but this was worth stooping for. She wasn’t ready to face Pacey yet, her mind still a jumbled mess over everything. How could you possibly have a conversation with someone when you didn’t even know how you felt or what you thought about a situation? And the little display in the school hallway earlier hadn’t helped matters any. 

“It’s just Pacey,” Bessie exclaimed. 

“I know it’s Pacey,” Joey said with a roll of her eyes. “I don’t want to talk to him right now.” 

Bessie sighed. “Jo, I don’t have time for this adolescent drama. I have a business to run. Now go wait on your friend and get out of my hair.” 

Joey watched as Bessie disappeared into the kitchen, leaving her on her own. Weren’t big sisters supposed to be some sort of support system, someone you could lean on when times got rough? So much for that idea. 

She turned around and eyed Pacey warily. He was fiddling with the salt shakers, and she decided it was as good a time as any to get it over with. 

“Can I take your order?” she asked, refusing to look at him as she hovered her pen over her notepad. 

“Jo,” Pacey reproached. “Would you look at me?”

“I’m busy,” she said. “Your order?” 

“Are you going to stay mad at me forever?” 

“I was kinda planning on it, yeah,” Joey said, still staring down at her pad. “Order?” 

“Joey, this is ridiculous.” 

Joey finally looked at him. “No, Pacey, what’s ridiculous is the fact that you went and kissed Jen behind Dawson’s back. What were you thinking, Pacey? Oh right, I forgot. You don’t think.” 

“So, that’s what this is about? You’re mad at me because I betrayed Dawson?” Pacey asked, narrowing his eyes. 

“That’s the gist of it, yeah,” Joey spat back, not backing down from his questioning stare. 

“I said I was sorry,” Pacey said with a sigh. 

“So, what? Sorry’s supposed to make everything all better? It doesn’t work that way, Pacey. You can’t just do something that monumentally stupid, apologize for it, and go on living your life as if nothing ever happened.” 

“Why not? You and Dawson do it all the time,” Pacey intoned, wondering what the hell was the matter with him today as far as speaking before thinking went. 

Joey shook her head softly and glanced away. 

“Look, Jo, what happened is between me, Dawson, and Jen. It really has nothing to do with you,” Pacey pointed out. 

His words cut, deeper than she wanted them to, but she knew he was right. It had nothing to do with her. Pacey betrayed Dawson, not her. Pacey kissed Jen, not her. 

“You’re right,” she said, tilting her chin up. “It has nothing to do with me. In fact, I don’t care okay? I don’t care what you do, Pacey. Kiss Jen, kiss whoever you want. I. Don’t. Care.” She then wondered which one of them she was trying to convince. 

“Okay,” Pacey said with a short nod of his head. “So, are we okay?” 

Joey threw up her hands and let out a groan. “No, Pacey, we’re not okay!” 

Pacey frowned. “Potter, you’re confusing me!” 

Joey sighed and finally, reluctantly, slipped into the booth across from him. 

“Can you explain all of this to me, because I don’t think I’ve ever been more confused in my life.” 

“I don’t know, Pacey, okay? I don’t know what to think anymore, or why I even care,” Joey said. “It’s just… why Jen? And why so soon after they broke up? And why…” She wanted to ask him why he never mentioned Jen to her, or why he’d spent so much time with her and not Jen, and why, sometimes, she felt as if he had maybe wanted to kiss her. But she didn’t ask any of that. “I guess I’m just… disappointed.” 

“Disappointed in what?” Pacey asked, eyeing her, thinking how pretty she was, the loose tendrils of hair that had fallen from her bun whisking softly across her soft pink cheeks. 

“I don’t know,” she mumbled. “I guess I’m just disappointed in a lot of things.” 

“Well, when don’t I disappoint you, Potter?” Pacey asked with a small smile, hoping to break the tension. “Okay, so I disappointed you? Isn’t that in the realm of normalcy, therefore I hadn’t disappointed you at all because I technically did exactly as you expected?” 

Joey frowned. 

Pacey laughed a little as he leaned across the table. “Look, I regret what I did and I can’t take it back. You know, this is me, Pacey, act now think later. I can’t be held accountable for my own actions when, as you say, I’m only functioning with half a brain. I’m gonna work on fixing things with Dawson. I just don’t want things to change between me and you. I like this little friendship thing we have going on.” 

Joey smirked before rolling her eyes. “Me too.” 

“And I’d kinda like for it to continue, but you have to keep in mind that I will mess up and mess up big. That’s when you’re supposed to pat me on the head, tell me I’m a bad boy, but that things are going to be okay. Got it?” 

“Got it,” Joey said as she stood. “You just have to stop being such a slut, or I won’t be able to hang out with the likes of you.” 

“You can take the boy out of the slut, but you can’t take the slut out of the boy.” 

“I have to get back to work,” Joey said after rolling her eyes. She went to turn around but then turned back to him slowly. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She squinted her eyes against the sun and tried again, “So, you and Jen…?”

“We’re friends.“

Joey gnawed on her bottom lip and nodded.

“Don’t worry, Potter. You’re still my number one girl,” he finished with a grin. 

Joey rolled her eyes and shook her head as if that were the most absurd thing she’d ever heard. But as she went back to work, his words stayed with her, wondering if they might be true. 

~

As Pacey was leaving the Ice House a little while later, he sighed when he noticed Jack walking towards him. He shoved his hands into his pockets, deciding maybe he should trade pleasantries with the other guy, if only for Joey’s sake. 

“Hey,” Jack said, looking surprised to see Pacey. 

“Hey,” Pacey said. “Judging by the way you’re dressed, I’m assuming you aren’t here to work?” 

Jack looked down at his khakis and white sweater. “No,” he said. He then leaned in a little. “Does this outfit make me look a little… gay?” 

“No, man,” Pacey lied. He then pieced everything together. The way Jack was dressed, the cheesy flowers he held in his hand, the rank smell of cheap cologne. “So, who’s the hot date?” 

“Uh,” Jack began. “Joey is.” 

Pacey’s heart dropped into his stomach. “Joey, huh?” 

“Yeah,” Jack said, seeming a little nervous right then. “She didn’t tell you?” 

Pacey shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “Why would she tell me?” he asked, trying to keep the edge from his voice. “It has nothing to do with me.” 

Jack nodded a little and then motioned towards the door. “Well, I better get inside.” 

“Yeah, don’t wanna be late for your first date,” Pacey said, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. He wanted to tell Jack right then that he did, in fact, look gay, and that his cologne smelled like dirty feet, and that Joey didn’t like guys that brought girls flowers, but he didn’t. 

Because it had nothing to do with him. 

“See ya, Pacey,” Jack said before heading inside. He stopped at the door and turned around. “Guess she isn’t a lesbian after all,” he said, perhaps a little flatly before disappearing inside. 

Pacey watched as another man headed closer to his girl, and he had never felt further away. 

~ 

Dawson spotted Jen down at the end of the dock and made his way towards her, his hands shoved into his pockets. 

She didn’t turn around when he reached her, only continued staring at the creek before her, the rays from the descending sun casting orange and yellow streaks across the water. 

Dawson moved to stand next to her. 

“I’ll completely understand if you want to push me in,” he said after a long silence. He eyed her, waiting for a response, thinking how beautiful she looked, her hair loose and wavy around her face, and the fallen sunlight illuminating her perfect features. 

“Jen, I’m sorry.” 

Jen finally looked at him, her eyes clouded over with unshed tears. “You’re unbelievable, you know that, Dawson Leery. I’ve never met anyone like you before.” 

The corner of Dawon’s mouth curled up, thinking it was a compliment. 

“I’ve been trying to apologize to you, but you wouldn’t hear it. And now you’re apologizing to me. What am I supposed to do? Forgive you? Forgive you for calling me a whore in front of everyone?” 

“Jen, I didn’t call you a whore.” 

“You might as well have,” Jen spat. “I have never felt so low as I did today, Dawson.” 

“Jen,” Dawson pleaded. 

“You know, I actually felt bad for kissing Pacey,” Jen said with a watery laugh. “But then I find out you kissed Joey,” she accused. “What you did was worse, Dawson. You went and kissed the one person I accused you of wanting all along.” 

“Jen.” 

“You wanted her all along, but you kept insisting you didn’t, making me look like a paranoid fool, but I wasn’t paranoid, was I, Dawson?” 

“Jen, it wasn’t-” Before Dawson could finish what he was going to say, Jen slapped him hard across the face. 

“That’s for making me feel like dirt today, for lying to me the entire length of our relationship, for making me feel bad for something you did yourself.” 

Dawson looked at Jen with wide eyes, his cheek throbbing. 

“I’ve been treated badly in the past by guys… but no guy has ever made me feel the way you did today. Go to hell, Dawson Leery,” she spat before brushing past him and heading back up the dock. 

Dawson stared after her in shock, tears springing to his eyes. He looked back out towards the creek and scoffed. 

~ 

Pacey was walking aimlessly downtown, not wanting to go home right then. Not wanting to go anywhere right then. 

He walked down the sidewalk, his head bent, and his hands shoved into his pockets, as he wondered what Joey and trying-too-hard guy were doing. Were they at the movies? Was Jack trying to put his arm around her shoulders in that cheesy I’m-yawning-to-put-you-off-of-the-fact-that-Im-trying-to-put-my-arm-around-you way? Were they sharing a tub of popcorn, their fingers brushing seductively in the process? Or worse, were they in the backseat of a car somewhere, making out like maniacs? 

Okay, so he doubted the last one was true, but he still considered it. 

He plopped down on a nearby bench and rubbed at his sleepy eyes. 

“Pacey?” 

Pacey looked up to find Abby Morgan standing behind him. He chuckled mirthlessly. “Abby, really. Now’s not the time.” 

Abby rolled her eyes before sitting down next to him. 

“How do you know that seat wasn’t taken?” 

“Please,” Abby spat. “Like you have any friends besides Dawson Lame-o Leery and Joey I-Like-Girls Potter.” 

Pacey smirked a little at that, finding humor right then in the deprecation of his so-called friends. “Yeah, I guess that doesn’t compare to the heathens you call your friends.” 

“So, where are your friends? Did they finally figure out what a loser you are and decide to ditch you?” 

“No,” Pacey said, running a hand over his face. “Dawson is… I don’t really know what Dawson’s doing right now.” 

“Probably masturbating to a Spielberg poster.” 

Pacey snickered. “Maybe.” 

“Where’s Joey? On a date with Jen?” 

“No. Jack, actually.” 

“Jack?” Abby exclaimed. “New, hot guy Jack? How the hell did she score him?” 

Pacey rested his head back on the bench and groaned. “Thanks, Abby. Only you can provide the salt to my very open, very exposed wound.” 

“I aim to please… myself, that is,” Abby said. 

“That’s just wrong,” Pacey said with a chuckle. 

Abby finally realized what she said and made a face. “And you, Pacey Witter, never fail to be a slimeball.” She stood up and began walking away. 

“It was nice chatting with you, Abby.” 

Abby threw him a not-so-nice finger gesture over her shoulder. 

~ 

After a dinner of nearly burnt pizza, greasy wings, flat pop, and casual conversation consisting of school and work and general likes and dislikes, Jack and Joey headed to the movies. 

Joey had never gone to the movies with someone outside of her circle before. With Dawson and Pacey, they usually sat in the back, their feet propped on the seat in front of them as they talked through the whole thing, analyzing the movie to pieces, with Pacey throwing an occasional kernel or two at heads in front of them. 

Jack decided he wanted to sit closer to the front and, after a few minutes and the previews started rolling, Joey could already feel the kink forming in her neck. 

“You okay?” Jack whispered, leaning towards her in the dark. 

Joey looked at him and smiled. “Yeah.” 

“You sure you wanted to see this?” Jack whispered, causing someone behind him to kick his seat. 

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Joey lied, thinking about a few hundred other things she’d rather be doing than watching a movie about fast cars, half-naked girls, and more four-lettered-words she’d ever care to hear. But this was her first date ever, and she wasn’t about to complain. Yet. 

Jack took a sip from the large diet soda he had bought and handed it towards her. 

“Thanks,” Joey whispered as their fingers brushed. She was waiting for some sort of spark but got nothing. She stared up at the beginning credits as she sipped her soda. 

“Popcorn?” Jack asked, handing her the large bucket. 

“Thanks,” Joey said, grabbing a handful. 

Jack laughed as he watched her shove the handful into her mouth, causing a few kernels to fall onto her chest. “Cute.” 

“Did you bring any napkins?” Joey asked. “My hands are all greasy.” 

“Sh!” someone behind them hissed. 

Joey turned and gave them an evil look before looking back at Jack. 

“No, I forgot to grab some.” 

“Oh,” Joey said, wiping the grease on her jeans instead. “That’s okay.” She then watched as he focused his full attention on the movie before them. 

She looked at the screen and tried to get into the movie, but couldn’t, finding the dialogue utterly ridiculous and the plot even more so. Just then, Jack stretched his arms out and yawned. She smirked, already knowing what the result would be. Sure enough, his arm was around her shoulders. 

“Goober?” Jack asked, holding out the box of candy to her. 

“Definitely,” she said, not so sure she was talking about the candy. 

~ 

Jen opened the door and leaned against the frame of it when she saw who had knocked. “What do you want?” 

“For you to show me the same forgiveness and grace I showed you this morning,” Pacey said. He then gave her his best puppy-dog face. 

Jen couldn’t help but smile. “Ah, I guess you’re forgiven. I’m sorry, too, Pacey. You were right; it wasn’t your place to tell me. Dawson’s been your friend longer than I have been so… I understand.” 

“Good,” Pacey said, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

Jen eyed him, noticing he wasn’t his usual, goofy self. “Pace, what’s wrong?” 

“Perhaps the better question would be what isn’t wrong.” 

“Okay,” Jen asked, humoring him. “What isn’t wrong?” 

Pacey rubbed at his chin as he narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “Hm, well, my mom made spaghetti and meatballs tonight, that was pretty right.” 

“Pacey.” 

Pacey sighed, dropping the act. “Perhaps I’m just… feeling a little down.” 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

“Not particularly, no,” he said. “Because talking about it would somehow make it true.” 

“And just thinking about it makes it… not true?” 

“Saying it would make it… real.” 

“Well,” Jen began. “I’m here if you need me, Pace.” 

Pacey nodded. “I really needed to hear that right now. Nothing like hearing those words when you feel alone in the world.” 

“Are you getting sappy on me, Witter?” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Pacey said with a half-hearted chuckle before turning and walking down her steps, letting the screen door thump shut behind him. 

“Pacey?” 

Pacey turned around in her yard and looked at her. “Yeah?” 

“Just answer me one thing,” she said. “Is it fantasy or reality, this thing that’s got you so down?” 

Pacey pursed his lips as he thought about it. “Oh, it’s definitely real,” he finally said. “For me, at least.” 

Jen smiled softly and watched him leave, his head bent and shoulders slumped, knowing, despite her own thoughts and feelings, what she had to do. 

~ 

Jack walked Joey up to her door, and they stood awkwardly facing each other. “I had fun,” he said. “Did you have fun?” 

Joey smiled as she tucked a chunk of hair behind her ear. “I had fun. It was the best date I’d ever had.” 

Jack laughed. “It was the only date you ever had.” 

Joey laughed, too, and was caught off guard when he leaned in and brushed his lips softly against hers. It was just a caress, a soft brushing of lips, but it was sweet. 

Not like kissing Dawson. 

And not quite the same as kissing someone else… 

“Sorry,” Jack said after he pulled away. 

“It’s okay, Jack,” Joey assured. “Trust me, If I didn’t like it, I would have kneed you in the balls or something.” 

Jack made a pained expression. “Ouch.” 

They stood awkwardly for a few more seconds before Joey spoke. “I better get inside. I wouldn’t be surprised if Bessie was watching out the window.” 

Jack smiled. “Okay, um, I’ll see you at school?” 

Joey nodded, thinking he wanted to kiss her again and not knowing how she felt about that. “I’ll be there.” 

“Bye, Joey.” 

“Bye, Jack,” Joey said back and watched as he walked down the porch steps, noticing the slight bounce in his step as he walked to his car. The smile slipped off her face, her mind even more jumbled than ever. 

Just as she was about to turn and go in the house, she caught a lone figure making their way towards her. She squinted her eyes before finally making the person out. 

“What do you want?” 

Jen stopped at the bottom of the steps, her arms wrapped around herself. “I need to talk to you.” 

“I have nothing to say to you,” Joey said, turning to open the screen door. 

“If you care about Pacey, even a little, you’ll hear me out,” Jen called out. 

Joey froze with the door open, Jen’s words sinking in. She then turned back to the girl, eyeing her coldly. After a beat, she said, “I’m listening.” 

“I just… I just wanted to let you know that I’m not sorry for kissing him. I don’t regret it. I don’t take it back,” Jen said. 

“You came all the way over here to tell me that?” Joey spat. 

“No, I came here to tell you what Pacey’s been trying to say, what you and Dawson won’t let him say.” 

“Oh, so now you’re speaking for him?” Joey retorted. “How cute.” 

“Look, I kissed him, okay? In fact, I wanted a relationship with him, but he turned me down. He said he couldn’t do that to Dawson, that it wasn’t worth hurting people he cared about.” 

Joey looked down at her shoes, letting Jen’s words register. 

“He did nothing wrong,” Jen finished. “If you wanna blame someone, blame me.” 

Joey looked back up at her. “Are you done?” 

Jen sighed. “Yes.” 

“Good,” Joey said, turning back towards the door and going inside. She leaned against the closed door and rubbed a hand over her face. 

After getting into her pajamas and curling up on the couch, she grabbed the phone and dialed the number that had become so familiar to her lately. 

After the third ring, Pacey answered, “House of Witter, who’s calling?” 

“Hey, Jail Bait,” Joey said, relaxing at the sound of his voice. 

Pacey was silent for a beat before exclaiming, “10:47? What kind of date ends at 10:47?” 

“Pacey,” Joey chided, even though she was smiling. 

“How’d it go?” 

“Fine.” 

“Fine? Just fine?” 

“It was nice,” Joey corrected with a sigh. 

“How about lame? Did you see those flowers?” 

“The flowers were nice.” 

“Nice? Not fine?” Pacey teased. “Nice would have been you beating him senseless over the head with them.” 

Joey laughed into the phone despite herself. “Be nice, Jack’s a good guy.” 

“Fine, nice, and good. Any more lame adjectives you wanna throw at me, Potter?” 

“I loathe you.” 

“Don’t forget, you called me,” Pacey pointed out. There was another brief pause before he asked, “Did he kiss you?” 

The smile slipped off Joey’s face. “Does it matter?” 

“Hey, I’m only asking out of obligation. You called me, obviously wanting to engage in some girl-talk, so spill, Josephine. Don’t leave Pacifina in the dark here, girlfriend!” 

Joey sighed. “Yeah, he kissed me.” 

Pacey was silent for a bit, and she was almost sure he’d hung up. “Was it fine? Nice? Good?” 

“I’m hanging up now.” 

“Dandy? Pleasant?” 

“Seriously. I’m hanging up.” 

“Did you choke on the smell of his cologne?” 

“Goodnight, Pacey,” Joey said before hanging up. She was still smiling even as she slipped under the covers, unaware that a few miles away, a certain someone was sitting on the corner of his bed, his heart broken.


	11. Twenty Questions

Joey was resting back against Dawson’s headboard, slowly lifting her hand between the bowl of popcorn and her mouth as she watched the movie play out on the screen. It was certainly better than the movie she and Jack had watched on their date two nights before. 

“So, are you two a couple now?” Dawson asked as he reached his hand into the bowl. It had surprised him when Joey climbed through his window. It felt nice to know he still had one good friend left. 

Joey shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said. “I mean, we went out on a date, and he walks me to my classes at school. What really makes two people a couple, anyway?” 

“Have you two kissed?” Dawson asked, eyeing her, not an ounce of jealousy in his voice. He was just glad Joey was with someone who wasn’t Pacey. He wouldn’t be able to handle that. 

“He kissed me after our date.” 

“Not since?” 

Joey thought about that, thinking that a few months before this, talking to Dawson, of all people, about kissing another guy would have been awkward. Now, it was just a girl telling her best friend about a guy. 

Simple. 

“I think he tried to kiss me today at my locker, but his sister interrupted,” Joey said, leaving out the part about how she was glad Andie had interrupted them. 

“Has he asked you to the dance tomorrow night yet?” 

Joey looked at him with an arched eyebrow. “Dawson, I wasn’t aware that we were playing twenty questions.” 

“I’m just asking!” Dawson said and then laughed when Joey whacked him on the head with a pillow. 

“No, he didn’t ask me yet,” Joey said, not exactly knowing how she felt about that. Of course, if Jack did ask she would say yes, even though school dances were low on her list of fun things to do. But if he didn’t ask, she wouldn’t be disappointed, and she didn’t know what to make of that. 

“Perhaps I’ll just cut to the chase,” Dawson said. “Do you want to be a couple?” 

“If you’re asking me if I like him, the answer is yes,” Joey said, tucking a chunk of hair behind her ear. “He’s cute, smart, funny, a little clumsy but in an endearing way. Oh, he likes art just as much as me. We have tons in common,” she pointed out matter-of-factly. 

“Sounds perfect for you.” 

Joey frowned a little. “He is actually,” she said. She then wondered if the guy was so perfect for her, why did she constantly think about someone else; someone she could never possibly be with. Another fantasy. 

The very idea of Pacey Witter returning her feelings was unfathomable to her. She was his buddy, his pal, his sparring partner. She was the tomboy from down the creek to him. Always had been, always would be. 

She was not ready to live in another fantasy world again. She had done that with Dawson and look how that turned out. 

Here was Jack, a boy who didn’t know her inside out, who liked her a lot; who was perfect for her. He was what was real. 

“Joey?” Dawson asked, bringing her back to reality. “You didn’t answer my question. Do you want to be a couple?” 

“Sorry, Dawson,” Joey said, reaching for more popcorn. “Your twenty questions are up.” 

~ 

The next day at school, Pacey spotted Joey at her locker. During the past couple of days, since their phone conversation, he had made himself scarce, only bumping into her in the hallways occasionally, always having an excuse why he couldn’t talk. It hurt to look at her anymore, especially since all he could picture nowadays was Jack McPhee’s lips on hers. 

“Hey,” he said, tucking his books under his arm against his side. “You look nice today.” 

Joey looked at Pacey and smirked as she looked down at her outfit. She wasn’t dressed any differently than usual, same old jeans and flannel. “Are you feeling okay?” 

Pacey shrugged and leaned his shoulder against the locker next to hers. “Yeah, why?” 

Joey knew something was up with him. He hadn’t been his normal, quick-witted self lately, and he wasn’t dispensing any details on why. “No reason.” She shut her locker and turned fully to face him. “So, what’s up?” 

Pacey ran a hand through his newly cropped hair. Gone was the caesar cut. “I was wondering if maybe you wanted to do something after school today.” Dammit, when had it become so nerve-wracking just asking Joey to do something after school? “Unless you and nervous, clumsy guy have something planned already,” he added quickly. 

“No, we don’t have anything planned. We can hang out,” Joey said, secretly excited at the chance to hang out with Pacey. 

“Cool,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. 

Just then, Jack came walking towards them. He had a smile on his face even though Pacey could have sworn he’d seen it falter when Jack realized he was standing here. 

“Hey, guys.” 

Joey turned to Jack, disappointed to be interrupted. She then remembered she had to start telling the difference between fantasy and reality. She gave him a big smile. “Hey.” 

Pacey noticed the huge grin Joey gave Jack. He shook his head softly and looked down at his shoes, that smile like a dagger to his chest. “I’ll see you later,” he said before brushing between them and heading down the hallway. 

“What’s up with him?” Jack asked 

Joey shrugged. “I don’t know,” she said as she continued watching him, wondering why Pacey didn’t seem to like Jack very much, which was odd because Pacey was usually friendly with everyone. She watched until Pacey disappeared around a corner before turning back to Jack. 

“Hey,” Jack said again. 

“Hey, again,” Joey said with a small smile. 

“Ready to be escorted to class?” 

“Lead the way,” Joey said with a crooked smile as they began walking. 

“So, um, I hear there’s a dance tomorrow,” Jack pointed out. 

There it was, the inevitable question. 

“There is, is there?” Joey joked. 

“Yeah,” Jack answered. “I was wondering if maybe you’d wanna go with me.” 

“I don’t know, Jack,” Joey said. “Dances aren’t really my thing, you know?” She watched as his face fell. She liked messing with him sometimes, mostly because he sometimes didn’t get her teasing. 

“Oh, okay.” 

Joey laughed. “Jack, lighten up. Of course, I’ll go with you.” 

“Good,” Jack said before grabbing her hand and lacing their fingers together. “Because I wouldn’t want to dance with anyone else.” 

Joey looked at him sideways and gave him a crooked smile as they continued walking down the hall, their hands locked between them, glad that he couldn’t read her mind right then. 

~ 

When the bell rang, Andie stood up and hurriedly gathered her books. Before she knew what was happening, her books went crashing to the floor and papers went flying everywhere. She bent down to collect them, sighing when her fellow students bumped and pushed around her, no one bothering to stop and help. 

“Here, let me help you.” 

Andie looked up at the stranger and smiled. “Thank you.” 

The guy bent down with her and began gathering up her papers. “Sorry everyone here is rude. There are a few decent ones.” 

“You’re Dawson, right?” 

Dawson smiled as they both stood up. He handed her the papers he’d collected. “Yeah. You’re Andie, Jack's sister?” 

“Right.” 

“Nice to meet you, Andie.” 

“You too,” Andie said, surprised at how nice he was. And he wasn’t bad to look at either. 

“Well, I better get to class. I’ll see you around, Andie.” 

Andie watched as Dawson left, a small smile lingering on her face. She then remembered what she had to do and she hurried out of the classroom. Sure enough, Pacey was standing at his locker. 

“Hey.” 

Pacey looked at her and smiled as he rummaged through his locker. “What’s happening, McPhee?” At least one of the McPhees was a kind, decent, don't-steal-your-girl-from-under-you human being. 

“Well, this is going to sound funny, but… you know, I’m new here and don’t really know anybody. You’re really the only person who’s been decent to me if you think about it. You talk to me like I’m a person when everyone else has been so rude, you showed me the ropes. So, I mean, wouldn’t it make sense if you took me to the dance tomorrow night? If you don’t have a date already, that is.” 

Pacey looked at her when her rambling was finally over, surprised. Females rarely came up to him and ask him out, especially ones as pretty and smart as Andie McPhee. What the hell would someone like her want with someone like him? 

“Are you asking me out, Andie?” he asked with a grin. 

“Well, not really out, out. Just… escorting each other to the dance. Jack’s going with Joey, and it would have been weird going to the dance with my brother anyway, don’t you think? And I can not go stag, that would be too embarrassing. Could you imagine, the new girl going to the dance alone?” 

Pacey looked into his locker when it sunk in that Joey was going to the school dance with Jack. He didn’t know why that information hurt so much when he’d seen it coming a mile away. 

“You can say no if you want to, Pacey,” Andie said, disappointed by his silence. “I’ll understand. I mean, how desperate must I look right now? It’s just… I like you, Pacey. But I promise if you-” 

“Andie?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Has anyone ever told you that you talk way too much?” Pacey asked with a small smile that hurt a little around the edges. 

“All the time,” Andie said, smiling back. 

Pacey turned fully to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. “I’d love to go to the dance with you, McPhee.” He then closed his locker. “But I’m not wearing a tie.” 

They began walking down the hall together, Pacey’s side of the conversation, quips and all, were halfhearted, as he thought about the fact that Jack would be the one picking Joey up at her house, he’d be the one telling her she looked absolutely incredible, and Jack’s arms would be around her while they danced, not his. 

He always did hate school dances. 

~ 

At lunchtime, Jack slid into the seat across from Joey. “You’ll never guess who my sister is going to the dance with,” he said as he shook his milk carton. 

“I hate guessing games,” Joey said as she sipped her soda. 

“She’s going with Pacey,” Jack said, relieving her of her guessing duty. 

Joey slowly pulled the can away from her mouth as Jack’s news hit her like a ton of bricks. “Andie’s going to the dance with Pacey?” 

“Yeah,” he said before digging into his meatloaf. “She just went up to him and asked him. He said yes, seemed excited about it,” he answered through a mouthful of food. “I think she really likes him. She’s usually pretty reserved around guys.” 

Joey nodded her head as she took another sip of her soda, trying to dissect the information. She had seen Pacey and Andie together in the hallways a few times, but it had always seemed casual. Pacey had never even mentioned Andie to her. 

Then she decided that it wasn’t any of her business. Pacey was the fantasy. If he wanted to go out with Andie, he could. She was going with Jack, and that was just the way it was. That’s the way she was going to let it be. 

So why did it hurt? 

Just then, as if God were playing a sick, cruel joke on her, Andie walked up to the table, a grin plastered across her face. “Hey, guys.” 

Joey forced a smile before sipping her soda yet again. She eyed the other girl as she talked to Jack, thinking that she wasn’t exactly the type of girl Pacey usually went for. She was way too conservative looking with her plaid skirt, cardigan, and ponytail. She was also way too bubbly and happy all the time, and she honestly didn’t see how Pacey could find it endearing. 

“Why don’t we double date?” Andie suggested, looking between them with wide, excited eyes, bringing Joey crashing back to reality. 

“No, I don’t think so,” Jack said, stealing the words from Joey’s mouth. 

Andie frowned. “Why not? It makes perfect sense! We can all ride together, Pacey and Joey know each other, so there will be no awkwardness. It’s perfect.” 

Joey looked down at her tray as she halfheartedly forked through her mashed potatoes. 

“Besides, Pacey makes me a little nervous, and you guys can be there to break the ice,” Andie chirped. 

Jack then shrugged and looked at Joey. “I don’t care. Do you care?” 

“No,” she said with a shrug of her shoulders. “Why would I care?” 

“Great, then it’s settled!” Andie exclaimed, moving around excitedly in her seat. “It’s going to be so much fun!” 

Joey looked at Andie, suddenly not hungry. She dropped her fork onto her tray. The very idea of spending the entire night with Pacey and Andie made her nauseated. 

“Um, I gotta go,” she said before standing up. “I have to get to Peterson’s class early to talk to him about an assignment.” 

“You okay?” Jack asked with a frown. 

“Yeah,” she said as she gathered her tray. “I’ll see you later, okay?” She leaned down and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

Jack watched as she walked away. He then looked at Andie and sighed. 

“You really like her, don’t you?” Andie asked as she peeled her banana. 

“Yeah,” Jack answered, which was why it sucked so bad knowing she liked someone else. 

~ 

Pacey walked into the Ice House later that day and found Joey sitting at the counter, her head bent as she worked on homework. He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked over to her. 

“Hey.” 

Joey looked up from her writing. “Hey.” 

“I called your house, but Bessie said you were here,” Pacey explained. 

“Yeah, I know we were supposed to hang out today, but Beth called off, so I’m picking up her shift. We’re kind of slow right now, so I’m trying to get some of this massive pile of homework done,” she said, not ignoring the fact that her heart was now pounding in her throat. 

Pacey slid onto the stool next to hers and leaned against the counter on folded arms. 

“Mind if I hang out here for a while? The folks are having a birthday party for one of Carrie’s monsters, so I’m trying to stay as far away from that house as possible tonight. I figured hanging out with you might just be better than watching my pops get plastered and Doug go on acting as if he isn’t gay.” 

“Um, yeah, no I don’t care if you hang out.” She then smirked. “I might even put you on dish duty.” 

Pacey lifted up his hands. “And ruin these bad boys? I don’t think so, Jo.” 

Joey smiled at him, silently relieved that he seemed to be back in his usual, joking mood. She then wondered if Andie had anything to do with that. She looked down at her open notebook, the smile slipping from her face. “I have so much homework to do. My grades are starting to slip. If I ever hope to get out of this place, I need to start focusing.” 

“I wouldn’t worry, Jo. You’re going to make it outta here. You’re going to go to some great, Ivy League school and send me postcards back here. I’ll most likely be tending bars and pumping gas.” 

“Pacey, you’ll get out, too.” 

“Yeah… if the circuses hire,” Pacey said, shooting her a playful smile. 

Joey shook her head with her own smile and went back to looking at her notebook. 

Pacey eyed her, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Tell you what though,” he said, his voice changing. “I wouldn’t bet against that Potter girl.” 

Joey slowly lifted her eyes to his, not knowing how to respond to that. She held his gaze, suddenly forgetting how to breathe. 

“So, you like the new ‘do?” Pacey asked, running a hand over the top of his head, knowing he had to say or do something to stop himself from leaning over and kissing her. 

“No,” Joey answered, still a little rattled. “It draws more attention to your ugly mug,” she joked, even though that was far from the truth. 

Pacey laughed. “You know I’m pretty, Potter.” 

“Pretty delusional,” Joey said with a crooked smile before going back to her homework. 

Pacey looked over his shoulder, eyeing the lonely couple that sat in the corner of the restaurant. He looked back at Joey as she began writing again, taking that moment to really look at her. 

He had always noticed how pretty Joey was, he’d be blind not to. He’d had random crushes on her over the years, but they had been nothing like this. She’d never been as pretty to him as she was right then. 

He liked the way her hair fell into her face and the way she’d tuck it behind her ear. He liked the way she furrowed her brow as she wrote. He liked that she didn’t take any of his crap. He liked that she didn’t laugh at most of his jokes like other girls. He liked that he could banter with her like no one else. He liked the way she looked, smelled, chewed on her bottom lip. He liked being near her. 

Joey looked at him then, and their eyes locked. 

Maybe he even loved all those things about her. 

“So, I, um, hear you’re taking Andie to the dance?” 

The random question caught Pacey off guard. “What?” he asked, temporarily dumbfounded. 

“Andie. You’re taking her to the dance?” 

“Oh, yeah, I am.” 

Joey nodded and looked down at her notebook. “So, do you like her?” she asked as nonchalantly as possible. 

Pacey shrugged and cleared his throat. “Yeah, I like her. She asked me to go, and I said yes. No one else was asking me,” he said with a half-hearted chuckle. 

Joey looked back at him, catching his eyes again. “They want us to double date. I mean, how typical is that going to be?” 

Pacey forced a laugh, even though his insides were turning. The very idea of double-dating with Jack and Joey was right up there with hanging himself with barbed wire. 

But he figured he’d do anything to be near her, so why not, even if it was torture to himself.

“We’re falling into the stereotype.” 

“Definitely. First, we’re being dragged to a school dance, which is the root of all evil might I add, and then we’re being forced into a group scenario.” 

Pacey nodded. “Two things we hate, school functions and groups of any kind.” 

“It’s gonna be torture,” Joey added. 

“Torture,” Pacey added, his voice raspy as his eyes involuntarily fell to her lips. 

Just then, Bodie came out through the swinging kitchen door, holding two steaming plates. “Table five’s order is up, Joey.” 

Joey immediately got up, her heart thumping in her throat, both relieved and infuriated that Bodie had chosen that moment to interrupt them. 

She had been so sure Pacey was about to kiss her. She then pushed that idea out of her head, because that couldn’t have been what was about to happen. It was all in her head, just like it had been with Dawson. 

As Joey headed towards her table, Pacey laid his forehead against the bar top, cursing himself. What the hell was he thinking, trying to put the moves on Joey? He really was a moron. Like Joey would ever feel anything for him beside the bile reserved in the pit of her stomach with his name on it. He made her sick, she’d said so frequently. He was jail bait, a loser, a moron. He would never be anything but a pest slash sometimes friend to her. 

Besides, she had Jack. Her boyfriend. 

He really was a glutton for punishment. 

He slid off of the stool just as Joey came back. 

“Where’re you going? You just got here,” Joey pointed out, disappointed that he was leaving so soon. 

“Yeah, I forgot I have to, um, stop by Screen Play for a second… to, uh, fill out some paperwork thingy.” 

“Paperwork thingy?” Joey asked with a frown. 

“Yeah, apparently it’s really important for, uh, you know,” Pacey said, wanting to slap himself in the forehead for being a moron. 

“Okay,” Joey intoned, wondering if she had said or done something wrong. 

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“Yeah.” 

“That reminds me, I gotta ask my pops if I can burrow his tuxedo shirt,” Pacey joked as he began walking backward. 

“You always were full of class, Pace.” 

Pacey smiled softly at her before turning around and leaving. 

The smile slipped off Joey’s face as she got back up on her stool and picked up her pen. Before she knew what was happening, her eyes began to water, but she held the threatening tears back, not wanting a customer or Bodie to catch her crying. 

She couldn’t help but feel as if the friendship she and Pacey had built was slowly starting to fall apart. It was bad enough she couldn’t tell him all the things she wanted to tell him, but it would devastate her if he wasn’t there. She wanted to have him as a friend if he couldn’t be anything more, and she was feeling as if she didn’t have that. 

Things had been so strained between them the last couple of days, because of things she couldn’t explain or control, and she was powerless to stop it. 

She wiped at her cheek as an unruly tear slid down it. 

“Hey.” 

Joey looked up to find Pacey standing there, his hands shoved into his pockets. 

Saying nothing more, he reclaimed his seat next to her and grabbed some sugar packets. 

Joey watched as he began opening them and creating a small mound on the bar top. “Why are you back?” she asked after a beat. 

Pacey threw her a sideways glance before smiling softly and going back to his work. “I realized I had nothing better to do.” He looked back at her. “Besides, I can’t really think of anything better than sitting here with you… making a mess, of course.” 

Joey smiled back, her heart melting in her chest. She then sniffed and put on a serious look. “You know you’re going to have to clean that up, right?” 

“Hey, lady, it’s your job, not mine.” 

“Pacey.” 

“What?” he asked as he grabbed more sugar packets. 

“Back away from the sugar packets or I’ll shove my highlighter in a place where the sun doesn’t shine.” 

“On you or me?” Pacey asked with a lift of his eyebrow. 

“You’re disgusting.” 

“You love it,” Pacey said. He then laughed when she dabbed the green highlighter on the tip of his nose. “Hey, don’t mess with the mug!” he exclaimed as he swatted her hand away. 

“What?” Joey asked, shrugging innocently. “I’m just highlighting your huge, massive nose.” 

“Massive?” Pacey nearly squealed. “No, massive would be your feet.” 

Joey’s jaw dropped. “My feet are not big.” 

“I didn’t say big. I said massive,” Pacey corrected. 

“I loathe you.” She went to dab at his face, but Pacey was quicker that time. They wrestled over the highlighter for a minute before he gained control of it. With short, even jabs, he dabbed the highlighter all over her face. 

Joey squealed with laughter as she tried to lean away. “Pacey!” 

Pacey laughed. “How do you like me now, Potter!” 

“Pacey, I have customers!” Joey exclaimed through a laugh. 

“Which is why you’re gonna look really ridiculous when you go to check on them, aren’t you?” 

“I’ll get you back, Witter,” Joey warned as she wiped at her face with a napkin, knowing it probably wouldn’t do much good. 

“Sorry, Jo, I’m ungettable.” 

“Pacey, that’s not even a word.” 

“Did I say ungettable? I meant unforgettable.” 

Joey rolled her eyes, even though she was enjoying herself. Maybe their friendship wasn’t changing after all. 

Before she knew it, Pacey reached over and drew a heart on her forearm. 

“See, I’m good at art, too,” Pacey said with a small smile when he looked up at her. 

Joey caught his eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat, wondering why he chose that particular symbol to draw on her arm. Maybe his art talent was limited. 

She caught Pacey off guard when she snatched the highlighter from his hand. Soon, he was being bombarded by tiny, neon daggers, and he shielded his face with his arms. “Dammit, you got me!” 

Joey smiled as she recapped the highlighter and shoved it into her pocket. “Told you I would.” 

Pacey smiled back. “Do you have any idea how cute you look right now?” The words left his mouth before he could think about them. Once again, he was mentally kicking himself in the ass. 

Joey stared back at him and, before she could say anything back, someone cleared their throat behind them. They both turned to find Jack standing there, a not-so-happy look on his face. 

“This is my cue to exit,” Pacey said as he slipped off the stool. 

When Pacey left, Jack eyed Joey. “I, uh, was stopping by to see if you needed some company. Seems you had enough of that.” 

“Yeah, um, he just stopped by to grab something to eat,” Joey replied, suddenly remembering she had neon dots all over her face. 

“Oh,” Jack said, his eyes falling to the green heart drawn on her arm. “I didn’t know we provided entertainment along with the food.” 

“Jack,” Joey began. 

“Look, Joey, is there something going on between you and Pacey? If there is, don’t you think I deserve to know?” 

Joey sighed as she stood up. “No, there’s not. Pacey… he’s just my friend. Right now, he’s probably my best friend. We just goof around.” 

“That’s all it is?” Jack asked. “Goofing around?” 

“Yes.” She then hugged him, the smile slipping off her face. 

“Promise?” Jack asked as he hugged her back. 

Joey stared numbly at nothing in particular as she continued to hug him. “Promise.”


	12. The Dance

Jen slammed her locker shut and turned around, eager to get her school day over and done with, and prayed that her luck in not running into Dawson continued. 

“Hey, Jen, right?” 

“Yeah,” Jen said, surprised that someone was talking to her. Everyone treated her like she had the plague or something, well aside from Dawson and Pacey, but she wasn’t going to go there. 

“Uh, Chris, right?” 

“Yeah,” Chris Wolfe said with a smile. “Hey, I know it’s short notice, but I’ve seen you around and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to the dance with me tonight?” 

Jen was taken back by the invitation. She didn’t even know the guy, aside from the fact that he was on the football team and sat in the third row of her third-period Spanish class. 

Still, she was dateless, and he was cute. 

“Sure,” she said with a smile. “That sounds nice.”

“Great. You live next to Dunston Leery, right?” 

“Uh, Dawson. Yeah.” 

“Okay, I’ll pick you up at 7:30,” Chris said. “See ya later.” 

“Bye,” Jen said, giving him a short wave, thinking maybe her day wasn’t going to be so bad after all. 

~ 

“Chris Wolfe! She’s going with Chris Wolfe!” Dawson exclaimed as he and Joey walked down the hall. 

“Wait, I thought you and Jen weren’t talking?” Joey asked, confused. 

“We’re not, I heard Chris telling one of his friends in the lunch line,” Dawson said with a sigh. They stopped at his locker. “Why would she go with Chris?” 

Joey shrugged as she watched him dial his combination. “Let’s see, he’s good-looking, built like a Greek God, rich… you know, Dawson, you’re right. I don’t know what she sees in him,” she joked. 

“You’re not helping, Joey,” Dawson said as he shoved his books into his locker. “We all know Chris Wolfe only goes after girls for one thing.” 

“The same thing Jen goes after guys for?” Joey asked, lifting an eyebrow. 

Dawson sighed. “Joey, lighten up.” 

“Wait, let me get this straight. First Jen breaks up with you, then kisses your best friend, then tells you off and slaps you in the face, and you’re defending her to me?” 

“I deserved those things, Joey. As much as I don’t want to admit that, I did. Besides, none of those things had anything to do with you.” 

Joey sighed. “So I’ve heard.” 

“So, to sum it all up, I’m dateless.” 

“Dawson, please don’t tell me you are delusional enough to think that Chris Wolfe is the only reason Jen isn’t going to the dance with you,” Joey said with a smirk. 

“No, I’m just stating the obvious. You’re going with Jack, Pacey’s going with… wait, is Pacey going?” Dawson asked, having not spoken to Pacey since their blowout in the school hallway days before. Even their work schedules seemed to work out to where they didn’t have to see each other, which was one of God’s small favors. 

“Yeah, he, uh, he’s going with Jack’s sister,” Joey said, hating that she had to be once again reminded. 

“Andie?” Dawson asked, remembering his run-in with Andie the day before. He could have sworn they had shared a moment of some sort. Guess not. “Great, even Pacey has a date and I don’t. Explain to me how that happened.” 

“I think it’s the new haircut,” Joey joked. 

Dawson looked down the hall to see Pacey heading towards them. “I’ll catch up with you later,” he said before shutting his locker and walking away. 

Joey sighed and shook her head, hating the fact that Pacey and Dawson weren’t talking. 

“Hey, don’t leave on my account!” Pacey called out after Dawson before looking at Joey who was giving him the stink eye. “What?” 

“You need to talk to him.” 

“I’ve tried, plenty of times.” 

“When?” Joey asked, crossing her arms and tilting her head, knowing when he was lying. His eyes scrunched up, and his voice did this cute, little squeaky thing. 

“Never,” he admitted before sighing. “Look, Jo, I’m sick and tired of being Dawson’s sidekick, always being the one to run after him and apologize. Normally, I am the one to screw things up, but I have nothing to apologize for this time.” 

“I just hate seeing you two fight, that’s all. You guys are best friends.” 

“Well, when Dawson finally pulls his head out of his ass and apologizes, we’ll talk again,” Pacey said as they started walking down the hallway. “Besides, he didn’t actually stay to conversate just now.” 

“It’s converse.” 

“Must you always be so technical? I’ll have you know, Josephine, that conversate is in the dictionary as a slang term. Are you not down with the slang, Potter?” 

Joey smiled up at him and bumped her shoulder playfully against his. 

Pacey reached over and flipped her hair. “Did you do something different to your hair?” 

Joey was surprised he noticed when no one else had seemed to. “Yeah, I got a trim… you know, I have to look good for the dance tonight.” 

“There’s no doubt you will,” Pacey muttered as he shoved his hands into his pockets, his good mood vanishing. 

“So, how’d the tuxedo shirt work out for ya?” 

“My pops is pretty protective over that thing, so I went to the thrift store and bought me a spiffy-looking suit,” Pacey said proudly. “It cost me a dollar twenty-five.” 

“Well, for that price, it must really be something,” Joey quipped. 

“Oh, it is,” Pacey assured her. 

Joey beamed up at him, knowing that somehow he’d be able to pull wearing anything off. 

“Well, I gotta run. I’m trying this new thing now where I show up to classes on time and turn in homework. Crazy, huh?” Pacey said as he began walking backward. “I’ll see ya later?” 

Joey nodded as she tucked a chunk of hair behind her ear and watched as he turned and jogged down the hallway. 

“Hey, beautiful.” 

Joey turned to Jack and gave him a small smile, her heart feeling like it was beating in her ears. “H-hey.” 

Jack leaned in and brushed his lips softly against her forehead. 

That was when she felt it. 

Jack didn’t make her knees weak just by looking at her, or make her heart race in her chest, or cause her stomach to do that little flip thingy. When he grabbed for her hand and they started walking down the hallway, she didn’t hang onto every word that he said nor did she feel a spark of something rush through her when their hands met. 

She didn’t wake up every morning, eager to see him. She didn’t go to sleep every night with a smile on her face as she recalled something he’d said or done that day. Jack didn’t brighten up even her worse moods with just a few jokes like Pacey seemed to. 

Suddenly, everything hit her all at once, out of nowhere; the reason her and Dawson didn’t work out and were growing apart, the reason they had been spending so much time together, the reason the thought of Pacey kissing Jen numbed her insides, the burning jealousy over him taking Andie to the dance. 

Oh, this was bad. This was really, really bad. This was the worst possible kind of bad. This was open up the ground beneath your feet and swallow you whole, the earth will soon cease to exist, type of bad. 

She had a thang for Pacey Witter. 

In fact, she thought she might even be in love with him. 

Jack frowned when Joey stopped walking. “Are you okay?” 

“Um, yeah. Yeah,” Joey said, stumbling over her words. “Um, would you mind if I went to class alone? I have to stop by the bathroom first.” 

“Oh, yeah, no problem,” Jack said, giving her hand a small squeeze. 

Joey forced a small smile. She leaned up and kissed him chastely on the cheek before turning around, hanging her head and heading towards the nearest bathroom. She was relieved that it was empty. She closed the stall door behind her. She plopped down on the toilet and buried her head in her hands, her realization knocking the wind out of her. 

When had she lost her mind and developed feelings for Pacey? Pacey?! She didn’t know when or how it happened, just that it had. Like her life wasn’t complicated enough, she had to go and fall for the worst possible person she could fall for. The one person she couldn’t possibly be with. 

Pacey would never return those feelings, she already knew. And then there was Dawson to think about. She knew, even though their friendship seemed back to normal, that if she and Pacey ever did get together, he’d be crushed. Then there was Jack and Andie to think about. 

She let out a deep sigh and rubbed at her eyes, feeling the tears start to spring to her eyes. 

She heard the bathroom door open and close. She figured it was as good a time as any to head to class. She stood up and exited the stall, only to find Jen standing at the sinks, fixing her hair. 

“Great,” she mumbled. What were the chances? 

Jen looked at Joey through the mirror before turning to her. “Hey.” 

Joey didn’t greet her back, only went to the sink next to hers and began washing her hands, trying to get out of there as quickly as possible. 

Jen noticed Joey’s eyes were red around the edges. “Are you okay?” 

Joey gave Jen a hard look. “Don’t, okay?” 

Jen looked away and sighed. “You know, Joey, I always thought it was our mutual feelings we had for Dawson that kept us from being friends, I never considered that maybe you were just a bitch.” 

Joey looked at Jen, completely taken back by her words, but a small part of her realized Jen was right. “What did you expect, Jen? That you and Dawson would break up and suddenly you and I would have slumber parties, braid each other's hair, and skip down the hallways holding hands?” 

“No,” Jen said, “I thought maybe we could actually start having some civilized conversations.” 

Joey rolled her eyes and headed towards the door. “Don’t count on it.” 

“If you don’t like me because of our mutual feelings for Pacey, you can rest easy, Joey, because I’m over that,” Jen called out, causing Joey to stop at the door. “All I’m saying is that… it might be nice to have someone to talk to about it.” 

Joey turned around and glared at her. “And what makes you think I’d want to talk to you about it?” 

“Maybe because you can’t talk to anyone else about it,” Jen reasoned. “Look, Joey, I don’t want to be the enemy, okay? I want us to be friends.” 

Joey looked down at the ground, letting Jen’s words sink in. 

“You think that could be possible?” 

Joey looked back up at the girl, suddenly realizing for the first time that Jen was being genuine. “If there’s anything I’ve learned these past few weeks,” she said, breaking the awkward silence, “it’s that anything is possible.” 

Jen watched as Joey finally pulled the heavy door open and left. She smiled softly, thinking maybe there was hope for her and Joey being friends after all. 

~ 

Joey stared at her reflection in the mirror. 

“Jo, you look beautiful,” Bessie said. 

Joey rolled her eyes. “Bessie, it’s just a dress.” A dress she didn’t want to be wearing right then. Bessie had suggested they go dress shopping after school, eager to help her baby sister play dress up. After many colors, shapes, bows, and ruffles, Joey settled on a simple tan dress that cut off at her knees with spaghetti straps. After burrowing a pair of Bessie’s heels, the ensemble was almost complete. She just had to figure out something to do with her hair. 

“Well, you look amazing. You should wear dresses more often.” 

Joey gave Bessie the dirtiest look she could muster. “That ain’t going to happen.” It was one thing that she had fallen for Pacey and was considering being semi-civil with Jen, but dresses were out of the question. 

Bessie came up behind Joey and began pulling her hair back. “Now, we just need to do something with this mop of yours.” 

Joey swatted Bessie’s hands away. “Get! I’m not doing some fancy uppity do, so get that idea out of your head.” 

“Let me at least put some curls in it.” 

Joey considered that and nodded. “Agreed.” 

Bessie smiled as she went about putting curls at the ends of Joey’s hair. “You two are going to look so cute together. What time is he picking you up?” 

“His sister’s going to be with them, so they’re going to pick Pacey up first since he doesn’t live that far from them, so he should be here shortly.” 

“So, Pacey Witter finally got himself a girlfriend, huh?” Bessie asked, not knowing how much that comment pained her little sister. 

“She’s not his girlfriend, she’s just his date.” 

“Well, if they’re not a couple now, they will be after tonight,” Bessie said as she continued her curling. 

Joey eyed the curling iron in her sister’s hand, thinking up possible ways to kill her with it. 

Just then, the doorbell rang. 

“That’s him,” Joey said, eyeing her reflection in the mirror once more. She then wondered if maybe she had gone a little overboard with the lipstick and mascara she had put on. 

“You look great.” 

Joey sighed before making her way towards the door. 

~ 

“I am so excited,” Andie exclaimed in the front seat. “Aren’t you?” 

“Oh yeah, I can hardly contain my excitement,” Pacey grumbled as he stared out the window from the backseat. He watched from behind a foggy glass window as Joey opened the door. He then watched Jack take her hands into his and lean in to kiss her softly on the cheek. He then said something, which made Joey blush. Probably telling her how absolutely beautiful she looked. 

Andie turned around in her seat, unaware of Pacey’s inner turmoil. “You look nice,” she said. His white shirt was unbuttoned at the top, and he’d nixed the tie and jacket. His newly cropped hair was moussed, thanks to Doug’s vast array of hair products. He felt like an even bigger tool than Jack was. 

“Thanks, Andie, as do you,” he said with a smile, and she did in a coral-colored dress, her hair pulled halfway up. Still, she didn’t look quite as incredible as someone else. He looked back out of the window and realized Joey and Jack were heading towards the SAAB. 

As expected, Jack opened the door for her. 

Joey slipped into the back seat and sent Pacey a shy glance, feeling uncomfortable dressed like that in front of him. She didn’t think Pacey had ever seen her with a dress on, or even makeup. 

“Hey,” she said when Jack shut her door. 

“Hey,” Pacey whispered back, wanting to tell her how nice she looked, but couldn’t because of their current company. 

Joey watched as Pacey looked away and out his window, thinking how good he looked and wishing it had been him who had greeted her at the door moments before. 

Jack pulled out and began heading towards the school. 

“You guys have your dancing shoes on?” Andie called cheerfully from the front seat. 

Pacey and Joey gave each other looks then, wondering what the hell they had gotten themselves into. 

~ 

The school gymnasium looked like a scene straight from a cheesy, teen 90s movie. Streamers hung from the ceiling, balloons littered the floor, and too-loud pop music blasted from the speakers. 

Pacey and Joey looked around, feeling as if they were in hell. 

“This isn’t happening,” Joey mumbled, leaning closer to Pacey so Jack and Andie couldn’t hear. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.” 

“Oh my God, this is like soo great!” Pacey said in his best female voice, as his eyes went heavenward, and he twirled a short piece of his hair around his finger. 

They both shared a laugh before realizing Jack and Jen were looking at them. 

Jack was secretly irritated that all of Joey’s attention seemed to be focused on Pacey, so he stepped towards her and took her hand. “Wanna dance?” 

Without thinking about it, Joey snuck a quick look at Pacey before smiling softly at Jack. “Sure.” 

Pacey watched as Jack and Joey walked hand-in-hand onto the crowded dance floor. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he watched Jack pull Joey closer to him, his heart heavy in his chest. 

“So,” Andie said. “Do you wanna dance?” 

Pacey looked down at her and forced a chuckle. “Sorry, McPhee. I don’t dance.” 

Andie frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. “You don’t dance?” 

“Nope.” 

“Why not?” 

Pacey shrugged and narrowed his eyes. “I’ve never really been that good at it, to tell you the truth. So I save myself, and everyone else around me, the embarrassment, and I just don’t do it.” 

Andie dropped her arms to her sides and sighed. “But we’re at a school dance. How could you not dance, Pacey?” 

“I’m sorry, Andie,” Pacey said, not giving in. “I’m sure some guy out there would be more than happy to dance with you, someone without two left feet.” 

Andie looked away, not wanting to dance with some guy. She wanted to dance with him. “Well, I’ll go scope out my choices,” she mumbled. “I might be back,” she threw out as she walked away. 

Pacey watched after her with a sigh, feeling like an asshole right then. Andie really was a sweet girl, a beautiful girl, and he felt flattered that someone like her wanted him. Hell, he wished with everything in him that he wanted her back. 

He looked towards Jack and Joey and watched as they continued moving to the slow song. 

His life would be a hell of a lot easier, that was for sure. 

~ 

Andie spotted Dawson standing by himself and went over to him. “Hey!” 

Dawson looked at her and smiled. “Andie.” 

“Hey, why aren’t you dancing?” she asked with a frown. 

“Why aren’t you dancing?” Dawson asked back, not wanting to tell her he had been too busy watching Jen and Chris dancing. “You’re the one with the date.” 

“Pacey doesn’t dance,” Andie said with a sigh. 

“Oh, that’s right,” Dawson said. “The only dance Pacey knows how to do is the hokey-pokey, and even that’s debatable.” 

Andie frowned. “Aren’t you and Pacey best friends?” 

Dawson looked back out at Jen and Chris. “Long story,” he said, forgetting exactly why he wasn’t talking to Pacey. Pacey wasn’t the enemy anymore. He then looked back at Andie. “You wanna dance?” 

Andie’s eyes lit up. “Sure!” She took Dawson’s offered hand and followed him onto the dance floor, glad to finally get the chance to dance. 

~ 

After Jack excused himself to go to the bathroom, Joey walked over to Pacey, who was standing alone on the sidelines, a cup of punch in his hand. 

“Having fun?” 

“Tons,” Pacey said, lifting his cup to her. “All the fun I’m going to have tonight is in this cup.” 

Joey frowned. “Pacey, don’t tell me there’s alcohol in that cup.” 

“Only some, I promise,” Pacey answered. He then laughed. “No, there’s currently no alcohol in my drink, sadly.” 

Joey held his gaze for a beat longer before looking around. “Where’s Andie?” 

“Andie? Andie is currently dancing with our good friend Dawson,” he said before pointing towards the blond couple who were deep in conversation and all smiles as they danced. 

Joey watched as Andie and Dawson danced together. “And why is she dancing with Dawson and not you?” she said, looking back at Pacey with an arched brow. 

“Well, for one, I don’t dance, so I sent her to go look for a dance partner. And, considering Dawson’s either trying to piss me off or make Jen jealous, they both lucked out, I guess,” he said with a shrug before sipping his punch. 

Joey opened her mouth, wanting to ask Pacey why he didn’t seem more upset but was interrupted when Jack came back from the bathroom. He tossed Pacey a curt nod before looking at Joey and taking her hand. “You ready to go back out?” 

“For a straight man, Jack, you dance a lot,” Pacey said. 

Jack shot Pacey a look before leading Joey back to the dance floor. 

Pacey watched after them, once again alone with his punch. 

~ 

“So, I’m down at the seven-yard line and-” 

“Um, Chris, can you excuse me for just one second?” Jen said, interrupting his mind-numbing story. “I have to use the little girl’s room.” 

Chris’s face dropped, wanting to finish his tale. “Uh, sure.” 

Jen gave him a bright smile before turning her back to him, the smile slipping from her face. If she had to hear one more story about football or drinking, she was going to drown herself in the bowl of punch. 

Once she was out in the empty hallway, she let out a sigh of relief. 

“Hey.” 

Jen closed her eyes when he spoke from behind her. 

“I have nothing to say to you,” Jen said to Dawson, turning around and crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Jen, I said I was sorry, okay? What more do I have to say? We both messed up, we both hurt each other. Can’t we just move past that?” 

Jen looked at him before sighing. “Look, Dawson, can we not talk about this right now?” 

“But we will talk about it?” 

“Yes, Dawson, we’ll talk about it,” Jen said, turning to go into the bathroom. 

“So, Chris-“ 

“What I do with Chris is none of your business,” Jen snapped before going inside the restroom. 

Dawson stared at the closed door and scoffed. 

~ 

“You having fun?” 

Joey smiled up at Jack as they continued swaying to the cheesy love song. “Yeah, I am,” she said, not being completely honest. She hated the music, she hated the crowd, her feet were killing her in those shoes. Then there was the fact that she wanted to be dancing with someone else. 

As they slowly turned, Joey caught Pacey’s eyes over Jack’s shoulder, the smile slipping from her face. 

“You really look beautiful tonight, Joey,” Jack said, looking down at her, the admiration he felt for her shining in his eyes. 

Joey forced another smile, wishing with everything in her that she could take comfort in his compliment, but it only made her feel worse. “Thank you.” 

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to do all night,” Jack said. 

Joey tilted her head. “What’s that?” 

Jack suddenly leaned down and touched his lips to hers, the first kiss since the first time he had kissed her after their date. It took her by surprise and stole her breath away. Not in a good way. 

When they broke apart, Jack smiled at her and wrapped his arms tighter around her waist, pulling her closer. 

“I, Jack,” Joey began, at a loss for words. Suddenly, the slow song turned into an up-tempo one and she used that as an excuse to pull away. She suddenly felt dizzy. 

The smile slipped from Jack’s face. “Are you okay?” 

Joey looked towards where Pacey had been standing to find that he was gone. She looked back at Jack, not knowing what to say right then. Maybe she should do the right thing and tell him that she didn’t feel anything, that he wasn’t the one she wanted to be with, that she didn’t want to hurt him. 

“I, um, I need to go to the bathroom,” she said, coming up with the only excuse she could think of. She then forced a small smile for good measure. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Okay,” Jack said and stared at her dumbfoundedly as she turned and headed towards the exit. 

Andie came over. “Hey, have you seen my date? It’s bad enough he won’t dance with me, now I can’t even find him.” 

“I don’t even know where my date is,” Jack mumbled, his words holding a deeper meaning. 

~ 

Joey pushed through the metal doors and stood in the middle of the empty hallway, the music and voices now dim. She sighed and rubbed a hand over her face, contemplating leaving, going home, and crawling under her covers and never coming out. Maybe she’d pack up her stuff and move to Canada, it would not only make her life easier, but everyone else’s as well. She wouldn’t have to hurt Jack, or be tortured every time she was in Pacey’s presence, or feel guilty when she was in Dawson’s. Her life wouldn’t be so complicated anymore. 

She turned around and looked up to find Pacey standing no more than fifteen feet from her, his hands shoved in his pockets, and his eyes on her. 

“Pacey? What are you doing out here?” Joey asked, tentatively walking towards him. 

Pacey shrugged nonchalantly, even though his heart was thumping in his chest. The truth of the matter was he had seen the kiss Jack had laid on Joey, and he had to get out of there as fast as he could. 

“You know me, I can only handle so much excitement for one evening.” 

“You’re leaving already?” Joey asked, frowning. 

“I think so, yeah,” Pacey said. “If you see Andie, can you tell her I’m sorry? I’m just not having a good time.” 

Joey crossed her arms over her chest and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll tell her.” 

Pacey forced a small smile, wanting to say more right then, particularly that seeing another man’s lips on hers killed him a little on the inside. 

“Go back to your date, Potter. Go have fun,” he insisted, wanting her to be happy no matter how much it hurt, and seeing her and Jack kiss only made it obvious that she was happy. Happy with someone else. Someone who wasn’t like him. 

He would never be able to make her happy, he knew that. He always had. But he'd hung onto that small shred of hope and now that was gone. 

“See ya, Jo,” he said before turning around and hanging his head, throwing in the towel. 

He was several feet away from her when she called after him. 

“Dance with me.” 

The words slipped out of her mouth before she could even think about them, but she wasn’t ready to watch him leave just yet. She watched as he slowly turned around and looked at her, his confusion evident. 

She shrugged a shoulder. “I just figured… you can’t go to a school dance and not dance.” 

“You’re forgetting, Potter,” he said after a beat, his voice husky. “I don’t dance.” 

Joey watched as he walked towards her, stopping a foot away from her. Her heart raced in her chest, and she suddenly found herself nervous. Since when did Pacey Witter make her nervous instead of nauseous? Since when did she want to kiss him instead of kick him? 

“Come on, Witter,” she teased, slapping his arm playfully. “There’s nobody around. You know you want to.” 

“I love it when you beg, Josephine.” 

Joey smirked and was about to retort, but the words were lost when he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her up against him, causing her to stumble slightly. She lifted her eyes to his and swallowed the lump in her throat. 

“Just remember,” Pacey whispered. “I warned you.” 

“Show me what you got, Witter,” Joey said, pretending as if being that close to him wasn’t making her knees weak, that the soft wisps of his breath on her face wasn’t giving her butterflies, or the strong arm around her waist wasn’t causing quivers to run up and down her spine. 

Slowly, they began swaying to music that wasn’t there. After a few heartbeats, Joey said, “See, you’re not so bad.” 

Pacey smiled softly down at her as they continued dancing. For the first time in a long time, he was exactly right where he wanted to be, even if it was just for the night. 

Joey wrapped her arms around his neck and remained pressed close against him, realizing how well they fit together, how right his arms felt around her. 

Pacey closed his eyes and sighed as he leaned in a little, pressing his cheek against hers. One arm remained around her waist as the other moved higher, slowly rubbing up her back and then back down. 

They continued dancing slowly, their hands roaming, and their cheeks rubbing affectionately, both lost in the moment. 

Both not noticing Andie at the end of the hall, watching them.


	13. Aftershock

Joey pulled away and slowly lifted her eyes to meet Pacey’s confused ones. Their dancing stopped, but they remained embraced. “Pace,” she whispered, her eyes falling to his lips. 

Pacey reached up and touched her cheek with the back of his hand. 

Someone cleared their throat behind them and it took a full moment for it to register that they shouldn’t be doing this, even though it felt so right, that they both had their respective dates waiting for them. 

Joey pulled away from Pacey, her heart pumping in her throat. She stared up into his eyes only to find him looking past her, down the hall. She turned to find Andie watching them, her arms crossed, and her earlier bubbly mood vanished. 

“I, um,” Joey stammered, trying to piece together her thoughts, trying to get her beating heart under control. 

“Your date’s looking for you, Joey,” Andie said, her tone anything but casual. “You remember, my brother?” 

Joey tucked her hair behind her ear and nodded before heading towards the gymnasium doors and back to the dance, allowing a loud string of current pop music to escape before leaving Andie and Pacey in awkward silence once more. 

Pacey ran a hand through his hair, his mind reeling from his dance with Joey. If he hadn’t known better, he could have sworn she had wanted him to kiss her… 

“I thought you didn’t dance, Pacey,” Andie said, sounding and looking hurt. 

“Andie,” Pacey began, hating the hurt look on her face. Sure, he didn’t care about Andie in that way, but he did care about her as a friend. She was an incredible person, and she didn’t deserve to be hurt. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. 

“I thought you didn’t dance, Pacey,” she repeated flatly. 

Pacey opened his mouth to answer but only sighed, not knowing what he could say. He wasn’t even sure what had just happened. 

“So, Joey, huh?” Andie continued when she realized he wasn’t going to offer an explanation. “Why did you even come here with me tonight, Pacey, when it’s so obvious you wanted to come with her?” 

“It’s not what you think, Andie,” Pacey finally said tiredly. 

Andie looked away from him. “I’m so stupid,” she said, her voice soft now. “I should have seen it.” 

“I’m sorry, Andie.” 

Andie looked back at him. “You know what? You don’t owe me an apology, Pacey,” she said after a strenuous pause. “You don’t owe me anything. We’re nothing to each other. But my brother? He deserves to know.” 

“There’s nothing to know,” Pacey said, suddenly feeling exhausted. “We’re just friends. We were just dancing.” 

“It didn’t look that way to me,” Andie retorted. “He likes her, Pacey. A lot. He deserves to know. If you guys don’t tell him, I will.” 

“There’s nothing-” 

“I know what I saw, Pacey!” Andie interrupted. “I saw how she was looking at you. You don’t look at someone like that and say they’re just a friend.” 

Pacey shoved his hands into his pockets and stared down at his shoes. 

“Tell him or I will, Pacey,” Andie warned before going back inside the gym. 

Pacey stood in the empty hallway, staring at the spot where Joey had been just moments before. 

~ 

Joey found Jack standing near the punch table, mindlessly sipping his drink from a blue plastic cup as he eyed the dance floor. 

“Hey,” she breathed when she reached him. 

“Hey!” Jack said, turning fully towards her. “Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you.” 

“I, um, needed to get some air,” Joey lied. “Hey, do you mind if we get out of here? I don’t feel so good.” She wanted to be as far away from there as possible. She always knew there was a reason she despised school dances. 

Jack looked disappointed. “Yeah,” he said. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m feeling a little dizzy. I don’t feel like being here right now.” 

Just then, Andie came walking up to them, shooting Joey a knowing glare before turning her attention to her brother. “What’s going on?” 

“I’m gonna take Joey home,” Jack answered. “You and Pacey want to come with or stay here?” 

“No, I’m gonna stay,” Andie answered. 

“But you need a ride… “ 

“I’ll see if Dawson or someone can give me one,” Andie insisted with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Besides, you and Joey should be alone.” She looked at Joey pointedly. “Maybe you guys can talk.” 

Joey looked away from Andie’s accusing stare and mindlessly accepted Jack’s hand in hers. 

“You sure?” Jack asked. 

“Yeah, go ahead.” 

After saying goodbye to Andie, Jack and Joey headed out of the gymnasium. They walked quietly to the parking lot and Jack opened the door for her. Once they were in the SAAB, Jack didn’t start the car, only turned to her. 

“You want to go straight home or do you want to go somewhere else?” Jack asked, reaching over and brushing a chunk of hair from her face. “Maybe go get something to eat? It’s up to you.” 

Joey stared down at her hands, fighting back tears. She finally looked at Jack, thinking about how sweet he was. 

How could she be so cruel to someone like him? He was wonderful; more than someone like her deserved. And she liked him, how could she not? He was almost perfect. Still, it didn’t feel right. Even though he was caressing her cheek and being so nice, she couldn’t help thinking about the way someone else had been caressing her only minutes before. 

“I just want to go home,” she finally answered, wanting to crawl up in her bed and close out the outside world. 

Jack nodded, looking bummed, and unlocked his hand from hers. “Okay,” he said before starting up the car and pulling out of the parking lot. 

Joey rested her head back and stared out the window on the way home, noticing a lone figure walking on the side of the road. 

“Isn’t that Pacey?” Jack asked, pulling over before she could answer. 

Joey sat up a little straighter and waited with bated breath as Pacey walked up to the window. They held each other's stare for a split second before he looked away and leaned into the window to look at Jack. 

The faint smell of his cologne sent her heart racing all over again, and her mind drifted back to their dance until her boyfriend started speaking. 

“You need a ride?” Jack asked. 

“No, thanks,” Pacey said. “I need to walk to clear my head.” 

“Okay,” Jack replied. “Talk to you later.” He pulled away, secretly glad that Pacey hadn’t wanted the ride. Pacey had interrupted enough of his and Joey’s time. 

When they reached Joey’s house a few minutes later, Jack cut the engine. He glanced over at Joey who appeared to be in a whole different world. “Joey?” 

Joey looked at him, a small, forced smile tugging at her lips. 

“I take it you didn’t have a good time tonight.” 

Joey reached over and grabbed his hand, wanting so badly to feel something stronger for him. Things would be so much easier. “Don’t take it personally,” she said. “I hate school dances,” she finished, trying to lighten the mood even though her heart was heavy. 

“So, it’s not me then?” 

Joey knew in her heart that she sound tell him. He didn’t deserve to be led on, but something in his eyes kept her from saying the words; kept her from admitting that she was in love with someone else. 

In love with Pacey. 

“No, Jack, it’s not you,” she mumbled, squeezing his hand, and knowing her words held more meaning than he could know. 

“You amaze me, Joey Potter,” Jack said. “I never felt this way about a girl before, especially so fast, but,” he paused. “God, I sound so gay right now.” 

“No,” Joey said, squeezing his hand again. “You don’t sound gay, Jack.” 

“I’ve just never met anyone like you,” Jack finished, his voice soft. 

Joey pulled her eyes away from his, his words making everything harder than it already was. How could she possibly tell him now? 

“I’ll let you get inside,” Jack said, bringing her hand to his mouth and kissing her knuckle. “Get some rest.” 

Joey nodded numbly and watched as he got out of the car and came around to her side to open the door. She got out and was suddenly face to face with him. 

Jack leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. 

Joey kissed him back, wishing with everything in her that she could feel something. When he wrapped his arms around her waist, she let him. 

Jack pulled away from the kiss and then pressed his lips to her forehead. “Goodnight.” 

“Night,” Joey said before walking up the porch steps. She gave him a wave before disappearing into her house. She leaned back against the door and finally allowed the tears she had been holding in to slide miserably down her cheeks. 

~ 

After keeping busy on Saturday and Sunday with homework and housework and thanking God for the small favor of being off work those two days, Joey realized that Monday had come too fast. She had ignored two calls from Dawson and three from Jack, begging Bessie to make up excuses for her so she could delay the inevitable. 

The only person she might have accepted a call from was Pacey, and he hadn’t even bothered. 

She mindlessly walked to her locker and dialed the familiar combination. 

“Where were you yesterday, I called,” Dawson whined, suddenly beside her, his thumbs hooked under the straps of his backpack. “I was gonna see if you wanted to hang out.” 

“Sorry, I meant to call you back, but I was busy,” Joey answered as she grabbed her books. 

“Bessie said you were sick,” Dawson said, his eyebrows furrowing. 

“I was busy being sick.” 

Dawson seemed satisfied with that. “Why did you leave the dance early on Friday?” 

Joey sighed, wishing Dawson would leave her alone. She already had enough questions she needed to answer. “I didn’t feel good, so Jack took me home.” 

“Oh,” Dawson replied. “Well, Jen ignored me the whole time, and I spent the rest of my night with Andie, who is actually good company. She talks a lot, but she’s interesting.” 

It relieved Joey that Dawson’s attention was once again on himself. 

“I don’t know what to do about Jen,” Dawson continued. “She barely even looks at me.” 

Joey looked at Dawson, intent on adding to the conversation, no matter how lame it was, but she caught sight of Pacey coming down the hall over his shoulder, and she suddenly forgot what she was going to say. 

“I think she,” Dawson continued before realizing Joey wasn’t paying attention. He turned to follow her stare to find Pacey heading towards them. He scoffed. “That’s my cue to exit stage left,” he said before walking away. 

When Pacey reached her, Joey nervously tucked her hair behind her ears. “Hey,” she said shyly. 

Pacey glanced into her eyes for a moment before looking down at his shoes, suddenly feeling nervous. He had been intent on sucking everything up and walking up to her as if nothing had changed, but that idea had vanished as soon as he looked into her eyes. 

Joey watched as he ran a hand through his hair and looked everywhere but at her. “Pace?” she said, hating the awkwardness. 

Pacey finally looked at her. “What happened the other night, Jo?” he blurted. 

Joey shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know,” she lied. 

“You don’t have a better answer than that, huh?” 

“What do you want me to say, Pacey?” 

Pacey sighed, frustrated. “Anything would be nice.” 

Before Joey could answer, Jack picked that exact moment to walk up. He draped an arm around her shoulder and planted a kiss to her temple. 

“Hey.” 

Joey, who still had her eyes on Pacey, said, “Hey.” 

“What were you guys talking about?” 

“Nothing important,” Pacey snapped before walking away from the couple. 

Joey bit her bottom lip and focused her eyes on the floor. She didn’t know what Pacey had wanted her to say, and she was afraid to say what she had actually wanted to say, in fear that she would scare him off. 

Damn, she was starting to feel like Dawson, analyzing everything to where her head hurt. 

“How are you feeling?” Jack asked, standing in front of her. 

“Huh?” Joey asked, coming back to reality. 

“I called a few times over the weekend. Bessie said that you were still sick,” Jack said, hefting his backpack higher onto his shoulder. 

“Oh, um, it was just a forty-eight-hour stomach thingy,” Joey answered. 

“Oh, well, I’m glad you’re feeling better,” he said with a smile. 

“Thank you,” Joey said before accepting a soft kiss on the lips. She pulled back almost immediately. “I have to get to class. We’re having a test today and I want to take a few minutes to go through my notes,” she lied, not wanting to be around him right then. Not wanting to lie to him any more than she had to. 

“Okay,” Jack said. “See you at lunch?” 

Joey nodded and forced a fake smile before letting go of his hand and turning to walk away. Only when her back was turned did the smile slip from her face. 

~ 

“Hey, gorgeous.” 

Jen looked up from doodling in her notebook and smiled when she saw who was sitting at the desk in front of her. “Hello, yourself.” 

Chris shot her his sparkling grin before letting his eyes fall to the doodles of hearts and flowers on her paper. “I didn’t know you were an artist.” 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” Jen answered, thinking how sexy he looked in that shirt. Aside from his torturous football stories, Chris turned out to be a nice guy. The fact that he was gorgeous didn’t hurt either. 

“There’s a lot I want to get to know about you,” Chris said with a wink. 

“I bet you say that to all the girls.” 

“Only the absolute gorgeous ones.” 

“Are you trying to get into my pants?” Jen teased. 

“Only if you’ll let me,” Chris countered without missing a beat. “Listen, my parents are out of town for the next few days. I was thinking about having a few friends over for a party tonight. I have a hot tub if you’re interested.” 

It was on the tip of Jen’s tongue to agree, but she didn’t want to fall back into her old New York ways. She was trying to change and jumping into bed with Chris Wolfe so soon wouldn’t help anything. But damn did he look good…

“I don’t know-“ 

“I promise I’m harmless. You can bring some of your friends if you want to,” he said as he stood up. “Think about it.” 

“I will,” Jen said with a smile and then watched him walk away. She would definitely think about it. 

~ 

Thankfully, Jack was off from work that evening, so Joey didn’t have to bother putting on a facade. It was slower than normal, which was another one of God’s small favors. 

She sat at the counter, trying to concentrate on her homework, even though her mind was elsewhere. 

“Hi, Joey.” 

Just when she was thinking things couldn’t possibly get any worse… 

Joey looked over her shoulder at Jen. “Hey,” she answered. “Can I help you?” 

Jen ignored the bitter edge to Joey’s tone and slipped into the stool next to hers. “I’m just here picking up an order for Grams. She loves Bodie’s shrimp alfredo.” 

Joey frowned down at her notebook, not knowing what to make of the situation. She felt as if she was living in the Twilight Zone. First, she fell for Pacey. Now, Jen was talking to her as if they were best friends. 

“You okay?” 

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Joey spat, tucking her hair behind her ear before going back to her writing. 

After an awkward silence, Jen asked, “Not that I care much, but how’s Dawson?” 

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” Joey snapped. 

“I’m not ready to talk to him just yet.” 

“Then maybe you shouldn’t care how he’s doing,” Joey retorted, knowing that Jen had every right to be mad at Dawson, but feeling she still needed to defend her best friend. 

Jen sighed and looked away. “I’m trying here, Joey,” she said. “I could really use a friend, and I think maybe you could, too.” 

“You know nothing about me.” Joey suddenly felt bad. She reluctantly looked over at Jen, wondering why she still disliked the girl so much. 

“There’s a party tonight, at Chris Wolfe’s house. Why don’t you come?” Jen asked before she could stop herself. 

Joey couldn’t help but laugh at that. “A party? Chris Wolfe’s? Uh, no thanks.” 

“It might be fun.” 

“Doubtful. The last thing I wanna do is go to a party.” 

“You don’t want to,” Jen said, “but maybe you need to?” 

Joey looked away and thought about that. Maybe Jen was right, maybe she needed a night to get away, a night to drown her sorrows in alcohol, a night to hang out with someone who didn’t have a penis. 

“I don’t know…” 

It surprised Jen that Joey seemed to be considering it. Maybe she didn’t have such a big stick up her butt after all. 

“I guess I can go,” Joey answered before she could rethink her decision. What was the worst that could happen? If she didn’t have fun, she could leave. Besides, the chances of Jack or Pacey being there were slim. 

“Really?” Jen asked, bewildered. 

“Yeah, what the hell.” 

Jen smiled. “Okay, well, Chris is picking me up so I can have him swing by to pick you up after… around nine?” 

Joey nodded. “Sure.” 

“Okay, see you tonight, Joey,” Jen said before leaving, taking her take-out with her. 

Joey watched after the girl with a smirk, suddenly realizing that she should never unexpect the unexpected again. 

Just as Jen was leaving the restaurant, she bumped into Jack. “Hey, Jack right?” 

Jack smiled. “Jen? How’s it going?” 

“Good, I’m in a hurry,” Jen said, not wanting her Grams food to get cold. “You coming to the party tonight? Joey said she was going.” 

“Then I guess I’m coming to the party tonight,” Jack said with a laugh. 

~ 

Pacey, in his usual position with his feet propped on the counter, tried to focus on the movie playing on the small television in front of him, though it was no use. No matter how hard he tried, a certain Potter girl kept sneaking her way into his thoughts. 

Just then, he looked up to find Abby Morgan making her way towards the counter, a smirk on her face. 

“What’s up, lame-o?” 

“Come out for your nightly feeding, Abby?” Pacey answered back, not in the mood for banter right then. 

“Why are you so down, Pacey? Starting to realize just how big of a loser you are?” Abby bit back before leaning against the counter. “What are you watching? Dustin Does Dallas?” 

“Abby, go away,” Pacey said with a sigh. 

Abby looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “What, no comeback? What’s wrong with you, Witter?” 

“Right, like I’d tell you,” Pacey said with a sarcastic chuckle. 

Abby racked her brain, trying to remember if she’d heard any gossip concerning Pacey and his lame-ass crew, a reason he wasn’t being his dumb, sarcastic self. She’d have to look into that… 

“Did you hear Chris Wolfe is having a party?” she asked. “You and your band of brain dead buddies coming?” she asked, hoping they were so she could get some dirt. 

Pacey perked up at the mention of a party. A party with alcohol, a place where none of his friends would be caught dead at, especially Joey. 

“I’m there,” he said without hesitation.


	14. Unclear, not-so-unwavering Terms

Joey studied her reflection in the mirror and sighed. She lifted her hair on top of her head and held it there, turning her face from side to side and sucking in her cheeks before letting her tresses fall back into place around her shoulders. 

Maybe she should go blond… 

“Jack’s here,” Bessie said from the bathroom doorway. 

Joey nodded as she continued inspecting her reflection. When she’d first accepted Jen’s invitation to go to Chris Wolfe’s party, a big reason for her decision was the chance to get away from Pacey and Jack, a chance to down a few beers and forget about her problems for once; the biggest problem being the fact that she was smack dab in the middle of a love triangle she never thought she’d be in. 

Jack had called earlier to inform her he was also attending the party and wanted to go together. After all, that was what couples did, wasn’t it? So why did she feel as if she had been obligated to say yes to him? 

She also couldn’t help but try to remember exactly when she and Jack had become an official couple? She didn’t remember ever discussing it. Was it just implied after a few dates? The way Jack acted, they had been going out for months. He seemed a little too clingy. Needy? Desperate? Something definitely seemed a little off. 

She forced those thoughts away, knowing that she was only trying to find any reason to justify the guilt she felt. 

“You look nice,” her sister said, breaking her from her reverie. 

“It’s just lip gloss,” Joey mumbled, dropping her eyes to her hands as she recapped the tube. 

“You okay?” Bessie asked. 

“Yeah,” Joey said, finally turning away from the mirror. “Yeah, I’m fine.” 

“Is there something you maybe wanted to talk about?” 

“No. Should there be?” 

“I’ve just noticed you haven’t been yourself the past couple of days,” Bessie continued. “And I also can’t help but notice Pacey hasn’t been around as much.” 

Joey shrugged a shoulder, not wanting to get into that subject with her sister. “Well, we both have… people now.” 

“People?” 

“Yeah. I’m with Jack and he’s… seeing Andie.” She couldn’t help but wonder if Pacey and Andie did still have a thing after what had happened at the dance. 

“You’re okay with that? With Pacey having a person now?” 

Joey frowned. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“No reason,” Bessie said before smiling knowingly. “Have fun tonight, but not too much fun. No alcohol, be home by eleven.” 

Joey sighed once Bessie left and turned back towards the mirror. She took a deep breath and finally went to greet Jack. 

~ 

Pacey was already on his third beer when he spotted Jen through the crowd. “Hey, Lindley. You’re lookin’ all kinds of cute tonight.” 

Jen turned around and smiled when she saw who it was. “Hey you, keep the flattery to yourself. You had your chance.” 

Pacey smiled and dipped his head. 

“I didn’t know you were coming.” 

Pacey lifted his cup in the air before taking another gulp. “I needed a night of mindless drinking and general teenaged debauchery. Things were getting a little too serious around here for me.” 

“I know what you mean,” Jen said, taking a sip of her own beer, eyeing him over the rim of her cup. 

“I usually stay away from these types of situations, but when I heard there was free beer and a hot tub involved, I couldn’t stay away.” 

“Yeah, Chris bribed me with the hot tub, too.” 

“What’s going on with you and Wolfe, anyway?” 

Jen shrugged. “He’s cute and, from what I can tell, seems nice. He doesn’t seem to want anything serious, and I think that’s just what I may need right now.” 

Pacey laughed. “He’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I wouldn’t trust that guy as far as I could throw him.” 

“I’ve dealt with worse before,” Jen replied. “I think I’ll be okay.” 

“This isn’t some sick way to get back at Dawson, is it?” 

“Nope,” Jen answered. “I’ll leave the dating other people to make each other jealous to you and Joey.” 

Pacey scoffed into his cup as he took another gulp. “There’s no pretending here. Joey’s clarified that she wants to be with Jack.” 

“Has she said that?” 

“Yes.” 

“In clear, unwavering terms, has she said that?” 

“Hey, we were talking about you here.” 

Jen smirked before looking over Pacey’s shoulder. “Well, they’re here.” 

Pacey turned and watched as Jack and Joey entered the party. He suddenly wished he was somewhere else, anywhere else. Joey was walking in front of Jack, her eyes wide with wonder as she took in her surroundings. Jack was behind her, a hand on the small of her back. 

“Great.” He downed the rest of his beer before going for another.

~ 

Joey halted when she noticed Jen and Pacey standing a few yards away. 

“You okay?” Jack asked before following her stare. When he saw Pacey, he sighed, removing his hand from her back. 

“Yeah,” Joey said, turning to look at him. “I’m just uncomfortable in these types of situations.” 

“Uncomfortable at parties, or uncomfortable seeing Pacey talking to someone else?” 

Joey opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Finally, she said, “What? Why would… why would I care if Pacey is talking to Jen?” 

Jack sighed. “Forget I said that.” 

Joey nodded, knowing a statement like that coming from a boyfriend should be talked about immediately, but she wanted to stay far away from that topic. 

Jack grabbed her hand. “Let’s go say hi.” 

Joey reluctantly followed him, feeling as if she was being dragged towards the edge of a cliff. 

“Hey,” Pacey said when they reached them, looking directly into her eyes. 

And she was falling. 

“Hey, I’m glad you guys came,” Jen said. “Come on, I’ll show you where the keg is,” she said, wrapping her arm through Jack’s and pulling him away, knowing Pacey and Joey needed a moment to themselves. 

Joey looked down at her shoes and tucked a chunk of hair behind her ear once they were alone. 

“You look nice.” 

She finally looked up and allowed herself to look in his eyes. “Thanks.” 

“So,” Pacey continued, suddenly finding it hard to form coherent thoughts with her looking at him the way she was. “I’m assuming Andie said nothing to Jack?” 

“No, I don’t think so. If she did, he hasn’t mentioned anything.” 

“Are you going to tell him?” 

“Tell him what, Pacey? That I danced with one of my good friends at a school dance?” 

“That’s all it was to you?” 

Joey sighed. “Pacey, don’t do this, okay? Don’t analyze this to death. Can’t we just forget about it and go back to the way things were? It was just a dance.” 

Pacey nodded and looked away. “Yeah. Okay.” 

Joey watched him, wanting to tell him the truth, that it was so much more than two friends dancing. She wanted to tell him that she couldn’t stop thinking about him, or wanting to be near him, or wanting to kiss him all the time. But she couldn’t… because he was the fantasy, and she had Jack to think about. She would not risk everything, her friendship with Pacey or Dawson and a relationship with a great guy like Jack on a chance; a chance that maybe Pacey felt the same way. 

As Joey stewed in her own thoughts, Pacey considered Jen’s words. Had Joey claimed in clear, unwavering terms that Jack was the guy she wanted to be with? 

Maybe he’d been imagining things; the looks she gave him, all the times she wanted to hang out for no reason at all, the way she had felt so comfortable being in his arms as they danced… 

“Can I ask you something?“ Pacey asked. “One thing and I’ll leave this alone.” 

Joey nodded. 

“You really like him, don’t you? Jack?” 

“I think he’s good for me,“ Joey said after a beat. “You know, we… we have tons in common and… we have fun and…” 

“Yeah,” Pacey said with an airy laugh, getting his answer and feeling as if he’d been punched in the gut. He finally had his answer, in clear, unwavering terms. “Okay.” 

Joey watched him as he hung his head. “Pacey, I…” 

“Here, I got you a beer,” Jack said, suddenly rejoining them, holding a red cup for Joey to take. “Don’t worry, I didn’t slip you anything,” he joked, but it came out awkwardly. He coughed into his fist, wishing he could take it back. 

“Thanks,” Joey said, grabbing the cup and taking a sip. 

“Well, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone,” Pacey said, his eyes locked with Joey’s. “I’m gonna go get my own refill and see what else this party has to offer.” 

“Hey, Pacey,” Jack called out as Pacey turned to leave. “Maybe you could give my sister a call and see what she’s up to tonight. I know she’d like that.” 

Pacey nodded his head curtly as he looked in Joey’s eyes once more, searching for something that wasn’t there. “Yeah. Yeah, maybe I’ll do that.” 

Joey watched as Pacey disappeared through the crowd, her own heart sinking in her chest. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah,” Joey said with a forced half-smile. “Yeah, I’m okay.” 

Jack smiled and then they stood awkwardly as the party went on around them. 

~ 

“Where exactly are you taking me?” 

“You’ll see,” Chris said as he led Jen through the backyard. 

In the back of Jen’s hazy, alcohol-induced mind, she knew she should go back to the party and find Pacey or Joey and call it a night, knowing it was already nearing eleven o’clock and her Grams would wonder where she was. 

“Here we are,” Chris said once they reached the hot tub. 

“I don’t have a suit.” 

“Who says you need a suit?” Chris asked before laughing at the look she gave him. “I’m kidding.” He pulled a skimpy swimsuit from his back pocket and handed it to her. “We keep spare suits around.” 

“You bring a lot of girls to your hot tub?” Jen asked as she lifted the tiny red bikini and eyed it. 

“Maybe,” Chris answered, “but none as sexy as you.” 

Before Jen could respond, Chris’s hungry mouth was on hers. She knew she was treading on dangerous ground, but she succumbed to his kisses and allowed herself to get lost in his arms. 

Despite all of her recent progress, it wouldn’t hurt to let loose for one night. 

~ 

Pacey stood in the front yard and stared up at the massive house, suddenly realizing how different he and Andie were, and wondering what the blonde saw in him. He really was lucky to have someone like Andie even throw a glance in his direction, let alone want to be with him. 

Slowly, he made his way up the porch steps and rang the doorbell, half expecting a butler to answer the door. Instead, it was Andie looking achingly adorable with her hair pulled back and dressed in a pink tank top and pink, cotton pajama bottoms, complete with sheep. 

“Pacey? What are you doing here?” 

“I, uh…” Pacey began, not even sure why he’d come. He’d left the party, wanting to get as far away from Joey and Jack as possible, and had ended up there. “I wanted to apologize for the other night… for what you saw at the dance.” 

“You mean you and Joey dancing after you vehemently told me you didn’t dance?” 

“Yeah… that. You didn’t deserve that.” 

Andie sighed. “Look, Pacey, you don’t have to explain anything to me, okay? I’ll be honest. I like you. I really like you, but…” 

Before Pacey could think about what he was doing, he stepped forward, cupped a hand behind her neck, and pulled her in for a quick, sweet kiss. 

When they broke apart, Andie’s eyes were still closed as her lips curled into a small smile. She opened her eyes and let out a breath. 

“I screwed up,” Pacey said, his voice low and husky. “You think maybe I can get another chance here?” 

“Under one condition,” Andie replied. “Promise me that there’s nothing going on between you and Joey.” 

“There is absolutely nothing at all going on between me and Joey,” Pacey promised, leaving out the part that there was nothing going on only because Joey didn’t want there to be. 

Andie smiled. 

“So, how about tomorrow night I pick you up, take you out on a real date?” 

“I say… I’ll be ready at eight.” 

Pacey returned her smile even though his heart was aching on the inside. 

~ 

Dawson paused the movie for the third time and sighed before finally shutting the television off completely. Ever since he had gotten a call a few hours before from Jen’s grandmother asking if he’d seen her, he hadn’t been able to concentrate on much of anything. 

The fact that he had called Joey’s house to see if she had heard anything only to find out from Bessie that she was still not home from a party she had gone to with Jack didn’t help matters any. 

In the silence, he heard the faint sound of a car door shutting. He walked to the window and pulled the curtains back, just in time to see Jen getting out of Chris Wolfe’s SUV. He frowned, his heart aching in his chest, wondering why Chris would be dropping Jen off at almost two in the morning. 

He let the curtains fall back into place but stood in the same spot for what seemed like forever, trying to understand what he had just seen and wondering what it meant. 

~ 

When Joey woke up the next morning, she found Bessie hovering over her, her hands on her hips, and her scowl firmly in place. “Bessie, not now.” 

“I thought I was specific last night when I said no drinking and be home by eleven?” 

“I had one beer, and I was home by 11:30.” 

Bessie sighed, allowing her that compromise. “Well, get your butt up and get ready. Your shift starts in half an hour.” 

Joey rolled her eyes as she pushed herself into a sitting position. 

“By the way, did you see Jen last night? Dawson called a little after eleven, said her grandmother was looking for her.” 

Joey rubbed at her sleepy eyes. “Um, she was at the same party we were at, but I didn’t really see much of her. She was off with Chris Wolfe most of the night.” 

“Oh, well, maybe give Dawson a call. He seemed worried,” Bessie said as she left the room. 

Joey laid back down and stared at the ceiling, wishing she could go back to sleep, not wanting to deal with anything today. She didn’t want to call Dawson and hear him wax poetry about another girl. She didn’t want to go to work and keep pretending she liked Jack more than she did. She didn’t want to run into Pacey and do the opposite. 

She groaned and placed her pillow over her face, wondering if it was possible to suffocate oneself that way. 

~ 

Dawson stopped raking and looked over towards the Ryan household in time to see Jen come out. “Hey,” he called out, noticing Jen was holding a rake as well. 

“Hey,” Jen answered back, avoiding his stare. She didn’t want him to see that she was hungover or the hickeys that bruised her neck. She had already gotten an hour-long lecture from Grams, she didn’t need one from him, too. 

Dawson crossed his hands over the handle of the rake as he watched her. “I bet your Grams was relieved to see you come home. She called me last night. She was really worried.” 

“Yeah, well, she wasn’t happy about it at all,” Jen explained as she began raking. “She’s been trying to think of a suitable punishment all morning and decided she’d start with sending me out here to rake the leaves after seeing you out here. So, thanks for that.” 

Dawson watched her before sighing. “I saw Chris drop you off last night. Or should I say this morning?” 

Jen stopped raking and faced him. “Don’t, Dawson.” 

“Jen, what are you doing?” 

“It’s none of your business.” 

“Despite what you may think, I care about you, Jen.” 

“Did you care about me when you pined after Joey while we were together? Did you care when you kissed her a few hours after we broke up, or was it when you called me a whore in front of half the school?” 

“Jen, I apologized for those things.” 

“What I do with my life is not your concern, Dawson.” 

“I don’t wanna see you get hurt. Chris is bad news, Jen, and he will only drag you down.” 

“He made me feel better about myself last night than you ever did.” She looked at him for a minute, seeing her comment had struck a nerve, before turning and heading back towards the house. 

“Where are you going?” 

“To clean the toilet. I’d rather do that than stand out here with you.” 

~ 

Joey furiously wiped at the table as she shoved the crinkled dollar bills into her apron pocket. 

“I think you got it,” Jack said from behind her, a grin on his face. 

Joey looked at him over her shoulder and scowled. “You try serving ignorant neanderthals who sit here for two hours treating you like a slave and only leave you a five-dollar tip.” 

Jack laughed and moved a little closer. “It’s not the end of the world. Besides, our shift is almost over and then we have the rest of the day to ourselves.” 

“How could you possibly be in a good mood right now? We’ve been slammed all morning and, I don’t know about you, but I have a splitting headache. All I wanna do is curl up in bed and sleep until tomorrow, and you’re here grinning like an idiot.” 

Jack knew his good mood had everything to do with the news Andie had shared with him that morning. “I had a little talk with Andie this morning.” 

Joey immediately froze, wondering if Andie had finally spilled the beans about seeing her and Pacey dancing together. “You did? What, um, what about?” 

“Apparently, Pacey finally came to his senses and went to the house last night. He gave her some speech about how he had screwed up and wanted another chance. He even planted a kiss on her.” 

Joey, who had gone back to wiping the table, suddenly slowed her motions, the news hitting her like a punch in the gut. 

“Andie is over the moon about it. He’s taking her out on a date tonight. I don’t really care too much for the guy, but Andie really likes him.” 

Joey bit her bottom lip and tried to compose herself before turning around to face him. She gave him a forced half-smile. “I-“ 

“Joey, are you blind?” Bessie said, suddenly standing next to them. “Do you not realize you are one of two waitresses I have right now, and we have nine tables? Both of you, get back to work.” 

Normally, Joey would have been agitated by Bessie’s bossy tone but now she was thankful for it. She brushed past Jack and headed towards the kitchen. Once she rounded a corner and saw that she was alone, she slumped against a wall and let out the breath she’d been holding, followed shortly by the tears. 

~ 

Pacey looked up from the movie he was watching on the small television, and his breath caught in his throat when he saw that it was Joey who had entered the store. He sat up a little straighter. “Hey.” 

“Hey,” Joey said once she reached the counter. She shoved her hands into her pockets and avoided his eyes. 

“What’s up?” 

Joey finally looked him in the eyes. She thought she might cry all over again. After her meltdown in the kitchen earlier, she had returned to work, worked through the lunch rush and avoided Jack as much as she could. He had wanted to hang out, but she had given him an excuse, telling him she already had plans with Dawson, but she only had plans to be somewhere else. 

To be here. 

“I heard about you and Andie,” Joey began, deciding to cut right to it. She needed to hear it for herself, she needed to hear it from him. 

Pacey ran a hand over his hair and sighed. “You heard about that, huh?” 

Joey refused to let him see that she was upset, even though her heart broke. She decided maybe she deserved it. After all, it was because of her fear that they weren’t together. 

“I just wanted to say… congratulations. Andie’s a nice girl.” 

“Joey-“ 

“What I don’t get is how, just last night, you were asking me how I felt, and a couple of hours later you’re shoving your tongue down Andie’s throat.” 

“What do you expect me to do, Jo? Wait for you to want me? Wait for you to realize how horrible Jack is for you and that I’m the one you should be with?” 

Joey hung her head and bit her lower lip. 

“The truth is, Jo, you don’t know what or who you want. Andie… she wants me. She likes me! Andie could be really good for me.” 

Joey lifted her head, her eyes brimming with tears. She hadn’t given her and Pacey that chance to be together because she didn’t want to get hurt, didn’t want the fantasy to turn out to be crap, but she ended up hurt, anyway. 

Pacey stood up from his stool and walked around the counter to stand in front of her. “What am I supposed to do here, Joey? Tell me, because I’m confused as hell.” 

“I don’t know, okay? I don’t know! Everything is so confusing. Everything between you and me is so confusing. It all,” Joey paused and looked down at her Keds. “It all just happened so fast. Too fast.” 

“Joey, what are you asking me to do here?” Pacey asked, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. When she didn’t look up at him, he hooked a finger under her chin and lifted her face. “Tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it.” 

She finally knew what she had to do, the right thing to do. The only thing that wouldn’t hurt everyone they knew, the thing that wouldn’t tear their friendship apart if it didn’t work out. 

“I’m asking you to be happy,” she finally said. “You’re right. Andie could be really good for you.” 

Pacey removed his hand from her face and sighed as he hung his head. He rubbed at his eyes and then turned to walk around the counter. “So, I guess we’re done here?” 

“It’s easier this way, Pacey.” 

“You know, I think a small part of you is relieved I’m taking Andie out,” Pacey replied, “because you don’t have to deal with the hard part. You don’t have to figure out what you really want. The choice was made for you. You can go with Jack, the safe bet.” 

Joey opened her mouth to respond but was interrupted when a boisterous group of teenagers walked in. Without saying anything, she turned around and headed out of the store. 

~ 

Jen’s socked feet shuffled against the hardwood floor as she made her way towards the ringing phone, figuring it was one of her grandmother’s bingo buddies. “Hello?” 

“Hello, beautiful.” 

“Chris?” Jen asked, frowning. “How did you get this number?” 

“That’s not important. What are you doing right now?” 

“Right now, I’m grounded, thanks to you.” 

“Hey, I don’t remember having to twist your arm to do anything the other night… though I must admit you are extremely flexible…” 

Jen smirked against the phone. “What do you want?” 

“What I want is for you to get your cute little butt out here and go for a ride with me.” 

“I’m grounded, in case you’ve forgotten.” 

“I know that isn’t going to stop you from coming and having a good time with me,” Chris said. “Come on, just for an hour. I can have you screaming my name like you did the other night…” 

Jen sighed and looked down the hall towards her grandmother’s room, where the elderly woman had retired to bed a little after eight. 

Truth be told, she was getting a little stir crazy being trapped in the house all day. And, really, what would an hour hurt? 

“Okay, I’ll be ready.” 

“I’m outside.” 

“Why are you outside?” 

“Cause I knew you couldn’t say no.” 

Jen hung up the phone and went to her room to throw something on. A few minutes later, she was slipping out the front door and making her way towards Chris’s parked SUV, not knowing Dawson was watching from his bedroom window. 

~ 

Joey hesitated before knocking on the door. She took a step back and waited, thinking maybe no one was home after a few minutes passed. Finally, the door opened. Her heart sunk when she saw it was Andie. 

“Andie, hey.” 

“Hey, Joey,” Andie said. “I thought you were Pacey. He was supposed to be here ten minutes ago.” 

Joey tucked a chunk of hair behind her ear and suddenly avoided the other girl’s stare. 

“Speaking of Pacey, I wanted to apologize for the way I acted at the dance,” Andie continued. “I jumped to conclusions and I’m sorry. It was two friends dancing together, and I had no right getting angry.” 

Joey forced a small smile. “It’s okay.” 

“It’s just, I really like him and it hurt to see. But he cleared it all up and now we’re supposed to be going to the movies but as I said, he’s late,” Andie said with a small, chirpy laugh. 

Joey swallowed the lump in her throat. “Is, uh, Jack here?” 

“Oh, silly me. Of course, you’d be here to see your boyfriend,” Andie said with a laugh. “Yeah, he’s upstairs in his room working on some assignment.” 

“Thanks,” Joey said as she brushed past Andie and headed up the stairs. Just as she reached the top of the staircase, she heard Pacey’s voice as he arrived. She continued towards Jack’s room and knocked on his door. 

Jack answered, genuinely surprised to see her and allowed her in. 

Joey closed the door behind her and drowned out Pacey and Andie’s voices with it. 

“What are you doing here? I thought you had plans with Dawson?” Jack asked. It shocked him when Joey walked to him, threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him hard. 

When they pulled away, they touched foreheads. “Wow,” Jack whispered. 

Joey laughed softly, shy because of her sudden action. She was intent on making things work with Jack… even if she had to force it a little. 

Jack smiled and hugged her. 

Joey hugged him back, and the smile melted off her face as she rested her chin on his shoulder. Even though she had just shared an amazing kiss with an amazing boy, she still couldn’t help but wonder what Pacey and Andie were doing downstairs. 

Jack hugged her back, his own smile slipping from his face as he looked towards his computer, realizing he had forgotten to exit out of the email he’d been in the middle of writing, hoping he could get to it before she saw it, knowing it would only bring disaster.


	15. The All-nighter

Joey moaned against Jack’s mouth, finally allowing herself to get lost in his hot kisses. She didn’t remember falling onto the bed nor did she remember Jack positioning himself on top of her, but she wasn’t exactly allowing herself to think rationally. 

Jack didn’t seem so shy and clumsy at the moment as he moved his hand skillfully up her shirt, cupping her soft breast through her bra and giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“Wait,” Joey protested, pushing on Jack’s firm chest. Somewhere along the way, he had taken off his shirt, exposing his toned, tanned torso. “Maybe we should tone this down a bit.” 

She had every intention of making this work with Jack and forgetting about Pacey, but she certainly wasn’t ready to jump into bed with him, no matter how good he looked without a shirt on. 

Jack hung his head with a sigh before slowly easing himself off her. He sat back against the headboard and allowed her space to sit up and straighten her top. 

He ran a hand through his hair before glancing towards his open laptop, relieved to see that the screensaver had kicked in, hiding his email. 

Realizing the full extent of what had just happened, Joey suddenly felt shy in his presence and she stood up, eager to leave the room. “I should go. Bessie is probably wondering where I am.” 

“Already? You just got here,” Jack said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I just thought…” 

“I know. I know, and you didn’t,” Joey assured him. 

Jack got off the bed and stood in front of her. He cupped his hands around her face. “So, we’re okay, right?” 

“Yeah, we’re okay,” Joey said with a small smile as she looked into his eyes. She felt safe with Jack and she knew he wouldn’t push her to do anything she didn’t want to do. 

Jack leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. 

Joey closed her eyes, still not quite feeling that spark…

A noise from the computer ruined the moment and Jack looked back nervously, hoping Joey wasn’t the curious kind. 

“Sounds like someone IMed you.” 

“Yeah,” Jack said, suddenly seeming nervous. “It’s probably just someone from Providence, an old friend wanting to catch up.” 

“Well, don’t ignore them on my account,” Joey said as she sat down on the edge of the bed and grabbed her shoes. 

“I’ll just message him later.” 

“Him?” 

“Uh, it’s probably my old buddy Brad.” 

“Oh.” 

There was a knock on the door and then Andie poked her head in. “Hey, Pacey and I decided to stay in, order pizza, and rent a movie. We’re keeping it simple for our first official date. Would you two like to make it a double date and join us?” 

Joey opened her mouth, ready to come up with any excuse not to spend the evening with Pacey and Andie (considering she’d rather walk over hot coals), but Jack spoke first, sounding overly eager to change the subject. 

“Sure, I’m always up for some pizza. What do you say, Joey?” Jack said, looking at her expectantly. 

“Um, I don’t know. Like I said, I should get going…” 

“Oh no, you should stay!” Andie assured. “It’ll be fun!” 

Joey bit on her lower lip. Though the thought of watching Pacey with Andie caused her to almost throw up in her mouth a little, she also couldn’t help but want to be around him, no matter how much she wanted to get over him. 

“Okay, sure. Why not,” Joey said, forcing a half-smile. 

“Great!” Andie exclaimed. “It’ll give us all the chance to bond. Things around here haven’t exactly been cheery if you know what I mean!” 

Joey continued forcing a small smile, secretly wondering if Andie was on any medication. The girl was too damn happy. 

“You two go ahead. Let me just grab my shirt and I’ll be right down,” Jack said. 

“Yeah, why do you have your shirt off anyway?” Andie asked. “Nevermind, I really don’t want to know,” she said before looping her arm through Joey’s. “Come on, Joey. What do you like on your pizza?” 

Jack waited until the two females disappeared down the hall before hurrying to the computer. He tapped on the keyboard and the screen sprung to life, displaying an IM window along with his unfinished email. 

He read over the IM, his heart sinking when he realized Brad had signed offline, thinking he had been ignored. He contemplated calling him, considering things were strained with them as it was, but he knew he couldn’t with company waiting for him downstairs. 

His girlfriend was waiting downstairs; his girlfriend who had no idea just how much he was missing his friend Brad right then. 

After shutting down the computer and forgetting to grab his shirt, he left his room, closing the door behind him. 

~ 

Pacey walked around the large, expansive living room, taking everything in. He had never been inside a place like this, had only seen them on episodes of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous he’d watched as a kid, and wondered how anyone who even lived this lifestyle could want anything to do with him. 

He passed an armoire that probably cost more than any amount of money he would earn in his lifetime and shook his head. 

He walked to the mantel above the marble fireplace and looked at framed pictures there; pictures of Andie, Jack, and a third person, someone who looked to be an older brother. He wondered briefly who the other person was before something else caught his attention. 

He picked up the small statue of a naked woman at the end of the mantel to inspect it and fumbled with it when it almost slipped through his hands. He caught it right before it hit the floor, almost having to dive for it. 

“I guess it’s safe to assume I can’t leave you alone for more than two minutes?” 

Pacey chuckled as he placed the statue back in its rightful place. “Just wanted to see if it was anatomically correct.” He turned around, and his next words caught in his throat when he saw Joey standing beside Andie. 

His eyes caught hers, and he couldn’t help but wonder why she had been upstairs with Jack, her hair a tousled mess. But he pushed those thoughts aside, not only because he had no right thinking them, but because he knew Joey wouldn’t move that fast with anyone, not even Jack. 

Or perhaps he was just telling himself that so it hurt less. 

“Hey,” Pacey began, his voice scratchy. “I, uh, didn’t know you were here.” 

Joey dug her hands into her back pockets. “Uh, yeah, I was upstairs with Jack. We were talking.” 

Andie laughed. “Okay, it didn’t look like you two had been talking.” 

Pacey stared back at Joey and watched as she looked down at the floor, looking uncomfortable. Her actions told him all he needed to know. 

As if on cue, Jack came down the steps, naked from the waist up. 

“Where’s your shirt?” Andie asked, speaking Pacey’s words out loud. 

“Huh?” 

“You told us to head down without you because you wanted to grab your shirt,” Andie pointed out. 

“You know what,” Pacey said, saving Jack from having to answer that question. “I actually should get going. I forgot I picked up the early shift at Screen Play tomorrow morning, and it’s getting kind of late.” 

Andie pouted. “But it’s only 8:30.” 

“I know,” Pacey said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Andie. Maybe we can go out another night this week? I’ll make it up to you?” 

“Look, if you don’t want me and Joey stepping on your toes, we’ll go back upstairs,” Jack offered. “Leave you two alone.” 

Pacey knew that was the last thing he wanted, to be alone with Andie while Jack and Joey headed back upstairs to finish what they had started. He sighed and looked at Andie, noticing the pleading in her eyes. 

He then looked at Joey, and she had something else in her eyes all-together, something he couldn’t read. Something he couldn’t run from even if he tried. 

“Okay, I guess I can stay for one movie.” 

“Yay!” Andie exclaimed. “I’ll go order the pizza! Jack, go upstairs to the media room and grab a movie. This is gonna be so fun!” she said as she headed off towards the kitchen. 

After Jack had disappeared upstairs, Pacey ran a hand through his hair. “They have a media room,” he said. 

“And?” 

“Do you have a media room?” 

“Pace, we…” 

“I grew up in a shack and they have a freaking media room.” He then looked at Joey and sighed, his whole body slumping in defeat, knowing he couldn’t hide behind jokes. 

“It’s not what you think,” Joey said after a beat.

“Hey, what you do with your boyfriend is none of my business.” 

“I just wanted you to know. Nothing happened up there.” 

“Your appearances say otherwise.” 

“We were just… we were just kissing, and I stopped it before it went any further.” 

Pacey stared back at her, her words killing him on the inside more than she would ever know. He stepped closer to her and tucked a loose chunk of her hair behind her ear. 

“I’m gonna go,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Tell Andie I’ll call her tomorrow.” 

“What, you’re just gonna leave?” 

“Who’s leaving?” Jack said as he re-entered the living room, movie in hand. 

“No one’s leaving,” Andie said as she came back from the kitchen. “We have an extra-large pizza with the works on its way, and we need all the help we can get to finish it.” 

Pacey sighed as he watched Joey reluctantly take her place next to Jack on the couch. 

“Come on, Pacey,” Andie said, patting the spot next to her on the loveseat. 

Pacey reluctantly made his way over, wondering what he had done to deserve this. He looked over just as Jack was wrapping an arm around Joey’s shoulders and pulling her closer. 

With just one remote, Jack dimmed the lights, turned the big-screen television on, and started the movie. 

Pacey smirked. 

Show off. 

.~ 

Towards the end of the movie, Pacey looked down at a sleeping Andie with her head on his shoulder, her mouth slightly ajar, and drool finding refuge on his cotton t-shirt. 

He looked over towards Jack and Joey and realized that they had suffered the same fate and had fallen asleep. 

Nice choice of movie, schmuck. 

It was finally his time to escape. 

He was almost free… 

“Pacey?” 

He froze and looked down to see Joey staring up at him, the light from the TV illuminating her features. 

“You want a ride home?” he whispered. 

Joey nodded and stood up, causing Jack to snort loudly. She froze and waited for a beat, making sure he was still asleep before following Pacey to the door. 

Once they were safely outside, Pacey let out a breath. He childishly felt like he had just stolen the princess from the castle, having to sneak past a sleeping wench and snoring giant to do so. 

He laughed out loud. 

“What’s so funny?” Joey asked, still whispering even though they were a safe distance from the house. 

“Nothing, just… I can’t remember a time where I felt as uncomfortable as I did in there. I mean Andie just tries so hard and Jack… he tries even harder. I just…” He paused and ran a hand down his face. 

“What?” Joey asked with a frown as she waited for him to continue. 

Pacey slowly removed his hand from his face and looked at her. “It doesn’t feel right with them, does it? It shouldn’t feel forced. I mean, tell me… tell me you were forcing that in there.” 

“Pacey, don’t.” 

“You like when he holds your hand?” Pacey asked as he stepped closer to her. “You get goosebumps when he touches you?” he asked as his fingers lightly ran up her bare arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “You go absolutely insane when he kisses you?” 

Joey swallowed the lump in her throat as Pacey lowered his face to hers, his lips just barely touching hers. 

Pacey pulled back just as quickly as he had kissed her. He grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest, his heart beating rapidly under her fingers. “See what you do to me, Potter?” he whispered. 

“Pacey,” she whispered back, her own heart racing. 

“Does he do that to you?” 

“Jack is… he’s… safe and comfortable and… I like him,” Joey said, her words tripping as they fell from her mouth. 

She didn’t want to tell him how Jack’s arm had felt too heavy around her shoulders, how she kept sneaking glances at Pacey, hoping he’d look back. How she had pretended to fall asleep just in case Jack wanted to lean in for more kisses. 

Pacey cupped his hands around her face, his thumbs smoothing over the velvety softness of her cheeks. “We could be so easy, Joey, if you just let us.” 

Joey leaned forward and closed her eyes, shivering a little when his lips touched her forehead. 

She knew things with her and Pacey could never be easy. They would hurt so many people, maybe even themselves when it inevitably didn’t work out. She wasn’t naïve, and she knew that happily-ever-after relationships didn’t exist. Why put your whole heart into something and take that leap if you only ended up alone? Pacey would grow bored with her eventually and things would end, and she would end up alone. 

Jack was safe and comfortable and easy, and she knew if things ended with him she wouldn’t end up miserable. She would be okay. 

With Pacey, she knew her feelings were much stronger, more real, which terrified her. It was what was pushing her away… 

She pulled away from Pacey and lifted her wide, sad eyes to his. “I can’t, Pacey.” 

Pacey dropped his hands from her face. 

“I- I think you should work things out with Andie. She… she’s good for you.” 

“Just tell me you feel nothing for me. Tell me Jack is who you want to be with, and I’ll leave you alone. I’ve asked you before and I think maybe I got an answer but… I just want to be sure, in clear unwavering terms. Give it to me straight out.” 

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” 

“It’s not about what I want, Jo. Just tell me how you feel. No more beating around the bush. Once and for all, tell me what you want.” 

Deafening silence engulfed them and Pacey waited with bated breath for an answer. 

“It’s not that easy, Pacey…” Joey finally answered, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. 

She would be okay. It hurt right now, but it would all be okay. She could tell Pacey she didn’t want him and everything would work out. 

After all, she was only fifteen and someone doesn’t find the person they’re meant to be with when they’re fifteen…

“Then I’ll make it real easy for you,” Pacey replied, his voice broken. “You can stay here with him, or come with me.” 

With everything in him, he forced himself to turn and head towards the Witter Wagoneer, leaving her to stand in the yard watching after him with tears running down her cheeks; tears he didn’t get to see because she didn’t leave with him. 

~ 

“Please sign your real name. This includes you, Mr. Witter,” Mr. Peterson stated flatly. “As to the test, it will cover everything we have studied in English Literature thus far and will be worth 50% of this term’s grade. Main points of interest: Shakespeare, Dickens, the romantics, and your favorite, the read everybody’s talking about, Beowulf.” 

The class groaned and Peterson regarded them disdainfully over the rim of his glasses as he walked from row to row handing out stacks of paper. 

“These are study guides. I suggest you use them wisely.” 

Dawson turned in his seat to hand the stack of papers to Jen and he sighed when she avoided his eyes. “Jen?” 

Jen ignored him, passing the stack of papers behind her. 

“So that’s it? You’re just going to go on pretending I don’t exist?” 

“You know, Leery, I think when a female doesn’t speak and refuses to look at you, it usually means she wants nothing to do with you,” Chris Wolfe whispered as he leaned over. 

Dawson frowned and watched as Chris slipped Jen a folded piece of paper. He turned back in his seat and scoffed. 

Jen looked at Chris who regarded her with a flirty smile and then opened the piece of paper. Don’t forget to smile. 

She couldn’t stop the corners of her mouth from edging upwards. As much as she was trying to fight her attraction to Chris, he really was smooth, always knowing what to say or do to get her to smile. 

Even though he reminded her of so many of the boys she had associated with back in New York, boys she wanted to get far away from, she couldn’t get away from him. He had some sort of gravitational hold on her. 

“I will be hosting a study session in this classroom at 3 PM this afternoon. It is my recommendation that you attend. Unless, of course, your parents have dedicated at least a wing or two to an Ivy League institution, in which case your tragic, East Coast aristocratic, social alcoholic fate has already been sealed.” 

The bell finally rang and students scrambled to get up from their seats. 

“This is more than just an exam, people. It’s your life.” 

“See you later, beautiful,” Chris whispered seductively as he passed Jen. 

Jen stood there watching after him, feeling like a giddy schoolgirl. 

“Can that guy be any more cryptic?” Pacey asked from beside her. “‘It’s more than an exam, it’s your life.’” He scoffed. “Please.” 

“Am I a complete moron?” 

“Moron?” Pacey asked, confused. “Usually that word’s directed at me, so give me a moment here…” 

“For liking him?” 

Pacey followed Jen’s stare and caught sight of Chris Wolfe at the end of the hall, fooling around with his fellow cohorts. “Moron, no? A moron would be Chris Wolfe. You, my lovely Lindley, are just uninformed.” 

“I know about his past.” 

“His past? You mean the fact that he goes through girls like dirty underwear?” 

“He has a past like I have a past,” Jen interrupted. “I’ve changed. He could change.” 

“Wait a minute, this wouldn’t be your woman-scorned, sick way of getting back at Dawson would it?” 

“This has nothing to do with Dawson,” Jen said with a sigh. “And you’ve asked me that before.” 

“I’m just confused. Usually, when people try to move on to bigger and better things, they move on to bigger and better things.” 

Jen smirked at him. 

Pacey chuckled and placed his hands on Jen’s shoulders. “Look, I’m the last person who will judge you and you know I’m all about the sex. Just be careful with that one. You don’t know him.” 

“Well, he can’t be any worse than the guys I do know.” 

“I’m going to walk away right now and pretend that comment wasn’t directed towards me in some way,” Pacey said as he turned and headed down the hall. 

Jen watched after him and then looked back at Chris. She smiled when she caught him watching her. 

~ 

“You know, one day this cafeteria is destined to cook a fry that actually tastes like a fry!” Pacey said, his voice rising on the last four words, causing some heads to turn. 

“Ménage à trois. Ever been in one?“ Andie asked. “And please don’t tell me you, Joey, and Dawson ever went there.” 

“All hail, the queen of non-sequiturs has spoken!” Pacey exclaimed. “And no, we never went there.” 

“It’s not a non sequitur. It’s this month’s Cosmo,” she said, holding up the magazine with Sarah Michelle Gellar on the cover. 

“You mean you’re reading something other than a book?” he asked in an exaggerated tone, his hand clutched to his chest. 

Andie gave him a look. 

Pacey laughed. “I swear, chick magazines are racier than Playboy. There’s always some article in there about how to prolong your ‘this’ or prolong your ‘that’.” 

“And you would know that how?” 

“I have three sisters.” 

“Uh-huh. Well, this one’s a purity test.” 

Pacey nearly choked on his milk. “What?” 

“A purity test. An assortment of sexual questions that, when totaled, are meant to gauge your level of sexual experience.” 

Pacey laughed nervously and went to grab for the magazine. “Okay. Time to put that away now.” 

Andie pulled the magazine away from his grasp. “Why? It’s fun!” 

“Gauging our level of sexual expertise is not really my idea of fun.” 

“Don’t think I don’t know where this is going, Pacey Witter. I already know your history.” 

Pacey squirmed a little. “You-you do?” 

Had Andie heard about Tamara? If so, from who and why hadn’t she mentioned it until now? 

He could put money on it being Dawson who spilled the beans. Dawson was still pissed at him and would undoubtedly do anything to screw him over. 

“Sure.” 

“What exactly is it you know?” 

“You’re a typical guy. You want everyone to think you have an unseemly, adventurous sexual existence, when in fact your purity level is probably closer to Big Bird’s than Bill Clinton’s.” 

Pacey visibly relaxed. “Yeah, you know what? You got me. That’s me. Mr. Embarrassingly Pure.” 

“So,” Andie said as she put the magazine back into her backpack, much to Pacey’s satisfaction. “Am I going to see you at Peterson’s Cram-o-Rama?”

“No, because that would imply I’m going.” 

“Pacey, you can’t bail on this study session. Didn’t you hear him? It’s 50% of our final grade. It’s way too important.” 

“To you,” Pacey replied, slightly irritated. He and Andie had been an official couple for not even a week and already she was trying to change him. Then again, what girl wouldn’t want to change him? 

“No, not just to me. To anyone who cares about their grades.” 

“Exactly, which is a category I don’t fall into.” 

“Don’t joke about this.” 

“I’m serious. Sorry to disappoint you, Andie, but as committed as you are to doing everything in your power to get an A, I’m equally committed to getting my C, possible D, if I can’t get a good look at your answer sheet.” He chuckled then noticed the look of disappointment on her face. 

He liked Andie. She was cute and smart and witty, and he really didn’t want to disappoint her considering he seemed to have disappointed everyone else in his life thus far. 

“Okay. I’ll go,“ he relented. “Just don’t expect me to stay awake.” 

“Well, I supposed that’s a start.” 

~ 

“Hey, Joey, wait up!” 

Joey turned around and caught sight of Dawson jogging towards her. She smiled softly, secretly relieved it wasn’t Jack. Ever since their little make-out session the other night and the fact that she had left the house without saying goodbye, things had been awkward between them. 

“Hey, what’s up?” 

“About to head to Peterson’s for this study session he’s having for the huge midterm. Be glad you don’t have him,” Dawson explained as he hefted his backpack higher on his shoulder. “Where are you headed?” 

“About to head home. I’m off tonight, for a change, and have a ton of homework to catch up on. I also have my own midterms to study for. Hopefully, Alexander stays asleep long enough for me to get some work done.” 

“Oh, well, I’ll walk with you. Peterson’s class is right on the way.” 

Joey fell into step with him and smiled softly to herself, still glad things with her and Dawson were okay, and they were both relatively unscathed by recent events. 

If she would have known an awkward kiss in the middle of her kitchen would have abruptly ended the misery she was going through over Dawson, she would have done it a long time ago. 

Now she was miserably longing for someone after the kiss. Funny how that worked, except that it wasn’t really funny. More sad than funny actually. More like God was playing a sick, sad joke on her. 

“So, how are things with you and Jack? You haven’t really mentioned him in the past couple of days,” Dawson said, breaking Joey from her thoughts. 

“Good, um, they’re good.” Quickly wanting to change the subject, she asked, “How are things with Jen?” 

Dawson sighed as they began walking down a flight of steps, moving to the side to allow a group of freshmen to pass them. “Same. She’s still convinced I’m evil incarnate. She won’t return my calls. Her bedroom blinds have been drawn all week.” 

“The fact that you’ve noticed such a thing is kinda creepy.” 

Dawson threw her a look. “I saw her leave with Chris Wolfe the other night. I’m worried about her.” 

“Jen’s a big girl, Dawson. She doesn’t need you worrying about her and, if you ask me, I think it’s stupid that you are. Move on, she isn’t worth it.” 

“Some support system you are,” Dawson huffed. 

“I do support you, Dawson, that’s why I don’t want to see you get hurt.” 

Dawson sighed. “You don’t know her, Joey.” 

“Maybe I don’t,” Joey answered, “but maybe you don’t either. I’m thinking she’s just now starting to show her true colors.” 

Just as they reached Peterson’s room, Joey looked up and froze when she saw Pacey and Andie standing at the door, reading a note that was posted. 

It was the first time she had seen him since the night on the McPhee’s lawn. 

He turned his head, spotted them, and quickly looked away. He seemed to be avoiding her eyes at all costs. She watched as his Adam's apple bobbed nervously as he focused his attention on the note. 

“What’s going on?” Dawson asked sheepishly. 

Andie began reading the note just as Chris, Jen, and a few others joined them. “Dear class, I went home with a cold that was considerably more important than you. The test is still on for tomorrow. Study the sample questions. Until then, hardly yours… Mr. Peterson.” 

“So he bailed on his own study session, yet you wouldn’t let me do it,” Pacey said to Andie. 

Joey eyed him, wondering why Pacey’s voice held a hint of annoyance. 

Jack showed up then, looking out of breath. “What’d I miss?” 

Joey forced a smile for her boyfriend and allowed Andie to explain the situation. 

“We should have our own study session,” Chris spoke up. “My folks are in Saint Martin. We’ll have the whole house to ourselves.” 

“Oh, I’m sure we’d get a lot of work done that way,” Jen replied. 

Dawson furrowed his brows at Chris’s suggestive sneer. 

“The lady questions my motives? Invite your friends then.” Chris eyed them all, “What do you all say?” 

“I was thinking more along the lines of the public library,” Andie replied as she held her books to her chest. “Come on, Pacey.” 

“Wait a second,” Pacey chimed in. “His offer has certain enticing qualities. His family is loaded. They have a satellite dish, hot tub, pool table…” 

Joey ducked her head and smiled softly while Andie frowned. 

“I’m in,” Jen said. 

“Me too,” Dawson quickly added, wanting to make sure he was near Jen and also wanting to make sure Chris Wolfe kept his hands and other body parts to himself. 

“Dawson, do you think that’s a good idea?” Jen asked, slightly annoyed. 

Dawson ignored her and looked at Joey. “You should come too. You already said you have a ton of homework to get through. It beats studying at home with a crying baby. We can all cram together.” 

“I don’t know, Dawson.” 

Dawson pleaded with his eyes, silently telling his best friend he needed her there. 

Joey snuck a quick look at Pacey, searching for any sign from him, but he still wasn’t looking at her. 

“Yeah, you should come. I’ll give you a ride there if you want,” Jack said. 

“I… okay. Sure,” Joey said as she tucked her hair behind her ears. 

“Good,” Chris said, slapping his hands together, relishing in the thought that Jen would be in his house. He would definitely have to get the hot tub ready. “Then it’s settled. Everyone meet me at my house in two hours. Bring your PJs. We might be pulling an all-nighter.” 

~ 

Joey, Jack, and Dawson arrived at Chris’s house and lingered on the porch. 

“You two honestly believe we’re gonna get studying done tonight?” Joey asked. “Are we really relying on Chris Wolfe to provide a suitable studying environment?” 

“Well, according to Pacey, he can provide a suitable big-screen-satellite-TV environment and that’s good enough for me,” Jack replied as he rang the doorbell. 

Joey rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. 

The door opened and Abby Morgan smirked back at them. “Oh look, the rest of the Grimey Bunch is here.” Her eyes then fell on Jack. “Oh, Yummy Boy. I don’t think we’ve ever been properly introduced.” 

“Jack, this is Abby Morgan, satan’s mistress,” Joey interrupted with a scowl. 

“Jack McPhee. You’re with Joey, right? It’s okay, the delusion will wear off eventually and you’ll come looking for a real woman.” 

Joey rolled her eyes and pushed past Abby into the house. She found Chris, Jen, Andie, and Pacey already sitting around the living room. 

“No one told me Abby was going to be here.” 

“Trust us,” Pacey said tiredly from his spot on the couch. “We weren’t aware of that fact either.” 

Joey was surprised Pacey had spoken to her, yet his eyes still didn’t meet hers. 

“Guys, be nice. She’s not that bad,” Jen assured. 

“Yeah, you wouldn’t think so,” Joey snapped. 

Andie, who hated conflict, stood up. “Okay, everyone. Let’s get situated with snacks and sodas and get our study guides out. It’s going to be a long night.” 

“Andie here has made flashcards,” Pacey said in a bored tone with his fist to his chin as he leaned against the arm of the couch. “Flashcards that each have their own designated total of points, no less.” 

“Pacey, there’s nothing wrong with being prepared,” Andie retorted. 

“No, Andie, you’re right. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with preparing, and laminating, a hundred flashcards in an hour and a half,” Pacey shot back. 

“Well, excuse me, I care about my grades, Pacey.” 

“Yeah, Pacey. Unlike you, she’s not okay with mere mediocrity,” Abby quipped as she entered the room. 

“Bite me, Abby.” 

“In your dreams, Witter.” 

Pacey watched as Jack walked into the room and wrapped an arm around Joey’s shoulders. He sighed and rubbed at his eye with the palm of his hand. 

“I have an idea,” Chris said. “I think we all need to loosen up and I think I have the solution. Jen, can you come with me?” 

Dawson watched as Jen followed Chris out of the living room. He then looked over at Joey who was watching him with a disappointed gleam in her eye. 

Jen followed Chris into the massive kitchen with its dark cherry wood cabinets and granite countertops. “This place is impressive.” She watched as Chris surveyed a wine rack. 

“Got a bottle in here from ‘84. It’s from Napa.” 

“Fancy,” she said as she admired his butt. 

“Well, actually the wine is made by a married couple who have sort of a mom-and-pop vineyard thing going. I was taught to choose quality over labels.” He found a corkscrew in a nearby drawer and went to work. 

“I think we’re getting to know each other minus sexual overtones. I guess it is possible.” 

“You know, Jen, it bothers me that you assume the worst about me. I don’t about you.” 

“Well,” Jen said as he handed her a wine glass and poured her some, “given our previous encounters, plus your reputation, what would you expect me to assume?” 

“That we’re a lot alike. That reputations aren’t worth the air they’re written on, and that the only way to really get to know someone is by getting to know them.” 

“I can drink to that.” 

Chris winked at her as he poured himself a glass. 

Jen smiled as she took a sip of her wine.

~ 

After everyone had their own glass of wine, much to Andie’s disapproval, the studying started. 

“Okay, for 200 points. The most famous of the romantic poets?” 

“The pope,” Jen answered. 

“Wrong,” Andie said. “Dawson?” 

“Shelley?” 

“Wrong again. Chris?” 

“Two beings were drifting, each one to the other. No moments, veil lifting or hint from another.” Chris said, his eyes landing on Jen. “Hardy.” 

“Impressive... but wrong! Pacey?” 

“Would you eat them in a box? Would you eat them with a fox? Seuss!” Pacey said, eliciting laughs from all around, except Andie. 

No one except Joey seemed to notice the disappointment in Andie’s eyes as the blond girl lowered her head. 

“Keats,” Joey answered. “It was Keats.” 

“Right!” Andie exclaimed. “For an additional hundred points, can you give us his most famous quote?” 

“Um,” Joey began, rubbing at her forehead as her mind drew a blank. “Uh.” 

“Beauty is truth, truth beauty,” Pacey cut in, his eyes finally meeting Joey’s from across the room. 

Abby, who was curled up on a nearby chair, nursing her wine and thinking of about a hundred different things she’d rather be doing besides this, sat a little straighter as she watched the exchange. 

“Um, he’s right,” Joey mumbled, tearing her eyes from Pacey’s and looking down at her study sheet to jot down that note, her hand shaking slightly. 

“Who wants to hit the hot tub?” Chris spoke up. “I think we all could use a break.” 

“We’ve only been studying for 45 minutes,” Andie nearly whined. “We don’t need any breaks. What we need to do is focus.” 

“I could go for some hot tub action,” Pacey said, standing up and stretching. 

“Real nice, Pacey,” Andie said flatly. “Let’s just study for another hour and then we can get in the hot tub for a half hour and then…” 

“Man, when you said we were on a schedule, you weren’t kidding were you?” Pacey asked. 

“What’s wrong with you tonight, Pacey?” Andie asked. 

“What do you mean what’s wrong with me?” 

“All night you’ve been acting like a jerk!” Andie exclaimed before standing up and leaving the room, Jack following dutifully after her. 

Pacey sighed and ran a hand over his face. He then stood up to go after her, feeling like the world’s biggest asshole. He met Joey’s sad eyes briefly before leaving the room. 

He found Andie and Jack in the kitchen. 

“Can you give us a minute?” 

Jack eyed Pacey coldly for a moment before leaving the room. 

“What do you want, Pacey? To berate me more? Criticize me more?” Andie sniffed. 

Pacey sighed and placed a hand on her shoulder. The gesture felt forced, awkward, but she didn’t seem to notice. “I’m sorry, Andie.” He stared down into her watery eyes. “You don’t deserve any of that. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect.”

Andie laughed a little and wiped at her cheeks. “You don’t know how wrong you are,” she mumbled before turning away from him. “I like you, Pacey. I really, really like you. It just… it doesn’t seem like you like me very much.” 

“Hey, c’mere,” Pacey mumbled, turning her back to face him. He caught one of her tears with his thumb. “I like you, Andie. I’m just afraid that you’re not gonna like me very much once you find out what a loser I am.” 

“I kinda have an idea,” Andie whispered. “And I like you, anyway.” 

Pacey smiled softly even though none of it felt right. The fact that a beautiful girl, a girl who could probably have any man she wanted, wanted him, should feel right. Except it didn’t. 

Andie leaned in and pressed her lips to his in a soft sweet kiss. 

Pacey kissed her back, even went as far as wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. He wanted to allow himself to get lost in Andie… it was the only way he could try to let go. 

Joey walked into the kitchen at that moment, on a mission to grab another bottle of wine for refills, and froze when she saw Pacey and Andie locked in their romantic embrace. Stiffly, she turned around and retraced her steps back into the living room, her heart racing miserably in her chest. 

“You okay?” Jack asked when she sat down next to him, humor tinting his voice. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

“Ye-yeah, I’m fine,” Joey said, even though she was far from. “I, uh, think the wine is getting to me.” 

Jack laughed. “You had one glass.” 

Abby watched the interaction from her spot, noticing the look of devastation on Joey’s face. Two seconds later, Pacey and Andie re-emerged from the kitchen, their hands locked, and Andie looking to be in a much better mood. 

She smiled to herself, thinking maybe the night wouldn’t be so boring after all.

~

An hour and a half later, despite Andie’s protests, everyone agreed on a much-needed break. 

“Fine,” Andie relented. “Let me announce the scores so far first. In the lead, with 1650 points is Joey. In the last place, with 325 points… Pacey.” 

“You’re pathetic, Witter,” Chris said. 

“Hey, I’m just that good at being bad,” Pacey defended. 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Pace,” Jen said. 

“Let’s play a game!” 

“No,” Dawson spoke up. “We all remember what happened last time we played a game with you, Abby.” 

“What? Jen and Joey kissed Pastey boy over there and forgot all about you?” 

“Wait, you two kissed Pacey?” Andie asked, looking disappointed. “Why am I just finding out about this now?” 

“Maybe because you’ve only been dating, what, a week?” Joey asked more harshly than intended, still on edge about what she saw in the kitchen. 

“What’s wrong?” Jack whispered to her. 

“Nothing,” Joey whispered back. 

“You just bit my sister’s head off for no reason.” 

“I was just curious,” Andie replied. 

“It was just a stupid game, truth or dare, and Abby was only trying to stir up trouble,” Joey replied, her tone more pleasant that time. 

“You’re just upset because your little kiss with Pacey that day stirred up a little something in your panties,” Abby said. 

The corner of Pacey’s mouth curled upward ever-so-slightly. 

“Can we please change the subject?” Dawson and Jack said at the same time, causing Joey to blush further. 

Abby reached down into her backpack and pulled out a magazine. “Well, I guess truth or dare is out since you people seem to be too scared of the truth and too lame for the dares.” 

“Oh yeah, Abby, we can’t all be as daring and outgoing as you. After all, us lames would never have an ecstasy-induced gang bang on the floor of the boys’ locker room.” 

Abby ignored Pacey’s comment. “I have the newest issue of Cosmo right here. Let’s do this test inside, then we can get back to studying. It’ll be fun!” 

Pacey looked at the magazine Abby held in her hands and his heart dropped into his stomach. Damn that test! 

Jen grabbed the magazine that Abby offered her. “You’ve gotta be kidding me! A purity test? God, talk about an open can of worms.” 

“Well, Jen, you might as well just sit back and not take it. We all know what your score’s going to be,” Joey said. 

“Oh, ouch!” Abby exclaimed with a conniving grin. 

Jen glowered at Joey, wondering when the other girl would stop seeing her as the enemy. 

“Same goes for you, Joey,” Jen shot back. “We all know who the prude is in this room.” 

“Excellent,” Chris spoke up as he took the magazine. “The night just got interesting.” 

“No way. No. We aren’t taking a break,” Andie said. “We’re already behind.” 

“She’s right,” Pacey replied. “We need to put that thing away and keep studying.” 

The room grew silent as his words hung in the air. 

“Did that just come out of his mouth?” Dawson asked. 

Andie eyed him, suddenly intrigued. What was Pacey trying to hide? 

“Well, I supposed we can take one break. Besides, who needs a schedule, right Pacey?” Andie asked sweetly. 

Pacey groaned and leaned his head back. 

Two minutes later, after retrieving pieces of paper and pencils from Chris’s little sister’s Pictionary game, everyone (except Pacey) was ready to begin. 

“Okay, in order to keep this folly under control, I’m in charge. There are 50 questions in total. We’ll pass it around and take turns asking. Write your answers on the paper and we’ll total when finished.” 

“Yippee,” Pacey said sarcastically. 

“Pacey, why don’t you start?” 

Pacey sighed, knowing there was no way he could get out of this one. 

“Alright. Um, question 1. Have you ever been intimately aroused by a relative? So this is a southern test, huh?” He asked as everyone groaned their disproval. “Abby, be honest… cousins count.” 

“Eat me, pig face.” 

“My turn,” Andie bubbly declared. “2. Have you ever been in love? If so, give yourself a point for each time.” 

Abby watched and, as expected, Pacey’s eyes found Joey’s again while everyone else remained oblivious. 

These people were such morons. 

“Joey, your turn,” Andie asked after everyone wrote their answers. 

“Question 3. Have you ever,” Joey paused and cleared her throat, her cheeks turning crimson red, “experimented with bondage?” 

“Who hasn’t?” Abby asked with a shrug of her shoulders. 

Pacey chuckled softly, loving how Joey got embarrassed so easily. 

“Jack,” Andie said, motioning for Jack to take the magazine. 

“4. Have you ever had sex in your parents’ bed?” 

“Nice,” Pacey said, nodding his approval. 

“We all know Jen has,” Abby said, earning a cold look from Jen. “What?” she asked innocently with a shrug of her shoulders. 

Dawson was next. “Question 5. Have you ever paid for sex?” 

“What? Is that wrong?” Pacey asked, earning a look from Andie. 

“It’s not wrong for you, Witter. If you couldn’t pay for sex, you’d never get it,” Abby tossed in. 

Pacey made a face and mock laughed. 

Chris took his turn. “6. Have you ever engaged in sexual activity with a member of the same sex?” 

Abby looked around the room at the group of friends, watching as everyone scribbled down their answer. Her eyes fell on Jack in particular, and she watched as he squirmed then hesitated before finally jotting his answer down. 

Jen took her turn. “Have you ever had sex with a four-legged creature? That’s disgusting.” 

Everyone laughed. 

“Remember, Abby, honesty is key,” Pacey said. “You won’t get an accurate tally if you lie.” 

Abby shot him the finger and then took the magazine for her turn. She eyed the question and then smiled softly. “8. Have you ever had sexual relations with someone twice your age?” 

Pacey froze. 

“Pacey? Remember… honesty is key.” 

Andie frowned. “What’s she talking about?” 

“I… I don’t know,” Pacey stammered. “Who knows what type of drugs Abby is on this week.” 

“You mean you don’t know?” Abby asked in mock surprise. “You’re his girlfriend, and you don’t know that Pacey slept with his English teacher? That’s just so wrong!” 

Pacey closed his eyes and held in a breath, wishing Abby an eternity in hell at the moment. 

“Pacey, is this true? You had sex with Mr. Peterson?” 

Jack choked on his wine. 

“Well, that’s a little too juicy, even for me, but no. Aren’t you going to tell her about Ms. Jacobs, Pacey? The teacher you stalked, tricked into bed, and ultimately forced her to lose her job and leave town?” 

“Abby, you’re such a bitch.” 

“Defending your man, Joey. Good for you,” Abby responded. “I’m thinking maybe you’re not a lesbian. Although, it would make sense why you’re with a gay man. Using each other as beards?” 

Joey scowled. “What are you talking about?” 

“I gotta get out of here,” Andie said, standing up and leaving the room. 

Jack stood up also, not knowing what to say. He hurried after his sister, wanting to get away from everyone’s curious eyes. 

“Chris, either she leaves or I do,” Jen said, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“I don’t need anyone to throw me out. I’ll leave on my own. You all are a bunch of delusional weirdos anyhow.” Abby stood up and grabbed her backpack from the floor. 

She stopped right next to Dawson on her way out and said, “Sucks, doesn’t it? How one guy can cause everyone to dump you and leave you in the dust and, for some reason, you’re still around hoping Jen leaves you a scrap? You’re the most pathetic one of them all.” 

Dawson swallowed the lump in his throat and scoffed. 

“Well, that was intense,” Chris said with a laugh when Abby was gone. “Who wants to get more wine and hit the hot tub?” 

“I can’t believe you’re friends with her,” Jen said with a shake of her head. 

“Abby? She’s harmless. We grew up together. She was dealt a few bad cards, absent father and neglectful mother. She just does it for attention.” 

“The fact that you can stand there and defend her is unbelievable.” 

Chris’s smile faded. “I’m going to grab some more wine.” 

When he left the living room, Jen walked over to Dawson. “I’m sorry, about what she said to you.” 

Dawson ran a hand through his hair. “Why? It’s true, isn’t it? I am pathetic. You’re moving on right in front of me and I’m too dumb to let go.” 

“Chris and I… we’re just having fun,” Jen answered. 

“And where does that leave me?” 

“Come on, Dawson. I told you… you and I are friends.” 

“I can’t be your friend, Jen. I can’t sit around and watch you be with him when I know it’s all just a huge, colossal mistake. He will hurt you.” 

“Yeah, well, I’m used to getting hurt,” Jen replied, her words heavy with meaning. 

“I shouldn’t have come,” Dawson said, grabbing his backpack and jacket from the floor. 

“Dawson,” Jen called out and watched as he left, shutting the door behind him. 

~ 

Jack left the bathroom, closing the door behind him with a sigh. 

“How is she?” Joey asked, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“She’s really upset. She wants to go home, so we’ll probably be heading out of here.” Jack ran a hand over his face. “He slept with his English teacher?” 

“It’s a really long story.” 

“Abby seemed to sum it all up pretty well.” 

Joey frowned. “Abby doesn’t know what she’s talking about. He didn’t trick her into bed, he didn’t force her to leave town…” 

“My opinion of the guy gets lower and lower every day,” he continued, refusing to hear her. 

“You don’t know him, Jack.” 

“Don’t defend him to me, Joey.” 

Joey sighed. “Can we just change the subject?” 

“Good idea,” Jack said tiredly. “I feel like we’re just talking in circles, anyway.” 

Joey nodded and chewed on her bottom lip. “Jack-“ 

“Look, Joey, if you want to know about what Abby said… it’s not true, okay? I’m not gay.” 

“I… I know,” Joey stammered, suddenly feeling foolish for even considering it might be true. “I wasn’t going to ask you that.” 

“Yes, you were,” Jack said. 

Joey nodded and tucked her hair behind her ears, secretly wondering where Abby would even come up with that idea. But she knew, deep down, that Jack wasn’t gay. He couldn’t be gay, right? The incident on his bed the other night was proof of that, right? The way he constantly told her he liked her and wanted to be with her was answer enough, wasn’t it? 

“What she said about Pacey… about him being your man and you defending him. No truth to that, right?” Jack asked, breaking her from her reverie. 

“It… it’s about as true as what she said about you,” Joey said. “She only likes to stir up trouble.” 

“Yeah,” Jack said with a curt nod of his head. “Listen, I’m gonna head out and get her home. You want a ride?” 

“No, um, I’ll catch a ride with Dawson. He could really use a friend right now.” 

“Okay,” Jack said, leaning forward to kiss her chastely. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Okay,” Joey said through a forced half-smile. She turned and headed back down the stairs, intent on finding Dawson and getting out of there. She found Jen and Chris alone in the living room, their heads bent in an intimate conversation. 

“Hey, um… where’s Dawson?” 

“He left,” Jen replied. “Pacey’s still here though. He’s out back.” 

Joey nodded and thought about it only a few beats before heading through the kitchen. She hesitated when she spotted a piece of paper sitting on the countertop. She picked it up, instantly recognizing Pacey’s sloppy handwriting. 

She looked down the numbered list and her eyes fell on question 2. She remembered the question because it had been a question she herself had had trouble answering. 

Have you ever been in love? If so, give yourself a point for each time. 

He had marked down one point. 

She frowned and headed out through the back sliding doors that led out onto the deck overlooking the pool and hot tub. 

Pacey was sitting in a deck chair, his shoulders slumped. “Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Abby Morgan?” 

Joey sat down in the chair next to him and eyed the bottle of wine he had grasped in his hand. “We all do. You know it’s her life’s mission to make our lives a living hell. She’s been doing it since the fifth grade.” 

Pacey lifted the bottle of wine to his lips and took a long swig. 

“Andie’s leaving, in case you were wondering.” 

“I’m surprised she isn’t already gone,” he said gruffly. 

“Pacey, she was bound to find out, eventually. It’s probably best that she found out now.” 

Pacey finally looked at her. “You mean she was bound to find out how much of a loser I really am? How big of a slut I am?” 

“Pacey, you’re not a slut.” 

He laughed curtly. “Sleeping with my English teacher? I mean, who does that? I can only imagine what she’s thinking right now.” 

“If anyone was a slut in that situation, it wasn’t you. You were fifteen, Pacey. She’s the one who took advantage of you…” 

“Don’t talk about her like that, Jo. Tamara was a good person. You didn’t know her like I did.” 

Joey sighed. “Look, I know you think you were in love with her, Pacey, but she…” 

“I wasn’t in love with her,” Pacey said, rubbing at his eyes. “Infatuated maybe, but I wasn’t in love with her.” 

Joey frowned, thinking about Pacey’s answer to the question. “So, what, you’re in love with Andie?”

“No,” Pacey answered. “No, I… I just don’t want to hurt Andie, that’s all. She’s a good girl.” 

“I’m confused,” Joey replied. “I saw your test. I saw the answer to number two. Have you ever been in love before and you marked down a point.” 

Pacey stared back at her and then pried his eyes away after a long torturous silence. He took another long swig of his wine. “I had to answer truthfully,” he finally said. 

“So, if you weren’t in love with Tamara and you’re not in love with Andie…” 

Pacey looked at her pointedly. 

“Oh.” 

Pacey unlocked his stare from hers and gazed out into the dusk surrounding them, watching as the moon played peek-a-boo through the clouds. 

“I’m only sixteen. What the hell do I know about love, right?” 

Joey stared at him, watching as he took another chug of wine. She held out her hand, and he handed it to her. She took a long swig of her own. 

Just then, Chris poked his head out. “Are you two crazy kids staying or going? Jen and I are heading upstairs to… check out my bedroom. Hot tub and wine are free for the taking if you stay.” 

“Well, when you put it that way, I’m staying,” Pacey replied. 

“I’ll stay too,” Joey said. “Make sure he doesn’t drink and drive.” 

“Bathing suits are in the shed by the hot tub. Have fun, I know I will,” Chris said before sliding the door shut behind him. 

“Jen sleeping with Chris Wolfe. Why am I not surprised?” Joey mumbled. 

“Why do you care so much about what Jen does?” 

“I just feel bad for Dawson. I can’t help but feel like I’m betraying him somehow by staying here.” 

“Why, ‘cause Jen’s upstairs with Chris or because you’re sitting here with me?” 

Joey sighed. “Because he’s my friend and I know he’s lost right now. I’m just worried about him.” 

Pacey sighed, not wanting to hear about Joey’s concerns about Dawson at the moment. “If Dawson is lost and lonely right now, it’s because of his own doing.” 

Joey shook her head. 

“Someone shouldn’t have the right to be lost and lonely because of their own poor choices,” he said sardonically as he sipped more of his wine, his words laced with meaning. 

“Just because you’re upset about what Abby did, you don’t have to be mean,” Joey said, her words catching with emotion. 

“Look, Jo, you can go,” Pacey said. “I have every intention of staying here all night and raiding the wine closet. I don’t need a sitter.” 

“Well, considering my ride left and Jen and Chris are currently preoccupied, I guess I’m kinda stuck here, too.” 

“You can call Bessie to pick you up.” 

“I can,” Joey intoned, locking her eyes with his. “But I don’t want to.” 

Pacey stared back at her before handing the wine bottle to her. 

Joey took a hearty swig and allowed her eyes to travel over him as he stood up and headed down the deck steps and towards the shed.

~ 

A little while later, after changing into a simple black bikini that she had found in the shed with the tags still on, Joey exited the shed to find that Pacey was submerged in the steaming hot tub, a new, full bottle of wine next to him. 

She felt him eyeing her up, and she suddenly felt self-conscious in her half-naked state. She climbed the small steps to the hot tub and lowered herself into the hot bubbles. 

“Wine?” Pacey asked, holding out the bottle. 

Joey took the proffered bottle, already feeling warm and fuzzy from the wine she had already consumed. She took a sip, catching his eyes with hers. 

She handed him the bottle back, and he took another gulp, his Adam's apple bobbing. She watched as beads of sweat and water rolled slowly down his neck onto his chest. She looked away. 

“Should we be doing this?” she asked. 

“We’re two friends sitting in a hot tub enjoying a bottle of wine.” 

“Yeah, but… if Andie or Jack knew about this…” 

“Relax, Potter. Have some fun for once.” 

Joey smirked. “Don’t give me that lecture. You know damn well I know how to let loose and get a little wild and crazy now and then.” 

Pacey laughed. “Oh yeah, how can I forget the night you went all crazy and kissed me?” He watched as she situated herself in the hot tub, her small, supple breasts peeking out from beneath the surface of the water. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Ask away.” 

Joey nibbled on the bottom of her lip as she contemplated her words. “What do you think about what Abby said? About Jack being gay?” 

Pacey ran a hand through his wet hair. He wanted to tell Joey that he had his own suspicions of the guy, but he knew he could never tell her that. He could never hurt her like that. “You know Abby. She’ll say anything to get a rise out of someone.” 

“You’re right.” 

“What do you think about what Abby said?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, if you thought nothing of it yourself, you wouldn’t have wanted my opinion on the matter.” 

Joey shrugged. “I just wanted to know what you thought.” 

“So you have no thoughts on the matter?” 

“I think Abby is delusional. Jack is far from gay.”

“And you know that for a fact?” 

Joey was getting irritated and wanted to wipe the smug look off his face, knowing he was trying to get under her skin in the way only he knew how. 

“Yes. I do.” 

“How?” 

“Because… because of the way he kisses me and touches me and… and I’m the one who stops things before they go too far. Trust me, Jack isn’t gay.” 

Pacey stared back at her, wishing he could unhear all the things she had just said. “You done trying to convince yourself now?” 

“Screw you, Pacey.” 

Pacey chuckled as he took another gulp of wine. 

“Jack may not be perfect, but at least he’s not controlling. Andie already has you on a leash and it’s only been, what, four days?” 

“At least Andie knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it.” 

Joey stared back at him, fighting back the tears that were threatening to spill over. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t be here.” 

Pacey watched as Joey climbed out of the hot tub. He sighed before getting out himself. He caught up with her on the porch and watched as she wrapped a towel around herself. 

“Jo.” 

“Leave me alone, Pacey.” 

“Joey, look at me,” Pacey said, grabbing her elbow. “I’m sorry. You know I’m an ass. My motto is to act now, think later. I didn’t mean it.” 

Joey pulled her arm from his grasp. 

“I’m sorry I’m confused, Pacey. I’m sorry I can’t give you the answers you want right now. Excuse me, that everything has happened so fast. One minute I think I love Dawson and then you happen and then Jack shows up and everything is just happening so fast, too fast. I don’t know what I want. Jack, he’s so good for me. He’s sweet and funny and we like the same music, the same books and we both love art and he doesn’t know me like the back of his hand like you do. He doesn’t know all of my flaws, and I like that about him.” 

“Well, if he’s so damn perfect then why are you so confused?” Pacey asked, hating to hear her wax poetry about another guy. “It sounds like you have it all figured out, Potter.” 

“I… Because I…” 

“Because what?” Pacey asked, frustrated. 

“Because… because he’s not you, okay?” 

Pacey stared back at her, not knowing how to react to that. He couldn’t even remember how to breathe… 

“God, Pacey! You… you drive me so crazy, and you irritate me to no end, and you’re so damn immature and… and… I can’t stop thinking about you. For some reason, I can’t get you outta my head. It doesn’t make any sense, and it’s so… infuriating! You’re so infuriating!” 

“I’m infuriating?” 

“Yes.” 

“I’m infuriating!?” 

“Yes!” 

“Don’t go there, Potter. I’ve made it perfectly clear what I want.” 

“By how? Going out with Andie?” 

“So, what, I’m just supposed to step aside and watch you be with Jack and wait for you to want me?” 

“Excuse me, I’m finding it a little hard to believe that you’re so heartbroken over all of this. Don’t tell me you and Andie were all over each other in the kitchen earlier because she was helping you lick your wounds!” 

“You’re unbelievable!” Pacey exclaimed, grabbing his head in frustration. “How is that any different from you throwing yourself at Jack in his room the other night?” 

“You know what, screw you, Pacey. I should have just left a long time ago. I don’t even know why I put myself through this,” Joey said, holding up a hand and edging to move past him. “I’m calling Bessie to come get me.” 

“Yeah, go!” 

“I am!” Joey exclaimed. She headed towards the sliding doors to the house and then turned back to him once more. 

“Thank you for this, Pacey. Thanks for making me see what an utter idiot I am for even considering that maybe you’re a decent human being!” 

“I thought you were leaving.” 

“I am!” Joey exclaimed, her wet eyes glaring back at him. 

“What are you waiting for then? Go!” 

“I… I hate you!” she exclaimed, her tears finally betraying her and falling down her cheeks. “I hate you, Pacey,” she said with much less conviction as her eyes fell to his lips. 

Pacey stepped forward then and wrapped his hands around her face and bent down to catch her mouth in a searing kiss. 

Joey whimpered through the kiss as she kissed him back just as fiercely, her hands resting over his that still cupped her cheeks. The towel she had been holding against her was now lying at her feet. 

Pacey wrapped his arms around her bare waist and held her to him as he kissed her again, moaning deep in his throat as their tongues played. 

Joey’s arms went around his neck, and she pressed her body against his bare chest, finally feeling that spark she had so desperately wanted to feel with Jack. 

The thought of Jack brought her back to reality, and she reluctantly pulled away from the kiss. 

“We can’t do this,” she said, her breath heavy as she turned away from him, holding a hand to her forehead. 

She didn’t know how they could argue so fiercely with one another one second, and kissing each other as if it were the end of the world the next. She supposed that summed up her relationship with Pacey as a whole; confusing, electric, breath-taking, yet it made sense even when it shouldn’t. 

Pacey licked his lips, tasting her on them, and ran a hand through his damp hair. His heart raced in his chest as he watched her. 

“So you’re picking feeling safe over what just happened?” 

“I… I’m choosing to do what’s right and… this isn’t right,” Joey answered, her hand unsteady as she tucked hair behind her ear. “We have to think about Jack and Andie. They don’t deserve this.” 

“So we’ll tell them.” 

Joey sniffed and shook her head softly as she looked at the ground. 

“The right thing isn’t staying with them, Joey. You know that. It’s not right to keep leading them both on when we both know this, right here, you and me… no matter how hard we try to deny it, feels right. It makes little sense, but it’s right,” Pacey said, placing a finger under her chin and forcing her eyes to meet his. 

“I’m scared,” Joey said, a rare time when she sounded like the 15-year-old that she was. 

“I know you are. I am too,” Pacey whispered, leaning in and kissing her softly on the forehead. “I’m unsure about a lot of things, Jo, but the one thing I’m absolutely sure about… is how I feel when I’m with you.” 

Joey stared into his eyes and knew he was right. Finally, she allowed herself to admit that what she had with Pacey was something she had once imagined she’d had with Dawson but didn’t, something she tried so desperately to have with Jack but failed. 

Her feelings for Pacey were what was real. 

The only fantasy she had been living in was trying to deny it. 

“Did you mean what you said?” she asked, her voice small. “The answer to the question?” 

Pacey smiled softly and brushed a piece of hair from her face. “All I know, Potter, is I’ve never felt anything like this before.” 

He bravely leaned down and kissed her softly. 

“Okay,” Joey finally whispered against his lips. “We’ll tell them.” 

Pacey kissed her forehead. “Does this mean Joey Potter is finally making a decision? I don’t know what to say.” 

“Don’t say anything,” Joey said before leaning in to kiss him sweetly on the mouth. 

Neither noticed that Chris Wolfe was looking out his bedroom window from up above the pool, a camera in his hand, and a sly smile on his face. 

~ 

After putting her clothes back on and towel-drying her hair, Joey came out of the shed to find that Pacey was also dressed and lounging on the porch. 

“Bessie should be here any minute,” Joey said as she sat down in the seat next to him. “She wasn’t too happy about having to come get me at eleven o’clock at night.” 

They had agreed that it was best for Joey to leave, not wanting to do or say anything else until they had broken up with their respective mates. 

“I would have given you a ride home, but I’m still kinda feeling the wine. Besides, I want to take a little more advantage of that hot tub,” he joked. 

“It’s okay,” Joey said and watched as he looked off into the night. “The wine had nothing to do with what we did or said earlier, does it?” 

Pacey looked at her and smiled. “I’m a little drunk, Jo, not inebriated.” 

She smiled softly and looked down. 

“I meant every word of it,” Pacey answered and caught her eyes when she looked back up. “I’m gonna tell Andie tomorrow.” 

Joey nodded. “I’m going to tell Jack, too.” 

“What are you going to tell him?” 

“I’m going to say that… he and I aren’t working out.” 

“That’s it?” 

“Maybe that… I have feelings for someone else.” 

“Feelings, huh?” 

Joey smirked. “Pacey.” 

Pacey chuckled. “Sorry, it’s still just kinda hard to process right now.” 

“What?” 

“The fact that Joey Potter has a thang for me.” 

“It’s more than a thang, Pacey,” Joey said, her voice soft as she returned his smile. 

The sound of a horn blasting up front stole the retort from Joey’s mouth. “I guess I should get going.” 

Pacey stood up and faced her. “So we’re gonna tell them tomorrow, right?” 

Joey nodded. “Yeah, after school though. After midterms.” 

“When they’re in much better moods. You sure you wanna do this, Jo?” 

Joey smiled softly, sensing his insecurities in the tone of his voice. Bravely, she took a step towards him and tilted her head up to kiss him sweetly on the mouth. 

“Pretty sure,” she whispered when she pulled away. 

“Absolutely sure? I may not be brainy like Dawson or brawny like Jack,” Pacey said, joking to cover up the fact that Joey Potter was making him nervous. 

“True, but I’m willing to overlook all that.” 

Pacey chuckled and then leaned in for another kiss. 

Bessie beeped again and Joey sighed against his lips. 

“I gotta go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Pacey watched as she disappeared into the house, closing the sliding door behind her. 

He finally grinned like an idiot and then raced to the pool, somersaulting into it fully clothed. 

He had never felt more amazing. 

~ 

“I’ll be right back,” Chris said, kissing Jen hard on the mouth before getting out of the bed in all of his naked glory. 

“Maybe we can try for round three when I get back.” 

“Looking forward to it.” 

Chris smiled and grabbed his cell phone off the dresser as he headed towards the door. 

Jen fell back against the mattress and held the satin sheets to her naked body and smiled up at the ceiling contently. 

Once in the hallway, Chris closed the door shut behind him and dialed the familiar number on his cellphone. After a few rings, she answered. 

“You’re gonna love me.” 

“Doubtful,” Abby said on the other line, “but I’m listening.” 

“I think I have something you’ll find very interesting.” 

“Just cut to the chase,” Abby said, her voice filled with annoyance. 

“Depends… what will I get out of it?” Chris asked. 

“I gave you a blowjob last week, isn’t that enough?” 

Chris sighed. He didn’t know why, but Abby infatuated him, and he would do anything she wanted him to do, even if he didn’t get much in return. 

“I have a picture.” 

“A picture? Of what?” 

“Pacey and Joey. I heard them arguing earlier and looked outside to find them getting hot and heavy.” 

“Sex?” 

“Kissing and light groping.” 

“Lame. Then again, everyone knows Joey Potter won’t put out. Oh well, maybe it’ll come in handy.” 

“That’s not all,” Chris continued. “I have a tape.” 

“A tape?” 

“Let’s just say I have a tape of Jen performing some pretty fancy moves.” 

“You filmed her while you were having sex? How classy.” 

“Hey, you said you wanted juicy.” 

“I know, I just thought maybe you were getting a little fond of the whore from New York.” 

“The only woman I want is you, Abby.” 

“Whatever. Bring what you got tomorrow.” 

“And payment?” 

Abby scoffed in disgust. “Fine, whatever. I’ll have sex with you, I suppose you deserve that much.” 

Chris smiled and stared down at his phone as he hung up. For some reason, Abby wanted to destroy the group of friends, and she wanted him to help do it. 

If it meant him getting the girl he had wanted since the third grade, he was happy to oblige. 

He went back into the bedroom, figuring there was nothing wrong with going for round three with Jen Lindley. 

“Hello, beautiful. Miss me?” he asked as he shut the door behind him. 

Meanwhile, Abby placed her phone back on its cradle and smiled to herself, already scheming up plans in her head.


	16. The Longest Day

After a grueling day of midterms, Pacey nearly sighed out loud in sweet relief when the final bell rang. Not because he was finally happy the tests were over (which, don’t get him wrong, he was), but because he would finally have time to see Joey. He couldn’t wait to see her pretty face, couldn’t wait to see that crooked smile and wide, deep brown eyes.

After Joey had left Chris Wolfe’s house the night before, he’d stayed up most of the night thinking about everything that had transpired between them. Finally, Joey Potter admitted that she wanted to be with him. She wanted a relationship with him. She would break up with a guy that was potentially great for her (or so Joey thought, Pacey wasn’t much convinced) for him. 

As ecstatic as he was about that, he also couldn’t help but worry that maybe she wanted to take it all back. It had been a little over fifteen hours since they had spoken to each other. She had had a lot of time to think and, truth be told, Joey was definitely a thinker. She over-analyzed everything to the point of exhaustion, a little habit she had picked up from their friend Dawson. 

Did she regret it? Did she finally come to her senses and remember that he was Pacey Witter, the bane of her entire existence? Could a couple of short months really change all that? 

Yes, he thought. A couple of months could change everything. It had for him. 

Still, the fact that Joey wanted anything to do with him was mind-boggling. Months ago, she could barely stand the sight of him, and last night they were wrapped in each other’s arms, promising to break up with their respective partners so they could be together. It almost seemed too good to be true… 

Hesitantly, he stood up from his desk. Moments before, he couldn’t wait to see her. Now, he wanted to put it off for as long as he could. If she regretted it and wanted to take it all back, he’d rather not know about it right away. For the moment, he was content on staying in his own little bubble of happiness. 

~ 

Joey stopped at her locker and looked up and down the hall, searching for any sign of him. A small part of her (okay, a huge part) had been hoping that he would already be at her locker, leaning casually against it with that cocky (yet achingly adorable) smile on his face. He would toss some silly quip her way and then, once she got a little closer, he would give her that look, and she would know everything was okay. 

He wasn’t there, and she couldn’t help but feel disappointed. She had spent almost the entire night before tossing and turning, thinking about everything that had happened between them. She didn’t regret any of it. She was sure, more than ever, that she knew who was meant for her. She just wished he was there to give her that slight nudge of reassurance, to let her know everything would end up okay; that Dawson would get over it, Jack wouldn’t hate her, and Andie would be fine. 

Maybe he regretted it, she worried. Maybe he finally realized what she had been telling him all along; that Dawson would feel betrayed, that Andie would be hurt, that Jack would get burned. Maybe he finally realized that she was just plain old Joey Potter, poor homely tomboy from down the creek. Maybe he realized he could do better and had spent the entire night before trying to figure out ways to let her down easy. 

She opened her locker and hid her distressed face from the students swarming around her, buzzing excitedly about midterms being over and their plans for spring break. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath; her jumbled emotions getting the best of her. 

“You okay?” 

She jumped slightly and quickly regained her composure. She turned her head and gave Jack a small smile. “Jack. Yeah, I’m fine,” she answered, finding that it was hard to look at him directly in the eyes. She knew she would feel guilty, knowing she would break his heart by the end of the day, but she didn’t think it would feel like that. 

“You don’t look fine.” 

“I, um, I don’t think I did as well on my calculus midterm as I wanted to.” 

“I’m sure you did fine,” Jack answered, rubbing her shoulder tenderly. “Listen, I wanted to ask you… do you want to come over tonight for dinner? My father is still out of town, and Andie and I were thinking of whipping something up. Andie’s a pretty good cook, so you don’t want to miss it.” 

Joey wanted nothing more than to go home and find refuge under her blankets, but she knew she had to have a conversation with him. “Yeah, that sounds good,” she replied, tucking her hair behind her ears. “There’s actually, um, something I need to talk to you about.” 

“Okay,” Jack said, leaning in to kiss her softly on the cheek. “I have to get going now. Do you need a ride home?” 

“No, I’ll catch a ride with Dawson.” 

“Okay. See you later, around six?” 

“I’ll be there,” Joey said with a small forced smile and watched as he turned and headed down the hall. She leaned back against her locker and ran a hand over her face. 

~ 

“Pacey.” 

Pacey was just about to emerge from the building when the soft voice called out to him. He turned around to find Andie standing behind him, her books held protectively to her chest. 

For the first time since that stupid purity test, he remembered Andie and their fight, the fact that he had slept with his English teacher and she was none-too-pleased by it. He couldn’t believe he had forgotten all about that but realized he had had much more pleasant things to think about. 

Suddenly, he felt like an ass. Not only was he going to be breaking up with Andie today, but he’d barely given her a second thought all day. She didn’t deserve that. He knew if things were different, if Joey Potter wasn’t in the picture, that Andie would be someone he could see himself end up with. But Joey was in the picture, and he hated the fact that he had to do what he had to do. 

“Hey, Andie.” 

Andie took a tentative step towards him. “I want to apologize for how I acted yesterday. I overreacted and… what you did in the past is in the past. You were young and… just because I don’t understand something doesn’t mean I have the right to judge you.” 

“I should have told you,” Pacey said tiredly, wishing she wasn’t making it so hard on him to break things off. 

“We’ve only been dating for a few days, Pacey. I shouldn’t know everything about you, not yet anyway. I guess my point is, I know there’s more to know about you, and I want to know about you, Pacey. I want to know everything there is to know; your flaws, your passions, your likes, and dislikes. I want to know you.” 

Pacey stared back at her. For years, maybe his whole life, he had longed for someone to see him in such a way, someone to know his flaws and want to love him, anyway. Andie finally came into his life and it was already too late. He was already gone. 

He suddenly couldn’t help but wonder if Joey liked his flaws, if she could accept them, or if maybe she was just too blind right now to focus on them. That maybe once they were too far into it, his flaws would get to her and drive her away. After all, for the better part of their lives, Joey had hated him. What if it was all just a phase and he would eventually go back to being the thorn in her side? 

“I wanna be with you, Pacey,” Andie continued, breaking him from his reverie. “I’ve never felt this way about a guy, especially so fast and… it scares me. It scares me because, even though I know these things about you, I still want you.” 

Pacey realized her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears. He realized that maybe Andie’s feelings for him were deeper than he had originally thought. 

He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but his eyes shifted past Andie to find Joey standing a few yards away. From the look on her face, he knew she had heard Andie’s declaration. He watched as she slowly turned around and headed back the way she’d come. 

He swallowed the lump in his throat and forced himself to look back at Andie. “I don’t know what to say, Andie,” he said, his voice not sounding like his own. 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Andie breathed. “Will you come over tonight for dinner? We can talk and try to straighten this whole thing out.” 

Pacey nodded even though he knew he should tell her right there and then before things got any deeper. 

Andie stepped on her tiptoes and kissed him softly on the cheek. 

He closed his eyes as she brushed past him. 

~ 

Joey found a small alcove under the staircase and hid in the shadows. She wiped at a tear that was making its miserable descent down her cheek. Andie’s words still echoed in her head; Pacey’s expression as he stared down at Andie was still etched in her mind. He had looked sad, regretful, as Andie confessed her feelings for him and that hurt Joey more than anything. 

Andie was in love with Pacey, Joey knew that much. How had the girl fallen for him so fast when she only knew him for such a short time? And why did Pacey look so affected by it all? Why did he seem to care so much? 

She felt guilty and wasn’t looking forward to breaking up with Jack, but she knew it had to be done. She would be sad and feel horrible, but she wouldn’t be as sad and torn apart as Pacey had seemed. 

Did Pacey care about Andie even more than he realized? 

Joey buried her face in her hands and let out a miserable groan. 

Was she potentially keeping Pacey from something great? 

“Joey? Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine,” Joey spat as she turned her back and wiped at her cheeks. 

“You’re hiding under the stairs crying. You don’t look okay,” Jen said as she stepped into the shadows. “What’s wrong?” 

Joey shot Jen an annoyed look. “Even if I wasn’t okay, what makes you think I’d want to talk to you, of all people, about it?” 

“I’m trying to be the bigger person here, Joey.” 

“Well, go try somewhere else,” Joey bit back. 

Jen shook her head and laughed mirthlessly. “Perhaps the better question should be, why would I want to talk to you after you’ve been nothing but a bitch to me? I’m trying really hard to be a friend here, Joey.” 

“Trust me, Jen, you and I will never be friends.” 

“I thought maybe we could all finally grow up and move on. I’m not with Dawson anymore and you don’t want him, so what’s the obstacle now?” 

“Didn’t you ever sit back and think maybe I just don’t like you? That I see past the fake exterior. I know how you were in New York, Jen. Sex, drugs, alcohol, that was your list of top priorities, right? No one changes that much.” 

Jen set her mouth in a firm line. “I have changed.” 

“Keep telling yourself that. Someone who’s changed wouldn’t have slept with Chris Wolfe three days after knowing him.” 

For the first time since being in Capeside, Jen felt something inside of her snap, and she felt like the old Jen Lindley again, the Jen Lindley who would have knocked Joey out with one punch. “You know what I think? I think you’re just jealous,” she said before she could think about what she was saying. “That’s why you’ve been so hostile towards me the first second I stepped out of that cab.” 

“Jealous?” Joey asked incredulously. 

“Yeah.” 

“I am not jealous of you, trust me.” 

“Sure you are. I came into the picture and took your place. I could do, in a matter of hours, what you were never able to do.” 

Joey stared back at Jen in mild shock. 

“Ever since I stepped foot inside of Capeside, I had Dawson in the palm of my hand. We’ve been broken up for weeks now, and he still follows me around like a lost puppy. And Pacey… it didn’t take much persuading to get him into the backseat of his jeep, and it definitely didn’t take much to have him moaning my name.” 

Joey stared back at Jen, her cheeks burning with rage. “Well, why wouldn’t he hop in the backseat with you, Jen? Your legs spread easier than butter.” 

“As opposed to you, whose legs don’t spread at all? How long do you think Pacey is going to deal with that?” 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“And you don’t know who you’re dealing with,” Jen snapped. “I’ve sat back and taken your bitchiness and snide comments long enough. I tried to be nice. Nice Jen is gone.” 

Joey looked after Jen in surprise when the blonde shoved past her. 

~ 

Later that night, Joey opened her mouth to say something but swallowed her words when she saw that it was Andie who opened the door and not Jack. Guiltily, she averted her eyes and tucked her hair behind her ears. 

“Hey, come on in,” Andie said, stepping aside to allow her in. “Dinner is almost ready.” 

“Thanks,” Joey mumbled. She wanted to get away from Andie and find Jack so she could get it over with. She had no intention of staying for dinner. “Where’s Jack?” 

“He’s upstairs. Just go on up.” 

Joey nodded and headed towards the steps, wanting to get it done and over with. She made her way up to Jack’s room and found the door ajar. She heard his voice, low and subtle, as he spoke to someone. Without thinking about it, she moved closer and tried to listen. 

“I know, I said I was sorry. Things have been complicated. No, don’t say that. You know I miss you. Don’t be mad. I love you, Brad.” 

Joey pulled away from the door, her heart pounding in her throat as Jack’s words registered. He was whispering on the phone, apologizing, declaring his love… to Brad. 

“Hey.” 

Joey whipped around to find Pacey behind her. She could feel the blood draining from her cheeks as he watched her. “H-hey.” 

“Eavesdropping?” 

Joey glanced down at her shoes, unable to look at him. “I, um, I didn’t know you would be here.” 

“Yeah,” Pacey answered, watching her intently. “I have something I need to talk to Andie about… that is if you still think I should.” 

Joey finally lifted her eyes to his, suddenly feeling better than she had all day. Relief washed through her, knowing at that moment that Pacey had no regrets. She lightly tugged at the bottom of his shirt and stepped a little closer. She opened her mouth to reply but Jack interrupted them, sticking his disheveled head out of his door. 

“Hey, I thought I heard someone out here,” Jack said, looking a little bent out of shape. 

Joey gave Pacey one last look that told him everything. 

Pacey nodded and hooked a thumb over his shoulder towards the steps. “I’m gonna head downstairs and see if Andie needs any help.” 

Joey watched until Pacey reached the stairs before turning her attention towards Jack. A swarm of thoughts and emotions overcame her as she wondered about his phone conversation. 

Who was Brad? Why did Jack tell him he loved him? If it was a friend, why had Jack seemed so affected by the conversation? 

“Come in,” Jack said, grabbing her hand and pulling her inside his room. “I feel like I haven’t seen you all day.” He kicked the door shut and pulled her into his arms. 

Joey was taken back by his sudden actions and, when she went to speak, he silenced her with a fierce kiss. 

Before she knew what was happening, Jack was leading her towards the bed, his mouth hot on hers. Her head was a mess, she couldn’t get any of her thoughts straight. 

“I want you, Joey,” Jack moaned as he kissed her neck. 

“Jack.” Before she could object, she was on the bed and Jack was on top of her. She allowed herself to get lost in another one of his kisses. 

The door opened and Andie gasped. “Oh God, you guys! Can’t you at least wait until after dinner to make out? Gross!” 

~ 

Pacey stood at the bottom of the steps, his whole body freezing when he heard Andie’s words. Minutes earlier, his heart had been filled with joy when Joey had given him that look; that look that told him everything was fine and that she still wanted to go through with everything. 

Now she was upstairs making out with Jack, and he felt crushed. Maybe the look she had given him hadn’t been the look he’d thought it was. Maybe it was a look of being let down gently. 

She didn’t want him. Of course, she had second thoughts. Who would want him? 

Andie came down the steps then, shaking her head. “I swear they can’t keep their hands off each other.” 

Pacey forced a soft chuckle, even though he was numb. 

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Andie asked, pushing the sleeves of her sweater up to her elbows. “It sounded pretty serious.” 

“It’s, uh, it’s nothing that can’t wait,” Pacey mumbled, his heart aching in his chest. “I’m gonna have to take a raincheck on dinner, though. I forgot I have an early shift at Screen Play tomorrow.” 

“What? Why? It’s only six.” 

“Yeah, well, I have some homework to do,” Pacey replied, mentally kicking himself for coming up with such an asinine excuse. She knew he didn’t give a shit about homework.

“Homework?” 

“I really need to go. I’m sorry, Andie.” 

“I was hoping we could talk.” 

Pacey cupped Andie’s face in his hands and kissed her forehead. “You have nothing to worry about.” 

Andie smiled softly. She leaned in and kissed him on the mouth. 

Pacey wrapped his arms around Andie and hugged her as his eyes involuntarily looked up the steps, wondering what Joey and Jack were doing. 

~ 

Joey sat on the edge of Jack’s bed, her whole body numb. She vaguely felt Jack shift off the bed. 

“I really need to put a lock on that door,” he mumbled, rubbing a hand over his hair. 

“What was that?” 

“What was what?” Jack asked as he straightened his shirt. 

“That.” 

“So now I have to explain to you why I want to make out with you? You’re my girlfriend. Do I need an excuse?” 

“No, I,” Joey began, not knowing how to wrap her mind around everything. “It came out of nowhere, that’s all. I was just wondering what set it off.” 

“Nothing set it off,” Jack said, a little too defensively. “I was happy to see you.” 

Joey watched Jack as rummaged through a desk drawer. She chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to piece together her words. She knew she had to come right out and ask. “Who’s Brad?” 

Jack visibly tensed. He slowly turned and looked at her warily. “How do you know about Brad?” 

“I… I heard you talking to him on the phone.” 

“You were spying on me?” 

“No, I wasn’t spying on you,” Joey snapped. “I overheard and-“ 

“I think you should go.” 

Joey frowned, surprised by his sudden change in tone. She was convinced more than ever that he was hiding something. “You want me to leave? I was just curious, Jack, I-“ 

“Well, don’t be. It doesn’t matter who Brad is.” 

“He sounded like he mattered when you were talking to him,” Joey said before thinking about it. 

Jack suddenly looked frazzled. “Look, I don’t know where you’re going with this, Joey, but you can stop right now. I want you to go.” 

Joey stood up. “Jack, I’m not… I’m not judging you. I just want to know what’s going on.” 

“Get out.” 

Joey closed her mouth and nodded shortly. “Okay.” 

Jack held the door open for her and then closed it once she walked through. He leaned back against it and ran a hand through his hair. 

~ 

Jen pulled away from Chris’s hot kisses. “I can’t do this.” 

“Why not?” Chris asked, his tone flat. “You were all for it two minutes ago. In fact, you started it.” 

Jen pushed at Chris’s chest and sat up. “I’m having sex… in the back of a car. This isn’t me. Not anymore.” As much as she hated to admit it, Joey Potter’s words had hit her more than she’d wanted them to. But she knew the brunette was right. She hadn’t changed at all, no matter how much she had wanted to. But she could start making better decisions and Chris Wolfe was definitely a bad decision. She was damned if she was going to resort back to her old ways again. 

“You’re kidding me, right? We’ve had sex twice already in this very car and you want to have a conscience now?” 

Jen frowned, suddenly realizing what Chris really thought of her. “Go to hell,” she said as she reached for the door handle. 

Chris grabbed her arm. “Where do you think you’re going? We’re finishing this.” 

“Like hell we are,” Jen said, trying to tear her arm from his grasp. “I should have listened to everyone when they tried to warn me about what a slimeball you are.” She reached for the door again, but Chris grabbed her harder, that time. Suddenly, she wasn’t so calm anymore. She looked at him, the face she had recently become fond of was now the face of a monster. 

“Leaving this car will be a big mistake.” 

Jen swallowed the lump in her throat, suddenly thinking the unimaginable. Was Chris capable of horrible things? What exactly would he do to her? She had spent her fair share of time with guys in the backseats of cars before, but she had never been in this situation. Suddenly, one scary four-letter word was screaming in her mind, and she felt tears stinging her eyes. 

“Chris, just please let me leave this car before you do something you will regret.” 

Chris finally released her arm. “I’m disappointed in you.” 

Jen didn’t listen, only reached for the door as fast as she could. 

“We’re gonna finish this.” 

“Go to hell,” she spat as she hurried out of the car. 

“If we don’t finish this, I’m gonna show the tape to everyone.” 

Jen froze as his words hit her, sending a chill down her spine. She slowly got back into the car and closed the door with her. She looked over at him. “What tape?” 

“The tape I recorded last night. I’ll show it to the whole school. Show everyone, even your friend Dawson, how big of a slut you really are. Show them what kind of kinky things you’re into. Maybe I’ll even show them how you snorted those lines of coke, too. What do you think your grandmother would say then?” 

Jen finally realized the tears that had been threatening to spill over were now crawling down her cheeks. “You wouldn’t do that.” 

“I would,” he assured. “And if I don’t, I’m sure Abby will. You know how much she loves drama.” 

“Why are you doing this to me?” 

“Because I can,” Chris said, reaching over and tracing a finger along the rim of her low-cut shirt. “So, Jenny, what do you say? We can finish this and no one will see the tape… or you can leave and your life here in Capeside will be over as you know it.” 

Jen squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to let any more tears fall. With a slight nod of her head and a soft whimper, she allowed him to get closer. As she leaned back into the seat to allow him to finish what he had started, she had never felt more used, empty, and alone. 

~ 

Andie made her way past Jack’s bedroom, hearing her brother and Joey in what sounded like a heated discussion. She ignored it and continued her way to the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and walked to the mirror. She studied her reflection miserably. 

Things with Pacey hadn’t gone as she had hoped they would. He seemed distant and standoffish, as if he was forcing himself to be around her. She felt foolish for liking him so much. She barely knew him. She also felt stupid for thinking he would even like her. She especially knew that, once he found out about her situation, he would almost definitely run for the hills. 

Without realizing it, she had begun crying as she numbly reached into the medicine cabinet and grabbed the familiar prescription bottle. She took one pill, then two, then three knowing the prescribed one pill would do nothing for her mood that night and that she was going to need an extra push. 

She closed the mirror and continued staring at her reflection; at her pale, tear-streaked cheeks. She sighed miserably, not knowing if she’d be able to handle any more stress right now. 

~ 

Joey left the McPhee house and wrapped her arms around herself as the chilly night air hit her. She walked only a few steps before she noticed Pacey standing next to his jeep, his eyes on her. Slowly, she made her way to him. “Aren’t you staying for dinner?” 

Pacey stared back at her, his eyes sad. “I decided to skip dinner. I don’t have much of an appetite.” 

“Me neither,” Joey answered solemnly. 

“That’s funny,” Pacey said a little coldly. “Usually sex works up an appetite.” 

Joey frowned when his words registered. “What?” 

“Look, Jo,” Pacey began, looking down at the ground. “Maybe it’s better we end this whole thing right now.” 

Joey tilted her chin up a little and shook her head softly. “Pacey, what are you talking about?” 

“This, you and me. We’ve been fooling ourselves here, Jo. We wouldn’t work out, you and I both know that.” 

Suddenly, Joey had her answer. Pacey regretted it and wanted to take it all back. She took her trembling bottom lip into her mouth and forced her eyes somewhere else, trying to force back the tears. 

“This thing between us, I can’t define it and… maybe that’s a bad thing,” Pacey continued. “Maybe we’re just fooling ourselves into thinking there’s something real here.” 

“That’s how you really feel?” Joey asked after a tense moment of silence, her voice quivering. 

“Well, we both know how you feel,” Pacey said dryly. “The first time you’re alone with Jack since last night, you throw yourself at him.” 

“I didn’t throw myself at him,” Joey defended. 

“But you kissed him, didn’t you?” Pacey interjected. 

“Yes, I… I kissed him but. Pacey, you don’t understand.” 

“You didn’t tell him, did you?” 

“I wanted to tell him. I did, but… something happened and I couldn’t do it. Not yet.” 

Pacey dropped his head and shook it. He turned and opened the jeep door, intent on leaving. 

Joey panicked and hurried around to where he was standing and grabbed his arm. “Don’t leave, Pacey.” 

Pacey turned and looked down at her, his eyes sad. “I love you, Joey,” he said, the words surprising even him. 

Joey dropped her hand from his arm, his words stunning her. 

“I love you and… I think a part of me always has. I want this more than anything,” he continued. “I want us to happen. I want you, the whole package. I want to kiss you whenever I want. I want to be the guy who gets to hold your hand and take you to the movies, and I want to be the try-too-hard guy who gets you flowers and wears cologne. I want to be the one who wipes your tears when life gets too hard. I want you, Josephine Potter. Too damn smart for her own good. I want the bitchiness and the wittiness and the sarcasm. All of it.” 

Joey swallowed hard as her eyes swarmed with tears. 

“But unless you’re in it one-hundred percent, I can’t do it. If you don’t want me and all the things that come with that, I can’t do-“ 

Pacey was silenced as Joey leaned up and pressed her mouth against his. 

She pulled away from the soft kiss and touched her forehead to his. “I want all those things too, Pacey,” she whispered. “I want you. All of you.” 

Pacey said nothing, just leaned down to capture her mouth in another kiss. 

Joey muttered against his lips as she cupped her hands around his face. She opened her mouth, inviting him in. She moaned when his tongue slipped in to meet hers. Suddenly, his strong arms wrapped around her waist, and she was pressed against him as the kiss intensified. 

Neither one of them knew what was going to happen tomorrow. Neither one thought about consequences or regrets as they continued to kiss. Both were content, at that moment, with being in their little bubble of happiness. 

The rest would have to wait.


	17. Fade to Black

Pacey had been employed at Screen Play Video for almost a year. Since his date of hire, he had been late thirty-six times, had called in sick over seventeen times, had fallen asleep every time… he had even left the place unattended occasionally, so he knew this one little thing he was doing in the back of the store really wasn’t all that bad in the grand scheme of things.

What was one more rule broken? 

As he contemplated this, he pressed Joey against the wall as his mouth devoured hers. 

He didn’t know how they had ended up back here, just that Joey had stopped by to see him “to talk” and the next thing he knew, they were making out behind the velvet red curtain that separated the back storage room from the rest of the store. 

“Should we be doing this, Pacey?” Joey gasped when his mouth found her neck. She really didn’t seem to want him to answer considering her hand gripped the back of his head, holding him in place. 

“Oh, hell yes,” Pacey muttered as he nibbled on her sweet skin. He couldn’t get enough of her. She was the most perfect, sweetest thing that had ever been his, and he was going to cherish every bit. 

“Someone is gonna catch us,” she pointed out breathlessly. “Maybe we should stop.” 

“Can’t stop,” Pacey muttered as he kissed his way back up to her mouth and silenced her with a kiss. 

“What if a customer walks in and needs help?” Joey continued to argue between kisses. 

“I haven’t had a customer in over an hour.” 

“But someone could walk in.” 

“They can wait.” 

“What if-“ 

“Potter, have I ever told you you talk way too much?” 

Joey smiled against his lips and dug her fingernails into the back of his hair. She kissed him back just as fiercely, finally allowing herself to relax and enjoy his kisses. 

Pacey finally pulled away begrudgingly after a few minutes. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe we should stop. Dawson will be here any minute, and I don’t think this would be the best way for him to find out about us, though it would be funny to see the look on his face.” 

Joey licked her lips and straightened her hair, the mention of Dawson’s name snapping her back to reality. “You’re right. This can’t happen again,” she said. “Not until we straighten everything out. Not until we talk to Dawson… and Jack and Andie.” 

“Funny how Dawson was first in that list,” Pacey said more bitterly than he’d intended as he straightened his smock. 

Joey tilted her head with a smirk. “There’s nothing between me and Dawson, you know that. I’m just saying, he needs to know. Whether or not we like it, he factors into this little equation. We can’t hide it from him forever.” 

Pacey ran a hand down his face, knowing she was right. 

Joey crossed her arms and eyed him. “Jack and Andie definitely have to know, and soon. We can’t keep stringing them along.” 

“Ah, who are Jack and Andie, anyway? They’re new to the group. They’re disposable,” he said with a wave of his hand. “We’ll replace them with new characters.” 

Joey tilted her head. “You know it’s not that easy, Pacey.” 

Pacey sighed and grabbed her hands, entwining his fingers with hers. “You’re right. Nothing is going to be easy, is it?” 

“Nothing except this,” Joey mumbled before stepping forward and kissing him softly on the mouth. 

Pacey’s eyes were still closed when she pulled away. 

Joey smiled as she looked at him. She wanted to tell him exactly how she felt, that it wasn’t just any feeling and he wasn’t just any boy. 

“Pace, I-“ 

She was interrupted, however, when the sudden chime of the bell from the front of the store caused them to unlock their hands and move apart reluctantly. 

“I guess we have to get back to the real world,” Pacey said sardonically. He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss before turning to the red curtain. 

Trying to act as normal as possible, he and Joey exited the backroom to find that Dawson had shown up for his shift. 

“Yeah, so as you can see, we are definitely completely out of Weekend At Bernie’s,” Pacey said. 

Joey hooked her thumbs through her belt loops and nodded her head. “Yep. You were right.” 

Dawson’s eyes moved back and forth between them. “You know you’re not allowed to take anyone back there, Pacey,” he said. 

“Relax, man. It’s not like we were making out or anything,” Pacey replied, earning a hidden elbow nudge from Joey. 

Dawson huffed and walked around the counter, not thinking twice about their actions. 

Joey silently spoke to Pacey with her eyes before saying, “I’m gonna get going. I’ll see you guys later.” 

Pacey watched her until she walked out before looking at Dawson. He sighed and leaned against the counter. He watched as the blond went about his business, and he knew he had to get back on Dawson’s good side again, eventually. 

“Look, man, I hate this weird thing between us.” 

“You mean the weird thing you caused when you kissed Jen behind my back?” 

“Trust me, Dawson. I’m sorry about that. It shouldn’t have happened and I have no interest in Jen what-so-ever. You’re my best friend and I never meant to hurt you. It was a fleeting moment of insanity.” 

“You sure it wasn’t you trying to prove something to me?” 

“Come on, man.” 

Dawson finally looked at him and then sighed, silently admitting to himself that he missed Pacey’s friendship. He especially missed Pacey’s unrelenting guy advice… and that he could really use right now. 

“I think I might be ready to move past it, especially considering any chance of me and Jen getting back together is non-existent now that she’s with Chris.” 

“She’s not with him, man. She’s just having a fling with the guy. It’s just sex.” 

“That makes it even worse!” 

“Look, D. Maybe Jen isn’t the right one for you. Maybe it’s time to move on. Stop wallowing and see what else is out there. You’ll find the right girl someday. When you least expect it, trust me.” 

“Like you with Andie?” 

Pacey swallowed hard but didn’t answer. 

Dawson sighed. “I don’t know anything anymore. First I wanted Jen, then I wanted Joey, then I want Jen and look how that turned out. Maybe I’m looking at things all wrong. Maybe I didn’t give me and Joey enough of a chance. Maybe I need to just take a couple of steps back and re-evaluate everything.” 

“Wait, you’re going back to Joey?” Pacey asked, the good mood he had been in all morning all but gone now. “I thought you decided that you felt nothing when you kissed her.” 

“I didn’t feel that certain magic, but maybe that’s what I’ve been doing wrong all along… trying to force it. Life isn’t a movie, I can’t just force things to happen, and I don’t have the power to write my own script. Maybe if I spend more time with Joey and find that connection we’ve been missing lately, we can blossom into something more, something better.” 

“Until Jen decides she wants you again, right,” Pacey retorted. “Look, man, maybe you should expand your horizons and see what else is out there. Jen Lindley and Joey Potter are not the only two women in the world.” 

“Yeah, but if you really think about it,” Dawson replied. “Who could be more perfect for me than Joey?” 

Pacey felt as if he would be sick as Dawson’s words hung in the air. “And Joey… I thought she felt nothing for you when you guys kissed. Don’t you think she has a say in all of this?” 

“She does,” Dawson replied. “I just have to make her remember what was so magical about us, to begin with.” 

Pacey forced himself to keep a straight face. “And Jack… he doesn’t factor into this at all?” 

“Jack isn’t a threat,” Dawson replied matter-of-factly. “He’ll never compete with the place I have in Joey’s life. Joey’s just confused right now. I know her better than anyone, and I know she’s not in love with the guy.” 

Pacey sat down on his stool, not particularly liking the new obstacle that threatened to stand in his and Joey’s way. 

Jack McPhee was one thing. He, like Dawson, knew Joey wasn’t in love with the guy. Dawson Leery was a whole different story. 

A part of him was convinced that Joey wanted to be with him, Pacey, but another part, perhaps a slightly bigger part, remembered how she had once felt about Dawson and knew that, if given the right circumstances, she could probably feel that way again. 

“I’m glad we can talk again,” Dawson said, breaking Pacey from his thoughts. “I’m going to need someone to talk to about this.” 

Pacey muttered something incoherent and numbly stared down at his hands as Dawson went to work. 

~ 

Joey looked up at the clock as she wiped her last table, counting down the minutes until her hellish shift was finally over. She especially couldn’t wait for it to be over because Pacey had called a bit ago to arrange to pick her up afterward. She felt like a giddy schoolgirl just thinking about being near him. It was almost as if butterflies had taken refuge in the pit of her stomach. 

“Hey.” 

Joey turned at the sudden male voice. Her stomach dropped and her smile faded when she saw that it was actually Jack who had spoken. “Jack… hey.” 

“You look disappointed to see me.” 

“No, I… I just wasn’t expecting you, that’s all,” Joey said, clearing her throat to get her voice under control. “Not after what happened yesterday.” 

“That’s why I’m here,” Jack said. “I wanted to apologize about how I reacted with the whole Brad thing.” 

Joey turned towards him fully, her brows knitting in a frown. “What was that about, anyway?” 

Jack looked at her for a few beats, looking apprehensive. “Can we go somewhere and talk?” 

Joey’s heart sank, knowing she couldn’t turn down Jack that favor and knowing she would be ditching Pacey to do so. Then again, maybe this was her chance to get everything on the table. “Yeah, we can talk.” 

Jack reached over and touched her cheek lightly. 

“Potter, your chariot awaits,” Pacey suddenly declared as he made his way to her. He then stopped in his tracks when he saw Jack standing with her touching her cheek. “Oh… hey.” He wanted to reach over and break Jack’s fingers. 

“Hey,” Joey said, shooting Pacey an apologetic look. “I, um, it turns out I don’t need that ride.” 

Pacey looked as if he’d been kicked in the gut, but he quickly recovered. “Sure thing,” he said before turning around and leaving the restaurant. 

Joey shot Jack a look. “I’ll be right back,” she said before hurrying after Pacey. She caught up with him outside before he could hop into his jeep. “Pacey.” 

Pacey turned and looked at her. “It’s okay. I get it.” 

“Pacey, I’m going to tell him.” 

Pacey looked at her and then visibly relaxed. “I just thought… I guess I’m just… continuously waiting for the other shoe to drop.” 

Joey walked closer to him and looked up into his eyes. “How many times do I have to tell you it’s you I want, Pacey? Not Jack, not Dawson. You.” 

“I guess it all just seems too good to be true,” Pacey said, his voice raspy as he stared down at her. “That any moment now you will realize what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with and go running for the hills.” 

“There’ll be no running,” Joey said with a small smile. She grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I’m going to tell him today. I promise.” 

Without thinking much about it, Pacey leaned down and kissed Joey softly on the mouth. He then pressed his forehead to hers and allowed their breath to mingle. “This is really happening, isn’t it?” 

“Oh, hell yes,” Joey mumbled and then smiled before kissing him again. Losing herself in his kiss, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed against him. 

Neither one of them noticed that Jack had emerged from the restaurant, his face white with shock at what he was seeing. Without making his presence known, he disappeared back into the Ice House. 

“Call me later, okay?” Pacey said when they pulled apart. 

“I will,” Joey assured and gave his hand another squeeze. She watched as he turned to get into the truck. “Hey, Pace?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Everything’s going to be okay.” 

Pacey smiled softly before ducking and disappearing into the truck. 

Joey watched as he drove off and only when he was gone from sight did she go back into the restaurant. 

“Hey,” she said when she found Jack sitting at the counter. “Sorry about that. I had to talk to him about something.” 

“Actually,” Jack said as he stood up. “I have to run. I totally forgot I had to do something important.” 

Joey eyed him, wondering why he didn’t seem to want to look her in the eyes at the moment. “Something important?” 

“Yeah. I’ll call you later,” Jack said before brushing past her. 

Joey watched after him with a frown and then sighed when she realized she had no ride home… and that the very important conversation she had to have with Jack would have to wait even longer. 

~ 

Jen looked out from her porch as Dawson pulled into his yard, coming home from his shift. Reluctantly, she wrapped her arms around herself and made her way out to the yard. She needed to talk to him, needed to feel normal again. 

“Hey.” 

Dawson looked at her, his eyes squinting in the late afternoon sun. “Hey,” he said monotonously. 

“How are you?” Jen asked, trying to keep her voice in check. She would do anything right now to take things back to the way they used to be; back when Dawson looked at her as if she was his entire world; back before Chris and that damned tape, and before she had that hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach constantly. 

“I’m fine,” Dawson answered. “I’m perfect, actually. I’m finally seeing things clearly. I was mad at you, Jen. Mad for breaking up with me, mad for kissing Pacey, mad about you and Chris. But I’m over it now. I’m over you,” Dawson finished with a shrug. “I’ve finally realized what’s important, and that’s me and the people who were in my life before you came along. The only relationships I’m intent on fixing right now are the relationships I lost on account of you.” 

Jen forced back any emotion, refusing to see that his words were killing her on the inside. A part of her had wanted nothing more than to squelch Joey’s words, to prove to everyone and herself that she wasn’t that girl anymore. That maybe she could be the New Jen Lindley, sweet girl from New York that had Dawson Leery’s heart. Maybe she never was that girl. Maybe she never had changed. Even Dawson finally realized who she really was. 

“Good for you, Dawson.” 

“I realized that maybe I was looking at everything all wrong. That maybe I was just blinded by the things I thought I wanted. That maybe I want Joey, and I let you in the way of that for a little while.” 

Dawson’s words were like a punch in the gut, but she kept her composure. “It’s good that you’ve finally realized what you’ve wanted all along, Dawson, because I realized I needed a real man. That’s why you and I didn’t last,” she said before turning around and heading back to her porch, feeling his eyes on her the whole time. 

She had wanted to go up to Dawson’s room, cry and confess to him about the tape and ask for his help and hopefully hear from him that everything would be okay. 

She never thought she’d walk away from him feeling even worse. 

~ 

Pacey cut the engine and sighed heavily as he looked up at his shack of a house. He had been looking forward to going out with Joey, now he had nothing better to do than to go into his house, deal with his shitty parents, and wait for Joey to call. 

He rubbed a hand down his face, finally remembering that he had to have a conversation with Andie. Now was as good a time as any, considering Andie would undoubtedly find out about him and Joey by the end of the day, and he’d rather it come from him than Jack. 

He knew he had only known Andie for a short while, but he liked and respected her and definitely didn’t want to hurt her. He just hoped after all of this that they could remain friends. He felt Andie could be a great influence on him, and he knew he would only benefit from having someone like her in his life. He just hoped that she could see past all of this and know that he wasn’t a complete monster. They had just met at the worst time. 

Pacey was about to restart the truck when movement in his rearview mirror caught his eye. He frowned, trying to see who it was, and then recognition set in as he finally recognized the McPhee’s SAAB. What was Jack doing here? And where was Joey? 

Reluctantly, after Jack parked behind him, Pacey got out of the truck and turned to the other man, foolishly feeling as if they were in an old Western as they stood eyeing each other. He reached for his pocket instinctively, but all he felt there was a pack of gum. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked. 

“I wanted to talk to you,” Jack said. “Man-to-man, which I guess is something you’re not accustomed to.” 

Pacey frowned before sighing, realizing that Joey must have finally dropped the bomb. Wow, that was quick, he thought. 

“Look, whatever Joey told you, we never meant for anyone to get hurt,” he began. 

“Joey didn’t tell me anything,” Jack interrupted. “I saw you two outside of the Ice House.” 

Pacey ran a hand through his hair, suddenly feeling like the world’s biggest ass. No matter how much he disliked Jack, or how much he could admit he really didn’t know the guy, he still felt like an ass for stepping on the guy’s toes. After all, he couldn’t blame the guy for falling in love with Joey Potter. “Look, man, I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize to me,” Jack retorted. “You and I will never be friends, so don’t bother. I’m here to ask you a favor. I’d say you owe me that much for going after Joey.” 

Pacey frowned. “A favor?” 

“There’s something you don’t know about Andie,” Jack began. “She’s sick.” 

“Sick?” 

Jack sighed and crossed his arms as he leaned back against the SAAB. “A year ago, our older brother Tim passed away. Andie took it hard. She became severely depressed and began taking medication… a lot of medication. She’s very fragile, and I don’t want anything to happen to her that will upset her.” 

Pacey took in the information, his heart sinking. 

“Ever since we’ve moved here, ever since she’s met you, she’s been a lot better. I haven’t seen her this happy since Tim passed. I just don’t want anything to happen that will hurt her. I don’t know if she’d be able to handle it.” 

“What are you asking me to do here, Jack?” 

“I’m asking you to do me the one favor you decided not to do when you went after Joey… I’m asking you to be a man. I’m asking you to not hurt Andie.” 

“I can’t do that.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because… I’m in love with Joey,” Pacey replied sullenly after a beat. 

Jack stared back at him. “And Andie’s in love with you.” 

“I’d only be hurting Andie more by lying to her. I can’t pretend to care about her in that way. It’s not fair to anyone, especially her.” 

“Do you know what it’s like, to watch someone you love spiral out of control? To hear them sobbing every night? To watch them struggle at all the things they used to be so good at? I will not let you hurt her.” 

Pacey watched as Jack turned and got back into his car. He leaned back against his truck and watched as Jack drove off. He hesitated for only a few moments before getting back in his jeep. 

~ 

Just as Joey was about to leave the Ice House, gearing up for her long trek home, she nearly ran into Dawson at the door. “Dawson, hey… what are you doing here?” 

Dawson smiled softly. “Came to see you. You’re done already?” 

“Yeah, it’s an early night.” 

“Want a ride home?” 

Joey smiled back crookedly. “Actually, I’d love a ride.” 

Dawson held the door open for her and fell into step with her as they made their way to the car. “Do you have any plans for tonight? I was thinking maybe you could come over and we could watch some movies. We haven’t done that in a while.” 

“Actually, that sounds great. I wouldn’t mind a little escape from reality right about now.” 

Dawson smiled as he opened the door for her. “Good.”

~ 

Pacey parked in front of the McPhee home and was relieved to see that the SAAB wasn’t parked out front. Jack hadn’t gotten to her yet. He got out and jogged to the front door, eager to get the conversation over with. 

Sure, he cared about Andie and felt for her situation, but he felt sure that she would be okay. How far gone could she be, really? They had only known each other for a few short weeks. Surely a breakup with him wouldn’t be as devastating as Jack had implied. 

He knocked on the door and took a step back. When no one answered after a few minutes, he felt relieved and gave up before heading back to his jeep. As he turned to go, the door finally opened, and he turned to find Andie standing in front of him, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

“Andie.” 

Had Jack gotten to her already? Did she know? 

“Pacey,” Andie said before practically throwing herself into his arms. “I’m glad you’re here.” 

Pacey reluctantly hugged her back. “What’s wrong?”

Andie pulled back and looked up at him desperately. “There’s something you need to know, Pacey. Can you come in? I don’t want to be alone right now.” 

Pacey allowed Andie to take his hand, and he followed her into the house, thinking maybe the conversation wouldn’t go as he had hoped. 

~ 

“What do you want to watch? I got classics like Jurassic Park-“ 

“No.” 

“ET.” 

“For someone who loves movies, you would think you’d have more variety in your collection.” 

“I don’t hear you throwing out any suggestions,” Dawson quipped. 

Joey shrugged as she toed her sneakers off and sat down on her usual side of the bed. “How about something that’ll make our own lives seem a little less sucky.” 

Dawson frowned. “What do you mean? Things with you and Jack aren’t going too good?” 

“Jack, um, no. Things are okay,” Joey said. 

“What’s so sucky about your life? It’s not like your ex is prancing around in front of your face with the school’s biggest jock.” 

“You know me,” Joey said with a shrug. “I’m an eternal cynic. Everything about my life sucks even when it’s good.” She then cleared her throat, wanting to change the subject. “So, have you talked to Jen?” 

“Earlier, actually. She came to me wanting to act like nothing ever happened.” 

“And?” 

“And I told her I want nothing to do with her,” Dawson said. “I figured it’s best to just cut ties. She’s made it clear she doesn’t want me in her life anymore. I told her the only relationships I care about are the ones before her… especially ours,” he finished, his voice soft. 

Joey looked at him, catching the tone of his voice and not liking it. “Us?” 

“Yeah. I let Jen come into our lives and put a wedge between us, and I feel like we’ve lost that connection we once had. I feel like she pushed us apart and I want to mend that. I want to be Dawson and Joey again.” 

“And… that’s all that you want?” Joey asked, afraid of the answer. “To be friends?” 

“I wanna be Dawson and Joey,” Dawson answered. “I always thought that meant a lot more than just friends. Don’t you?” 

“Well, yeah… I mean… you’re my best friend, and I agree that we lost sight of that lately, but… ” 

“No buts,” Dawson interrupted with a small smile. “Let’s just take things slow and see how things end up. I don’t want to force anything. Let’s just be Dawson and Joey for a while and let fate take over.” 

Joey frowned a little when Dawson turned towards his DVD collection. She was confused and wasn’t exactly sure what Dawson was implying, but she was too afraid to elaborate, afraid that he hinted at much more than friendship. 

~ 

The only sound Pacey could hear was the thundering beat of his heart and the ticking clock above the mantel. For the past twenty minutes, he had sat there, stiff as a board, as Andie explained her situation, tearfully. She opened her heart and laid everything out of the table, spilling her guts and secrets so willingly. 

“I know it’s a lot to take in,” Andie mumbled, her voice broken. 

Pacey swallowed the lump in his throat and forced himself to look into her red, teary eyes. He reached over and grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry, Andie. I’m sorry you have to go through all this. I’m sorry about your brother.” 

“I can just imagine what you think of me. You probably think I’m a loon.” 

“No, I don’t think that, Andie. I think you’re strong and brave and I feel for you. No one should have to deal with this, especially you.” 

The corner of Andie’s mouth tilted up slightly in the hint of a smile. “Today has been hard. All I can think about is him. I heard a song earlier that he used to love, and I just lost it.” 

“Thanks for sharing this with me, Andie.” 

“I trust you, Pacey. I know you won’t judge me. I know you’re a good person.” 

Pacey unlocked his eyes with hers, knowing he was far from good. It was nice to know, however, that she held him in such high regard. She was the first person who had never judged him… the first woman who ever seemed to see him for him at first glance. 

“That’s why I’m falling for you,” Andie continued, her voice quivering. “I don’t know how it happened, and especially so fast, but I’m falling for you, Pacey. For the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful that everything will be okay.” 

Pacey looked back into her eyes and knew in his heart he couldn’t do it; he couldn’t break it to her. Not yet, not now. 

With little warning, Andie leaned in and kissed him softly on the mouth and, with a heavy heart, Pacey realized he let her do it. 

~ 

It was raining by the time Pacey got to Joey’s house later that night. He’d left Andie’s and drove around for almost an hour, his mind and heart a jumbled mess. When he’d finally gotten home, his mother had given him “Josie’s” message to meet her at her house. 

He sat parked in the Potter driveway, staring numbly at the rain, not wanting to get out just yet. He didn’t have to, because after a few minutes, the door to the house opened and Joey ran out, holding a coat above her head to shield her from the rain. 

She opened the door to the truck and hopped in, closing the door with her. “Hey. Why are you just sitting out here?” she asked, beads of rain running down her face. “You could have come in.” 

Pacey looked at her, his heart heavy in his chest. He had never felt more torn in his life. 

“What’s wrong?” Joey asked, reaching over to touch his arm. “Look, I know I was supposed to tell Jack about us, but when I went back inside the restaurant he rushed out of there like a bat out of hell, and he hasn’t been answering my calls since. I promise I’ll tell him tomorrow.” 

Pacey tore his eyes from hers and looked out of the windshield, watched as the rain ran down the glass. 

“Are you mad at me?” Joey asked, her voice childlike. 

“No. No, I’m not mad at you, Joey,” Pacey said, barely above a whisper. 

“Pacey. Why won’t you look at me? What’s wrong? What happened?” 

Pacey swallowed the lump in his throat, forcing back tears as he finally looked at her. “This isn’t gonna work.” 

Joey slowly removed her hand from his arm, her heart sinking in her chest. “What do you mean this isn’t gonna work?” 

“Everywhere we turn, there’s something in our way.” 

Joey looked away and gnawed on her lower lip for a beat for saying, “Yeah, but we can overcome everything, Pacey.” 

“What if it’s not worth it?” Pacey asked solemnly. “Maybe this is God’s way of telling us this isn’t right.” 

Joey looked at him, her face pained. “Okay, what changed, Pacey? This afternoon you were so sure about us, and now…” 

“Nothing’s changed,” Pacey interrupted. “I still feel the same way.” 

“Then what?” Joey snapped. “What’s different, Pacey? What’s this about? Is it about Jack? I told you, I’m telling him. Is it about Dawson? We’re just friends. What’s standing in our way but us, Pacey?” 

“Everything, Jo! Don’t you get it!” Pacey exclaimed. “Everything is in our way! Jack, Dawson, Andie. Nothing will be easy and maybe there’s a reason for that!” 

Joey realized her eyes were burning with tears as his words hit her like daggers to the chest. 

“Andie’s sick, Jo. She’s sick, and I care about her, and she’s falling in love with me. How can I hurt her? Dawson… he still has feelings for you, and today we made a step towards rebuilding our friendship. Jack… I don’t even know the guy and yet I did the shittiest thing I’ve ever done to the guy. You… how do I know you’re not just confused and thinking you want me? After all, you thought you wanted Dawson for ten years and look how that turned out.” 

Joey was crying openly, not knowing what to say. “I can’t believe you just said that.” 

Pacey refused to look at her, not wanting to see her cry. “I’m just saving us from the heartache, Jo,” he mumbled. “I’m giving you an out. You’re off the hook.” 

Joey, unable to be in the car with him any longer, opened the door and stepped out into the rain. She slammed the car door shut and started towards her house. 

Pacey swore under his breath before hopping out of the truck to follow her. He was immediately pelted with sharp cold beads of rain as he grabbed her arm. “Jo, look at me.” 

“You said all you needed to say!” Joey yelled as she turned to face him. She tore her arm from his grasp. 

Pacey stared down at her, the rain stinging his eyes. He did everything he could not to pull her to him and kiss her. 

“So, what? You’re gonna stay with Andie? You’re gonna stay with her because she’s sick? I think you’re the one who’s running, Pacey. You’re the one who’s afraid. You’re so damn insecure that you won’t let yourself be loved. You’re too damn stubborn to see what’s right in front of you. You’re taking the easy way out. You’re letting yourself off the hook!” 

Pacey said nothing as he stared down at her, now drenched in the rain. 

“I think you want to have a damsel in distress. You want to be the hero, Pacey. Truth is, you’re nothing but a coward.” Joey turned and hurried up the steps and into the house, slamming the door shut behind her. 

Pacey stood in the rain for a long time, feeling more lost, confused, and alone than ever.


	18. Four's a Crowd

After hiding out in her house for two days, Joey finally concluded that she had to face the real world, eventually. She knew there were only so many excuses she could give before certain people started wondering and asking questions she didn’t have answers for.

After ignoring calls from both Jack and Dawson, she finally decided to pay her best friend a visit, hoping to escape into an old routine and get her mind off everything. She especially needed to derail her mind off the continuous train of thoughts she’d been having; constantly wondering what Pacey was doing, if he was with Andie, if he was missing her as much as she missed him, why he hadn’t called…

Then again, why would he call? She had clarified that it was over. She had even called him a coward... words she wished she could take back but also knowing deep down that she had meant them. 

He was running. He was going with what was safe. He was doing the exact thing he had accused her of doing with Jack. 

Or maybe she was the dumb one. Maybe she was the safe option, and he was following his heart. Maybe he really cared about Andie… 

She pushed that devastating thought away and climbed up the ladder and ducked into Dawson’s bedroom to find him lounging on the bed, his eyes on the TV as usual. Out of habit, she dug her hands into her back pockets and felt awkward when he didn’t notice her at first. 

“Hey.” 

Dawson sat up straight when he finally tore his eyes from the screen. “Joey, where have you been? I’ve been calling you all weekend!” 

“I’ve been busy,” Joey said with a shrug, avoiding his eyes. 

“Busy with what?” Dawson asked, which irritated her to think he found it so impossible for her to have plans that didn’t include him. She realized she found a lot of stuff about Dawson irritating lately. 

“Stuff.” 

“Well, are you staying? I have an idea for a new film, and I really want to go over it with you, get your intake. You know I need your stamp of approval before I can start anything.” 

“A new film idea?” Joey asked, sitting down on her usual side of the bed. For the first time in days, she smiled, eager to have something new to think about. “Dawson, that’s great!” 

“Yeah. Inspiration finally hit me. I found my muse again,” Dawson said, smiling softly back at her. “And there’s nothing I’d rather do right now than sit down with my two best friends like old times and go over it. Who knows, maybe I can even use you and Pacey as my leads again. It will be a tale of a sordid teenaged love story set in the throes of the Civil War, but it’s gonna have everything; drama, romance, suspense, even humor…” 

Joey’s smile faded at the mention of Pacey. The last thing she wanted to do was to be anywhere near Pacey, and it differed from any other time in the past. Before, she didn’t want to be around him because she disliked him. Now, she didn’t want to be around him because she loved him. 

“I know it sounds kind of ambitious for a sixteen-year-old with not much experience on anything, but I have some great ideas for it. I’ve been doing a lot of brain-storming and…” 

“I don’t know, Dawson,” Joey interjected. “Pacey and I didn’t exactly work well together on your last film. Do you really think it’s a good idea that we play your leads?” 

Dawson’s smile faded, looking slightly annoyed that she didn’t have a comment on his plot idea. “Yeah, but that was before… and you guys are friends now, aren’t you? “ 

“Um, I guess you can say that,” Joey said, looking down at her hands. 

“Don’t tell me you two have gone back to hating each other right when I need you guys!” Dawson exclaimed. “What happened now?” 

“Nothing happened,” Joey snapped, tucking her hair behind her ears, wishing he’d change the subject. “I just don’t think we should work together, that’s all. Old animosities may resurface and all that.” 

“I hate to admit it, but you guys have the on-screen chemistry. I’ve always seen it while filming. You two just don’t know how to sit still long enough to work with it.” 

“I don’t know, Dawson. I’d rather not.” 

Dawson’s shoulders slumped, and he sighed. “Maybe you’re right. The part would involve touching and kissing, I’m even thinking of doing a love-making scene. That probably would be weird.” 

Joey looked down at her hands yet again. 

“I guess you can help me produce. You and I have always made a great team. Maybe I can see if Andie will be my leading lady. I’m sure she won’t mind the extra time spent with Pacey since they’re now officially a couple.” 

Dawson’s words hit Joey like a punch to the chest. The fact that they were an official couple and had clued Dawson in on that fact was gut-wrenching. 

Irrationally, all weekend she had hoped that maybe Pacey and Andie had decided to be friends, that maybe Pacey had realized the error of his ways and had decided it was her, not Andie, that he wanted. 

Dawson’s words snapped her back to her cold reality, a reality where Pacey didn’t regret his decision. A reality where Andie was who he wanted… and she had no choice but to accept it. 

The entire time she had been falling for Pacey, she had been scared of rejection, and she had done everything she could to forget about her feelings, forget about him. She hadn’t been able to fight it and had succumbed to her feelings only to be hurt more than she ever thought possible. 

Now, she did everything she could to keep her emotions in check and hope that Dawson didn’t notice her heartbreak. 

“I can’t believe Pacey finally landed himself a real girlfriend. Someone his own age… and someone like Andie,” Dawson continued with a laugh. 

“Are you saying Andie is too good for Pacey?” Joey asked, perhaps a little too defensively. 

“I’m just saying… Andie seems smart, and she’s really pretty. She could probably have anyone in school, and she chose Pacey. He’s probably over the moon.” 

“Or maybe Pacey chose her,” Joey snapped. She then relaxed at the confused look on Dawson’s face, knowing she was treading on dangerous ground. “I should go. I promised Bessie I’d help with Alexander.” 

“What? But you just got here and Pacey’s on his way over now! I was really hoping to get the two of you for at least half an hour. I really want both of your opinions.” 

“Maybe some other time,” Joey said, standing and heading to the door, wanting to get far away from that room and any talk of Pacey and Andie. It had been a mistake to think she was ready to face anyone yet. “I’ll see ya, Dawson.” She opened the door and was suddenly face to face with pretty blue eyes. 

“Joey.” 

Joey stared back at Pacey, wondering if her body would remember to breathe on its own. 

“Pacey’s here. Good! Now you can stay for a half an hour, Joey, and help me out,” Dawson said, unaware as usual. “Please!” 

Joey finally tore her eyes from Pacey’s, knowing that even though she had wanted to bolt two seconds before, she had no intention of leaving, no matter how much it hurt. 

“I, um, I guess I can stay.” 

“You don’t have to stay, Jo,” Pacey said, his words just low enough for only her to hear. 

“I told Dawson I’d stay,” Joey said firmly, avoiding his eyes. 

“Great,” Dawson exclaimed, unaware of his best friends’ inner turmoil. “I want to run through some ideas with you guys, maybe even get a storyboard started.” 

As Dawson walked around his room gathering needed material for his storyboard, Pacey and Joey stood awkwardly facing each other. 

“How are you?” 

“You really want to ask me that, Pacey?” 

“I just want to make sure you’re okay.” 

Joey finally lifted her eyes to his. “No. I’m not okay, Pacey,” she admonished before turning and heading to the bed, wanting to get it over with. 

“Sorry, I’m here! I just wanted to stop and introduce myself to your mom, Dawson. She’s such a sweet lady!” 

“She has her moments,” Dawson replied playfully. 

Joey froze at the sound of Andie’s voice, and she suddenly wished she had escaped when she had the chance. 

“Joey!” Andie exclaimed. “There you are! My brother has been calling you all weekend! We should have known you’d be hiding out at Dawson’s!” 

Joey took a deep breath before turning to face the blond girl, missing the sad look on Pacey’s face. “I’ve, um, been busy. I’ll call him later.” 

Andie smiled, seemingly happy with the response, and then walked over to where Dawson was rummaging through his desk drawers. “Need help with anything?” 

“Sure,” Dawson said with a gentle smile. 

Joey looked at Pacey miserably, seeing the look of concern on his face. She brushed past him and left the room, mumbling something about having to use the restroom. 

Just as she reached the bathroom door, Pacey’s voice stopped her. “I didn’t know you would be here, Jo. If I did, I wouldn’t have brought Andie.” 

Joey turned around, mustering all the nonchalance that she could. She shrugged, but the scowl remained on her face. “You don’t have to explain to me why you brought your girlfriend, Pacey.” 

Pacey shoved his hands into his pockets. “I never meant to hurt you, Joey. I never meant for it to play out like this.” 

“Look, you’ve made your choice. We both have to just move on… some of us quicker than others,” she answered bitterly. 

Pacey sighed and looked down at the floor. 

Joey eyed him for a beat before saying, “You know what I don’t get, Pacey? How you constantly ribbed me for going with Jack, for choosing the safe option, but that’s exactly what you’re doing. You’re going with Andie because she’s safe. You’re staying with her because it’s the most comfortable option.” 

“I guess I’m just trying to save myself the heartache,” Pacey said sullenly. 

“What? Why do you automatically assume it would end in heartache?” 

“Because for the better parts of our lives, you’ve never failed to tell me how much of a screw up I am. You never let me forget that I was scum on the bottom of your shoe. Excuse me for not fully trusting that I’m suddenly who you want. That because things didn’t work out with Dawson, you’re just moving onto the next available option.” 

Joey wanted to tell him how wrong he was, that she had never opened herself up to him, had never allowed herself to see what was really there inside of him but, for some reason she didn’t understand, she set her mouth in a firm line and tilted her chin up. “Well, I guess we have nothing left to say to each other.” 

“I’m just limiting the fallout here, Jo,” Pacey said solemnly. “You’ll thank me one day. You’ll look back and realize I saved you a lot of wasted time and energy. Maybe we’ll even look back at all of this and laugh.” 

Joey stared back at him, her eyes clouding over with unshed tears, her emotions finally getting the best of her. “You think I will look back at all of this and laugh, Pacey? I’ll look back at this and remember how I had finally allowed myself to open up completely to someone; how I finally allowed myself to feel important to someone, to feel love and be loved, only to be dumped flat on my face.” 

“Jo,” Pacey mumbled, taking a step forward. 

“Don’t, Pacey.” 

Pacey reached out and touched her shoulder. “I don’t want you to think that.” 

“What am I supposed to think?” Joey asked miserably, lifting her damp eyes to his concerned ones. 

“Is everything okay out here?” Dawson asked, poking his head out. 

Before Dawson could see her face, Joey turned and disappeared into the bathroom. 

Pacey stood there, staring at the closed bathroom door. 

“Pace, is there something going on between you and Joey?” Dawson asked, his words hanging between them. 

Pacey waited to answer, his mind and heart still trying to catch up. “She hates me, Dawson. What else is new?” he said solemnly before brushing past his best friend and going back into the bedroom. 

Dawson frowned softly, knowing that he had interrupted a very deep, very personal conversation between his two best friends. 

The bathroom door opened and Joey re-emerged looking no worse for wear. She smoothed her hair back behind her ears and lifted her eyebrows. He knew her enough to know that she was putting up a front. 

“You ready?” 

“What did I just interrupt?” 

Joey shrugged. “Nothing.” 

“You’re lying.” 

“We were just tossing back and forth some sarcastic barbs. It’s what we always do,” Joey said nonchalantly. 

“The reason you’ve been distant lately, the reason you didn’t want to work with him on this project,” Dawson began, finally mentally piecing things together. “There’s something going on between you two, isn’t there?” 

Joey sighed, silently fuming that Dawson would pick now, of all times, to start being not-so-oblivious to the goings-on around him. “Nothing’s going on, Dawson. Trust me.” 

Dawson scoffed and could only follow her back into the bedroom. There were a million things he wanted to ask her but knew he would probably get no answers. 

Pacey and Andie looked up from where they were sitting on the bed. 

Joey avoided Pacey’s eyes at all costs and took a seat at Dawson’s desk. 

“Pacey was just trying to talk me into leaving,” Andie said to Dawson. “But I told him we couldn’t leave without hearing your ideas first. I’m so excited! I’ve never been involved in something like this before.” 

Dawson smiled at Andie’s enthusiasm, briefly forgetting about Pacey and Joey. 

“I’m so great at organizing things, and I even helped produce a school play in Providence, so if you need me for anything, I can help!” Andie said bubbly. 

“Great,” Dawson said with a smile before his attention fell on his two crestfallen friends. “I’m gonna need all the help I can get.” 

~ 

“I think your story is great,” Andie said as she and Dawson bent their heads together at his storyboard. 

Joey crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, wondering exactly why she was still here. It seemed like Dawson and Andie had everything under control. Dawson was like a giddy schoolboy over the fact that Andie seemed so interested in everything he was showing and explaining to her. 

“I don’t want things to be weird between us, Jo,” Pacey said, suddenly behind her. 

Joey turned around and sighed. “Pacey, drop it okay? It’s done. We’re done. You’ve made that clear. Wait, we were never on, were we? I think… no, I’m sure you led me on, forced me to choose between you and Jack, I went with my heart, and you picked someone else. Yeah, that’s what happened.” 

“I didn’t lead you on, Jo. I meant everything I said.” 

“So, what? You just like Andie a little more?” 

Pacey sighed and turned away then. 

Joey watched him as he went to one of Dawson’s shelves before turning her attention back to Dawson and Andie. She watched as the two blondes laughed at something. She watched as Andie’s hand touched Dawson’s forearm. She listened as Dawson animatedly talked about his plot, looking happy to have someone be as interested in it as he was. 

Why couldn’t Dawson have gotten to Andie first? 

~ 

Almost an hour later, Pacey stood up. “You ready to head out, McPhee?” 

Andie all but pouted at the idea. “I kinda want to stay and go over all of this with Dawson. It’s interesting. Don’t you think it’s interesting? You guys have your very own Martin Scorsese.” 

Dawson beamed. 

Joey did all she could to not snort. 

“Well, yeah… but I have some things to do.” 

“You can stay,” Dawson offered to Andie. “I wouldn’t mind. I need all the help I can get.” 

Andie looked at Pacey questionably. 

Pacey shrugged. “Fine with me.” 

Joey looked away when Andie walked to Pacey and gave him a quick kiss. 

“I’ll have Jack pick me up later,” Andie explained. 

Pacey nodded before looking at Joey. “You need a ride, Jo?” 

“I can walk,” Joey said without bothering to look up from the book she was flipping through. 

Pacey looked outside, particularly to the rain pelting against the windows. “It’s raining out.” 

“Then I’ll get wet, I guess.” 

Pacey’s chest heaved with a sigh, and he knew there was no use in arguing with her. He dropped his head and turned to leave the room. 

Joey finally looked up from the book and at his retreating form. Against her better judgment, she put the book to the side and got up to follow him. 

Once alone in the hallway, she said, “It won’t be the same between us, you know? We can’t just go back to being friends and act like everything is okay.” 

Pacey turned to face her, his only answer a simple nod. 

Joey opened her mouth to say more but refrained, not exactly knowing what else she could say. She looked down at her shoes, desperately trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. 

“So, what does that make us then?” Pacey asked, his voice not sounding like his own. 

“It leaves us back where we started,” Joey replied solemnly. “Nothing.” 

Pacey shoved his hands into his pockets and looked off down the hall. “Yeah. Yeah, okay,” he said before turning and heading towards the steps. 

Joey watched after him as he retreated down the stairway. She finally gave up and allowed her tears to fall. She leaned against the wall and wiped at her cheeks, not remembering a time when she had ever felt this miserable. Suddenly, she caught her breath and hurried down the steps, not wanting to leave things like that. 

“Joey, honey, I didn’t know you were here,” Gail said at the bottom of the steps. 

“Hey, Mrs. Leery,” Joey said, eager to catch Pacey before he left. She wanted to tell him everything; that she loved him, that she wanted to be with him, that being with Andie was a mistake. She wasn’t above begging at that point. She wanted to lay everything out on the line. “I, um, I really have to go.” 

Gail opened her mouth to respond but Joey was already out the door. 

She froze on the porch when she saw that Pacey had already left. With a heavy heart, she wrapped her arms around herself and started off in the rain, having no intention of going home. She didn’t think about the rain as it drenched her, she only felt better when it hid her tears. 

~ 

Dawson watched Andie from the corner of his eye as she talked on the phone with her brother. He quickly looked away when she said goodbye and hung up. 

“He’ll be here in ten minutes,” Andie said as she sat down Indian-style on the bed. “I wish I could stay. I had a lot of fun tonight.” 

“Me too,” Dawson said with a smile, hating to see her go. He liked Andie. She was smart and funny and genuinely seemed interested in things he had to say. Her eyes didn’t gloss over whenever he started to talk about movies like Joey and Pacey’s sometimes did. And he liked her laugh. She had a very contagious laugh. He laughed more tonight than he had in weeks. 

Andie smiled as she played with his ET doll. 

“You like the script outline so far?” 

“I really do. I’m excited about working on it.” 

Dawson’s ego swelled. “So, I wanted to ask… how would you feel playing the female lead? Pacey’s in for the male lead, so I just think it’s fitting.” 

“Me? Female lead? Oh, no!” Andie exclaimed, shaking her head vigorously. “I’m a behind-the-scenes kinda girl.” 

“But you’ll get to kiss Pacey, I figured you’d jump at the chance.” 

“Well, kissing Pacey is definitely becoming one of my favorite past-times, but I can’t do it. Once I get in front of an audience, I get all clammy and fidgety and it’s not pretty, believe you me!” 

Dawson smiled again. He then sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Well, Joey’s already out, so I have no idea who can play Rebecca.” 

“Joey would be perfect as Rebecca!” Andie exclaimed. “From what I’ve gathered, she’s feisty and free-spirited and doesn’t take any crap from anyone, especially Henry.” 

“Well, I wrote Rebecca’s character based on Joey. I really thought she would play her, but she’s holding firm. She doesn’t want to play opposite Pacey.” 

“Well, we’ll just have to change that, now won’t we?” 

Dawson raised an eyebrow. 

Andie smiled. “I can be very persuasive if need be.” 

Dawson laughed and watched as Andie grabbed for his rough draft script. “So, you really like Pacey?” 

“Why do you say that as if it’s hard to believe?” 

“It’s not. I’m just happy he found someone.” 

“Someone who’s not a teacher?” Andie asked with a smirk, still a little put off by that whole situation. 

“Someone like you.” 

Andie caught Dawson’s eyes, and then they both immediately looked away. “I should go. Jack should be here any minute.” 

“Okay,” Dawson said as he stood, confused by the moment that had passed between them. He immediately felt guilty for even having a moment with Andie. She was his best friend’s girl, and he was being ridiculous. So he met a girl who enjoyed talking about movies, who didn’t think he was dumb for obsessing about it. So what? A girl who made him feel at ease, who made him feel as if he’d known her for years. 

“I’ll see you in school, Dawson.” 

“See ya, Andie,” Dawson said. He stood in the middle of his room even after she left, still confused by the fact that he was sad to see her go. 

~ 

The next day at school, Joey faltered in her step when she caught Jack standing at her locker. She took a deep breath and finally made her way to him, knowing it was time to rip off the band-aid. She didn’t even care about the repercussions anymore, she just wanted one less thing in her life to worry about. 

“Where were you all weekend?” Jack asked. “I’ve been calling you.” 

“I’ve been around,” Joey answered as she fidgeted with her combination. She had never broken up with anyone before; she didn't know how to go about it. 

“I know about you and Pacey.” 

Joey froze as his words hit her. She slowly turned to face him, her face crestfallen. She felt a mixture of relief and remorse at the fact that Jack already knew. 

“I saw the two of you kissing outside the Icehouse. I was right all along about you two, wasn’t I?” 

Joey sighed, deciding it was useless to deny it anymore. “I’m sorry, Jack. It was something I was fighting, and I… I couldn’t fight it anymore. It just happened. I never meant for you to get hurt or caught in the middle. By the time I figured things out…” 

“You were in too deep with me and felt you had to drag me along,” Jack finished. 

“No, I wasn’t dragging you along, Jack. I liked you. I did.” 

“You liked Pacey more, right?” 

Joey looked down at her shoes. “Something like that.”

Jack ran a hand through his hair and looked down the hall. When he looked back at her, his face softened. “Look… It’s okay. I get it.” 

“It is? You do?” 

“Yeah. I know how it feels to harbor feelings for someone, and have everything in you tell you it’s wrong, and then one day you can’t fight it anymore. Against your better judgment, you can’t help but follow your heart.” 

Joey sighed, tears springing to her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Jack. I never meant for any of this to happen.” 

“Hey, I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time,” he said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. 

Joey wiped away a tear. “It doesn’t matter, anyway. He picked your sister, so she has nothing to worry about.” 

Jack watched her, knowing at that moment how much she cared about Pacey. A part of him felt bad, considering he was the one who had pushed Pacey to choose Andie to begin with. He still stood behind what he did, but he suddenly felt guilty. 

“Hey, guys,” Andie said, suddenly walking up to them, her books held against her chest. “Joey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” 

“Nothing, no reason. I have to go,” Joey said before brushing past the siblings. 

Andie looked at Jack with a raised brow. 

Jack sighed. “We broke up.” 

“What? Why? You two are so good for each other.” 

Jack wanted to tell his sister how wrong she was; that Joey was in love with Pacey, and that he was in love with a guy named Brad, but he definitely didn’t say any of that out loud. “We’re better off as friends. That's all you need to know.” 

~ 

“You didn’t mind that Andie stayed last night, do you?” Dawson asked as he fell into step with his best friend. 

“No, I don’t mind,” Pacey said as he rubbed at his eye. He had gotten no sleep the night before, Joey’s words haunting him, and he had practically dragged himself to school. 

“She left about an hour after you guys did, and we just talked about the movie. That’s all. No weird moments or anything.” 

Pacey looked at Dawson with a frown, wondering why his best friend was rambling, and why he felt the need to explain himself. It almost seemed as if his best friend was guilty of something. “Seriously, Dawson. It’s fine.” 

Just as he turned his head, he caught sight of Joey, and his heart jumped to his throat. He watched as she walked towards them, unaware that they were a few yards in front of her. Finally, she looked up, caught sight of them and then stopped as she looked from side to side, looking for a chance to escape. 

“Hey, there’s Joey,” Dawson pointed out. 

‘Keen eye, Dawson,’ Pacey thought to himself. 

Joey must have realized there was no escaping, and she finally ducked her head and made her way to them. “Hey.” 

“Hey,” Pacey muttered, realizing he couldn’t be around her right then. “I gotta go.” 

Joey watched in near disbelief as Pacey brushed past them and disappeared into the crowd of students. 

Dawson sighed. “I knew it.” 

“Knew what?” Joey asked miserably. 

“He’s upset because Andie stayed last night after he left,” Dawson answered, running a hand through his hair. “He’s been acting weird all day. I told him nothing happened, but you know how insecure Pacey is about those kinds of things.” 

Joey looked away, wanting to get far away from that conversation. It hurt to even think Pacey was jealous of anything having to do with Andie. “I should get going. I’m going to be late for class.” 

Dawson watched as Joey walked away from him and he heaved another sigh, having an inkling that maybe Joey wasn’t too happy with him spending extra time with Andie either. He then smiled softly. Maybe that meant she did still have feelings for him after all. 

~ 

“I heard about you and my brother. I’m sorry.” 

Joey looked up from her lunch. Her stomach immediately dropped. Andie was the last person she wanted to talk to today. “Um, thanks.” 

Andie pulled out a chair and sat down. “I want you to know that, even though you and my brother aren’t together anymore, you and I can still be friends. In fact, I’m excited about working on this new movie with all of you guys, and I don’t want there to be any weirdness.” 

Joey gave a small, forced smile and went back to forking through her lumpy potatoes. 

“I really think you should play Rebecca.” 

Joey’s eyes shot up and then she frowned. “What?” 

“Dawson’s female lead, Rebecca McKay. You’d be perfect for the role.” 

“I already told Dawson I can’t do it.” 

“I think you should reconsider. You and Pacey would be perfect together.” 

If Joey had been eating her lunch, she would have choked. “Um… what? We…” 

“Come on, Joey. I really want to help Dawson direct and produce. I’m great at behind-the-scenes type things, and I can really use the challenge. Something to keep me busy. And you and Pacey both have that spark, that personality. You guys would be perfect as Rebecca and Henry. I know you guys are kinda wary about the whole romantic aspects of it, but trust me… kissing Pacey Witter isn’t the worst thing in the world.” 

Joey averted her eyes again. 

“Please say you’ll do it, Joey. It’ll mean a lot to Dawson.” 

Why did this girl care so damn much about what it meant to Dawson? Joey sighed and finally put her fork down. Even though the thought of playing opposite Pacey in a romantic role would be sheer torture, in far different ways than it used to be, she also knew that she would get the chance to kiss and touch him again, even if it was for show. 

“Okay. Fine. I’ll do it.” 

Andie beamed. “Great!” 

~ 

Jack hefted his backpack on his shoulder as he made his way down the hall. Movement from beneath the stairwell caught his attention, and he paused and craned his neck to look. He frowned and made his way over. “Are you okay?” 

Jen’s head snapped up, and she quickly swiped at the tears rolling down her cheeks. “I’m fine,” she said, even though she was far from. She felt like a leper. Dawson wouldn’t even look at her. No one in school talked to her. Chris Wolfe was making her life a living hell, constantly threatening to show their sex tape if she even considered telling him she wouldn’t put out. Her life was spiraling out of control, and she felt powerless to stop it. 

“Something tells me when a girl is hiding under the stairs at school crying, she’s not fine.” 

Jen walked out from underneath the stairs and fixed her skirt. “I said I’m fine,” she admonished. “Aren’t you Joey Potter’s little boy toy? Shouldn’t you be following her around somewhere?” 

Jack eyed the girl, wondering if he should tell her that her mascara was running. “We broke up today. Turns out, she’s into someone else.” 

“So, you’re single?” 

“That I am,” Jack answered, wondering why her voice was suddenly taking on a different tone. 

“Joey Potter dumped you?” 

“Yes,” Jack answered slowly. Before he could even think about what was happening, Jen grabbed him by the collar and pulled him underneath the stairs. He was pushed against the wall as she kissed him vigorously. He allowed himself to get lost in her kisses. He hefted her up, allowed her to wrap her legs around his waist, and then she was pressed against the wall. 

He knew in the back of his mind that it was wrong for so many reasons, but he was hiding a deep dark secret, and as he had done with Joey, he needed someone, a girl, to hide behind. And Jen Lindley was definitely a girl. 

Jen knew in the back of her mind that it was wrong for so many reasons, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything anymore, especially about Joey Potter. She wanted to get back at the little bitch and making out with her newly ex-boyfriend seemed like a good idea. And it felt good to get lost in someone’s kisses. It felt good to forget. 

~ 

At the end of the day, Joey headed to her locker and stopped when she spotted Pacey down the hall at his own. She tucked her hair behind her ears, gave herself a silent boost of confidence, and then made her way to him. “Hey.” 

Pacey looked at her, visibly tense. “Hey,” he said casually before focusing on rummaging through his locker again. 

“I didn’t mean what I said last night, Pacey. About us being nothing.” 

“Well, it’s true, right? Before all this happened, we were nothing to each other.” 

“Pace, you’ll never be nothing to me,” Joey answered, her voice catching. “You… you’re everything.” 

Pacey finally looked at her, his shoulders relaxing. He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted. 

“There you guys are!” Andie said as she approached them. “Are you telling Pacey the good news?” 

“What, uh, what good news?” Pacey asked, having to clear his throat, Joey’s words still resonating through his head. 

“Joey agreed to play Rebecca. Pucker up, Pace! You and Joey will do a lot of kissing,” Andie said as she leaned in and kissed Pacey quickly on the lips. “Good thing I’m not the jealous type, huh?” 

Pacey allowed Andie to hug him, and he caught Joey’s eyes over her shoulder. He watched as Joey looked away and then turned to walk away from them. He closed his eyes and tried to get lost in Andie’s embrace but all he could get lost in was the look on Joey’s face as he hugged another girl. 


	19. Action

“Alright, everyone. Thanks for taking time out of your schedules to meet today,” Dawson said, perhaps taking his role as director and head writer of ‘War of the Heart’ (his new bright idea) a little too seriously. “Today, I want to go over the storyboards and take any suggestions any of you may have as far as dialogue goes.”

The three of them watched, not bothering to jump up and help, as Dawson fumbled with a piece of posterboard as he placed it on an easel, displaying juvenile drawings of stick figures. 

Joey, who was sitting at Dawson’s desk, avoided Pacey’s eyes at all costs. The new shiny couple was sitting a little too close for her liking at the foot of the bed. She really didn’t know why she was there, or why she had agreed to put herself through the torture, but she had miserably decided maybe it was because she’d rather be near him as a friend than not near him at all. 

Yes, she realized how pathetic that sounded, but it was something she couldn’t quite control anymore. 

Somewhere along the way, in a few short months, she had developed a bizarre, gravitational pull towards Pacey Witter. 

Dawson continued, unaware of the awkwardness radiating from his three friends. “Naturally, I’m directing. Andie is producing and doubling as my lighting person,” he threw a smile at the blond who kindly smiled back. “I have my two leads; Joey as Rebecca McKay, and Pacey as Rudolph Wentworth.” 

“Rudolph Wentworth?” Pacey spoke up in a pitched tone, his eyes narrowed, finally taking his eyes away from Joey. For the past seven minutes, he had been sneaking glances at her, hoping for something positive her way, but she wouldn’t even look at him. He couldn’t blame her. He could barely look at himself in the mirror those days. “You couldn’t give me a manlier name, man? Like Butch Woodrow or Thor Huntington?” 

Joey snorted and shook her head as she looked down at her nails. 

Pacey shot her a look. At least it was something thrown his way. Still, she didn’t look. 

“Thor?” Andie said with a laugh. “I’m sorry, Pacey, but you definitely couldn’t pull off a Thor.” 

“Hey, I resent that,” Pacey said, tapping her on top of the head with the ET doll he had been holding. 

Joey finally shifted her eyes to Pacey and Andie as they laughed together, and her heart dropped to her stomach. She seethed with jealousy. She shifted in her chair with irritation. “Can we get this thing over with? I told Bessie I’d be at the restaurant by six.” 

“An hour?” Dawson whined. “Going over the storyboards alone will take at least two!” He then sighed dejectedly. “Fine, but I will really need you guys for this. If you’re not one-hundred-and-ten percent committed, back out now. I’m talking working most nights and weekends, even during lunch periods if we have to. There will be a film festival up in Boston this summer, and I’d like to have it done by then.” 

Joey sat back against the headboard, wondering if she should take her out now. Spending hours upon hours with Pacey and Andie seemed like pure torture. Still, not seeing him at all seemed even worse. And, on a lighter note, she really couldn’t leave her best friend Dawson hanging. 

“Fine,” she finally relented with a sigh. “I can stay longer… and I’m committed.” 

“And you know I’m committed,” Andie chirped. “Putting my mind to something like this will be great for me. Just know, Dawson, I’m a total control freak, and I won’t be easy to work with.” 

“I’m up for the challenge,” Dawson said with a small smile, liking Andie more and more with every moment he spent with her. At least she seemed to be genuinely excited to help him; unlike his two best friends, who seemed to be more cynical and moody as of late. 

Andie smiled back and then quickly looked away. 

Pacey watched the odd exchange and frowned a little. Did he just see Andie blush when Dawson smiled at her? And why wasn’t he more upset by it? 

“Pacey?” Dawson said, breaking Pacey from his thoughts. “Are you completely in? I know it will probably cut into your cereal eating and Married With Children marathons, but I really need you for this.” 

Pacey looked over at Joey, and his heart jumped to his throat when she finally locked eyes with him. “I’m in. Completely,” he said through a dry throat. 

“Okay, good,” Dawson said as he began handing out leaves of paper. “Now, here’s a copy of the first act. It’s a rough draft, so I’m open to any ideas.” 

Pacey reluctantly took the small stack of paper, his heart still thumping behind his Adam's apple. 

Dawson stood up. “I think my mom made snacks. Can I get anyone something to drink before we start?” 

“Diet coke,” Joey said as she began reading her script. 

“Chocolate milk for me,” Pacey said. 

“I’ll go with you,” Andie said, jumping to her feet. “You’ll need help carrying everything.” 

“Great, thanks,” Dawson said with a smile as he held the door open for Andie to walk through and then closed it behind them. 

Once Dawson and Andie left, Pacey looked at Joey, who was staring intently at her piece of paper, even though her eyes were unmoving, so he knew she was only pretending to read. 

“So, this is how it will be, huh?” 

“How what will be?” Joey asked as she tried to appear no worse for wear. 

“Forget it,” Pacey mumbled, looking back down at his script. A few moments of tortured silence passed before he played the ham card, trying to at least get her to smile. “Where does Dawson come up with this crap, anyway? The way these characters talk… who talks like that? Cantankerous? I mean, what does that even mean?” 

Joey said nothing. 

“Okay, seriously, Joey, if this is how it’s going to be, I should just leave right now. There’s really no point in even attempting this thing when you won’t even look at me,” Pacey said, standing up and grabbing his jacket. He headed towards the door, but her small voice stopped him. 

“It hurts.” 

Pacey froze with his hand on the doorknob before turning to regard her sadly. Finally, she was looking at him in the eyes, and he didn’t like what he saw there; sadness that he had caused. 

“Seeing you with Andie hurts,” she said, her voice quivering. She tore her eyes from his. 

Pacey swallowed before asking, “Then why are you here, Joey?” 

“Because I… I just want to be near you.” 

At that moment, Pacey wanted to pull her into his arms and forget everything and everyone else, but he couldn’t. His fear, his insecurities, kept him frozen in place. 

“Jo, I…” 

Dawson and Andie picked that moment to return, their arms full of a vast array of drinks and snacks. 

“We got everything you can think of,” Andie announced. “Have you ever seen those cupboards?” 

“Of course I have,” Pacey said, clearing his throat. “The Leery kitchen is the main reason I still frequent the place.” 

Joey accepted her diet coke from Dawson, forcing a small smile, blinking away her unshed tears. 

“Everything okay?” Dawson asked softly, regarding her with a frown. 

“Yeah,” Joey said with a smile even though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. 

Dawson kept watching her even as she went back to her script. He frowned and looked over to where Pacey and Andie were sitting on the bed, sifting through the snacks, noticing that Pacey’s sad eyes matched Joey’s. 

Suddenly, some things started making sense to him, and he couldn’t believe it had taken him that long to notice. 

~ 

Jen was straddling Jack and pulled away from the intense kiss. She stared down at him, her chest heaving. “Are you sure Andie won’t be home?” 

“She’s at Dawson’s working on some movie thing. She won’t be back for hours,” Jack assured her before pulling her back down to him. 

Jen wasn’t exactly sure how she had gotten here, only that they had been making out at school, and then Jack was inviting her back to his big empty house. Before she knew it, they were on his bed, and she was in her bra, and his kisses were rendering her stupid. 

It felt good to get lost in someone’s kisses, and it felt even better to be kissing Joey’s now ex-boyfriend, taking extreme satisfaction in that. 

Jen ran her hands up Jack’s bare toned chest and deepened the kiss, slowly grinding her hips against him. She tried that a few more times and then pulled away with a frown. “Is something wrong?” 

“No. No, nothing’s wrong,” Jack said. “Let’s continue with the kissing. I like the kissing.” 

Jen complied and leaned back down. She moaned when Jack squeezed her ass through her jeans. She gyrated against him again and pulled away, realizing he was limper than a wet noodle. It shattered her ego. Usually, guys were already on their second orgasm by then, not still getting warmed up. 

She climbed off him and sat against the headboard. 

Jack reluctantly sat up and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry.” 

“What’s wrong? Is this about Joey?” 

“Trust me, it has nothing to do with Joey.” 

“Is it me then? Am I doing something wrong?” 

“No,” Jack assured her. “You’re definitely doing everything right.” 

“Apparently not,” Jen said, eyeing his lackluster bulge. 

Jack immediately pulled a pillow over his lap. 

Jen leaned over and grabbed her shirt from the floor, pulling it back on. She got up. “I should go.” 

“Jen.” 

“Look, I won’t tell anyone about this.” 

“Please, just know that it’s not about you.” 

“Yeah, whatever,” Jen said before leaving. 

~ 

After Pacey and Andie bid their farewells, it was just Dawson and Joey. 

“So,” Dawson began as he leaned back against the headboard. “That was fun, wasn’t it? I think we got a lot accomplished, don’t you?” 

“Yeah,” Joey said with a small smile. “It was nice seeing you in your element, Dawson. It felt like old times,” she said, even though that wasn’t exactly true.

“When Andie and I came back in earlier, it kind of seemed liked you and Pacey were upset about something,” Dawson said, deciding to get right to it. 

“Um, no, I don’t think so. He probably said something nonsensical, and it irritated me.” 

“That’s all it was?” Dawson asked, his eyes narrowing in reproof. 

Joey stood up. “Look, Dawson, I’m tired okay? I’ll just catch up with you later.” She walked to the window and froze at his next words. 

“You like him. I can tell.” 

She slowly turned to face him, her cheeks flushing. “Dawson, did you bump your head?” 

“Don’t play dumb with me, Joey. I know you, and I’m not as oblivious as everyone likes to think I am. I can see the writings on the wall when they’re blatantly spelled out for me. You like Pacey. Pacey likes you.” 

Joey bit her bottom lip, holding back her tears. “I don’t know what to say.” 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Dawson said with a shrug. 

“So, you’re not upset?” she asked, her eyes brimming with tears through her frown. 

“I don’t know how I feel. I know that I’m not surprised,” he said with a small frown, surprised by his own admission. 

Joey’s body slumped, and she walked back to the bed. She sat down next to him and finally allowed her tears to flow, relieved that Dawson, her best friend, finally knew her secret. 

Dawson wrapped his arm around Joey’s shoulders and pulled her to him as she cried. A small part of him had been holding onto the false hope that maybe he and Joey were meant for each other, but he knew he would be holding onto something that wasn’t real. 

~ 

“That was fun, wasn’t it?” Andie asked Pacey as he was taking her home. 

“Oh yeah, tons,” Pacey said monotonously. 

“You know, I don’t get why two are so hard on Dawson about his movies. What’s so wrong about someone being passionate about something? I find it endearing.” 

“Give it enough time. Eventually, you’ll find it nauseating.” 

Andie frowned. “What’s wrong with you, Pacey?” 

“Is that a trick question?” 

“For the past few days, you’ve been walking around like a zombie. The Pacey I first met was this fun, happy guy. Now-“ 

“Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do,” Pacey intoned, knowing it wasn't fair that he was taking things out on her, but he still couldn’t keep the edge from his tone. 

“Pacey, can I ask you something?” 

“I have a good feeling you’ll probably ask anyway,” he mumbled sardonically. 

“That night at the dance, when I saw you and Joey dancing together, and you both said it was just two friends dancing, there was more to it than that, wasn’t there?” 

Pacey was surprised by the question. He kept his eyes focused on the road. 

“There was, wasn’t there?” 

“Perhaps I could ask you the same thing about Dawson,” Pacey said, his defenses going up. 

“Dawson? What does Dawson have to do with anything?” 

“Oh please, I see the way you two are with each other. You laugh at his jokes.” 

“And?” 

“No one laughs at Dawson’s jokes!” 

“He’s a nice guy, Pacey, and I like him. But only as a friend.” 

“Are you sure about that?” 

“You know, the fact that you’re trying to change the subject just makes me even more sure that something is going on with you and Joey. Just tell me, Pacey. Do you like Joey?” 

“Andie.” 

“Just answer me, Pacey. It’s a simple question.” 

Pacey swallowed hard, tired of everything. He decided to lay it all out on the line. “Yes,” he finally said, knowing that it was much more than that, but knowing Andie didn’t need any more salt added to her wound. 

Andie stared back at him, a mixture of emotions running through her; hurt and anger taking the top bidding. “Are you the reason Joey and Jack broke up? She has feelings for you, too, doesn’t she?” 

“Andie, please,” Pacey said tiredly. 

“Did you even like me at all, Pacey, or was I just some sad, pathetic girl who you felt bad for?” 

“I’m not getting into this with you.” 

“Well, I’m not letting it go. I can be very persistent.” 

“Andie.” 

“Pacey, I need to know!” 

“Andie, seriously, can we just stop?” Pacey yelled, glancing over at her. “Honestly, you want to know the sad truth of it all? Yes, okay? Yes, I like Joey Potter. In fact, I’m head-in-the-clouds, ass-backward, crazily in love with Joey Potter and, yes, maybe I was with you because a small part of me felt bad for you. Is that what you want to hear?” 

Andie stared back at him, her eyes brimming with tears. “Glad we got that all straightened, Pacey.” 

Pacey sighed, his conscience getting the best of him. “Andie.” 

“Pacey!” Andie yelled. 

Before Pacey could react, he heard the sound of tires screeching and the crunching of metal before everything went black.


	20. Hurt

Joey didn’t know how long she had cried on Dawson’s shoulder; she only knew that she felt completely out of tears by the time she pulled away. She sat forward and wiped at her wet face, feeling strange under Dawson’s scrutiny. Neither of them ever thought they’d be there, that she would cry over Pacey Witter and that Dawson would be the one comforting her.

A few short months ago, she had cried herself to sleep a few times over Dawson Leery. Those days seemed like an eternity ago. She’d thought she loved Dawson, never realizing that she was gravitating to the one person who knew her best, that her mind was manifesting feelings that weren’t real. Then, when Jen entered the picture, she felt threatened and had confused those emotions with love. 

Now, she knew for sure she’d never really loved Dawson at all, at least not like that. She had never once felt for Dawson what she felt for Pacey. 

That realization terrified her more than anything else in her life ever had because she knew that Pacey had the power to hurt her in the worst way possible. 

“Are you okay?” Dawson asked her, breaking her from her miserable reverie. 

“Yeah,” Joey muttered. “I’m sorry for crying on you like that. I probably got snot on your flannel.” 

“That’s what friends are for, right?“ Dawson said. “Above all else, that’s what we are, Joey.” 

Joey finally looked at him, surprised that he was being so okay about all of it. Maybe Dawson was growing up, maturing. She’d thought he would take it worse than anyone, that he would irrationally feel as if Pacey was stealing her away from him, but it wasn’t like that at all it seemed. She suddenly felt a swell of emotion for her best friend. 

“I will say one thing, though,” Dawson continued. “I never, in a million years, thought I’d ever see you cry over Pacey Witter, at least not about something like this. It’s a little hard to grasp.” 

Joey took in his words before smiling, considering she had been thinking that moments before. 

“How did it happen? When did it happen?” 

“I can’t really say,” Joey said, tucking hair behind her ears. “I don’t even know how it happened, just that it did.” 

“Was it that kiss in detention?” 

Joey looked at him blankly. 

“I think that was when everything started changing. At least, that was when I felt like everything was changing.” 

“Well, I can’t say I liked him after that, but I definitely didn’t think he was as repulsive as I had always thought he was.” She then shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m talking to you, of all people, about all of this.” 

“I think with everything that’s happened these past few months, it’s obvious that you and I are meant to be just friends. And, even though it’s weird to me and I don’t understand any bit of it, I want to be the one you talk to about this, Joey.” 

Joey nodded and looked away. 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt. Pacey is with Andie now and-“ 

“Trust me, I know,” Joey mumbled sardonically. 

“Wait, does Pacey know how you feel?” 

“Oh, he knows,” Joey muttered. “He chose Andie.” 

“Oh,” Dawson said, frowning a little. “Did anything ever happen between you two?” 

Joey nibbled her lip and looked down at her hands, knowing she couldn’t lie to Dawson. “That night at Chris Wolfe’s house, when we had that all-nighter? We kissed.” 

“While Pacey was with Andie?” Dawson asked, disdain finally reaching his voice. 

She knew it was too good to be true. She knew Dawson would eventually find something to bitch about. “I know it was wrong, Dawson, so skip the lecture, okay. I feel bad enough about everything as it is.” 

Dawson scoffed and looked away. “I can’t believe Pacey would do that. Actually, I can. He slept with his teacher and kissed Jen right after I dumped her, so I know his morals aren’t exactly intact.” 

“Okay, Dawson, we don’t need to sit here and defame Pacey’s character right now.” 

“This coming from the one person who had made it her life’s mission to defame his character until about three months ago?” 

“Yeah, well, a lot’s changed,” Joey retorted, crossing her arms over her chest. “After a while, you grow up and allow yourself to see people differently.” 

Dawson continued as if he hadn’t heard her. “And what about Andie? She’s a good girl, she doesn’t deserve something like that.” 

“We didn’t mean for it to happen, Dawson,” Joey defended. “And since when do you care about Andie so much?” 

“Look, Joey, you’re my best friend, that will never change. But the moment you have to sneak around with someone behind people’s backs, I think you’re taking it into dangerous territory. That, I can’t condone.” 

“Well, you don’t have to worry about it, Dawson, because nothing is going on between me and Pacey. He’s made it blatantly obvious that it’s Andie he wants,” Joey snapped.

Dawson sighed and ran a hand through his dirty blond hair. 

“I should go,” Joey said, her voice quivering. She turned to duck out the window but stopped when there was a knock on the door. She turned back to see Gail come in, her face pale. 

“Mom, what’s wrong?” Dawson asked, instantly standing up from the bed. 

“Doug Witter was just on the phone,” Gail began. “There’s been an accident. Pacey’s been in an accident.” 

“Oh, God,” Dawson said, grabbing his coat. He immediately turned to Joey, seeing the color drain from her face. At that moment, he knew; her feelings for Pacey were most definitely real, whether he understood them, whether he condoned them. “Come on, Joey,” he said, grabbing her hand and tugging her out of the room. 

~ 

Joey, Dawson, Gail, and Mitch all ran into Capeside Memorial, having reached the hospital in record time. After breathlessly talking with a nurse, they were pointed in the direction of the waiting room. Inside, Mr. and Mrs. Witter, along with Doug, Gretchen, and Jack, were all sitting at the edges of their seats, all of them jumping up at the sight of their present company. 

Joey stood frozen in place, not really paying attention to anything around her, to the rush of voices as everyone tried to get a grasp on the situation. She numbly walked over to Doug, who was explaining everything to Dawson, Mitch, and Gail, and tugged on his shirtsleeve. 

“Doug,” she said, her own voice sounding foreign to her ears. “Pacey… is he okay?” 

Doug turned to her, his face sullen. “We know nothing yet, Joey,” he explained. “They got rushed in about twenty minutes ago. It was bad,” he said, his voice shaky. 

Joey dropped her hand from Doug’s sleeve and took a step back, her head spinning. 

“Joey,” Dawson said from beside her, but his voice sounded like an echo to her ears. 

“No, I can’t do this,” Joey whispered and left the waiting room. Once out in the hall, away from everyone’s eyes, she slumped against a wall and sobbed into her hands. 

“Joey,” Dawson said as he followed her out. He pulled her to him. “He will be okay. They both are.” 

“Nothing can happen to him,” Joey cried. “I didn’t even… I didn’t even tell him how I really felt. I mean, he knows I care about him, but-“ 

“Joey,” Dawson said, pulling away and pulling her hands from her face. “Look at me. He will be okay, alright?” 

“You don’t know that, Dawson! Stop saying that!” 

Dawson dropped his arms at his sides and stared back at her, knowing there was nothing he could say to make her feel better. 

Just then, a doctor walked towards them, his facial expression somber. 

“Doctor! Pacey Witter and Andrea McPhee, are they okay?” Doug said as he came out of the waiting room, followed by everyone else. 

The doctor sighed as he stared back at the stark white faces in front of him. “It’s still early, but upon initial evaluation, Mr. Witter suffered multiple broken ribs, a broken wrist, and a broken ankle. We’ll have to run more tests to be sure, but he should be fine. Banged up but fine.” 

Joey let out her shaky breath and leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes. She vaguely felt Dawson rubbing her shoulder reassuringly. 

“And Andie?” Jack spoke up. “What about my sister?” 

“Andrea, on the other hand,” the doctor said, “I’m afraid wasn’t so lucky.” 

Jack let out a sound, something between a sob and a gasp, and slumped against the wall. Doug Witter reached a hand and placed it on his shoulder. “What’s wrong with her?” 

“She suffered broken ribs as well and may have some internal bleeding. We’ll have to run more tests to see the extent of the damage. Andrea also suffered trauma to the head. We’re not exactly sure to what extent as of right now, but I’ll keep you all posted as soon as I know something. Just try to relax and know that we’re doing everything we can.” 

Joey removed her hands from her face and looked over at Dawson, noticing the look on his face at the news about Andie’s condition. She reached over and laced her fingers through his. 

~ 

A long six hours later, with the sun beginning to kiss the horizon, Joey laid her head on Dawson’s shoulder. She was beyond exhausted and could barely keep her eyes open, but she refused to sleep. She wouldn’t sleep until she knew both Pacey and Andie were okay. 

Mitch and Gail had left a few hours before, making it clear to everyone to call if anything changed, and had tried to talk Dawson and Joey into going home and getting some rest, but neither of them was having it. 

Dawson shifted under her head, trying to get comfortable in the hard chair. 

Joey just stared at nothing in particular, her eyes brimming with tears. The whispering coming from the Witter family on the other side of the room barely registered in her mind. Nothing registered in her mind at the moment, except for the fact that she wouldn’t breathe normally again until she found out Pacey was okay. 

Everything still seemed so surreal to her. Just a few short months ago, Pacey Witter barely even registered on her radar as anything other than Dawson’s loser, pain-in-the-ass best friend. How had everything changed so much? How did he go from being the boy who drove her crazy to the guy she was now crazy about? Had she closed herself off to him so much over the past ten years that she hadn’t gotten to see just how truly amazing he was? Had she really been that daft, dumb, and blind to not see the true him? It was scary how fast and how much everything had changed, but it had changed. Nothing would ever be the same after this. She would never be the same after this. 

Movement from the corner of her eye caught her attention, and she watched as Jack got up and left the waiting room. He hadn’t spoken one word to her since she had gotten there, hadn’t even looked in her direction, and she knew she had to talk to him, no matter how unpleasant it might be. 

She lifted her head from Dawson’s shoulder. “I’m gonna go talk to Jack. Do you want me to get you anything?” 

“I’m all good,” Dawson said sadly, and she knew he was worried about Pacey more than he was letting on. She knew he had his own reservations about his and Pacey’s friendship that he was most likely struggling with. 

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek before standing up and entering the hallway. She didn’t have to go far, Jack was right outside the door, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. 

“Jack.” 

Jack looked up, his expression remaining flat. “I can’t talk to you right now, Joey.” 

“I’m sorry about Andie, Jack. If there’s-“ 

“It was Pacey that caused all of this,” Jack spat, interrupting her. “Your boyfriend is the one who put my sister in the hospital.” 

“You don’t know that, Jack. It could have been another driver. It could have been-“ 

“They talked to the other driver, Joey,” Jack exclaimed, causing a few nurses to turn their heads and look. “The other driver said it was Pacey who swerved, it was Pacey who wasn’t paying attention. He did this!” 

Joey’s bottom lip trembled, and she looked down at her shoes. 

“So don’t defend him to me. It’s bad enough the guy went after you when we were together, now my sister is lying in the hospital because of him.” 

Joey just nodded her head curtly, still looking down. 

Jack scoffed in disgust before brushing past her down the hall. 

Dawson came out of the waiting room then, no doubt having heard Jack’s words. “Don’t take what he says to heart, Jo. He’s just having a rough time.” 

Joey wiped at her cheek. “I can’t blame him for hating me or Pacey.” She then turned around and eyed Dawson. “Do you really think Pacey caused this? If he did… he’ll never forgive himself. He’ll carry this around for the rest of his life. It’ll kill him.” 

“I don’t know,” Dawson said sadly. “I don’t know what happened.” 

“If Andie… if she…” 

“Don’t even say it, Joey,” Dawson interrupted. “Come on. Let’s take a walk. We need to get out of here for a little while.” 

“But what if-“ 

“Come on.” 

Joey allowed Dawson to lead her out of the hospital into the small courtyard outside. They walked to a bench and sat down. Even though it was the end of May, it was still barely dawn, and it was cold. She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered, though the fresh air felt nice after being in that stuffy waiting room for hours. 

“You know,” Dawson said after a long time as he gazed off into the distance, his eyes narrowed in thought. “I keep thinking about the way things have gone down between Pacey and me these past few months. How I let my own insecurities get the best of me. How, no offense, I let girls come between us, and I can’t help but realize how juvenile it all seems now, how petty. I mean, I threw a basketball at his face and broke his nose.” 

“Dawson, Pacey knows you love him. You’re his best friend.” 

“I sure as hell haven’t acted like one lately.” 

“I’m sure there are things Pacey regrets too,” Joey said sadly. “You two are best friends. Best friends fight over stupid things… even girls. It’s normal.” 

Dawson quickly wiped at the corner of his eye. He looked at Joey, staring at her for a long moment before saying, “You know how I said I wasn’t very surprised about you and Pacey?” 

Joey nodded. 

“It’s because I’ve seen it for years… well, mostly from his part.” 

Joey frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, Pacey’s always cared about you, Joey, even when he didn’t even know it. I’ve always seen it, I just didn’t want to acknowledge it.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

Dawson made a sound, something between a laugh and a cough. “Well, for instance, when you fell and broke your arm in the third grade, it was Pacey who picked you up and carried you all the way home. In seventh grade, it was Pacey that wanted to take you to the school dance. He had gotten so nervous about asking you, he practically burned a hole in my bedroom carpet pacing back and forth, but you turned him down. He was so crushed after that, but he continued to call you names and pull your hair like he hated you, anyway, just to save face.” 

Joey looked away, trying to take it all in. 

“When your mom passed away,” Dawson continued, his voice shaking, “it was Pacey that told me to hold you and not to say anything, because he knew there was nothing I could say to make it better.” 

Joey was crying again as she listened.

“Your opinion, even though he would never admit it to you, has always mattered more to him than anyone’s.” 

“And I treated him like dirt all these years,” Joey mumbled. “Why are you telling me all this, Dawson?” 

“Because you’re both my best friends. And because, after these past few hours, I see how much you really care about him.” 

Just then, Doug Witter came walking up to him, relief on his face. “There you two are.” 

Dawson and Joey stood up immediately. 

“The doctor was just in. Pacey is fine, aside from a few broken bones, he’s going to be okay. My mom, dad, and sisters are in with him now, but I’m sure you two can see him next. He’ll want to see his best friends.” 

Dawson and Joey both exhaled with relief. 

“What about Andie?” Dawson asked. 

Joey glanced at Dawson. 

“Andie is okay too,” Doug said. “A little more banged up than Pacey, but the internal bleeding isn’t serious, and the damage to her head is minimal, but she’ll be fine.” 

“Thank God,” Dawson said with a grin. He turned to Joey and pulled her into a tight hug. “In case I don’t say it enough, Joey… I love you.” 

Joey hugged Dawson back for dear life, laughing in relief against his shoulder. “I love you, too, Dawson.” 

~ 

A half an hour later, the Witters entered the waiting room, their eyes red-rimmed. 

“Dawson and Joey, you can both see Pacey now,” Gretchen informed them as she wiped at her eyes. 

Dawson turned to Joey. “You can go first.” 

Joey smiled softly and squeezed Dawson’s hand before heading towards the room that Pacey was in. Heavy-hearted, she opened the door and entered, tears immediately springing to her eyes when she caught sight of Pacey lying in that hospital bed; a cast on his wrist and leg, needles and wires hooked up to him, his eyes black and blue from his broken nose. 

She walked to the bed and looked down at him, her tears flowing. She grabbed his limp hand and held it with both of hers. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this right now, Pace, but you look like crap,” she muttered, knowing he was sleeping and couldn’t hear her. 

She sniffled as she stared down at him. “You’re lucky you pulled through this, Witter. I would have been so mad at you if… if something would have happened,” her voice quivered. 

“I need to tell you something, Pace. Something I should have told you before.” She reached up and gingerly touched his cheek with her fingertips. “You made me love you,” she whispered. “Somehow, someway… you got to me, Pace, and you made me fall in love with you. I don’t know how you did it, or why it happened, but it did. I should have made it clear… before any of this happened. I love you, Pacey,” she whispered before leaning down and kissing his cheek. 

Pacey’s eyes suddenly fluttered open, and he stared up at Joey blankly. He blinked a few times and then cleared his dry throat. “Joey? Wh-what happened?” 

“Pace,” Joey whispered, her heart pounding in her throat. She choked back a sob as his blue eyes stared back at her. “You’re in the hospital right now. You were in a car accident, but we don’t have to talk about that right now.” 

“Andie,” Pacey choked out. “Is Andie okay?” 

Joey’s tears rolled down her cheeks as she nodded her head, knowing that Pacey would take it hard. He would blame himself entirely for all of it, and she was afraid it would only bring him closer to Andie and further from her. She then realized how selfish that seemed and pushed those thoughts away. “She’s okay. She will be okay.” 

Pacey closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. 

Joey smoothed his hair back. “Just get some rest, okay?” 

Pacey nodded and closed his eyes, giving her hand a squeeze before dozing off. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Joey whispered as she watched him sleep. 

~ 

A few days later, Joey pushed her way into Pacey’s room and stopped when she saw Jen Lindley sitting next to his bed. Pacey was sitting back against the headboard, looking more alert and better than he had in days. She smiled softly, secretly jealous that it seemed to have been Jen who had brought about this better mood. 

“Hey.” 

Jen immediately stood and smoothed out her skirt. “I was just leaving.” 

“No, it’s okay. You can stay.” 

“I should get going anyway,” Jen explained. “I was just bringing Pacey some of my Gram’s famous chocolate chip cookies.” 

“Anything beats the crappy hospital food. If I see one more Jello or fruit cup, I’m going to snap my own neck.” 

Joey smiled softly, glad to see that he was in a joking mood. The past few days, every time she visited, he had been in a sour mood, undoubtedly feeling guilty about everything, even though he had yet to admit it. 

“I’ll stop by and see you tomorrow,” Jen said, leaning down to kiss Pacey on the cheek. 

Joey ignored the surge of jealousy that coursed through her and silently berated herself for being so juvenile. 

“Feel free to bring more delicious baked goods,” Pacey said. 

Shooting Pacey a grin, Jen grabbed her jacket and then shot Joey a small smile before leaving the room. 

“I’ll be right back,” Joey told Pacey before following Jen out into the hall. “Jen, wait up.” 

Jen turned to her, the smile gone from her face. “Look, Joey, you don’t have to pretend we’re friends, okay?” 

“I just wanted to say that… I’m sorry for how I treated you before. You didn’t deserve it. I will admit that I was being a major bitch and, you were right… I was letting our mutual feelings for Pacey get the best of me. I’m sorry.” 

Jen regarded her before smiling softly. “I was a bitch too. I can’t let you take all the blame.” 

Joey smiled softly and tucked her hair behind her ears. 

“You really like him, don’t you?” 

“No, I… I love him.” 

Jen nodded and smiled. “Glad you can finally admit it. Now go admit it to him. I think he’d like to hear it.” 

“I can’t,” Joey mumbled. “He’s with Andie.” 

Jen looked at her for a long moment before saying, “I really think you need to talk to him.” Before Joey could respond, Jen said, “It sucks we’re finally starting to become civil, considering I’m leaving in a few days.” 

“You’re leaving?” 

“Going back to New York.” 

“But… why?” 

Jen laughed. “I thought you finding out I was going back to New York would’ve made your day. I have my reasons for leaving, reasons I don’t really want to discuss.” 

“Well, are you at least going to say goodbye to Dawson? I know he’d want you to say goodbye.” 

“Dawson hates me.” 

“Dawson doesn’t hate you, Jen. He was just hurt. You both were. But he doesn’t hate you.” 

Jen looked back at her with a small smile. “Maybe I will. I’ll see ya, Joey Potter.” 

“See ya,” Joey said and watched as Jen walked away. She then turned and went back into the room to find Pacey channel-surfing. 

“COPS is on, sweet,” Pacey said, not looking away from the TV. 

Joey walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. She eyed him, wanting to say so much but not knowing how to say it. 

“You know, Pacey, that beak of yours will never heal right if you keep breaking it.” 

“Ah, well, I’m sure you would agree… anything would be an improvement on this face.” 

Joey smiled softly, even though she wanted to tell him he had the most beautiful face she’d ever seen. “Have you seen or talked to Andie yet?” 

Pacey said nothing at first. Finally, he said, “She doesn’t wanna see me. Jack’s made that perfectly clear.” 

“You’ve seen Jack?” 

“No… but Jack had Doug let me know though,” he said sadly. “I can’t blame her for not wanting to see me. Look at what I did to her.” 

“Pacey-“ 

“Joey, please don’t sit there and tell me how this wasn’t my fault. It was.” 

“You didn’t mean to hurt Andie, Pace. Deep down, she knows that.” 

“I was driving, Jo.” 

“Yeah, but-“ 

“I was the one who wasn’t paying attention, I was the one who hit that other car!” Angrily, he threw the TV remote across the room, causing it to shatter. 

Joey jumped in surprise and held a hand to her mouth, her eyes brimming with tears. 

“Don’t try to make me feel better, Joey,” Pacey said, crying himself. “I don’t deserve Andie’s forgiveness, I don’t even deserve her friendship, and I sure as hell don’t deserve you.” 

“Pacey.” 

“You know what I said to her, right before we crashed?” Pacey asked, his voice broken, his bottled emotions finally boiling to the surface. “I told her everything. I told her about my feelings for you, I told her about my lack of feelings for her, and then I almost killed her. How am I supposed to live with that?” 

“Pacey, you didn’t do any of this on purpose, okay? Andie, she’ll-“ 

“Please, just go. I want to be alone right now.” 

“But-“ 

“Just go!” Pacey yelled. “Don’t you get it? Everything I touch turns to shit! All I do is hurt people, and the last thing I need is anyone’s pity, especially yours!” 

Joey nodded her head curtly, her bottom lip tucked into her mouth, her eyes brimming with tears. 

“Just go,” Pacey said again, with much less force, but she knew he still meant it. He watched as she turned and left the room, closing the door behind her. He pinched the bridge of his nose and cried, wondering why he could do nothing right, not even love her. 

~ 

The next day, Pacey was only half listening to Doug’s lecture. He was restless and sore and bored, and he wanted nothing more than to get out of that damn bed. He then realized he was even lucky to be alive and suddenly wished he would have died in the crash. Everyone would probably be better off. 

“You’re lucky the person in the other car walked away barely scratched, Pacey. This all could have been a lot worse.” 

Pacey rested his head back against the pillow, knowing that, once again, he had disappointed his family beyond repair. What else was new?

“Andie still won’t see me?” 

Doug sighed. “No, and even if she wanted to, I don’t think Jack would have it.” 

Pacey nodded solemnly, not blaming Andie or Jack one bit. 

There was a knock on the door and then Dawson stuck his head in. “Did I come at a bad time?” 

Doug stood up. “No, I was just leaving.” He surprised Pacey when he leaned down and hugged his little brother. “If you need anything, call.” 

Pacey nodded his head, not knowing what to say. He watched his brother leave and then averted his eyes to Dawson. “Did you see that? I think that’s the first time he’s ever hugged me.” 

Dawson smiled and sat down in the chair next to the bed. “Well, a lot of people realized just how much they care about you these past few days.” 

Pacey chuckled mirthlessly. “Yeah.” 

“Look, Pace, I talked to Joey earlier.” 

Pacey stared at the TV, not wanting to talk about Joey Potter right then.

“She’s hurt. Really hurt.” 

Pacey still said nothing, only swallowed the lump in his throat. 

“She loves you.” 

Pacey finally looked at Dawson, taken aback by his words. “What?” 

“Look, I know, Pacey. I know about her feelings for you. She told me.” 

“She told you? She told you she loves me? She said that?” Pacey was dumbfounded by this admission, never in a million years thinking Joey would admit to Dawson, of all people, about how she felt. 

“She didn’t have to tell me. I saw it on her face when she found out you were in an accident,” Dawson continued. “I’ve never seen her so scared about anything in my life.” 

Pacey didn’t know what to say. Joey Potter loved him. He had known that she had feelings for him and maybe wanted a relationship, but he didn’t know that she loved him, and the fact that she had told Dawson she loved him made it that more real for him. 

“And how do you feel about that?” 

Dawson slumped back in his seat and let out a little laugh. “Honestly? Surprisingly okay.” He then turned serious. “I just want to see my two friends happy.” 

“Well, if you want to see Joey happy, it won’t be with me. Look at what I do to people,” Pacey said, his voice sad. “I hurt you, I hurt Andie, I hurt Jack, I hurt Joey. Everything I ever do, I screw up. I can’t put Joey through that. She deserves so much better than that, so much better than me. I can’t have her wake up one day and realize she wasted her life and energy on me. Right now, I need to just separate myself from everyone.” 

“Do you love her?” 

“Yeah,” Pacey said after a beat, a little wary about sharing that information with Dawson. “That’s why I can’t be with her.” 

“Maybe you should let her decide that. Joey is pretty strong-minded. I’m sure if she decides she wants something, she really wants it.” 

“Like she wanted you?” Pacey said. On Dawson’s disapproving smirk, he continued, “Sorry, low blow. I’m just saying, you know as well as anyone that Joey Potter hated me not too long ago. How long can it really take for whatever feelings she has for me to dissipate and for her to remember all those things that used to annoy her about me?” 

“I don’t know,” Dawson said, getting a bit of a headache. “I don’t know what to tell you, I’m not exactly an expert on matters of the heart if you haven’t noticed by my actions as of late.” 

“But you are a self-proclaimed expert on Joey Potter.” 

Dawson burst out laughing. “After the past few months, I respectively retract that title.” 

Pacey leaned his head back and laughed a little, but not before pressing his button for his morphine drip. 

“I guess Andie factors into this equation too, right?” 

“Actually, Andie and I aren’t together. She won’t even see me,” Pacey said sadly. “I can’t really blame her.” 

“Wait, you and Andie aren’t together?” Dawson asked, not exactly knowing why that piece of information made him happy. 

“No. Right before the accident, I made it a point to yell and scream at her and tell her how it was Joey I wanted and not her. So, yeah. I think it’s pretty much safe to assume that Andie will never talk to me again.” 

Dawson frowned a little, wondering how Andie felt about all of it. Just then, the door opened and Jen walked in. She froze when she saw Dawson sitting there. 

“I keep picking the worst times to come,” Jen said. 

“I used to have that problem,” Pacey joked. 

Dawson laughed at his friend’s sexual innuendo. “Still the same old Pacey Witter.” He stood up and walked over to Jen. “I was just leaving.” 

“Um, since you’re here, can I talk to you out in the hall?” Jen asked. 

“Sure,” Dawson said, slightly confused. He followed Jen into the hallway and then watched her, waiting for her to speak. 

“I was going to stop by your house, but since you’re here, I figure I might as well tell you now.” On Dawson’s nod, she continued, “I just wanted to let you know that I’m moving back to New York the day after tomorrow.” 

“What, you’re leaving?” 

“Yeah,” Jen said, wrapping her arms around herself. “I just don’t really feel like I fit in here. I think it’s time to go home.” 

Dawson ran a hand through his hair and let out a scoff. “I don’t really know what to say.” 

“I would say you could tell me you will miss me, but that probably wouldn’t be the case,” Jen said with a sad smile. 

Dawson looked at her before sighing and pulling her into a hug. “I am going to miss you, Jen. Despite whatever emotional rollercoaster we’ve been on these past few months, I was your boy adventure, and you were still my dream girl.” 

Jen hugged him back, her eyes glistening with tears. She pulled away, wanting to tell him the real reason she was leaving, that Chris Wolfe was making her life hell, constantly holding that sex tape over her head, but she kept it to herself. “I’ll see ya, Dawson Leery. Take care of yourself.” 

“You too,” Dawson said and watched as she turned and went back into Pacey’s room. He sighed and then headed down the hall to Andie’s room. He had visited her three times already and was wondering if he was getting on her nerves yet. 

Andie was alone, a rare time when Jack and her dad weren’t there, and she smiled softly when she saw him. “Hey.” 

Dawson closed the door behind him and took a seat next to the bed. “How’re you feeling?” 

“Sore, tired, weak.” 

“Angry?” 

The smile slipped from Andie’s face. 

“I was just visiting Pacey,“ Dawson clarified. “He told me about everything.” 

“I don’t want to talk about Pacey right now.” 

“He didn’t mean to get into that accident, Andie. He didn’t mean to hurt you.” 

“Just like he didn’t mean to fall in love with Joey and lead me on?” 

“Well, that he was wrong about.” 

Andie looked towards the window and hesitated for a long time before saying, “I saw it. I knew it before I think he even did. The way he looked at her, the way he always talked about her. How he would be in the worst mood and then she would show up and he would smile from ear to ear. I asked him and he blatantly lied to my face about it. He stayed with me even though he loved her. Who does that?” 

“Someone who’s scared,” Dawson said. 

“I guess I can’t be too mad at him, right?” Andie mumbled. “I mean, even though I saw it, I still stayed. I stayed because I felt safe and comfortable, and it was nice having someone there. I guess, in a way, I used him too. Listen to me, I sound ridiculous. We were only together for a couple of weeks. It still hurts, you know.” 

“I know it does,” Dawson said, reaching over to grab her hand. 

Andie looked at him in surprise. 

Dawson pulled his hand away. “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean-“ 

“No, it was nice,” Andie said with a soft smile. 

Dawson smiled back and then grabbed her hand again. 

“I’m glad you’re here, Dawson.” 

Dawson squeezed her hand, realizing he didn’t really want to be anywhere else at the moment. 

~ 

Joey knocked softly on the door and then went inside, finding Pacey alone in his hospital room. The room was dim, with only the wall-mounted TV on in the room's corner. 

Pacey glanced in her direction. “Hey.” 

“Hey,” Joey said, stepping inside completely and shutting the door behind her. “I know visiting hours are over in half an hour, but I wanted to see you.” She walked to the bed. “We don’t have to talk, Pacey. We don’t have to say anything right now.” 

Pacey regarded her for a few beats before peeling the blanket away from him. “What’re you waiting for, Potter? Get in.”

“I can’t, I’ll hurt you.” 

“No, you won’t.” 

Joey smiled crookedly and toed her shoes off before getting under the covers with him. She gingerly rested her cheek against his chest, not wanting to hurt him, and closed her eyes, sighing in relief when he wrapped an arm around her. She had done nothing like that with Pacey before, not even close, yet it somehow felt like the most natural thing in the world. 

“Pacey-“ 

“You said we wouldn’t talk, Jo,” Pacey mumbled tiredly as he kept watching the TV. “We’ll talk about everything another day.” 

Joey snuggled closer against him, hearing his heart racing against her ear. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him she loved him, but she supposed that would have to wait for another day. 

“I’m glad you didn’t die,” she finally whispered, her voice shaky. 

She felt Pacey release a deep breath and then his lips brushed against her forehead, his arm tightening around her. 

She didn’t know what the future held for them yet, but she knew there was no place else she’d rather be.


End file.
